FU I don't know how to ask girls home.

[zeroman2]

Hi Beginner here

The last two weeks have been busy for me. I invited three females to come join me for coffee (one with a husband, when would a boyfriend, one recently divorced)
I figured if nothing comes out at the very least I could see where I'm at when I'm on a date.

Date 1.
She was married and average looking. We met doing a cosplay event and every time we talked we got along fine. One day after texting her after not seeing her for a while I said we should meet up and catch up over coffee. She agreed and we met up for coffee last week. When I met her she wasn't doll up she was in regular clothes. I went and gave her a hug then I asked for a compliance in which she resisted. However later on I asked for compliance again in what she was more accepting. She was more compliant and I deep dive. However when it comes to the flirtation there wasn't any. That was my fault I didn't try to touch her, use Chase frames, or anything like that. Why I didn't do that because I guess I was a little intimidated because it was my first date in a while. After I walked to a car we hugged and that was it. After this I realize I should have used the SAC better.

Date 2.
She flacked on me. I wasn't surprised. It was a girl I started chasing before I discovered this website. So when I slowly started picking up things that I got from this website the sexual attention between me and her has been growing over the years. Now it's pretty much up to the point where she's afraid to be alone with me because she might end up sleeping with me. (She pretty much told me that herself). So I was surprised that she agreed to go on a coffee with me in the first place. But like I expected she flaked. She wanted me to go places neutral where there's other friends around but I wasn't having it.

Date 3.
It all started when I started working at a haunted house. And there was this girl that was interested in me. She added me on Facebook and started Loving and commenting on my post. We text back and forth until one day I told her let's meet up for coffee and catch up in which she agreed. At first I was hesitant to ask her out because she has like 10 kids (but she's in really good shape) but then I remember a few posts from Chase about lowing your standards and also you set the terms of the relationship. Also she was kind of cute so I didn't mind that much. She was late but after a she got there I started using SAC and I have to say it worked. When I asked for compliance she complied without resistance. When I started using touch she didn't mind whatsoever. Finally when I started deep diving she tell me a whole lot of things. Such as she's going to a divorce, she's working 60 hours a week, and she used to be in the military. After we was done with our coffee I asked her to give me a ride home in which she complied. After we were alone in a car for a few minutes talking I just gave her a hug again she drove off. I know I f***** up I should have invited her up however just to let you know I have never invited any girl up to my place and I don't know the first thing about it. Now we're on the subject I don't know what's the perfect time to just kiss her. Like should I do it out of nowhere? How do I go about doing it?

Questions:

1. How do I ask a girl to come up to my place?

2. When's the perfect time to kiss her?

3. Based on what you read what else can I improve on?

 

[Regal Tiger]

Hi Beginner here


Questions:

1. How do I ask a girl to come up to my place?

2. When's the perfect time to kiss her?

3. Based on what you read what else can I improve on?

Kind of in a hurry so I'm just skimming the general questions and ignoring the other stuff:

1) Find a reason for both of you to come back your place, then start mentioning it part-way through the date:
--> Oh yeah, I have this pond by my house that's really beautiful
----> later on when it looks like she might be ready: But anyways, I'm getting bored here/this seat's starting to hurt/we've been here a while, would you like to check out that pond? It's beautiful

Other guys like to use other options like "Oh hey I play a little guitar, I'll play for you sometime". I remember Chase mentioning that Ricardus used to be a pianist and would put on a performance for girls. Chase himself has always mentioned getting a nightcap (although this would be more for the evening) at this special little place he knew of (his house lol)

2) There is no perfect time, you just kinda go for it when you feel like she's ready. If she's willing to get extremely close to you, if she's touching you a lot, if the energy kind of dies down a little bit (but she's still invested/interested, I don't mean the date dies down I just mean she gets more zoned in on you) or if she starts doing what people call the triangle gaze where she looks at your eyes and then your lips
--> also, a lot of guys will talk about waiting to kiss a girl until you're back at a place where you can escalate to sex, and for good reason: it can kill the sexual tension
----> but if you know what you're doing you can escalate sexual tension with a kiss. Which anymore is kind of what I do by going for the kiss to kind of double check myself to see if she's ready to fuck based on how into the kiss she is (and you have to be the one to pull away first, and rather quickly, you're not trying to make out with her when you do this)

3) I'm going to assume escalation in general. Which means learning how/when to touch and why
Reddit used to have some good stuff on it that I followed early on in my seduction career that helped. Not sure if it's still there though. It was called "the touching game" and it was a useful system to follow when I didn't know what the hell was happening lol

 

[zeroman2]

Thank you so much for the advice

 

[Regal Tiger]

Thank you so much for the advice

No worries!

I read over the other parts, and here's something that not a lot of people think about when inviting people in (with regards to date 3):

If you find yourself with a woman in a car at your place or her place, literally just invite her in lol. Sometimes you don't have to overthink it and I've gotten laid plenty of times from just asking a woman "hey, wanna come in?"

If you're at her place, just ask to use the restroom or grab a glass of water "Hey, mind if I get some water?"


As for how to get to where you're at her place or your place, that's as easy as saying that you need to change your shirt. I like to walk around with women during the warmer times of the year and after walking around I'll just tell a woman "Hey, I need to get some water so I don't get cotton mouth/change my shirt so I don't feel gross. Mind if I swing by my place?" *that 'coincidentally, wink' just so happens to be nearby* --> which is another thing, set up dates so that they're at least semi-close to your place. Right now there's a walking trail near the place I stay at. I take girls there a lot because it makes things easier

Then when you get there, just offer her a tour of your place or just invite her in instead of sitting in the car.


