How to start day game

[Sub-Zero]

Hey guys, so i see alot of guys read my posts, but only like 1 or 2 answer, yet i have 100's of views.
You guys might not be pros, but i still would like your advice, i just want some help and i don't care what level you're in, all advice is welcomed.

I've read the newbie assignment, but i can't do it for shit. I freeze. I would like to know how can i start this and how some of you broke out of your shell and started doing this.

Thanks.

 

[EyManitoba]

Starting picking up for me was just about grabbing my balls and going doing it. It was like when you wake up in the morning when your bed is warm and the room is cold and you want five more minutes. What happens almost invariably is that you stay in bed much longer than that though. My strategy for getting up and for picking up were about the same -- just jump up. Another metaphor might be like diving in a cold pool or climbing a roof. If you just go through with it and don't hesitate much you'll be able to go a lot further than you otherwise could.

The Newbie Assignment is good cuz it eases you into picking up. I don't know how you could have trouble at least starting it.

 

[Mr.Rob]

Hey guys, so i see alot of guys read my posts, but only like 1 or 2 answer, yet i have 100's of views.

Are you whining?

Stop that if you are and analyze why it might be that no one responds to your posts.

Here are a few I've thought of for you:
1. You ask questions that have been answered a hundred times in the past

2. A lot of guys (myself included) just skim till they find something interesting and then answer what interests them at that moment not really looking for "who wrote the post".

3. Perhaps the attitude or general emotion being conveyed in the post is off (not saying this is you I personally don't remember your attitude in past posts just throwing out general possible issues).

One thing we like here on the GC forums is a positive attitude coupled with lots of action.

When a guy comes on that hasn't actually done anything (approaches) it's not as stimulating as being able to help out a guy who pushed his limits, opened every girl, got rejected every time and comes back and says "wow that was insane I got rejected every time but I felt boss taking action! this is what I did .... what could I tweak about xyz so I can do better next time?"

--------------------------
Now to your actual question regarding how to break out of your shell.

First off why can't you do the newbie assignment? Where EXACTLY are you getting stuck?

Is it choosing a venue to walk around? Making eye contact with strangers? Can you ask an old lady for the time? Can you say "hi" to a girl and then walk away?

Where exactly?

Saying "I can't do the newbie assignment" is vague as hell and makes me think your stuck on #1 "choosing a venue to walk around for an hour". Haha that a joke but I hope your not actually stuck on #1 otherwise you got bigger problems.

What got me to break out of my shell is putting myself in a position where I didn't have a choice.

Do you think you would hesitate to talk to a girl if the consequence of not talking to her meant you had to sleep on the streets?

Would you wuss out of approaching if the consequence of not approaching was getting fuck up the ass by a prison convict fresh out of jail?

FUCK NO! You'd approach any girl if that was the alternative. So obviously those are extreme examples but if you really want to get good with girls your probably going to have to find some extreme motivation to get your ass moving.

If you have to make it so that you don't let yourself sleep in a cozy warm bed until you approach 2 girls and say "hi". I'm sure you'll get sick of sleeping on the cold ground very quickly.

Getting girls isn't all about sex and getting a girlfriend. Half of success with women is the man that you become in the process and courage is a virtue all great successful men have. Choose to start exercising your courage muscle to become the strongest version of yourself. (Just went all Elliott Hulse there for a second but it's true)

Try everything before you say "I can't do it".

Go out with a wingman.
Give 100 bucks to your friend and you can only get it back if you approach.
Do the sleep outside on the streets thing if you have to. (That would be super sick to see a newbie do btw because it shows extreme WANT and COMMITMENT to what you want)

Brainstorm try everything. Whatever it takes. At the end of the day if you don't want it bad enough you won't get it.

-Rob

 

[Sub-Zero]

Hey guys, so i see alot of guys read my posts, but only like 1 or 2 answer, yet i have 100's of views.

Are you whining?

Stop that if you are and analyze why it might be that no one responds to your posts.

