FR++ "I don't do casual sex"

[tvktvk]

Hey guys,

I went out with Zoey tonight (the saturday FR+ from last report, here's the link: https://boards.girlschase.com/viewtopic.php?f=5&t=10039) Did not go well and I'm getting tired of taking girls back to my place and NOT having sex with them...

On sunday I texted the save my number text and she responded wamly. On wednesday I texted her and she took over three hours to reply:

me - Hey miss, hope your week's been good so far I'm honestly tired of the study halls already, haha. Got any plans for the weekend? wed 17.47
her - Heyyou Had a good week, what about you? I know what you're talking about, haha. Currently don't have any plans, we'll see what happens wed 21.20
me - Week's been good Meeting an old buddy tomorrow so that'll be fun. I have however been wanting to check out this retro cafe/bar next to x grocery shop. Since you don't have any plans I suggest you join wed 22.12
her - Oh that's nice Heheh, ya I'll join Friday? wed 22.32
me - Awesome Friday works, shall we say 8 pm? wed 22.54
her - Sounds good wed 23.05
me - See you on friday then Zoey wed 23.19

On friday I send the anti flake text 18.15 and she responds right away. We meet up and she's looking real good. We walk to the cafe/bar together and talk for about one hour. We go pretty deep and personal, maybe too deep. I throw some chaseframes here and there, but the sexual frames are missing. After one hour I tell her we should head to my place, chill and watch some white collar (she mentions this is her favourite show). She's at first a bit hesitant, but says yes.

Back at my place

We walk in, take off our jackets in the entrance and I close the distance between us. she says "I really wanna hook up, but..." then I interupt her shushing her, because Mr Moustache and Ellie are sitting watching tv in the living room right behind the door. Now she's apologizing for saying that and making a big deal about it so I end up not kissing her. We go in, she says hello to them, I offer her some water and we go downstairs to my room. She repeatedly exclaims how nice the apartment is. I tell her she smells fantastic which she does. I close the distance again and hold around her but I don't kiss her. Don't remember if she was resistant. She goes to use the bathroom, comes back and I put on an episode of white collar and we snuggle up. She doesn't really want to spoon though, she at first wanted to sit platonicly side by side on my bed. We watch the episode for a few minutes before I try to kiss her, but she's turning her face away. We sit and watch the episode for 15 minutes commenting and laughing before I go again. She resists once more and says she just wants to chill.

her - I just wanna chill
me - You just wanna chill and not kiss?
her - Yeah
me - Then I don't really understand why you're here.
her - I thought we could chill and be friends.
me - I'm not really looking for a new friend.

She then tells me she doesn't hook up casually and only has sex in relationships. That's why when I previously said on saturday I don't want anything serious she assumed that I wanted just to chill platonically.

me - Woah wait a minute. When we were at the entrance you said you really wanna hook up.
her - Noo, I said I don't wanna hook up! (dafuq?)

I ask her why she doesn't have casual sex, and she can't come up with an answer, all she says is she just doesn't do it. I say that I think she has a mental block that tells her that hooking up is bad, when its not. I aslo ask her when's the last time she had a boyfriend. I'm trying to frame that casual sex is good, but I'm fumbling. I wasn't prepared for anything like this and I don't know what to say. She says she's sorry and if she wasn't going away after the summer things would be different, but casually hooking up is not going to happen. She leaves afterwards...

Thoughts

- Fuck. This. Shit.
- I've always had major issues being put in either the friend or the boyfriend category and the trend continues. I'm guessing my deep dives maybe go too deep on dates and the sexual frames are missing.
- Did she lie to me and change her mind about hooking up or did she really say I don't wanna hook up in the entrance? (What do you think?)
- I should have tried to fuck her on saturday. We were kissing back then and she was much more receptive, but I wasn't escalating it any further cause she kept saying that she had to be up in a couple of hours (it was 5 am and she needed to be up by 7 am). This was probably token resistance.
- I'm thinking I have to really practice sexually framing my conversations. I banter, I tease, and I do chase frame (although I need to get better). What I'm really lacking is the sexual frame.

I would have thought being able to lead 3 girls to my bedroom would lead into sex at least once. It hasn't, and I'm starting to question if there is something I'm doing really wrong fundementally when it comes to fiting the lover category. I thought my sexy nonverbals were good enough to not need to rely too heavily on sexual framing. Maybe I talk to too much and it cancels out the nonverbals. I don't really know. Please help me GC. I need some feedback.

TVKTVK

 

[mb1]

Re: FR++/FU: "I don't do casual sex"

Ok just spitballing, but perhaps just agree with her logic while dominating/disagreeing with her frame physically and giving lots of space.

I'm not thinking of advice for you with her, but with the next one.

What's your logical boyfriend disqualification?

Next time you want to only give yourself 10 minutes for the kiss, invite her over for something allowing conversation.

Alternatively, if a girl is coming over to watch something on your bed or couch alone, manhandle or pull her body or just head in for a kiss immediately upon entering the room. Read the article on kiss initiation options and follow up.

Stop escalating and go right to setting up the show and talk about it like it didn't hapen or is natural like kissing your girlfriend randomly. The obvious segway is into the show topic, then sit to watch.

If she doesn't storm out, you're good to proceed as you did and may have different results this time with a boyfriend disqualifier too.

For details, read the articles on anti slut defence and last minute resistance. You can push pull and persist at a comfortable pace. You need to get her horny while also showing you're not in any rush or need though also are continuing.

Alek's and other articles about sexual framing will help, as well as subtextually implying through chase framing and maintaining plausible deniability.

