FR I am not as bad as I thought :)

[ocantu1987]

So, I have been getting after this lately. Recently I have been practicing eye contact, starting conversations with regular people, working on my posture, saying Hi, working out at the gym, wearing smaller shirts yada yada the list goes on. I think my current job has helped my social skills tremendously I talk a whole lot at work, everybody there is 20+ years older than me I am 26, but I talk alot to everbody and try to look them in the eye when I can.

I have been going to college at night and at first I was feeling let down thinking where the hell are the girls at?? but I opened my eyes and there are girls I just didn't look hard enough haha. I started by talking to my classmate that sits next to me she is not hot but I talk about class with her just get my social skills up and she is nice to me. The first thing I told her was "How you doing?" with a smile and there you go thats it not hard at all, she talked to me. She would have never had said a word to me if I didn't say anything haha, but I did. In the past I have never talked in class, high school, elementary, never, I would love to keep my mouth shut literally.

I went to the tutoring lab tonight and there was a hot latina (she was a tutor) that blew me away haha I said I will talk to her introduce myself later because I had a test that I was worried about and I prefered my old tutor, dumb I know haha. but my eraser on my pencil fell off and I got up to look around for one and she asked me if I need help haha here is how it went:

Her: Can I help you?
Me: I need an eraser
her: I don't think I have one.
Me: Ok, do you have another pencil?
Her: sure, here you go...
Me: Thank you, hey whats your name?
Her: <Name>
Shook her hand, but I swear I cant remember If I told her my name haha
Me: I just never seen you before,"she liked meeting me, she didn't question why I was asking for her name erghh"
Her: Oh im around I tutor tuesdays and thursdays
Me: oh really, ok well thanks for the pencil
her: your welcome

So later she gets up to go to the restroom and I actually get up to meet my mom she works at my college. I see her in the hallway and I approach her and say something stupid, but I dont think she cared.

Eye contact on, posture up

Me: Hey <Name>, did I tell you my name? I don't think I did I was being serious haha
Her: Yeah you did haha,Its Ocantu......right? haha
She extends her hand out first,smiles, and I hold her hand for 5 seconds while we were walking, sweet!
Me:Good guess!
Her: I got it? haha
Me:So you leaving already?
Her: yeah, I leave at 5
Her: when do you come to lab?
Me:Tuesdays and thursdays
Me: well, ok <Name> I will see you around
Her:Bye!

I am taking baby steps right now, but here is what I need to work on.
1.More eye contact during conversations I swayed a little too much
2.ask her way more questions
3.repartee
4rapport
5. get phone number on the high note if possible.

I have barely just started, so, I know I could of done more with the conversation.I think I could have gotten her number actually.Overall, I was surprised at the fact that my heart wasn't beating out of my chest like usual I was still a little bit nervous that my memory goes blank, but I am getting better that is for sure. I didn't think nor plan to talk to her today, it just happened. I approached her in the hallway without thinking. She had a smile on her face the whole time and I loved it.

Sadly, my mom told me she has a BF, oh well next girl please! haha

if I can talk to her, then I can talk to another girl. That is what I am feeling now. I got to play the numbers

Please guys let me know what else I can improve on that I didn't mention already. Thanks!

 

[ProblemSolving]

Nice work Octanu!

You just experienced the power of social momentum. Once you take that first step everything changes. When you get in the habit of approaching/talking to strangers, you soon realize that rejection is nothing to be afraid of, which in turn, propels you to approach more.

About this latina chick, you definitely want to get her talking about stuff outside of the class room to separate you from the inquisitive student frame. For example:

Her: when do you come to the lab?
You: Tuesdays and Thursdays, so I shouldn't be too hard to find then What do you do when you're not dorkin' it up in the lab?

Try not to cut bait so quickly. In both conversations there was ample opportunity to get to know her, so hang in there until a connection is made and you can confidently number close.

Keep the ball rolling Octanu!

 

[ocantu1987]

Thanks ProblemSolving, I will definitely work on that as I knew that was the biggest mistake I made when she was clearly interested.