How To Tell A Girl To Get STD Tested?

[Mr.Rob]

I'm going to Las Vegas in a few months and I'll be accompanied with a girl I used to date casually years ago that I've since kept in touch with. She's bisexual and is actually into seduction too so we're planning to go pickup girls together to pull 3-somes, so we should be in for a fun time.

The problem is that she has a HIGH partner count and admitted that she'll be acting in a few porn flicks between now and then, so there's a good chance she may have an STD or two.

I typically wouldn't go to such heroic lengths to get a girl STD tested for a one week fling BUT, and that's a BIG "but", due to a serious autoimmune disease I've had over the past 2-3 years (that I've almost put into remission) if I were to pickup a new virus or pathogen (STD) of any significance I could very well reawaken my disease I'm working so hard to overcome. So it would be seriously foolish and self-destructive to just hope she's clean and risk picking up an STD.

I will use condoms and protective sex measures and the only diseases that I truly need to avoid are skin based virus's (herpes, HPV, and syphilis).

I've never had to request a girl get STD tested and I imagine a loaded topic as such need be handled with poise and "not a big deal". I have a good idea how I plan to go about this conversation but was curious to have you guys weigh in on what angle you'd take.

So how would you guys go about the conversation of requesting a girl get STD tested? Also is this demanding too much considering we're not dating and this is a brief vacation fling?

*Note:
-She is currently unaware of my immunocompromised disease (I'll likely need to give her context of this)

Thanks for weighing in
-Rob

 

[Regal Tiger]

Well, first off, your situation is most definitely different than mine. But I have had a few of these conversstions and I’ve never had a problem. Though the girls I ask we were at least dating, but hee’s my advice:


Before the actual conversation get your ducks in a row. There are lots of places that will test you for free, or cheap. Offer to pay for it for her if she does this for you as well. In addition, if she wants to do porn this may be an easy in for the actual conversation

Guide the conversation towards how excited she is about the adventure. Also ask about her general plans and what she wants to have happen, and etc.

Once she seems excited bring up the porn stuff. Ask about how often she gets tested and what that’s like with her porn. Then ask some general questions that are more fun (like in Chase’s deep dive you can ease up the pressure to make it seem less like you have an agenda if you feel too stressed about it). If you feel confident enough to just go into then tell her:

Bring up the fact that you want to get tested before the trip and that if you guys are going to be a team then you would like ger to get tested as well. Then after that, depending on the conversational flow you can even bring up your concerns


My conversations about it always do come back to being a team and that’s how I like to frame it. But you have a better reason for it. In addition, because of her porn thing you can even frame it as a way to help her get ready for that process (because as a pornstar she will need to get tested a lot). This way, not only is she looking out for your health, and hers, but you’re helping her ease into the process. Assuming of course thag she already doesn’t get tested a whole bunch. This would allow you to lead and her to follow and trust in you more while helping each other

That’s the frame I would aim for

 

[Cacc]

Why go through all that hassle?

Tell her, "baby go get that couchie checked! Daddy wants that ass but ya needa be clean nom sayin'?" 60% of the time works everytime.

Although, if she's doing porn they do require people get tested.

Regal my nigga I hope you checked out that motherfucking book trust me bro thats somw rea good shit right there.

 

[Mr.Rob]

Before the actual conversation get your ducks in a row. There are lots of places that will test you for free, or cheap. Offer to pay for it for her if she does this for you as well. In addition, if she wants to do porn this may be an easy in for the actual conversation

Ya good note here. I found an online company that ships STD tests straight to your door and you mail them back. I think the easier it is for her to comply the more likely she'll be to actually do it.

My conversations about it always do come back to being a team and that’s how I like to frame it. But you have a better reason for it. In addition, because of her porn thing you can even frame it as a way to help her get ready for that process (because as a pornstar she will need to get tested a lot). This way, not only is she looking out for your health, and hers, but you’re helping her ease into the process. Assuming of course thag she already doesn’t get tested a whole bunch. This would allow you to lead and her to follow and trust in you more while helping each other

The team frame is a good way to frame things though my go-to was to basically tell her I got some recent bloodwork back that didn't come back well saying I need to be very careful of exposing myself to anything that could put my health at risk (give her a brief context of my illness) and it would be best for both of us if we got tested before going to Vegas. Do you see anything wrong with this direct take? (Tho I kinda hate to admit my disease to her as its kinda a lot to take in for someone who's not a core part of my life [i.e. its not something she needs to know])

I think as long as I don't make a big deal out of it it should be fine and give her context to not feel like a slut for my request but more so something that just needs to happen b4 we go on the trip.

