I can't see approach invitations (and I'm looking for them)

[SparklingWadah]

So I've been trying to see women's signs of interest for several months now, with very little progress. I've already read Chase's article Girls' Signs of Interest: Why Can't Most Men See Them? and took it on faith that, okay, women are signalling all the time. I wrote down the signs to look for, went out, and felt like I was totally blind because they seemed really rare and not at all common.

Like sure, over the last few months I found a couple of loud signals that even I could see (a girl playing with her hair + glancing at me + looking down when I look back, a girl hovering way too long near me in the grocery store, etc.)

Usually if they were giving tons enough that I could see it. But it seems way more rare than it's supposed to be and I don't know how to a get prescription for my signal blindness.

• Smiling? I can count the number of girls who smiled at me randomly on one hand in the last few months, and half of them could be my grandma.
• Glancing at me? Haven't caught any of them.
• Holding eye contact? Almost no one makes eye contact with me even when I am trying. Older people seem more open to it. Attractive women never, always seem to be staring straight ahead instead of reciprocating.
• Adjusting / flipping her hair? Alright this one I see more often when a girl passes by, but it's like once a week.
• Wandering around aimlessly? Also occasionally see it, but like once a week, and it's not triggered at all by me.
• Girls hovering close to me / getting close proximity? Very rarely as far as I have seen.

I see them occasionally but it's no where near as common as its supposed to be. Girls are supposed to be signalling all the time. I should be seeing tons of them every day, even if not directed at me.

Now, despite the lack of invitations I have still been approaching. Last few months I've approached 150-200 girls, mostly with direct daygame, and I go out for a few hours each time, so I should be seeing enough volume.

I don't think my fundamentals are the problem. Girls I approach will occasionally say things like "oh you look great too" when I open them with a compliment, I will get compliments on my fashion and such occasionally, and I've been working really hard on being more expressive and confident. I'm able to get phone numbers sometimes, very rarely those turn into a date, but it should say something good about my first impression.

So now I don't know how to improve my vision. I should be getting invitations, I am intentionally looking for them, and I can't see them. Nothing indicates I am on the spectrum either so it shouldn't be a brain problem.

There are a couple of demonstrations in some of the courses but nowhere near enough examples. I feel like I need to see dozens of curated examples in different situations to start seeing the pattern...but I can't see them in the first place so its a chicken and egg problem.

I suppose it's good that I'm not limiting myself to only approaching girls who signal, but I would really like to be able to find the girls who are actually interested in me.

 

[Swati]

no matter how much nuances the OGs tell you from the articles if you haven't experienced interacting with enough girls, you likely won't be able to pick up on it. at your stage if you see it, go, but you don't, still go.

The veterans are able to see cause of experience or general girls who are opened to being approach they could flip it into an interest/Ai

 

[Zoro]

I suspect the less you look for it, the more you will get it. Specifically if the girls notice you’re looking at them (and they do notice) because this is basically a sign that they do not have to get your attention.

Think about it, the approach invitation is meant to get a guys attention, but she already has it, she will be less likely to give it.

If try to be as discrete as possible and see if that changes things.

Also, I think there is another layer to it. When men see a physically attractive girl, they are interested. But when women see one, it’s not really enough yet. A woman is more into what you’re capable of, your vibe, your “sexy danger”, who you are, and that can be hard to convey just walking about, but you can cultivate it.

I think it looks like a man who is busy with his own life, barely noticing the women he passes by because he’s engrossed in his own interesting life, he’s calm and composed but like a lion with power and potential. And then oh, he notices her, and he decides why not say hi, it’s all not a big deal.

Just one way to look at it. I’ve done successful approaches in a completely different way too. (Wow you’re gorgeous!) but maybe I had the same energy anyway.

 

[AspiringStoic]

So I've been trying to see women's signs of interest for several months now, with very little progress. I've already read Chase's article Girls' Signs of Interest: Why Can't Most Men See Them? and took it on faith that, okay, women are signalling all the time. I wrote down the signs to look for, went out, and felt like I was totally blind because they seemed really rare and not at all common.

Like sure, over the last few months I found a couple of loud signals that even I could see (a girl playing with her hair + glancing at me + looking down when I look back, a girl hovering way too long near me in the grocery store, etc.)

Usually if they were giving tons enough that I could see it. But it seems way more rare than it's supposed to be and I don't know how to a get prescription for my signal blindness.

