- Joined
- Dec 20, 2012
- Messages
- 461
Hey fellas,
I've been thinking about how humor and seduction relate for a while. Recently, a lot of people have told me that I have a great sense of humor, which caught me off guard. I'm not a naturally funny person. It took it was a talent I developed, just like a sexy walk or facial expressions.
I know the prevailing attitude here is making girls laugh means nothing. I think the truth is a little more subtle than that. I'm going to try my best to explain how I feel about humor and seduction.
This post is really going to be wordy, so if you just want the "thesis" its:
I think humor is valuable for seduction, but by no means is it necessary.
In other words, you can't joke your way into a girl's pants. Attraction doesn't come from humor. It comes from your fundamentals. However, humor can facilitate attraction.
Having a sense of humor demonstrates that you are a socially calibrated individual. I believe social calibration is the most important fundamental. Without social calibration you can be the most handsome, richest, most famous man and you still won't seal the deal.
Don't believe me? Let me prove it to you! I'm not sure how many of you remember when James Franco caught flak for talking to that underage girl? If not check here: http://www.buzzfeed.com/lyapalater/did-james-franco-instagram-girl#.kbEwnnG8v8 (apologies for the buzzfeed link).
Yikes. Looks like James Franco needs to reach Chase's articles
. The problem here wasn't that she was underage. She didn't care about that (the boyfriend comment was interesting too). She got sketched out when he started getting awkward. His lack of social calibration created a scandal and put him in an embarrassing situation.
Humor shows that you understand social rules and are confident enough to push the boundaries while not going too far. For example, I recently was talking to a girl and she told me how she liked Gambit from X-men. I made fun of her for liking the guy who has a big stick. She thought it was hilarious and so did everyone around us. It showed I could push the boundaries of socially acceptable sex talk while also implying she liked dudes with big dicks.
This isn't easy to do, especially today. Many comedians are starting to refuse to perform on college campuses because someone always ends up offended. In a world where social boundaries are becoming more constrictive, humor is becoming a dying art.
Socially calibrated men are attractive, and a good sense of humor is one of the best ways to show that you are socially calibrated.
Humor can create rapport. People like being around funny people. Its why good comedians are famous and the class clown always has friends. When you are with a girl, joking with her can make her feel more connected to you and help start your conversation. Deep diving plus humor is very effective. Chase covers this in his chase frame article. Humor builds comfort. If you are trying to create a connection with the girl, humor is one way to do it. If you have a good sense of humor, you can keep a girl around because she's having a good time.
One of the comments on Ricardus's article about making girls laugh means nothing comes from a bisexual chick who disagreed with him. She talked about how her crush was funny and how she was so much more attractive than a lawyer she date who was nice but boring. Humor helped her connect with her crush while the lawyer's intellectual conversation didn't inspire a connection. Humor isn't the only way to craft a bond between people, but it is very powerful.
So why not use humor whenever you can?
Because humor is endearing, but not sexy.
Endearing is defined as: inspiring affection or warm sympathy. The examples of endearing I found online were: "the baby ducklings were endearing" and "the child had an endearing laugh"
Starting to see the problem? Girls like ducklings and children, but they sure as hell don't sleep with them. Using humor can help a girl feel comfortable around you, but humor alone won't make her sleep with you. You have to be sexy.
This is why humor by itself is helpful, but humor and sexiness is dynamite!
Chase frames work well because they combine the two. The humor makes her comfortable enough to discuss sex with you, and the sexual talk gets her thinking about you as a sexy man.
Let's illustrate this with an example. I love Amy Schumer. She's hilarious! She'd be an awesome girl to have...as a friend. And she even talks about sex a lot, but I'm just not attracted to her. She's endearing, but not sexy.
Humor needs to be balanced with sex appeal in order to work. When you can use them both, girls will love it because you can create a connection and you are hot. Its demonstrates that you are a high value individual.
Does humor have a place in seduction? Of course! Is it as important as fundamentals? Not even close.