Tell her, "baby go get that couchie checked! Daddy wants that ass but ya needa be clean nom sayin'?" 60% of the time works everytime.

That's actually more my style, albeit your odds are not reassuring lol.

Why go through all that hassle?

Its just different styles of game. Regal's more leading into a loaded convo and making a more seamless natural transition whereas your more direct and leave the ball in her court to comply or not... though perhaps he has better odds eh? lol

-Rob

 

[Cacc]

Its just different styles of game. Regal's more leading into a loaded convo and making a more seamless natural transition whereas your more direct and leave the ball in her court to comply or not... though perhaps he has better odds eh? lol

Do you agree that women respect unapologetically direct men?

Do you agree that women are more willing to comply when you don't make a big deal about it?

Do you agree that if a woman values you, she'll do something for you to get something better out of it(3somes) without having to pussyfoot?

You can always soften the blow after if she gets the wrong idea.

Just my 2 cents though... Ovbiously do what you feel is best.

 

[Mr.Rob]

Cacc,

Hey relax there big dawg there's more than one way to skin a cat G ;O

Me personally my style is more direct and I was already leaning toward a more overt addressing of the topic and deal with any flak should it arise. That being said Regal's way can also be equally effective and will likely yield better receptions for those who'd prefer to skip the confrontational element of a more direct route.

To each their own.

 

[Cacc]

so you believe crafting an elaborate plan to tell a girl to do something for you and being careful not to step on her toes works aswell as being honest and to the point?...

Hey relax there

you dont have any authority here; dont social police me. goodluck to you sir

 

[Regal Tiger]

The reason that I'm advocating more of a team frame over a direct frame is because this woman isn't really a part of his life (also still say that you should bring up the blood work thing). If I'm dating someone for a few months then it's helluva lot easier to just say "hey babe, let's make a new relationship rule to protect our health and get tested two to three times a year".

Of course, the funny part is, is that I'm usually behind the women. "I just got tested, here's my paperwork if you wanna see it".


And yes, you don't have to pussyfoot around it. You can still be direct even with my way. You just get curious, one thing leads to another and oh! Almost forgot, that reminds me that I need to get tested because of my blood-work and I would like for you to come with me because of xyz. Hell, you don't even need to tell her about the blood stuff if you don't want to.

Just follow the same thing and that you want to know that you're being safe before your trip so you don't fuck up other people's lives or to stay safe or whatever other justification you wanna put in there. Could even say that it's become a part of your life to get yourself checked out every once in a while, more so because of this big trip.

Do agree with the above advice though, it's never a big deal. Ever. For any reason.

 

[Mr.Rob]

And yes, you don't have to pussyfoot around it. You can still be direct even with my way.

Ya totally agree your way is totally viable way of going about this situation.

I think whether you go more direct or natural the key is to treat the topic as not a big deal and she'll follow your lead if she's on your team as Cacc pointed out. Yeah this has been a helpful thread just to kinda mentally get my thoughts out a bit, as its been a while since I've dusted off my pimp skills.

@Cacc,

so you believe crafting an elaborate plan to tell a girl to do something for you and being careful not to step on her toes works aswell as being honest and to the point?...

It depends man. Seduction and communication in general are pretty subjective subjects no? What works best for one guys style may work terribly with another guys style (think Alek's sex talk (direct) vs. Chase's "chase framing" (indirect innuendos)). At the end of the day though the most effective strategy in any situation is whats most congruent to one's style of game/communication. If that means Cacc gets better results telling it like it is and handling any flak thrown your way cause your an alpha guy that women submit easily to and Regal gets better results taking a more relaxed and natural broaching of conversation topics in a way where she doesn't even realize whats hit her since she's just enjoying the vibe who's really to say one's better than the other.

Cheers Gents,
-Rob

 

[Regal Tiger]

No prob, Rob. I find it a great thing to just get your thoughts out there as well and glad to help!

 

[Regal Tiger]

Updates?

 

[Mr.Rob]

Eh unfortunately some life events came up so gotta push the trip back till Sep/Oct. so no need to bring up the topic till then

What about you Regal? Any updates on the case for probation?

 

[Regal Tiger]

That stinks :/

Nothing new to report. Have my interview this upcoming Thursday