How would you respond to a text like this?

[RDawg]

Hey guys, what's going on??? So I was trying to set up a date/ night to fuck this girl. I actually met this girl a week and a half go and I fucked her the night I met her. I decided I want to continue on with this girl just for a few "fucks" or FWB type thing. Anyways, my "question" here is how she responded to one of my texts below. Now, i have had girls respond to me like this before and i'm not sure what the proper way to handle it is and if I handled it right? The text that I am referring to is the one in bold.

(Friday)
Me: Hey Hot tub girl, what's going on? 9:56Pm
Her: Hey chillen, with a friend in XYZ. She just got a house so we're taking wallpaper down haha you? 10:44PM
Me: Nice, sounds like a fun Friday night! Just finished relaxing in the hot tub . What are you up to this weekend? 11:22PM
Her: haha early night, just got home. Ah the hot tub, so nice. Just catching up with some friends this weekend, you? 11:46PM
Me: Just going to my buddy's house for a party tomorrow night. How does a hot tub night sound soon? 12:00AM
Her: Sounds good to me haha lemme know when you're free 12:04AM
Me: Awesome! I'll hit you up after the weekend and let you know 12:12AM
Her: Sweet, have a good weekend 12:14AM

(Monday)
Me: Hey hot tub girl, hope you had a good weekend! I'm free most of this week. What's your schedule like? 12:13AM
Her: Hey how's it going? I'm free anytime after Wednesday if you wanna hangout! 12:58PM
Me: Good! How about we shoot for Friday then? 4:13PM
Her: I might be going to my friends in XYZ for the weekend but i'll let you know! 7:48PM
Me: Okay keep my posted 8:42PM
Her: I will 9:13PM

So she agreed to hangout with me and want's to do another hot tub night but when I asked her schedule she said she's free anytime after Wednesday. So I suggested Friday since I might be busy Thursday and then she told me she might be going away. I responded with "okay keep me posted ". Not sure if this is the proper way to handle this or if there is a different way to approach this. I'm not sure if the dynamics would change too much if I hadn't slept with her or not. Anyways, I would like to know how you guys would handle a text like this. It seems like she is keeping her "options" open (she said she was free). Not that I care, it is what is, I would probably do the same lol.

 

[ray_zorse]

Hey bro, a few things that occurred to me reading your post...

The first thing is what you might call "inner game"... in your mind try to cultivate an attitude of respect towards women, remember that although we are using a fair amount of manipulation and subterfuge, the reason we are doing it is because we LOVE women and want to give them what they want... which is an amazing experience with a strong, sexy, dominant, man... (rather than what they may think they want which is likely to be a weak supplicating male who writes love notes and fixes their car and so forth). To see what I mean try reading this article: http://www.seductionscience.com/2012/ge ... chase-you/ it's a perfect example of how NOT to think. Then contrast with Chase's articles... for example the ones on how to plan your relationship / what to expect from a friends with benefits arrangement... note the advice that, for example, when you cannot give her the commitment she needs, let her go... this is respect basically.

Now to specifics, "what's going on" is a boring text and should never be sent. You're on the right track with the nickname (hey hot tub girl) but you could phrase it like this... "hiya [her name]...how's my favourite hot tub girl? " this will be more personalized and less objectifying. The next thing you need is some new information about yourself. So perhaps continue with "it turned into a pretty exciting week this end, reconnected with an old friend / was invited to play in a basketball game / saw that film i've been dying to see / discovered an amazing new eatery / witnessed a bank robbery / etc.. (you get the idea)...how about your week?" and optionally add something like "you had that important meeting / massage / flower viewing / drinks night / whatever that you mentioned?" or something like that.. so you're still asking her what's going on, but in a more detailed way that makes it easier for her to respond and doesn't require her to lead the conversation. Also, if you didn't already you should have texted her the next day after sex with some kind message to the effect it was great to be able to spend some time getting to know her and that she's a sexy little nymph or similar.

Also in your text you sound like a bit of a party animal, and that when you're not actively partying you're taking it easy / chilling, well I don't know this girl but in general this would be the wrong vibe, you need to sound like you are busy all week with important matters and if the time is right you MIGHT be persuaded to loosen up and have a few drinks with a mate but only if it's a special occasion like a birthday or whatever. So after her wallpaper message you might have said "oh cool, you're a handyman too? that will be helpful when my hot tub breaks down... i'm just winding down for now, been a long day & need to be in good shape for tomorrow... good to hear all is well. txt me when u free". (A rapport building text including a polite dismissal so you don't end up in a text convo -- it doesn't have the aim of locking in a date -- if you are going to do that then you need to be direct about it and not beat around the bush with pleasantries first).