 

[mindful]

Re: FR++/FU: "I don't do casual sex"

I had a similar situation a few weeks back. During our initial meeting she told me she doesnt hook up casually and prefers to be in relationships. I actually did believe her but I knew she was attracted to me and liked me. I did try to pull her back to my apt either way but she had to be back to study. I was kind of disappointed honestly and didn't really care to meet up with her again, but we did.

Second time, she came over again and we took a walk through the park and then we went back to my apt after that. I escalated and got her naked and licked her pussy on my bed... but she wouldn't let me have sex with her. She then explained to me that she didn't want to come to my apt because she knew this would happen but was too nice to say no. She actually wanted to grab a drink but I was able to get her back to my apt. This was also a classic case of "she got hers". I didn't think I made her cum and I was conscious of the fact because I stopped after not to long to try and fuck her and she wouldn't let me. I did try some tactics for the LMR but I didn't push it and extend for hours like some on here recommend.

In the end, she was disappointed and so was I. I still believe she didn't want to hook up and her personality and how she was backed that up. Everything also seemed like a point system with her in terms of investment which really annoyed me. After she left, all I was thinking about was how I should of taken what she said at face value about not hooking up. I then proceeded to watch the college basketball championship game and completely forget about her

 

[ray_zorse]

Re: FR++/FU: "I don't do casual sex"

If she kissed you the first time then she was down for sex, but something changed in the meantime. Missed window situation. Probably what you said: Not persisting for sex on the first meeting. Then as a result, getting slotted into the boyfriend frame (you disqualified yourself as a lover by not giving her sex but you still had sufficient value to qualify as boyfriend, hence why she said she only kisses in relationship etc -- hinting you should chase her). It was probably done for before you entered the appt, had you allowed her to continue she would've said "I really wanna hook up but this problem, that problem, etc, I can't, blah blah"... so she was in fact telling you the truth later on when she explained she had been trying to tell you she isn't hooking up today.

So I wouldn't beat yourself up here, it's a simple case of missed window and you will obviously know better next time. Your mistake might have been then to invest further time and effort in her, but I suppose you couldn't have known she'd go this way. But as a general comment I think one way you could really improve your seductions would be a focus on compliance, see my posts to RDawg on this (search for the phrase "you may have to find your own zinger")... I reckon what a lot of you guys are finding is that fast seductions and quick pulls are worthwhile if she is willing (particularly in nightgame but I gather this is daygame), but if she's more on the fence then you are going to have to lay your groundwork a lot more thoroughly. It never hurts to be thorough anyway.

Remember, escalating = taken compliance... I'm willing to bet you didn't go through complience requests and compliance demands to build compliance earlier. As well as getting her accustomed to following your commands, it acts as a useful screening tool, because a girl who is not interested and wasting your time (or on the other hand is interested but only interested in having things on her terms) will not comply, and so you'll know straightaway where you stand. At this point you can either ditch her, or if you think it worthwhile, you can rotate back down to compliance requests of a lesser nature, and try to build up. Except in circumstances where she's clearly thirsty (see article on "skipping steps"), I wouldn't try to escalate until I had compliance I was happy with.

Ray

 

[tvktvk]

Re: FR++/FU: "I don't do casual sex"

mb1,

I'm familiar with the articles you're referring to. If you read my previous report on the same girl (which I linked to at the top) you would know I already did most of the stuff you suggested. I however did not escalate sexually that time due to token resistance (retarded I know, I was tired) and on the second date the escalation window had apparently closed (for a guy with my level of game). Thank you for your reading my report though!

mindful,

You're situation sounds like a mix between this girl and another sexually inexperienced girl I couldn't get past the LMR with. Their thought of casual sex as "bad" is so strongly rooted in their logical mind that beating the LMR by amping up their horny emotional state becomes a very hard task for an inexperienced seducer. That's why I believe focusing on establishing a sexual frame before one try to escalate becomes essential when dealing with this type of girl.

Haha, sports are a good way of getting your mind off things, cool story bro

Ray,

If she kissed you the first time then she was down for sex, but something changed in the meantime. Missed window situation. Probably what you said: Not persisting for sex on the first meeting. Then as a result, getting slotted into the boyfriend frame (you disqualified yourself as a lover by not giving her sex but you still had sufficient value to qualify as boyfriend, hence why she said she only kisses in relationship etc -- hinting you should chase her). It was probably done for before you entered the appt, had you allowed her to continue she would've said "I really wanna hook up but this problem, that problem, etc, I can't, blah blah"... so she was in fact telling you the truth later on when she explained she had been trying to tell you she isn't hooking up today.

Right as fucking rain. You hit the hammer on the head my friend.

I will definitely read your posts to RDawg, like him I'm almost exclusively running night game. I've become much better at commanding things after GC, but I'll look more into it. A couple months ago I was beating myself up for pussying out on approaching cute girls that were CLEARLY eyeing me. Now that my approaching is better I guess I'll turn my focus towards getting more compliance. Thank you for an excellent reply Ray!


TVKTVK

 

[mb1]

Re: FR++/FU: "I don't do casual sex"

Yeah just browsing here, didn't read into your history, but seems to me like you figured out what to work on - the hard push. It helped me to think of it like if she's objecting, it's a chance to show dominance and pro social behaviour by converting her to your side so to speak. These may help...

https://www.girlschase.com/content/secre ... objections

https://www.girlschase.com/content/how-g ... every-date

Internal frames parts especially
https://www.girlschase.com/content/how-u ... turn-women