How to Shake Back

Rakehell

Tool-Bearing Hominid
Tool-Bearing Hominid
Joined
Mar 28, 2021
Messages
683
Somethings Off….

Have you ever felt flat? Not the emotional flat where you’re in a gray state of being, and everything’s perceived through a grayish lens.
I’m talking literally flat, like your brain has gone 2D and you feel like something’s just off. Off with your understanding, off with your performance, off with your outlook. Like theres a block in some significant portion of your brain where you aren't performing at your best? Thing’s that should’ve been easy are hard, you’re losing your memory, you find yourself feeling…not like yourself. And no matter how much you tackle it you never seem to Shake Back; causing the dreaded loop of banging your head against the wall, angst, self pity, and frustration.

If you know what i’m talking about then you know it’s a vicious cycle, and a period you wish you could flash forward through altogether. During these periods I’d find myself “frame shattered”, meaning I’d start questioning if the thing’s I achieved were even me. Was it Luck? Am I washed? My negative perceptions of event’s would feed on eachother creating this black vicious dog that’d sit on my shoulder with the gravity of a large stone.

I wanna tell you what caused this for me, how it not only affected my seduction skills but my social life and work performance altogether. I also want to tell you how I shook back from it all in literally a night.

October to now was a pretty fruitful month for me in retrospect. I had alot of great highs starting out but at some point I believe I was gut punched by some lingering feeling of defeat. I think thats how it all starts. You forget that you’re an eternal student to life and start feeling like you’ve got it all figured out. Then you’re smacked over the head and instead of processing that defeat and absorbing the lesson, you jump right back in. Pushing those emotions back to a corner of your mind and leaving them to fester and mold over.

But you aren’t jumping back in with the right frame, you’re jumping in with something to prove. And I find, at least for me when you’re tooo invested in the outcome of something, it’s literally life or death, and the odds won’t be in your favor. This is because essentially you’re gambling, gambling with your self perception; although subconsciously, what you’re saying is “ill do this because it’s what im good at”, and when it doesn’t happen it’s like taking 100 losses. You’re betting your self confidence, and trying to win it back by betting more of your confidence. It’s a deadly loop because when you aren’t confident in the right outcome, you’ll make more mistakes.

This feedback loop is kin to being stuck in a rut of snow. You’ll keep spinning your tires until you eventually burn out, or hit E.

The Outcome of hitting E

Honestly it’s hard to articulate the feeling of hitting E, so it’s hard to find solutions. I searched up and down for answers but couldn’t find anything that stuck 100%. The posts written by Teevster describing Low Momentum, and the posts written by Chase on Low T the reverse winner effect or depression, were the most that I could relate to but something was still missing. There was something inside of me that was blocking my performance, and the funny thing is I knew it was ME, but yet I couldn’t will myself to do better. My memory was shot and it was like I had forgotten my personality, it was like the first space jam where the monstars gave Mugsy Bogues, and Charles Barkley those balls that took their skill away and they were washed. Not only could I not seduce properly, I couldn’t do anything properly or so I felt. I’d forgotten the good times and replaced it with soiled memories.

Filling up the Tank

I knew the symptoms but couldn’t find a phenomenon. I came to the conclusion that my inner frame was shattered, and no matter how well I tried to portray myself, the foundation was shot, so I’d easily crumble myself when facing resistance. So all that meant was I’d have to rebuild my inner frame from the ground up. Which was sort of what I was doing in the beginning, but as I said having confidence in the wrong outcome leads to poor performance. I was trying to go out and win and build more points of reference, when in reality I had all the points I needed I just couldn’t see them. I’d go out feeling defeatist trying to earn my stripes back when I never lost them in the first place. And that rumination, that overthinking the outcome, is exactly why I couldn’t think properly.

I’m not sure how versed you guy’s are in the art of depressive feelings, but I believe the most deadly of them is rumination. I think its why Fyodor Doestovsky said “Pain and suffering are always inevitable for a large intelligence and a deep heart”. Not trying to toot my own horn but I think we can all agree that the smarter you are, the more inclined you are to think. And when those thoughts are mostly negative (due to something unprocessed molding over and infecting the rest of your mind like bacteria) it has a major impact on the rest of your mind. Rumination is said to not only cause mental but physical drawbacks. More specifically the mental drawbacks are so dramatic that it starts effecting you physically. You burn up precious mental resources adding to the garbage pile of unprocessed feelings, and when it comes time to do the real work on what you’re ruminating about, you can’t remember, articulate, stay awake, or project the right state. You brace for another loss, triggering your fight or flight responses, causing you to lose, ruminate again, wash rinse repeat. Killer Killer cycle.

Shaking Back

So what do you do? The simple answer is stop ruminating. By ceasing to overthing the outcome or what has been, you cease adding to the garbage pile in the corner of your brain.

But thats not all. You essentially have to take out the trash in your mind thats been building up over that period of time. You do this not by “blocking out the thoughts”, but by analyzing them and accepting them. Reframing them in a positive way so that you can finally let go. Half Baked thoughts are the ones that affect us the most, thats why I say confront them instead of shoving them deeper. It’s kind of like when you have an ear worm and you keep hearing that one song in your head over and over again, so you go and listen to the song and finally the ear worm is gone. Just like that.

I did this with a long meditation session. I was inspired by a post earlier this week on the forum in fact to really really get to the root of my problem as I’d been slacking on meditating. I asked myself what was really bothering me and went through everything I had ever ruminated on in that period and reframed it as something beneficial to my growth.

You may be thinking, so is that all? Well no. My next step was to revist a series of articles that had helped me in the past. The Success Factor series written by Ricardus Domino. Not only did it help me rebuild my inner sanctuary, and re find my charisma. But it encouraged me to remember the good times again.

And like that the veil was lifted from my eyes and I knew how to be charismatic again. Not conscious knowing but unconscious knowing, I didn’t have to think about what to do anymore I just could. What to do next came natural to me and my intuition just got an all around jump start.

I like to think of my inner psyche as a planet during meditation, it’s a planet similar to the sun but with purple flames and a huge rustic castle. During my lowest the planet had lost its glow and the castle was submerged, it’s light was dull, it had lost it’s gravitational pull. After freeing myself (from myself lol), and following these steps my planet was burning brighter than ever.

In retrospect this could’ve been avoided by processing defeat as a good thing, instead of pushing it to the side and trying to win twice to make up for the loss. By processing those negative thoughts in general so that they weren’t half baked. Also by enjoying the chase and not focusing so much on the kill.

It’s hard to see that cycle for what it is while you’re in it, afterall your perception is quite literally blurred.

Hope this helps anyone who feels like they need to Shake Back or unclutter their brain a little. Also hope this helps prevent some of you from needing to Shake Back in the first place.
 
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