How to Retain Girls

[dempseyc]

I realized as of late that most of the girls I've slept with recently never seem to return. I'll never see them after the first day we have sex. Clearly my problem is retaining women after the first lay.

Is this because I set the wrong frame (i.e. one night stand, or on the opposite side did I seem too needy?) or could it be because the sex was unsatisfactory? I'm not cumming early with any of them, and am giving most of them penetrative orgasms, but perhaps there's something else?

Any advice would be extremely appreciated.

 

[ray_zorse]

Two things I would look at.

1 is your connection building, if you're picking up in high energy nightgame situation and rapidly moving and pulling and fucking them while their emotions are cresting then that's great but don't have high expectations. If you're deep diving and connecting over coffee followed by walk in the park, cooking dinner etc, then that's much better for retentiom, but I have still had them flat out ignore me after.

2 is attainability, go look it up on the site. It's vital to master attainability as a seducer, gives you incredible insight into situations.

Ray

 

[dempseyc]

Could be any or all of those things. How do you try to make contact again, and how long after you sleep with them?

I usually text them the day after saying something that applied to the night before (i.e. one time a girl sprayed me with her perfumed as a joke before she left, so the next day I texted her saying "All my roommates make fun of me cause I smelt like girl's perfume").

 

[Franco]

dempseyc,

I usually text them the day after saying something that applied to the night before (i.e. one time a girl sprayed me with her perfumed as a joke before she left, so the next day I texted her saying "All my roommates make fun of me cause I smelt like girl's perfume").

The first text you send a girl after hooking up with her for the night is a very important one; it's not really a good time to make a joke unless you're including a level of warmth in it that shows her you care. For example, this would be better:

"Hey Jen, I had a great time with you last night . All my buddies are making poking fun at me because I smell like perfume!"

The first part of that text is very important because you're showing her warmth when she's in a very vulnerable state mentally (i.e. she's thinking, "does he like me? does he think I'm a slut? will he call me? will he hate me afterward?") All kinds of things are going through her mind, so the first thing you want to do is alleviate any tension and fear she might have about having had sex with you, then you can allow yourself to get back into more casual/fun conversation.

- Franco