• Smiling? I can count the number of girls who smiled at me randomly on one hand in the last few months, and half of them could be my grandma.
• Glancing at me? Haven't caught any of them.
• Holding eye contact? Almost no one makes eye contact with me even when I am trying. Older people seem more open to it. Attractive women never, always seem to be staring straight ahead instead of reciprocating.
• Adjusting / flipping her hair? Alright this one I see more often when a girl passes by, but it's like once a week.
• Wandering around aimlessly? Also occasionally see it, but like once a week, and it's not triggered at all by me.
• Girls hovering close to me / getting close proximity? Very rarely as far as I have seen.

I see them occasionally but it's no where near as common as its supposed to be. Girls are supposed to be signalling all the time. I should be seeing tons of them every day, even if not directed at me.

Now, despite the lack of invitations I have still been approaching. Last few months I've approached 150-200 girls, mostly with direct daygame, and I go out for a few hours each time, so I should be seeing enough volume.

I don't think my fundamentals are the problem. Girls I approach will occasionally say things like "oh you look great too" when I open them with a compliment, I will get compliments on my fashion and such occasionally, and I've been working really hard on being more expressive and confident. I'm able to get phone numbers sometimes, very rarely those turn into a date, but it should say something good about my first impression.

So now I don't know how to improve my vision. I should be getting invitations, I am intentionally looking for them, and I can't see them. Nothing indicates I am on the spectrum either so it shouldn't be a brain problem.

There are a couple of demonstrations in some of the courses but nowhere near enough examples. I feel like I need to see dozens of curated examples in different situations to start seeing the pattern...but I can't see them in the first place so its a chicken and egg problem.

I suppose it's good that I'm not limiting myself to only approaching girls who signal, but I would really like to be able to find the girls who are actually interested in me.

Ah another victim of the pre approach IOI trap.

If you are a beginner. Fully forget about any signs, signals, gestures, predictions about girls, what they are feeling, what they are doing, whether they want to talk, not talk etc.

You see a girl you like, you go open and THEN FIND OUT.


Everything else is mental masturbation for a guy who does not already have massive experience.

I have seen so many guys walk around for hours in daygame looking for IOIs and then coming back home rationalizing that they did not approach because they did not get IOIs on that day. Its just adding another justification for bailing and listening to your fears and excuses.

I suppose it's good that I'm not limiting myself to only approaching girls who signal

This. Forget the rest. In fact go approach girls who you feel gave you signs of disinterest or you feel are not open to being approached.

Do it to test your assumptions. You will find how wrong most of our pre approach assumptions are.

 

[Stark]

Girls are masters of looking at you when they know they can't be caught staring.

My suspicion is you're probably looking right at the girl from the moment you spot her and ....staring.....at her.... to see if she's looking in your direction.

You probably are.

That's why you're not noticing those IOI's coming your way.

The trick is to keep a girl in your peripheral vision so that she get lulled into a false sense of safety.

She starts feeling that you're not going to look at her.

Then she starts looking at you.

At this point shift your gaze in lightning speed to her direction(don't turn your head or body), locking eyes with her.

You'll catch her embarrassed or blushing depending on her level of attraction.

If you have a soft gaze instead of a stern stare, she will hold eye contact - conveying her interest.

This takes practice, sexual experience, and countless hours in the field.

If you can perfect the above technique, you'll shave those hours(months/years) of effort in naturally mastering this.

 

[Will_V]

Last few months I've approached 150-200 girls, mostly with direct daygame, and I go out for a few hours each time, so I should be seeing enough volume.

Well done so far!

I'm able to get phone numbers sometimes, very rarely those turn into a date

You need to be focusing on improving the number of dates you're getting from those approaches. Posting field reports would be ideal.

 

[AspiringStoic]

You need to be focusing on improving the number of dates you're getting from those approaches.

Exactly. @SparklingWadah You are already doing what most guys cannot do. Focus on getting more numbers and converting those numbers to dates. Post questions about that so that the experienced ones here can give you suggestions.

I should be getting invitations

Why? Why focus on this? If you don't get invitations but if you are able to approach girls and get laid won't that be good enough?

You are doing the active part of taking action, focus on that. Why bother with this passive thing of looking for invitations?

 

[FAB DRONES]

Girls do stuff like hair flips to get your attention. Since you’re already checking every girl for IOI’s they don’t feel the need to get your attention. Try going out and relaxing totally and don’t intentionally look at anyone. See if then you catch girls trying to get your attention

 

[DarkKnight]

Yeah I agree with everyone here when I am distracted or women assume I am distracted I get way more AIs. But on days I am on the hunt suddenly much less.

