LR-- "I don't want penetration"

[Bismarck]

Quick post here.

What's been up
Can't say I've been too active on the cold approach front. Did a bit of that from 1 to 17 March and then a little bit on the weekends thereafter but mostly trudged along with my two fuck buddies. Got rid of one after totally losing frame (she wouldn't suckle on my chorizo, no doggy, wouldn't let me penetrate her without a rubber, had to sleep over even though she lives a 3-minute walk away, had to be drunk for us to fuck, etc.) who wasn't even all that (saggy titties and blubber on the ass cheeks (I like ass cheeks firm)).

The other I've boinked 3 times (took her v-card) since meeting her in November, so in 5 months. First time was her messaging me first (was third date, that I changed to a movie at mine and laid out the proper frames before busting her hymen) but next two sex seshes I was the one to contact her first so now am pushing, waiting for her to bite the bait. If she doesn't it's her loss.

Been super busy setting up a part-time job on top of my main full-time one, didn't even stop for easter break or anything. But am building a lifestyle that will provide me greater overall satisfaction, and will make more money in the process, being able to take steps towards building wealth.

The girl from this report
Met this girl during an internship I was doing last year. We met at a pub quiz. We clicked. She's German, cute, has a nice bod, in her mid-to-late twenties, from a village.

Invited her out for a glass of wine at the park. She had a boyfriend back home and pretty conservative views where sex was concerned. I set my non-judgmental frames regardless.

I then didn't see her for a while, and frankly forgot about her.

8 months later I get a message from her on a messaging app last night saying she's been in the city for a few hours and is here for a few days for some work-related stuff. Apparently, she'd wished me happy birthday a few months previously on another messaging app (I hadn't seen this message, so hadn't replied).

She asked me about my availability over the next couple of days and I said "9 to 11" at night. She said, "Like now, then?"

She tried to invite me to where she was and I said I was "about to watch a movie" and invited her over instead, writing my address. But she said she "wasn't feeling like going out again" and that we could watch the movie "at her place" (meaning, in her room).

And here I did something I won't be doing again. I'm 33 and should know better, especially after 99 notches. I said "ok" (her motel was 15 minutes walking distance from my studio).

Arrived in her room and she was in her PJs. She had a laptop on the bed but moved it away, clearing space. We chatted a bit and I could tell she just wanted me to make a move. So I started making out with her and then she pulled me onto her on the bed, lying underneath me.

What followed was my usual escalation of kissing from the neck down slowly to tease (she was getting flustered) and initially avoiding nipples. She put my hand on her asscheek. Soon I took all her clothes off without any resistance but when I took mine off she asked me to keep my boxers on. I did (in retrospect I shouldn't have).

Then I started fingering her while biting her nipple gently. She was getting turned on but when I took off my boxers she shut down and said she "didn't want penetration" to which I asked "why not?" she said because she'd "had some bad experiences" where she "got hurt" to which I said "I won't hurt you." Then she asked me to put them back on and I said "nah." I assuaged her by telling her "I won't do anything against your will."

Anyway from here it all went downhill. She caressed my shlong a bit but wouldn't even let me finger her anymore. I told her I'd have to leave soon to work this morning, and 45 minutes after entering her room I was out again.

 

[DoWhatWorks]

frankly forgot about her.

8 months later I get a message from her on a messaging app

"And when you forget it, that's when she pop up" is a drake line that is so true... Funny how it works lol

she'd wished me happy birthday a few months previously on another messaging app (I hadn't seen this message, so hadn't replied).

This suggests her buying temperature was high if she followed up again

when I took off my boxers she shut down and said she "didn't want penetration" to which I asked "why not?"

I'll let others chime in but for me this is where the lay was lost. If you had replied with:

"Don't know why you're bringing it up, I'm just enjoying your company" *mischievous/innocent grin then this would of been a full LR

From the info you provided she just needed more comfort from you as she was already attracted and invested.

she said because she'd "had some bad experiences" where she "got hurt" to which I said "I won't hurt you."

Easy to do but fell into "logically" change her mind. You easing off and slowly escalating again would have shown her this emotionally.


Onwards and upwards though - I'm sure there'll be plenty more

 

[Bismarck]

Yeah I did ease off and then try to reboot things (45 minutes is longer than one single attempt) but frankly, I don't have the energy to deal with LMR these days.

I think suggesting that a different wording on my part would have secured the lay, when this was a girl who had already revealed conservative sexual values to me when we went on the date, is a bit of a long shot.

How do you provide comfort to a girl giving LMR when you're both fully nude and she's shutting down due to not wanting to bang (not making out anymore, just pecks on the lips, not letting you finger her, rubbing your dick then stopping abruptly, etc.)? Honestly, when this sort of shtick starts I just want to GTFO of there.

Thanks for providing input anyway DWW.

 

[foggy]

hey biz, can you explain more about these conservative sexual values. what were they? and what influenced her to have these values [past experiences where she got hurt, her upbringing from religious parents, something else]

 

[Swati]

Yeah I did ease off and then try to reboot things (45 minutes is longer than one single attempt) but frankly, I don't have the energy to deal with LMR these days.