So don't be afraid to use humor once you have your fundamentals down! Girls will know you are a sexy man who can connect with her. And that is the highway to her heart...and other fun things
I've been thinking about how humor and seduction relate for a while. Recently, a lot of people have told me that I have a great sense of humor, which caught me off guard. I'm not a naturally funny person. It took it was a talent I developed, just like a sexy walk or facial expressions.
I know the prevailing attitude here is making girls laugh means nothing. I think the truth is a little more subtle than that. I'm going to try my best to explain how I feel about humor and seduction.
This post is really going to be wordy, so if you just want the "thesis" its:
I think humor is valuable for seduction, but by no means is it necessary.
In other words, you can't joke your way into a girl's pants. Attraction doesn't come from humor. It comes from your fundamentals. However, humor can facilitate attraction.
Having a sense of humor demonstrates that you are a socially calibrated individual. I believe social calibration is the most important fundamental. Without social calibration you can be the most handsome, richest, most famous man and you still won't seal the deal.
Don't believe me? Let me prove it to you! I'm not sure how many of you remember when James Franco caught flak for talking to that underage girl? If not check here: http://www.buzzfeed.com/lyapalater/did-james-franco-instagram-girl#.kbEwnnG8v8 (apologies for the buzzfeed link).
Yikes. Looks like James Franco needs to reach Chase's articles
. The problem here wasn't that she was underage. She didn't care about that (the boyfriend comment was interesting too). She got sketched out when he started getting awkward. His lack of social calibration created a scandal and put him in an embarrassing situation.Humor shows that you understand social rules and are confident enough to push the boundaries while not going too far. For example, I recently was talking to a girl and she told me how she liked Gambit from X-men. I made fun of her for liking the guy who has a big stick. She thought it was hilarious and so did everyone around us. It showed I could push the boundaries of socially acceptable sex talk while also implying she liked dudes with big dicks.
This isn't easy to do, especially today. Many comedians are starting to refuse to perform on college campuses because someone always ends up offended. In a world where social boundaries are becoming more constrictive, humor is becoming a dying art.
Socially calibrated men are attractive, and a good sense of humor is one of the best ways to show that you are socially calibrated.
Humor can create rapport. People like being around funny people. Its why good comedians are famous and the class clown always has friends. When you are with a girl, joking with her can make her feel more connected to you and help start your conversation. Deep diving plus humor is very effective. Chase covers this in his chase frame article. Humor builds comfort. If you are trying to create a connection with the girl, humor is one way to do it. If you have a good sense of humor, you can keep a girl around because she's having a good time.
One of the comments on Ricardus's article about making girls laugh means nothing comes from a bisexual chick who disagreed with him. She talked about how her crush was funny and how she was so much more attractive than a lawyer she date who was nice but boring. Humor helped her connect with her crush while the lawyer's intellectual conversation didn't inspire a connection. Humor isn't the only way to craft a bond between people, but it is very powerful.
So why not use humor whenever you can?
Because humor is endearing, but not sexy.
Endearing is defined as: inspiring affection or warm sympathy. The examples of endearing I found online were: "the baby ducklings were endearing" and "the child had an endearing laugh"
Starting to see the problem? Girls like ducklings and children, but they sure as hell don't sleep with them. Using humor can help a girl feel comfortable around you, but humor alone won't make her sleep with you. You have to be sexy.
This is why humor by itself is helpful, but humor and sexiness is dynamite!
Chase frames work well because they combine the two. The humor makes her comfortable enough to discuss sex with you, and the sexual talk gets her thinking about you as a sexy man.
Let's illustrate this with an example. I love Amy Schumer. She's hilarious! She'd be an awesome girl to have...as a friend. And she even talks about sex a lot, but I'm just not attracted to her. She's endearing, but not sexy.
Humor needs to be balanced with sex appeal in order to work. When you can use them both, girls will love it because you can create a connection and you are hot. Its demonstrates that you are a high value individual.
Does humor have a place in seduction? Of course! Is it as important as fundamentals? Not even close.
So don't be afraid to use humor once you have your fundamentals down! Girls will know you are a sexy man who can connect with her. And that is the highway to her heart...and other fun things