When I am with a friend I get more AIs, when I am with a girl every pretense goes out of the window. Sometimes other girls even do things like asking the girl I am with if we are together.

But when I am on a mission and hunting? Forget about it

 

[DarkKnight]

We lost the edit function?

Also when I have some really suave peacocking clothing it also REALLY helps. Today is such a day.

 

[SparklingWadah]

Thanks for all the advice, it sounds like I need to relax more and see if I can spot more invitations. However I am a little confused here about how this attention thing works. Several articles like (the newbie assignment, How to Be Attuned to Women; When Girls Smile At You, Approach Them) say you should have be making eye contact with people as you walk around, but you guys are saying you should seem distracted and like you are in your own world. Are you guys still making eye contact or do you intentionally avoid it?

As for why I'm not converting numbers to dates, I'm told I seem like a really nice, friendly guy so I probably lack a sexual edge. I am planning to develop a bit more seriousness and intent but otherwise still fumbling around with it, and the articles I've read haven't really clarified it for me yet.

 

[FAB DRONES]

Idk if I’m giving good advice. Idk why anyone ever posts here tbh. Just as an experiment. Are you AI?
Relax, though, I do believe is good advice.
Skills has posted that girls aren’t giving AI’s anymore.
Approach Invitations. Not Artificial Intelligence.
I believe this to be true. IMHO it is pretty accurate.
Do what I said to do, as an experiment.
Not as advice. My results I must emphasize are humble. And a lot of it self-taught. Not saying I’m a natural. Well, I would’ve like to be, but I’d rather do my homework (yeah, I even signed up for the article subscription) My situation. Does not apply.
but it does. Well. Y does anyone post here. Does it help you learn. I suppose. I would say a natural is someone who had it figured out at the appropriate age, so like during college at the absolute worst. Preferably during high school. Well whenever they hit puberty.
anyway.
I fucked some hot younger women when I’m “older” I’m 31 now. I mean fucked some hot older woman too. Just turned thirty one yes I am good looking but a lot of it is about having that feeling of like “I’M GOOD WITH WOMEN” it’s definitely helped reading girls chase articles at key points in my life. Just like you’d discuss with a buddy, you can get bad advice or take advice badly. I am always bitching about lowering my standards too far b/c of girls chase advice. But really I took it too far. Luckily, with Ozempic, fat people will no longer be a thing.
Not really tho, just for the record. It’s like one really hot, solid hot chick, like 1 . And by that I mean like one hot sorority chick. Why didn’t I join a frat in college. Smh. Anyway.

 

[James D]

@SparklingWadah

Kuddos on taking action and trying to spot approach invitations.

It's true that girls are signalling quite often (even if your fundamentals aren't that impressive yet) and that most beginners don't notice.

My suggestion is in line with almost everyone else's:

Take action regardless of AIs.

These days, I can reliably tell which girls are opened to being approached in the day Vs which ones aren't.

But when I started out, I made a guess and approached no matter the prediction.

The feedback from those experiments is what honed my ability to spot approach invitations.

I can tell you this though:

Around 7 weeks ago, I saw a beautiful, sexy girl walking down a busy street.

When I made eye contact with her, she averted her eyes, a look of disgust on her face. I was walking towards her face on. She even swerved a litte to her right (my left) to avoid me.

Textbook fuck off signals? Check.

I approached her regardless cuz she was exactly my type (long flowing black hair, beautiful feminine face, ass to die for, dressed elegantly) and she responded well.

I carried on, grabbed her number, followed up with her, met her, and we ended up in bed together.

She sent me plane tickets to visit her 3 times already (and booked a ticket to come visit me in a couple weeks) and organized what turned out to be my first threesome ever.

That's from a girl who, as far as I could tell, wasn't opened to meeting me AT ALL.

I'm gonna have to get to writing that report. Perhaps today itself.

 

[Kaida]

@SparklingWadah

Kuddos on taking action and trying to spot approach invitations.

It's true that girls are signalling quite often (even if your fundamentals aren't that impressive yet) and that most beginners don't notice.

My suggestion is in line with almost everyone else's:

Take action regardless of AIs.

These days, I can reliably tell which girls are opened to being approached in the day Vs which ones aren't.

But when I started out, I made a guess and approached no matter the prediction.

The feedback from those experiments is what honed my ability to spot approach invitations.

I can tell you this though:

Around 7 weeks ago, I saw a beautiful, sexy girl walking down a busy street.