Here are a few I've thought of for you:
1. You ask questions that have been answered a hundred times in the past

2. A lot of guys (myself included) just skim till they find something interesting and then answer what interests them at that moment not really looking for "who wrote the post".

3. Perhaps the attitude or general emotion being conveyed in the post is off (not saying this is you I personally don't remember your attitude in past posts just throwing out general possible issues).

One thing we like here on the GC forums is a positive attitude coupled with lots of action.

When a guy comes on that hasn't actually done anything (approaches) it's not as stimulating as being able to help out a guy who pushed his limits, opened every girl, got rejected every time and comes back and says "wow that was insane I got rejected every time but I felt boss taking action! this is what I did .... what could I tweak about xyz so I can do better next time?"

--------------------------
Now to your actual question regarding how to break out of your shell.

First off why can't you do the newbie assignment? Where EXACTLY are you getting stuck?

Is it choosing a venue to walk around? Making eye contact with strangers? Can you ask an old lady for the time? Can you say "hi" to a girl and then walk away?

Where exactly?

Saying "I can't do the newbie assignment" is vague as hell and makes me think your stuck on #1 "choosing a venue to walk around for an hour". Haha that a joke but I hope your not actually stuck on #1 otherwise you got bigger problems.

What got me to break out of my shell is putting myself in a position where I didn't have a choice.

Do you think you would hesitate to talk to a girl if the consequence of not talking to her meant you had to sleep on the streets?

Would you wuss out of approaching if the consequence of not approaching was getting fuck up the ass by a prison convict fresh out of jail?

FUCK NO! You'd approach any girl if that was the alternative. So obviously those are extreme examples but if you really want to get good with girls your probably going to have to find some extreme motivation to get your ass moving.

If you have to make it so that you don't let yourself sleep in a cozy warm bed until you approach 2 girls and say "hi". I'm sure you'll get sick of sleeping on the cold ground very quickly.

Getting girls isn't all about sex and getting a girlfriend. Half of success with women is the man that you become in the process and courage is a virtue all great successful men have. Choose to start exercising your courage muscle to become the strongest version of yourself. (Just went all Elliott Hulse there for a second but it's true)

Try everything before you say "I can't do it".

Go out with a wingman.
Give 100 bucks to your friend and you can only get it back if you approach.
Do the sleep outside on the streets thing if you have to. (That would be super sick to see a newbie do btw because it shows extreme WANT and COMMITMENT to what you want)

Brainstorm try everything. Whatever it takes. At the end of the day if you don't want it bad enough you won't get it.

-Rob

I'm not whining, i was thinking no one wanted to comment because they didn't have good answers and i said ill take advice from anyone. The part about the newbie assignment i can't pass is saying hi. I feel awkward saying hi without saying anything else. I always think of actually approaching and gaming her and i feel like i can't speak without feeling weird. Thanks

 

[Estate]

Hey man,
Mr. Rob was just helping out. The basics questions have been answered over and over on the forum and there's lots of articles already on the site so its not that nobody can help, it's just that they wont write the same things over and over.

As far as the newbie assignment goes... there's a sticking point, and that's ok.

Here is the only advice we can really give.
Did you ever learn to drive a car? What was the first time like? Were yo nervous? Did it feel weird? Were you super conscious of every car that came near you and almost felt panicy as to what to do?

I did!

But to learn you just go and drive and drive and drive. Until it becomes natural.
So if just saying Hi to a stranger is a sticking point right now. Don't get bogged down on actually bedding women on the street or something. Just say Hi over and over, even if you walk away immediately... it eventually becomes normal... and set that as your first success goal.
After that just ramp it up a little, next goal is to give a compliment, next goal is to keep a 2 minute conversation going.

You can only do it over and over until it feel natural.

 

[Mr.Rob]

Money I hope you realize I'm not picking on you but simply trying to give a little insight.

Estate and Eymanitoba are both correct in that it's something you have to sack up and do over and over again. There is no real way to step around approach anxiety you simply have to face it head on.

