How to cut off a flaky friend from your life

[Ree]

I had a cool friend,and we used to hang out a lot,
it reached a point when they started blueticking me,and not returning calls,
this in itself isnt such a big problem because I could just delete their number and move on.which i did,problem is out of the blue they would call again,or shooot a text months later aksing how i am doing,
this puts me in a very hard position,I cannot just bring myself to play games like,"you took a month to reply,so I will take a month to reply too",I reply,only for them to dissapear again.
It really makes me feel low value,I feel like telling them "dont ever text me again" is harsh,and i feel like ignoring them is petty,yet condoning them makes me feel low value.
what is a smooth firm non bitter way to say,"hey dont ever contact me again"
at this point im way past the point of trying to tell them to change,because they usually apolgise profusely only to do the same shit.

 

[Skills]

people have lives, go into relationships, etc... They are not mentally were you are at the time... I have accidentally cut out a lot one of my best friends, is not personal, is just people are busy, and change stages and priorities...

My advise to you is, don't take it personal... Or have a talk "dude what is going on" and have a talk, one of the main skills you could learn is the ability to allow people to open up to you freely...

i used to get mad with female friends, when they went into relationships, they would kind of cut me off, then when the relationship was over looking for me for friendships.... Now i understand is just how it is the dynamics...

 

[Ree]

dude ur probably right

 

[DarkKnight]

No Ree you have a point as well.. Some guys can be extremely opportunistic. A friend of mine always seems to forget us the moment he gets into a relationship ... It's opportunistic behavior which makes me opportunistic as well. It also has to do with self respect, you are right to get irked. Doesn't mean you have to blow up or anything but be pragmatic about it and just be selfish. Not returning calls to a good friend is btw shitty behavior.

 

[Ree]

No Ree you have a point as well.. Some guys can be extremely opportunistic. A friend of mine always seems to forget us the moment he gets into a relationship ... It's opportunistic behavior which makes me opportunistic as well. It also has to do with self respect, you are right to get irked. Doesn't mean you have to blow up or anything but be pragmatic about it and just be selfish. Not returning calls to a good friend is btw shitty behavior.

interesting,actually i have more and more been thinking that if a friend cannot treat me how i want to be treated maybe i should just verbalise that we should stop communication

 

[PalmaSailor]

This is one of those things that over life you see a lot of.

Male friendships are not the same as female ones. Men are different and the friendship should more or less be equal. Ie you both get something from it.

As a man your value should be rising as you get older. Because of this some of your friends will resent you and the relationship will become one sided. Ie they only message when they want something. And that may just be conversation etc.

You need to cut this guy out. Either don’t respond to him and ignore his calls or block him.
It sounds ruthless but you will become the average of the 5 people you hang out with. Choose those people with care.

I’m 53, and I’ve had a clear out of friends about every 10 years. You move on from them. One or two friends are up in the 20+ year category but that’s it.

 

[Ree]

This is one of those things that over life you see a lot of.

Male friendships are not the same as female ones. Men are different and the friendship should more or less be equal. Ie you both get something from it.

As a man your value should be rising as you get older. Because of this some of your friends will resent you and the relationship will become one sided. Ie they only message when they want something. And that may just be conversation etc.

You need to cut this guy out. Either don’t respond to him and ignore his calls or block him.
It sounds ruthless but you will become the average of the 5 people you hang out with. Choose those people with care.

I’m 53, and I’ve had a clear out of friends about every 10 years. You move on from them. One or two friends are up in the 20+ year category but that’s it.

this resonates a lot with me,thanks

 

[PalmaSailor]

this resonates a lot with me,thanks

The point is that it’s taking up your bandwidth. And so your subconscious knows it’s wrong but you’re trying to be a decent guy about it. But your subconscious is telling you it’s wrong.

you’ve enough to achieve - getting your business life straight and where you want it.

getting your women straight and where you want them is a second priority.

friends should be straight. There’s not enough time for all that shit.