I think suggesting that a different wording on my part would have secured the lay, when this was a girl who had already revealed conservative sexual values to me when we went on the date, is a bit of a long shot.

How do you provide comfort to a girl giving LMR when you're both fully nude and she's shutting down due to not wanting to bang (not making out anymore, just pecks on the lips, not letting you finger her, rubbing your dick then stopping abruptly, etc.)? Honestly, when this sort of shtick starts I just want to GTFO of there.

Thanks for providing input anyway DWW.

is fucking annoying. I hate LMR as well, every girl seems to be different with their reservations but to ensure that I'm getting as close as possible to lays. I remind myself if I decided to go for it, I'm going to persist harder with tact without being butthurt. talk to her and be passionate about her body without needy energy. because when you feel disappointed the vibe is swift and the girl feels it too sometimes goes into auto rejection.

I missed 2 lays this I believe within the 2 weeks of time because of LMR

 

[Will_V]

Quick post here.

What's been up
Can't say I've been too active on the cold approach front. Did a bit of that from 1 to 17 March and then a little bit on the weekends thereafter but mostly trudged along with my two fuck buddies. Got rid of one after totally losing frame (she wouldn't suckle on my chorizo, no doggy, wouldn't let me penetrate her without a rubber, had to sleep over even though she lives a 3-minute walk away, had to be drunk for us to fuck, etc.) who wasn't even all that (saggy titties and blubber on the ass cheeks (I like ass cheeks firm)).

The other I've boinked 3 times (took her v-card) since meeting her in November, so in 5 months. First time was her messaging me first (was third date, that I changed to a movie at mine and laid out the proper frames before busting her hymen) but next two sex seshes I was the one to contact her first so now am pushing, waiting for her to bite the bait. If she doesn't it's her loss.

Been super busy setting up a part-time job on top of my main full-time one, didn't even stop for easter break or anything. But am building a lifestyle that will provide me greater overall satisfaction, and will make more money in the process, being able to take steps towards building wealth.

The girl from this report
Met this girl during an internship I was doing last year. We met at a pub quiz. We clicked. She's German, cute, has a nice bod, in her mid-to-late twenties, from a village.

Invited her out for a glass of wine at the park. She had a boyfriend back home and pretty conservative views where sex was concerned. I set my non-judgmental frames regardless.

I then didn't see her for a while, and frankly forgot about her.

8 months later I get a message from her on a messaging app last night saying she's been in the city for a few hours and is here for a few days for some work-related stuff. Apparently, she'd wished me happy birthday a few months previously on another messaging app (I hadn't seen this message, so hadn't replied).

She asked me about my availability over the next couple of days and I said "9 to 11" at night. She said, "Like now, then?"

She tried to invite me to where she was and I said I was "about to watch a movie" and invited her over instead, writing my address. But she said she "wasn't feeling like going out again" and that we could watch the movie "at her place" (meaning, in her room).

And here I did something I won't be doing again. I'm 33 and should know better, especially after 99 notches. I said "ok" (her motel was 15 minutes walking distance from my studio).

Arrived in her room and she was in her PJs. She had a laptop on the bed but moved it away, clearing space. We chatted a bit and I could tell she just wanted me to make a move. So I started making out with her and then she pulled me onto her on the bed, lying underneath me.

What followed was my usual escalation of kissing from the neck down slowly to tease (she was getting flustered) and initially avoiding nipples. She put my hand on her asscheek. Soon I took all her clothes off without any resistance but when I took mine off she asked me to keep my boxers on. I did (in retrospect I shouldn't have).

Then I started fingering her while biting her nipple gently. She was getting turned on but when I took off my boxers she shut down and said she "didn't want penetration" to which I asked "why not?" she said because she'd "had some bad experiences" where she "got hurt" to which I said "I won't hurt you." Then she asked me to put them back on and I said "nah." I assuaged her by telling her "I won't do anything against your will."

Anyway from here it all went downhill. She caressed my shlong a bit but wouldn't even let me finger her anymore. I told her I'd have to leave soon to work this morning, and 45 minutes after entering her room I was out again.

I agree with @DoWhatWorks she needed more comfort. Her getting naked but not wanting you to do so suggests she was trying to come to terms with being under the 'male gaze' lots of validation, massages, talking seems like the way to go. Some girls make a conscious decision to be more liberal but their instincts are not yet ready.

I've mentioned it before by far the best way to prep a girl for sex imo is face down massage, I just work her up and down removing stuff until she's butt naked, then I start mixing in caresses like palm up her neck and along her side, when she's ready she starts squirming as I massage her ass and that's when I start rubbing her pussy and then take her from the back when she starts moaning. Simple.

Face down is important as some girls get very self conscious having you right there looking at them when they are nervous and just want to get the D. Face down allows them to just focus on the feeling and get to their happy place inside their head.