How to Stop Feeling Desperate When I Don't Get a Instant Reply

[Jack Swave]

I'm texting girls who will reply to me but I always feel nervous texting. If I send out a text at 12:00pm and don't get a reply by 12:05pm I start to freak out. I never felt like I cared for myself and I never felt like anyone cared for me.

When the girls do reply I feel relieved for a second then as soon as I send off the next text I get nervous again. This continues throughout the entire conversation. People don't really listen to me so I'm always afraid of the rejection. What if they don't reply or like me? So I think.

Please can I get advice other than get abundance mindset because I don't think that will work. I have a lot of numbers and nothing to show for it. People don't reciprocate interest. How do I stop feeling insecure and nervous when a girl takes a while to reply to me? Maybe she is busy but I still get the feeling I'm being ignored until they do reply.

Bubinile

 

[Franco]

Bubinile,

People don't really listen to me so I'm always afraid of the rejection. What if they don't reply or like me? So I think.

The first thing to understand about texting is that girls often take minutes and/or hours to respond to texts. This is a very normal, average thing for the average girl to do. While there will be exceptions (like the girl who texts super frequently or the girl who texts back 3 days later), the majority of girls respond to texts spontaneously over the course of a single day. You need to accept this fact first if you're going to make any headway with changing your mindset about texting and replying to people.

Once you've internalized this information, there are a few practical methods you can use to prevent yourself from feeling the anxiety that comes with texting women. The first method you can use is only send texts to girls right before you're about to do/start a new activity, and then put your phone away and don't check again until you complete that new activity. For example, let's say you get a text from Sarah. As you read that text, you remember that you were about to go grocery shopping in about 20 minutes. Don't respond to the text until right before you go grocery shopping.

Once you respond, immediately put your phone away and go to the grocery store. This will prevent you from getting the anxiety of checking your phone every 5 minutes to see if Sarah has responded. Once you get back, you are allowed to check your phone. If she hasn't responded, no big deal. Think about what your next activity is going to be, and once you engage in that, repeat the process. Do this for every girl you are talking to at the time, and it will help draw your mind away from your phone during times where your thoughts should be focused elsewhere anyway. Eventually, you get to a point where you forget that you were waiting for a text from said girl, and then she'll have responded once or twice already and you'll have already waited an ample enough time in between texts to respond.

The second practical method I like to call the "Silent Phone Treatment." For the silent phone treatment, the trick here is to ALWAYS have your phone on silent! That means no ringing, and no vibrating (especially for text messages). What this does is prevent you from constantly checking your phone every time it rings or vibrates (for one reason or another -- I find that most of my notifications these days are for apps and not text messages), so you tend to fade out that "anxiety" you get every time you get a notification on your phone and you get the "itch" to check it (as well as the nervousness of wondering whether or not it's her or something else).

Of course, you may be obligated to have your ringer on occasionally if you're waiting for an important text or call. This is fine. The other option is to give specific ring tones to important numbers, and then give "silent" ringtones to anyone else. That way you know you won't miss important phone calls.

If you need more of a mindset change and advice on texting women, I would highly recommend listening to my podcast that goes in-depth about texting and how women think when it comes to texting:

• GirlsChase Podcast Interviews Ep. 2: Franco

- Franco