Hunter's journal (newbie's assignment)

[hunter]

Hi everyone !

I'm a student, 20 years old and I live somewhere in Europe (English is not my mother language, sorry for the mistakes I can make). At this point of time I have no girlfriend, "had one" when I was around 12-13 years old, which lasted for what, approximately 1 day, don't know if we can count this though. Since then, I didn't kissed a woman, same goes for sex.

I recently met a girl (from school) which I've become to be crazy about, realizing she has a boyfriend (which led me to this website ). I really like her but I have some mixed feeling that tells me there are not a lot of reason to be, at least not at this point, but though, that's hard.

It's been years since I read articles on pick-up, but still, I didn't do much. As time is moving (oh yeah, I'm 20, still no girlfriend, don't even know what it's like to kiss a woman) I decide to do something about it, with the difference this time that I'm writing a journal, which I hope will help me keeping motivated.

At this point I really want that girl, but because of the boyfriend and my inexperience with women, I put my focus on something else (it's hard to fight myself on this), "to get skills" and if I still want her later, being able to get in a relationship with her.

More generally some goals can be that I want to be able to seduce any beautiful women I'm attracted to, I also want to be more respected, and live some other dream(s) that I have/ will have.

I've seen the newbie assignment, which scares me a little I have to say, but anyway let's give a try, will see how far I get.

Day 1 is coming soon, like Monday or Tuesday probably (I finish a little bit late Monday).

Hope to hearing from you soon !

Hunter

 

[hunter]

Day 1 As I said I went downtown to do day 1 assignment which is finding 4 places. I didn't exactly looked for places, I surely wanted to get started and not postpone everytime. The street I'm thinking of has a lot of traffic, that's a good news, otherwise I'm thinking about some shopping malls.

There are also a lot of bar but I am not very comfortable with the idea of going into a bar alone, drinking something alone, just for pick-up, how do you guys manage to do it ? you just step into a bar alone, sit at a table and approach some women ?

As I read some articles early on last week, I've already started to get a better posture and work on eyes contact (not just while I was downtown). I worked on it while I was downtown too and I was surprised that most of the people I've seen on the street either don't look at you or break eye contact really fast. Nevertheless I have found harder to hold eye contact while I was in a closed space like shopping malls, any idea why ?

One guy held my eye contact and it felt kind of awkward, I just didn't know how to react, how to defuse the tension. This is something I have to work on.

One thing that I noticed these days (maybe I just imagined it) but most of the time when I improve my posture, hold eye contact more or less, people tend to "get out of my way" while walking, that's an awesome feeling by the way.



Today was like a mix of the three first day, every assignment is not perfectly completed, should it be before moving on ?

 

[hunter]

I went downtown today with the goal of saying hi to 6 women as written in the newbie assignment, the fact is, I didn't approach any girls.

So many questions were raised while I was downtown, where (in a store, while walking, girls sitting ?) and how to do it ?

Before going downtown or even now, I don't see the difficulty in doing that, but while I was down there and I had to do it, with no one telling me and pushing me to do it, that, is really hard for me now at this point. I was like, seeking the best situation while I just had to say hi to a woman.

I still have to work on eye contact, I think that most of the time I can manage eye contact and hold it, but as soon as someone hold it, either I break it or I hold it, but if I do, it is without smiling to defuse the tension, it really become awkward.

Any input, either motivational or criticism are welcome and encouraged !

 

[nino]

hunter,

When you're just starting out the best advice I can give you is to not over think stuff! You don't necessarily need to think about your fundamentals*, look for any "IOIs" or anything of that regard. For now it's completely enough to just go say "hi" no matter what. A good advice thrown around the interweb is to "calibrate after the fact". This is where your journal comes into play.

Like that's what I did, I went out there and said hi and just by doing it I already felt awkward and would go on to say "hi there" or "hey how are you?" automatically, then write my entry and by reflecting on the events I more often than not found out the solution/the problem myself.

Good luck on your NA and more importantly, have fun!

- nino

*Well, you do want to think about them, e.g get your appearance right before going out. But while out there in the field, let loose.