Getting her to text you is also a compliance request, well she probably won't comply but it can't hurt to try. I think it's better to do this than commit to making the next move, especially if you then text her at the appointed time it looks like you've been thinking about her all that time in between.

As to the Monday text you firstly need to mix up the nicknames a bit, I wouldn't bother with one unless something new has happened in the meantime to tease her about, also you definitely don't want to state your availability right off the bat, especially in a way that sounds like you don't have much to do with your time, this sounds like chasing. So you might say "hi [her name]...just realized I haven't seen you in a bit, let's do something this week, let me know what suits".

Anyway I'm no expert but this kind of approach has been working OK for me. It's based on Chase's articles on foolproof texting. Others' comments?

cheers, Ray

 

[NarrowJ]

RDawg,

Don't let her hold leverage on you by telling you "I'll let you know", especially if it's a new girl. If it's your girlfriend and things are going well, this can be ok, but if it's a somewhat new girl then you need to nip it in the bud. I'd just reply with something like, "Alright, sounds like you're busy. Let's try to get together another time then, no need for us to hang around in limbo and bug each other."

She'll respond in one of three ways:

1) "I'm sorry! Tonight's fine. See you soon" (this is good- she's clearing her schedule for you)
2) "Okay, how about [other day/Thurs/Sun/Tues/etcetera]" (this is decent, but you're not her #1 priority)
3) Radio silence or she gets pissy about it (this is bad, she's auto-rejecting)

So you have to force her hand. Don't let her just sit there and be like, "It's so great that RDawg is being a good little boy and sitting around waiting to see if he can entertain me this weekend! He's such a nice guy..."


Cheers brother!
J.J.

 

[PinotNoir]

Hey NJ, I really like that.

I've got a similar situation. I did not invite this girl to come see me this weekend (out of city). But, randomly, she sent me a text saying that she may come see me this weekend to go hiking for a day a trip (i.e., she would like to come into town and see me). I said that'd be cool and asked her about when she's planning on coming in, and told her if she needs a place to crash she can either with me or we can go camping for a night. She said that she's not sure whether or not she'll be coming.

In this case, do I just let it hang or say something like you said?

For now, I just left it hanging and said, "Okay, that's cool, just let me know" like RDawg.

However, it's a little bit different because I didn't invite her initially.

 

[RDawg]

Ray

Thanks for the input!

- NJ

RDawg,

Don't let her hold leverage on you by telling you "I'll let you know", especially if it's a new girl. If it's your girlfriend and things are going well, this can be ok, but if it's a somewhat new girl then you need to nip it in the bud. I'd just reply with something like, "Alright, sounds like you're busy. Let's try to get together another time then, no need for us to hang around in limbo and bug each other."

She'll respond in one of three ways:

1) "I'm sorry! Tonight's fine. See you soon" (this is good- she's clearing her schedule for you)
2) "Okay, how about [other day/Thurs/Sun/Tues/etcetera]" (this is decent, but you're not her #1 priority)
3) Radio silence or she gets pissy about it (this is bad, she's auto-rejecting)

So you have to force her hand. Don't let her just sit there and be like, "It's so great that RDawg is being a good little boy and sitting around waiting to see if he can entertain me this weekend! He's such a nice guy..."


Cheers brother!
J.J.

I appreciate the advice and I'm glad you responded to my post! I see your approach and I definitely see where your coming from with the whole "nice guy" thing. Actually, I think I read one of your lay reports, and you responded with a similar line you mentioned above and the girl ended up chasing after you or something. I believe the lay report was HB Rocker Chick if I am correct? Anyways, the way I was looking at it when I said, "okay keep me posted", was that i'll make other plans in the mean time and if I do make plans (e.g. with another girl for Friday), i'll just cancel/flake on the date with hot tub girl and then set-up another night with her if possible (if she agrees to hangout). If she does happen to "want" to hangout and my options aren't that great for Friday night, then possibly ill hangout with her. Lastly, if she does happen to go away and can't hangout i'll just have something else planned instead. However, that was my approach to this situation (just wanted to share that) but I actually like yours a lot (especially how you frame it, "not being the nice guy type thing and forcing her hand") and I will use that next time Thanks again NJ!

Cheers

- Rdawg

PinotNoir

Hey NJ, I really like that.