As far as saying "hi" goes can you say hi to and old lady?
Can you say hi to a clerk behind the counter?
Can you say hi to a fat girl?
Can you say hi to a girl that's not ugly but you don't find attractive?

At what point exactly can't you say hi?

You have to pinpoint exactly where you are, accept where you are without judging yourself, and then do the next thing out of your comfort zone.

So if you can say hi to an old lady shopping then try and push your comfort zone by saying hi to a fat girl.

Theres no shame in starting from there and not being able to talk to the 10's yet. You got start off small at first.

Questions, comments, concerns?

-Rob

 

[MaK]

I felt terrified at first as well.

I started by making a comment to a nice elderly janitor and then to an elderly lady and slowly inched myself to starting a conversation with attractive girls.

From there you just get comfortable enough that you can call them cute within the first few seconds of conversation.

 

[Sub-Zero]

Money I hope you realize I'm not picking on you but simply trying to give a little insight.

Estate and Eymanitoba are both correct in that it's something you have to sack up and do over and over again. There is no real way to step around approach anxiety you simply have to face it head on.

As far as saying "hi" goes can you say hi to and old lady?
Can you say hi to a clerk behind the counter?
Can you say hi to a fat girl?
Can you say hi to a girl that's not ugly but you don't find attractive?

At what point exactly can't you say hi?

You have to pinpoint exactly where you are, accept where you are without judging yourself, and then do the next thing out of your comfort zone.

So if you can say hi to an old lady shopping then try and push your comfort zone by saying hi to a fat girl.

Theres no shame in starting from there and not being able to talk to the 10's yet. You got start off small at first.

Questions, comments, concerns?

-Rob

Yeah i know. I just wanted to let everyone know im not complaining about not getting answers. I just thought Noone wanted to answer because they didn't feel skilled enough. Thanks.

 

[Sub-Zero]

Thanks guys.

 

[Richard]

Money,

Daygame is the most fun thing you will experience in pick-up and ironically enough I find myself, even now, relating to your post because I'm currently going through some social anxiety again and I find myself having to combat fear as well. However, my problem is not with daygame but with socializing in general and building friendships - I'm still afraid of embarrassment and negative criticism. I'm taking steps to confront that bullshit though.

With daygame, it's really a matter of forcing yourself to do it. The reason people neglect trying something new is because they're afraid of the outcome, afraid of the journey, and afraid of what happens along the journey. If you knew that mastering daygame meant you could sleep with Beyonce or Ariana Grande or some ridiculously hot movie star then you'd pick up your balls and run out the door to start approaching. So, before you start to learn daygame - set a compelling goal for yourself, and make the goal realistic with qualities that you can feel today. Make the goal as realistic as possible.

On top of that, if you feel weird just saying "hi" then change it to something like "hey, how's it going?" In reality though, it'd be better for YOU to just say hi because it makes you feel awkward and it lets you confront that awkwardness. Daygame is mostly about learning to deal with rejection because the first few times a girl turns you down or outright rejects you it feels embarrassing but you get used to it within the span of like 15 approaches. Then everything comes full loop and you realize that there is no harm in being rejected but there is a lot of hidden treasure in pressing forward.

Create that compelling futuristic goal for yourself and start approaching bro.

-Richard

 

[ray_zorse]

Just one tip I've found useful when approach anxiety kicks in: Talk to someone who works in a shop. It doesn't count as genuine approach because they are forced to talk to you and be polite. But this is why it's real low pressure. See if you can get up the nerve to ask them a personal question about themselves...where are they from (lets say they are obviously ethnic or have an accent)...how long have they been working here (this was useful in a shop that had recently opened cos I could then ask what they did before)...do they have kids (this was useful in a baby clothes shop)...etc...or if its night time go to a bar and chat with serving chick or even guy...if u can get a bit of flirtation going then this will warm u up for the real approaches.

If all else fails just aim to practice your conversation or body language fundamentals and put off the approaches for another day. It took me a month of this to get more OK with approaching and I think even the experts on this board have experienced this too.

cheers, Ray