If she's not willing to follow you into your house then you probably weren't going to get laid regardless. But sometimes you can just be simple and say "want to come in?"


If date 3 was into you, which from your description it sounds like she was, then that would have worked just fine. After that's it's all about escalation once inside


Lastly, remember one thing: it's not a big deal. If you treat it like a big deal then she thinks it's a big deal and could get cold feet. But if you treat it like some small, normal thing then your opinion is all she has to go on. And if she's into you, and following your lead, she's going to go with your lead and think that it's no big deal at all

One thing that even I forget sometimes is this: people like us, who are out there really trying to get better and going through these situations time and time again are in the overwhelming minority. Sure, some people will rack up body counts like no other, but it's still rare even for them to get picked up during the day and sleep with someone who, might as well be a stranger.

Same thing with online dating, most women aren't out there fucking 5-6 dudes a month. And while I can't say from personal experience, I'm assuming that it's the same with night game.

Sure, it happens (more so with online and night games), but once you go through the process like 10 times, you're in a different league as far as experience goes.

 

[Fuck This]

As we go into fall, there is the justification...."I need to grab a sweatshirt/jacket" before you go for a walk...

Always "gotta feed my dog" . I've got some other animals girls always love to pet that makes them moist in the ladybits...

You can always , need to drop something off at my house, or get something out for the neighbor to borrow...

As you can se there are plenty of plausible deniability items to effect a stop at your place.

Also be aware of her hinting to go to her place...Many times she will feel more comfortable closer to her personal toiletries (And Birth control).

 

[Vision]

There are a lot of different ways to do it depending on the logistics and setup.

I used to set things up so that I'd meet girls at this restaurant across the street from my apartment. From there, we'd go to a karaoke bar next door.

After that, I'd have them drive us to this bar that had a pool table in it to play a game of pool (sometimes I'd drive but it was better if they did).

Then, I'd have them drive me back to the original restaurant since I hadn't told them that I live in the apartment across the street yet, lol.

I'd have them pull into my parking lot, park in my spot, and then I'd open the door, get out, turn and say, "you can come in, but just for a second" and then shut the door and start walking. I don't think that ever didn't work... sometimes, they'd get out of the car, while it was still running and be like, "hey, hey!" but then they'd turn the car off and come running after me, lol.

By the time they got to me, it would basically be more awkward not to just come in for a minute.

If I drove, it was basically the same... instead of driving them back to their car, I'd park in the parking lot across the street (my parking lot) and do basically the same thing.

I also had some other things that I could say when they got there... I played guitar, which worked the best, I think. I wasn't even that good at it, lol. But it worked.

Another thing you can do if you want to be more direct and don't have driving logistics like that (I don't anymore) is ask them if they want to watch a movie with you... basically, seed the movie earlier. Some women don't like movies so you'd really need to find something they liked.

I've found that this doesn't work nearly as well, btw. It's less awkward for them to say "no" to this.

IMO, it's better to wait until you're back at your place before you kiss her... that builds a lot of intrigue, uncertainty, and mystery. Although, if you're a good kisser and good at escalation, she might convince herself to go back home with you because she wants to get laid.

I had a girl do that earlier this year when I was in Mexico... I kissed her on the beach when I met her and then she asked me when we were going to watch that movie on the day 2... went back to my place and hooked up, didn't even watch a movie.

 

[Vision]

Oh, another thing I didn't mention is that you can have her come over to your place at the beginning of the date. That can work really well... then walk out to meet her, tell her you forgot something and just open the door and tell her that she can look inside but that you aren't staying. This works better if you live somewhere where the door to your place is on the outside of the building... living where I am now, it's different because they need to come into the building, go up the elevator, and then come into the apartment from there... but even just having them see the building and the apartment can make them feel more comfortable with coming back there later, ime.

If she goes into the apartment and you kick her out, she'll feel much safer coming back there later for the close.

 

[Will_V]

Seriously you shouldn't be asking this question until you've at least tried something basic. You can come up with any reason.

"Let's watch a movie at mine"
"I've got a tea collection, come and have a look"
"Let's go and listen to some music at my place"
"You hungry" <yes> "come on, we'll eat something at mine real quick"

There's no trick. You aren't trying to cover anything up. It's simple plausible deniability. She's not a goose, she knows what it means to get invited to a guys place. Just have something there that someone could conceivably pretend to be interested in, so she can pretend to be interested in it while you take her in your arms and kiss her.

She's not thinking "oh there's really something fantastically interesting at this guys place, I'd better go see!!" she's actually thinking "god, I'm glad this guy I like spending time with managed to ask me home without doing something awkward".

It's about timing, not complicated tactics. All you need to do is pull the trigger at the right time with something basic, when you've escalated a bit and there's sexual tension in the air.

 

[Darius]

i think it's obvious from all the answers above that if the timing is right the reason can be really stupid and it won't matter.

what also worked well for me is to have a non-cliché pretext ready in case I want to invite a girl home but can't think of anything. it helps me feel more prepared. also since it's not the usual stuff guys come up with when they don't have any ideas (e.g. drinks/movie/food), it tends to bypass some resistance.

i have a quirky painting of a pelican at my place. i know i can always invite girls to check it out in a pinch

 

[Regal Tiger]

i have a quirky painting of a pelican at my place. i know i can always invite girls to check it out in a pinch

I found that sentence oddly enjoyable to read lmao. Also, pics or it didn't happen


Side note; are you a fan of alliteration or was that an accident?