I've got a similar situation. I did not invite this girl to come see me this weekend (out of city). But, randomly, she sent me a text saying that she may come see me this weekend to go hiking for a day a trip (i.e., she would like to come into town and see me). I said that'd be cool and asked her about when she's planning on coming in, and told her if she needs a place to crash she can either with me or we can go camping for a night. She said that she's not sure whether or not she'll be coming.

In this case, do I just let it hang or say something like you said?

For now, I just left it hanging and said, "Okay, that's cool, just let me know" like RDawg.

However, it's a little bit different because I didn't invite her initially.

I noticed your question is directed toward NJ. I just thought I would throw my 2 cents in and say that I would probably just keep my options open and if she comes, she comes, if she doesn't, she doesn't. You never directly invited her, so it's not a big deal in my opinion at least.

Cheers
- Rdawg

 

[Chase]

Hmm, it's an interesting one.

In this case, I would actually say we can actually go a little nicer than this:

Don't let her hold leverage on you by telling you "I'll let you know", especially if it's a new girl. If it's your girlfriend and things are going well, this can be ok, but if it's a somewhat new girl then you need to nip it in the bud. I'd just reply with something like, "Alright, sounds like you're busy. Let's try to get together another time then, no need for us to hang around in limbo and bug each other."

... because in this case RDawg already made her wait over the weekend for him when she sounded like she was already ready whenever as of Friday night "Sounds good to me haha lemme know when you're free" (minor face slap on that part - RDawg, you probably should've just invited her over after she got done taking the wallpaper down to "unwind" with some hot water and a nice massage + cock, since you're still working on converting her to a casual relationship; she wanted it).

So then RDawg waits until Monday (probably with this girl sitting around waiting for his text all weekend), and then she sent an enthusiastic reply saying any time after Wednesday, but then possibly won't be there for the weekend in response to the next text.

She's being quite nice here, and is quite excited; we want to negotiate with her rather than tell her to get in line.

I'd reply like this:

• RDawg: Hey hot tub girl, hope you had a good weekend! I'm free most of this week. What's your schedule like? 12:13AM
  Her: Hey how's it going? I'm free anytime after Wednesday if you wanna hangout! 12:58PM
  RDawg: Good! How about we shoot for Friday then? 4:13PM
  Her: I might be going to my friends in XYZ for the weekend but i'll let you know! 7:48PM
  RDawg: Hmm, okay. Then what's the deal Wednesday - what's on your schedule and do you finish it up early? I've got XYZ unbreakable commitment Thursday night.

... or, even better, just move your Thursday plans and see this girl then. She's eager, it's already been put off, if you want to convert her it's better to strike while she's still hot for it. She seems like she's really working with you to try to get your cock in her; so, work with her, and get it in!

Chase

 

[NarrowJ]

Hey Chase,

Bet you noticed where that advice came from haha

Anyway, this:

So then RDawg waits until Monday (probably with this girl sitting around waiting for his text all weekend), and then she sent an enthusiastic reply saying any time after Wednesday, but then possibly won't be there for the weekend in response to the next text.

She's being quite nice here, and is quite excited; we want to negotiate with her rather than tell her to get in line.

Interesting, as these little shifts in behavior and fine lines in context are things I have been trying focus more on lately. Example: I met a MILF while car shopping last weekend, and she had sent me a few fairly vague texts that seemed to be inviting me straight over to her house. I thought, "Hmmm!", but then reasoned to myself that women rarely do this so I went ahead and scheduled something with her at a local coffee shop. I then got a confused response from her- "Uh really? Let's just do wine and a movie instead. I'll make dinner."- and then suddenly instead of being sexy and dominant and ready to come over and throw her down on her bed and flog her, now she's leading me and I'm just this widdle biddy, cute and cuddly guy. Anyhoo, I guess these are things that just come with a lot of experience!


J.J.

 

[RDawg]

Chase

... because in this case RDawg already made her wait over the weekend for him when she sounded like she was already ready whenever as of Friday night "Sounds good to me haha lemme know when you're free" (minor face slap on that part - RDawg, you probably should've just invited her over after she got done taking the wallpaper down to "unwind" with some hot water and a nice massage + cock, since you're still working on converting her to a casual relationship; she wanted it).

So then RDawg waits until Monday (probably with this girl sitting around waiting for his text all weekend), and then she sent an enthusiastic reply saying any time after Wednesday, but then possibly won't be there for the weekend in response to the next text.

