I don't know what she wants

[wanderingseagal]

Hey all,

I am a pretty long time lurker of this website, it has helped me with some great tips from the users here. This is my first post on this forum, and I hope I can get some advice. I will also keep around this forum and try to help other people if I can.

So here is the story.

There is this girl in my class in college that I'm interested in. I always catch her staring at me and she is always making sad/happy facial expressions to me when something happens.
A couple of days ago a few classmates and I went to grab a drink in a pub. She was also there. She was sitting next to me the whole time and she seemed pretty interested. She asked about my job and family. A few drinks and eye contact later she asked me if I didn't like her, as a joke. I told her that I actually do like her.
After grabbing a few drinks some classmates wanted to go clubbing. She decided to go with them and insisted that I go with them(she asked me several times to go with them). But I couldn't since I had something else to do. I'm feeling like complete shit right now, because if I went with her I might have got a chance.

So, I don't know if she is interested in me, but it seems like it. But when I text/snapchat(which I don't do often) her about something, she almost never responds, and if she does it is a short and simple text.
I am wondering why she behaves like this and what I can do.

What do you guys think? Does she seem interested and shall I spend my time on her or not? I really don't know what to do since I've never encountered this type of behaviour.

Thanks in advance for your advice!

 

[Adam101]

I'm sorry to say but it sounds like you missed your chance. It sounds like this girl was way into you and was going far out of her way to express interest. But in your uncertainty you didn't reward her for her putting herself out there and missed many an escalation window. From her point of view she was blaring sirens on deaf ears and that's why she went cold. You did not lead her to sex when it sounds obvious she wanted a good time with you. Had you gone out with her you probably would have ended up between some sheets.

Someone may have some advice on how to re-spark her interest but usually it is very difficult to overcome a woman's disappointment on initial impressions.

She gave you a shot and you missed it. As a result she's gone cold. It sucks but now when it happens again you will be better equipped to recognize the signs so you can act fast. It'll be easy to kick your own rear for this one but try to focus on it as a positive learning experience. Better luck next time.

 

[wanderingseagal]

I'm sorry to say but it sounds like you missed your chance. It sounds like this girl was way into you and was going far out of her way to express interest. But in your uncertainty you didn't reward her for her putting herself out there and missed many an escalation window. From her point of view she was blaring sirens on deaf ears and that's why she went cold. You did not lead her to sex when it sounds obvious she wanted a good time with you. Had you gone out with her you probably would have ended up between some sheets.

Someone may have some advice on how to re-spark her interest but usually it is very difficult to overcome a woman's disappointment on initial impressions.

She gave you a shot and you missed it. As a result she's gone cold. It sucks but now when it happens again you will be better equipped to recognize the signs so you can act fast. It'll be easy to kick your own rear for this one but try to focus on it as a positive learning experience. Better luck next time.

Thank you for your reply. Really appreciate it. However, she didn't went cold, she was always 'cold', as long as I know her. The 'text' thing I explained earlier was before this whole story. So before that night she already didn't reply to texts and/or reply with simple sentences. That's why I don't get it.

 

[HellAtlantic]

But why is she like that on texts? Maybe she doesn't value you as much as you think. If you were Brad Pitt texting her do you think she wouldn't reply or "be cold"? No she'd reply instantly. So you are on the other end of the spectrum. Someone she can't make time for or be bothered to type "busy now will reply back as soon as I have free time". When a girl values you you'll see it.

 

[Beast69]

First post on this.

Wanderingseagal, have you tried only using text for logistic purposes since you already know her in person? If you want to see if there is any hope left then try to set up a date, preferably in person if you can eg talk to her after class about it.

-B