How to Stop Comparison?

[Smurf]

Hey guys, I have this really weird sticking point right now.

All of my friends are naturals. It's almost retarded, no joke, I'm kinda' blessed. All except for one of them is natural.

To give some insight to this, my friends can go into a club and girls will come to them. Dance on them without them doing a thing. That's their base looks. The best natural I know, who's a good friend now, I may have mentioned him as "Charismatic" in my journal, is at a lay count of 35, he's a year older than me, and 5 of those were in the last week. He's ridiculous.

Anyways, I know that being around these guys will only elevate my game, and make me better, but it's getting really frustrating now, and here's why.

Earlier this year I was progressing well. I had good mindsets, my body is on point and getting better, and I was getting good results. I don't know what changed in the last two months, but I haven't been able to even hook in daygame when I was before. I've gotten one number, and that flaked. I'm not sure what's happening right now, but I feel like I'm regressing back.

I decided this was a sticking point, and tried to challenge myself to go out everyday for a month. Within a week, I had quit because it seemed my game had gotten even worse by making that decision.

This has led me to go back to old mindsets and one of the worst of those is comparing myself to my natural friends. I've compared myself and it makes me feel shitty because it seems like they improve without even trying to, when I'm working hard to improve myself and just spinning my wheels and moving backwards. I hate jealousy, it's one of my weakest traits and I'd like to get rid of it as fast as possible.

So now I feel like I've been pushed back a few stairs on the staircase and I have a few choices, but I'm not sure what to do. Should I stay with my friends and challenge my mindsets while going out consistently until this slump is over? Should I cut my friends off and continue to approach to solidify my own resolve and regain my mentalities I had before? I'm not sure of what to do, and I could use some advice so I continue to improve at a good rate again.

Jake.

 

[Byron]

I'm not super qualified to answer this but the way I see it is
In the short term, if you stay with your friends they will outshine you. This will probably lead to fewer lays currently and lots more frustration. So, if you have a chance, you should find a way to game without them constantly there. I would be wary of abandoning them altogether.

Because the single best way to improve is to analyze what works for others and adapt it for yourself.

So try to game both with and without them. Get your lay count up when you aren't with them, and focus on getting your mindset locked in. When you are with them, watch them closely and when you get closer and closer to where they are, start competing with them. I can almost guarantee that when you can outcompete them, all these bad current feelings will seem worth it and you will feel like a god.

But in the meantime make time to go out on your own, or find some wingmen at about your speed.
The main advantage you will have over naturals is continuous, conscious, and obsessive improvement.
Go get em
byron

Also if you decide the problem is something in your game rather than mindset and insecurity about friends (which I completely understand), it might be helpful to take a week or a few days just to analyze and meditate, and give yourself time to recharge and re-motivate.

 

[Lotus]

Have you tried talking to them about it? They may not be able to describe it but they might have noticed a change in your vibe that has influenced your game

 

[Sophisticated Gent]

Jake,

This my not be a great analogy but my best friend is a semi-pro bowler. Ever since we were kids he kicked by butt. I never let this keep me from having fun bowling. There are people who have been born with natural abilities and with practice they are awesome. Your game may not be up to his but this doesn't mean you shouldn't have fun playing. Just relax. We all go through slumps. Even the top notch pro athletes do. Work on your fundamentals and what ever is causing the problem will get corrected.

BDSC

 

[Raqimus]

Nah don't ditch your friends because they are better than you right now. ME pesonally I will acknowledge that such and such is better than me at X but since he is better than me right now at X it only means I can become better at X.

One of my best friends is semi-natural like myself. He would get more results though due to his attitude plus he was a pretty big guy. Hehehe its funny I helped him get his game up and he out shined me hard. Yes I was jealous a bit but then i realized thats my friend, so what is he doing right now that I'm not doing. What can i do better than him.. its like comparing but not putting yourself down when doing so. Naturally we talk about game and stuff, and he can say oh your doing x thing and I'm like really didn't notice, and we pick apart what we both are doing and incorporate bits from each other and use it.

Since your friend seems to be on a higher level, you can't really pick apart his game but he can probably pick apart yours really well. Look for parts of his personality that seems to attract the women and find that in yourself.

I don't know if im describing this in a way that helps. Good luck tho jake, dont let it get you down.

 

[Smurf]

Thanks guys for all the advice!

It was honestly a rough weekend that had me in my feelings lol. Thanks to your responses and a little thinking time and meditation I can think a little clearer. Definitely not gonna stop approaching though

Jake.

 

[Byron]

I'm having this now too, I've made friends with this guy who consistently outcompetes me for girls, in direct competition. It hurts the ego.