She's being quite nice here, and is quite excited; we want to negotiate with her rather than tell her to get in line.

I'd reply like this:

• RDawg: Hey hot tub girl, hope you had a good weekend! I'm free most of this week. What's your schedule like? 12:13AM
  Her: Hey how's it going? I'm free anytime after Wednesday if you wanna hangout! 12:58PM
  RDawg: Good! How about we shoot for Friday then? 4:13PM
  Her: I might be going to my friends in XYZ for the weekend but i'll let you know! 7:48PM
  RDawg: Hmm, okay. Then what's the deal Wednesday - what's on your schedule and do you finish it up early? I've got XYZ unbreakable commitment Thursday night.

... or, even better, just move your Thursday plans and see this girl then. She's eager, it's already been put off, if you want to convert her it's better to strike while she's still hot for it. She seems like she's really working with you to try to get your cock in her; so, work with her, and get it in!

Chase

Thanks for the advice! Much appreciated! Funny thing is, when I texted her Friday night, my intentions were to ask her to hangout that night. I guess my conscience told me not too, as I didn't want to seem desperate trying to get this girl over, since it was so last minute. But I guess I deserve a "big slap" for that one lol. Anyways, interesting concept with the "negotiating", it's always nice to learn something new everyday. Also, never thought about moving my Thursday plans, which I actually could of moved. Lastly, i'll definitely try and work with her and make something happen

Thanks,
All the best!

- Rdawg

 

[Chase]

@ NJ-

Interesting, as these little shifts in behavior and fine lines in context are things I have been trying focus more on lately. Example: I met a MILF while car shopping last weekend, and she had sent me a few fairly vague texts that seemed to be inviting me straight over to her house. I thought, "Hmmm!", but then reasoned to myself that women rarely do this so I went ahead and scheduled something with her at a local coffee shop. I then got a confused response from her- "Uh really? Let's just do wine and a movie instead. I'll make dinner."- and then suddenly instead of being sexy and dominant and ready to come over and throw her down on her bed and flog her, now she's leading me and I'm just this widdle biddy, cute and cuddly guy. Anyhoo, I guess these are things that just come with a lot of experience!


J.J.

It's actually not that uncommon, especially with lonely women... girls who just broke up with a boyfriend or husband; foreign girls who don't have many friends; older women who don't meet a lot of new people. You might only have talked to them a few minutes, and then the next time you text they're hinting that the two of you should just get together.

Sometimes that'll be by hinting that one of you should go to the other's place, and sometimes it's just "-sigh- I just don't know what to do, I'm so bored. What should I do this weekend?"

In either case, you need to be on that like Indiana Jones on a treasure hunt.

If you miss these signs, you might not ever realize they're there though, because these girls usually won't vanish if this early escalation window gets missed... they'll just hang around and tolerate you moving a little more slowly with them, because they still want you and just think you're a knucklehead who can't read their text signals.

@ RDawg-

Funny thing is, when I texted her Friday night, my intentions were to ask her to hangout that night. I guess my conscience told me not too, as I didn't want to seem desperate trying to get this girl over, since it was so last minute.

Sure. Thing is, if she SEEMS like she wants it, dropping the "I'd better make sure I look cool and not too interested" act is super refreshing for her and really heats things up between you. Then it becomes this really passionate "I text you when I want you and it's cool because you want me too" kind of thing.

If she's the sort who'll go, "Oh, he seems so eager for it from me, lol," and then start playing power games, she's not really all that into you in the first place (and is more interested in control than fun and passion).

(Of course, if she seems cold / manipulative / game-playing and you still want to keep her around, just be mindful of that and go the extra mile to keep your texting super non-needy, non-"I want you now"-ish. But for normal girls doing things fast and not waiting around for appearance's sake is generally fine and good)

Also, never thought about moving my Thursday plans, which I actually could of moved.

Yep. Especially when it comes to sleeping with a new girl that you like or converting one into a girlfriend or partner of some sort or another, very helpful if you can move things around a bit on your schedule. She doesn't even need to know you did it; just do it and don't tell her.

Don't do it if it horribly inconveniences you, of course (you'll be pissed if you do and she cancels or doesn't show; also puts more pressure on the whole thing to "happen"), but quite useful if it's easy enough to do without messing you up.

Chase

 

[RDawg]

- Chase

Thanks for the advice Chase! Much appreciated! This helps clear a lot of things up, especially when it comes to texting, scheduling a date, interest levels and game-playing.

- Rdawg