Special Girl I am interested in shittiest girl alive. What do I do?

[AA10X]

The "special" in the prefix is not in a good way. You know the bad girl steretype, the one that party hards and get crazy drunk on clubs every friday, with a body count higher than the Everest itself? The anti-girlfriend material by excellence. Well, we are talking about that one.

Me and this girl work together for around 6 months. Our relations were terrible for most of this time. She was rude and passive-agressive with me many times, and soon I started to reply in kind. For some time, we were not even saying hello to each other. Well, life is funny. Four weeks ago, we started to smoke together and we kinda bonded. We spent a lot of time talking these last weeks and I realised that I like her more than I should... And I don't really know what to do. This is the kind of girl I approach in the club just for a one night stand, not someone I want to date. Yet, here I am.

My first reaction was to try to get away from her, but is not working. She is confused that I suddenly distanced from her, so she is always finding excuses to go talk to me. She is not dating at the moment, but I know from gossip that she has some fuckbuddies/friends with benefits, most of them with this "bad boy" archtype. I am not a "nice guy", but not a "bad boy" either, so I am pessimistic about trying something.

If someone can share an opinion, I would appreciate a lot!

 

[Teevster]

You are likely not going to listen, but at least let me warn you - she will only get worse, and you will get dragged into something undesirable. I see the signs, they are clear. If you even think of a possibility of her becoming alright or finding a way to make this work, it is your dick talking.

This smells trouble. Nah it stinks.

And I do not blame you - we have all fallen for traps like this. But this also makes us responsible to warn you - and it is your choice wheter or not you want to learn from our mistakes.

End it while it is still "possible" (possible without tons of hassle - the more you dig deep, the harder it will be to get out, - she will find ways to make it very difficult for you to leave - make NO mistake).

When I say END it - this means no regular meeting (preferably none at all). No fucking, not a bunch of texting. Be a good person and tell her face to face, let her speak, and answer the questions she may have to give her closure, then leave.

If you even consider the optino of "I will just keep her as a fuckbuddy" then you are in for a lot of trouble. Not only will it not really work, but she will amp up the manipulation to get you to commit. And chances are, it will likely work.

But you are likely not going to listen to our advice anyway - most men in your situation don't. But at least you know what's coming.

-Teevster

 

[AA10X]

You are likely not going to listen, but at least let me warn you - she will only get worse, and you will get dragged into something undesirable. I see the signs, they are clear. If you even think of a possibility of her becoming alright or finding a way to make this work, it is your dick talking.

This smells trouble. Nah it stinks.

And I do not blame you - we have all fallen for traps like this. But this also makes us responsible to warn you - and it is your choice wheter or not you want to learn from our mistakes.

End it while it is still "possible" (possible without tons of hassle - the more you dig deep, the harder it will be to get out, - she will find ways to make it very difficult for you to leave - make NO mistake).

When I say END it - this means no regular meeting (preferably none at all). No fucking, not a bunch of texting. Be a good person and tell her face to face, let her speak, and answer the questions she may have to give her closure, then leave.

If you even consider the optino of "I will just keep her as a fuckbuddy" then you are in for a lot of trouble. Not only will it not really work, but she will amp up the manipulation to get you to commit. And chances are, it will likely work.

But you are likely not going to listen to our advice anyway - most men in your situation don't. But at least you know what's coming.

-Teevster

I agree 100% with you. My brain at least. My heart and dick disagrees I cannot see this work in any scenario, so I think ending it is the best solution. So far, we have been interacting just as friends, beyond ocasional banter and flirting, so there is not much to be ended. I did not approached her with any intentions, sex or relationship, in the first place, so it was a surprise when I started to like her. The only hard thing will be dealing with her 8 hours per day, 5 days per week, as we work in the same office. I need to find a way to keep my distance.

 

[Teevster]

I did not approached her with any intentions, sex or relationship, in the first place, so it was a surprise when I started to like her. The only hard thing will be dealing with her 8 hours per day, 5 days per week, as we work in the same office. I need to find a way to keep my distance.

This is why you do not shit where you eat. But what is done, is done.

So if you haven't had sex with her yet, you are still in the clear. Be happy you haven't. I know this feels counter-intuitive. It will be much easier "to break things" now.

The only hard thing will be dealing with her 8 hours per day, 5 days per week, as we work in the same office. I need to find a way to keep my distance.

Two choices:
Change work.
Go full-blown professional mode on her (polite, kind, but formal).

-Teevster

 

[AA10X]

This is why you do not shit where you eat. But what is done, is done.

So if you haven't had sex with her yet, you are still in the clear. Be happy you haven't. I know this feels counter-intuitive. It will be much easier "to break things" now.



Two choices:
Change work.
Go full-blown professional mode on her (polite, kind, but formal).

-Teevster

My salary is too good to leave I am trying the professional mode since last week. I am polite, but I dont open space for conversation, smoke breaks or coming back together any more. She is not taking well. She was poping up like, 5 times per day in my room using work as an excuse, but I think that she will understand and move away with time.

 

[TomInHo]

The simple answer is to fuck other women. Preferably get attractive girls as FWBs

Whenever I see a guy make a post like this it's often because he is going through a dry spell or is banging a lot of women below his standard

Fix the symptom from the root

Don't only go for ONS, also try to keep some women around because it seems like you need some female companionship more than anything

Because if you had a girl (or girls) you genuinely liked that were giving you sex and lots of female attention, I highly doubt you will be making threads about a coworker

 

[AA10X]

Don't only go for ONS, also try to keep some women around because it seems like you need some female companionship more than anything

You are totally right about this part. I had a ONS on last friday with a girl I picked on a bar, to try to forgot the coworker. Sex was good and girl was pretty, but it did not worked.

 

[TomInHo]

Keep going then

If you're getting consistent sex and female companionship you won't be overthinking talking to your coworker

I see no reason to stop talking to her completely, but think you are trying to over correct. You probably deep down know you won't be able to control yourself and will invest more in her since you have no options for companionship

Get an attractive FB or 2 then see how you feel about this girl in 6 months. You'll probably be surprised

 

[Teevster]

The simple answer is to fuck other women. Preferably get attractive girls as FWBs

Whenever I see a guy make a post like this it's often because he is going through a dry spell or is banging a lot of women below his standard

Fix the symptom from the root

Don't only go for ONS, also try to keep some women around because it seems like you need some female companionship more than anything

Because if you had a girl (or girls) you genuinely liked that were giving you sex and lots of female attention, I highly doubt you will be making threads about a coworker

100%.

-Teevster