When I made eye contact with her, she averted her eyes, a look of disgust on her face. I was walking towards her face on. She even swerved a litte to her right (my left) to avoid me.

Textbook fuck off signals? Check.

I approached her regardless cuz she was exactly my type (long flowing black hair, beautiful feminine face, ass to die for, dressed elegantly) and she responded well.

I carried on, grabbed her number, followed up with her, met her, and we ended up in bed together.

She sent me plane tickets to visit her 3 times already (and booked a ticket to come visit me in a couple weeks) and organized what turned out to be my first threesome ever.

That's from a girl who, as far as I could tell, wasn't opened to meeting me AT ALL.

I'm gonna have to get to writing that report. Perhaps today itself.

Beautiful

 

[DarkKnight]

For some odd reason I have found those who give AIs dissapointing a lot of time, enough attention seekers among them especially when it is "confident" AIs. But when Like James writes girls do unprompted "disgusted" behavior they tend to protect their ego and you know that they do in fact find you valuable.

These days I am wary about AIs... it is more about compliance. AI but evasive behavior is one of my first warning signs that something is up.

I do believe that women protect themselves a bit too much , these days I even regard a girl staying a bit longer in the classroom as a good AI. It can really get subtle as that.

 

[Skills]

approach invitations have gone down with new gen. They are not as obvious on when that article was written... I mention this on the new gen:

Some different tweaks for seduction in new era...

These are already discuss in the forum in other places and in my yearly reviews but it is just a bit of adjustments: - Try texting faster.- This one is HUGE, back in the day we advice to match her response time, so if she took an hour to text back you take an hour and 10 minutes at least...

www.skilledseducer.com

^ with that being said there is a trick that will help you with ais, which is to force ais, and if they are not giving you fuck off body language accept as a positive ai, and go in...

Introduction to Approach Invites/Warm approach (Featuring Corvette aka Illuminatus) - The Skills Method

I quote in my book, posts and in my blog tons of good seducers, why? Cause I do not have a big ego, I put your getting good with women … Continue Reading →

www.theskillsmethod.com

 

[Marty]

with that being said there is a trick that will help you with ais, which is to force ais, and if they are not giving you fuck off body language accept as a positive ai, and go in...

Introduction to Approach Invites/Warm approach (Featuring Corvette aka Illuminatus) - The Skills Method

I quote in my book, posts and in my blog tons of good seducers, why? Cause I do not have a big ego, I put your getting good with women … Continue Reading →

www.theskillsmethod.com

I love this concept of overexertion, thank you. I have seen it but didn’t know what it was. I will know what to do next time.

 

[Curwen]

I've been getting lots of IOIs lately. BUT mostly when I go out doing something else than approaching.

There's two student cafeterias where I have lunch most of the time. When I'm not thinking about approaching anyone, I get IOIs quite frequently in these places. Sometimes I open a conversation.

Could be that girls sense you're hunting. OR it could be a selective focus (RAS) thing.

Personally, I get some performance anxiety if I approach because of IOIs I prefer to not have any of that before approaching.

 

[James D]

I'd like to chime in and make a quick note that we can split approach invitations into two camps:

1. Specific, targeted approach invitations
2. General AIs

What OP is talking about are the specific AIs: girls smiling at him, glancing his way, holding eye contact etc

General AIs are any signs a girl is open to meeting anyone, including you, but not specifically you.

I'm in the transit area of Dubai airport right now (if anyone there, shoot me a DM and let's say hi! I'm there for another 2 hours or so) and was taking note of AIs.

I received one or two specific AIs but saw quite a few girls exhibiting general AIs.

It's things like strolling around slowly, taking their time looking through the duty free stuff, a little bored but not too bored, glancing around occasionally, not wearing headphones or too absorbed in her phone, etc

When I spot these in day game, like in a mall, that's enough for me to approach.

I do receive some strong specific AIs on occasion albeit not as often as I'd like to admit.

 

[ChrisXKiss]

It's things like strolling around slowly, taking their time looking through the duty free stuff, a little bored but not too bored, glancing around occasionally, not wearing headphones or too absorbed in her phone, etc

Interesting, I don't think I've ever considered these AIs. I notice them, sometimes subconsciously, but for me it's more like: Ah this girl doesn't look very busy. But I never considered that they want to be opened, because of that.

I guess I would go to open if I saw it, although for me it's more about the girl really. If I like her enough, I may check in what state she is, but with or without AIs I will go. If I don't like her that much, sometimes I will even be rejected after an AI, because the girl realises I went simply because I saw an opening.