I'm lost. I've gotten to the point where I close regularly. If a girl is interested and the situation is right, we'll usually have sex and I can handle most situations. The thing is, I have sex with girls and they're clearly attracted, but then I won't hear from them again. I'm ok with being used for sex (if that is what's happening), but I'm at the point where I could go for having a girl to talk to or hang out with, not just have sex. This site has been great and has helped me to improve myself in a lot of different ways. But I can't help thinking that maybe the approach taken on this website isn't ideal. If I am going to have sex with a girl the first night I meet her, that has pretty much never led to anything further. It's like if I have sex with a girl she wants nothing more to do with me. This is probably why girls try to slow things down and get guys invested - but now I feel like I'm in that boat! Maybe I'm missing something. This is frustrating - can anyone relate to this?
You are most likely overgaming, seduction became mechanical process, thus there is no longer fun in it... Sleeping with girl is easy, You've most likely dissociated your emotions from any particular girl...
Try more natural approach, some silly flirting and teasing first, silly dates, even being little bit nice guy... I'm having lots of doubts myself - why sleeping with girl on first date? Sex in relationship is important, but if you are looking for more in-depth relationship there is much more to it... There is also empathy, good emotional connection... Sex is many times overrated, if you develop good connection with that girl she will eventually sleep with you anyway...
At this time I'm trying to develop good non-sexual friendship with girls. It's a good experience. Or try some platonic love, it's also quite interesting experience. First you sort of push the girl away with your affection, but then most of them will come back for more, especially if you try some eccentric stuff, LOL
Try more natural approach, some silly flirting and teasing first, silly dates, even being little bit nice guy... I'm having lots of doubts myself - why sleeping with girl on first date? Sex in relationship is important, but if you are looking for more in-depth relationship there is much more to it... There is also empathy, good emotional connection... Sex is many times overrated, if you develop good connection with that girl she will eventually sleep with you anyway...
At this time I'm trying to develop good non-sexual friendship with girls. It's a good experience. Or try some platonic love, it's also quite interesting experience. First you sort of push the girl away with your affection, but then most of them will come back for more, especially if you try some eccentric stuff, LOL
This could be due to the EFA or early frame announcement. Maybe through the date it's obvious to her that this is going to be a fling with the bad boy. It could be beneficial to focus more on deep diving, then as above, keep consistent post sex and pick up again with personal conversation rather than surface level fun chat.
You're much more experienced than me but I have had retention with almost every girl where we had a deep personal chat about her and then good sex. Plus they know it's not exclusive. The key is being crazy busy but pretty polite. If she feels you know her personally and take some interest in her life when together, the whole honest player thing goes a long way. We're talking like first date period sex twice now leading down a road of their attachment. Four girls now have mentioned babies. They can get really confused by a genuine player cause most guys don't know them better than most of their friends after one date and pillow talk. It's like is he a nice guy who wants to get married? No. Is he an asshole without any empathy? No. Well wtf is his deal then. Keeps her interested. Feeling understood and relating to topics focused on her causes the feelings of connection in a woman (along with her orgasm and associated oxytocin attachment, so do a lot of cuddling).
You're much more experienced than me but I have had retention with almost every girl where we had a deep personal chat about her and then good sex. Plus they know it's not exclusive. The key is being crazy busy but pretty polite. If she feels you know her personally and take some interest in her life when together, the whole honest player thing goes a long way. We're talking like first date period sex twice now leading down a road of their attachment. Four girls now have mentioned babies. They can get really confused by a genuine player cause most guys don't know them better than most of their friends after one date and pillow talk. It's like is he a nice guy who wants to get married? No. Is he an asshole without any empathy? No. Well wtf is his deal then. Keeps her interested. Feeling understood and relating to topics focused on her causes the feelings of connection in a woman (along with her orgasm and associated oxytocin attachment, so do a lot of cuddling).
I experience it from time to time with some girls as well, however, all of them got some weird factors like:
- Cuddling limiters -> They don't like certain things in bed and it turns weird at times. Ex. Handholding or certain positions.
- Less talkative after sex.
- They don't want to be at my place.
- Their girlfriends vouch for me.
- They don't need much info about me.
- They can be extremely horny.
I've gotten used to it. It's basically them having been attracted to you, due to vibe but not interested in anything long-term or your personality. For me it always ends with my brain saying; "she was a bit more weird than your regular person."
A lot of them are seeking validation through sex, more than your usual girl.
I personally prefer the ones I can talk with like my fb's ^^
- Cuddling limiters -> They don't like certain things in bed and it turns weird at times. Ex. Handholding or certain positions.
- Less talkative after sex.
- They don't want to be at my place.
- Their girlfriends vouch for me.
- They don't need much info about me.
- They can be extremely horny.
I've gotten used to it. It's basically them having been attracted to you, due to vibe but not interested in anything long-term or your personality. For me it always ends with my brain saying; "she was a bit more weird than your regular person."
A lot of them are seeking validation through sex, more than your usual girl.
I personally prefer the ones I can talk with like my fb's ^^
Definitely have had experiences like Man-O. One would move her hand away if ours touched accidentally, etc. She'd had a lot of one night stands and a couple long term boyfriends, and was also getting older searching for a husband. She eventually confessed having feelings for me and was having a tough time dealing with the whole casual thing after a few disappointing sexual encounters with other guys when I was too busy to respond to her. She was putting up a huge wall to not get too attached to me. Another girl would never save guys numbers in her phone just so she wouldn't get attached 'cause they'd never end up committing.
A lot of these girls may actually want to spend time with you and even be your girlfriend but just know it sure ain't gonna happen and have been there done that, so do a lot of self-protection if they've been hurt hard before.
It's the girl's job to chase for a relationship, even casual. All you do is invite her straight to your house to fuck for a second time and after she's locked in as a FB, just say you're hungry after sex and invite her along to a bakery or something for a quick bite. Fuck right away the next time after, then keep peppering in little date things or even just bring her in the living room for coffee after sex if you want to take a slow step out of the bedroom.
Blackdragon's podcast on the GC soundcloud might help out a lot (he speaks a bit on going on dates without being a boyfriend). I've been busy lately and am letting girls go, but was up to 4 at once actually going on dates here and there like walks by the water, little cafes, etc. before and after sex. It adds a lot of variability in the casual relationships, some emotional closeness that benefits her sexually, and more fucking in the park.
A lot of these girls may actually want to spend time with you and even be your girlfriend but just know it sure ain't gonna happen and have been there done that, so do a lot of self-protection if they've been hurt hard before.
It's the girl's job to chase for a relationship, even casual. All you do is invite her straight to your house to fuck for a second time and after she's locked in as a FB, just say you're hungry after sex and invite her along to a bakery or something for a quick bite. Fuck right away the next time after, then keep peppering in little date things or even just bring her in the living room for coffee after sex if you want to take a slow step out of the bedroom.
Blackdragon's podcast on the GC soundcloud might help out a lot (he speaks a bit on going on dates without being a boyfriend). I've been busy lately and am letting girls go, but was up to 4 at once actually going on dates here and there like walks by the water, little cafes, etc. before and after sex. It adds a lot of variability in the casual relationships, some emotional closeness that benefits her sexually, and more fucking in the park.
Drexel, saying that is shedding light on something I haven't thought much about but I realize to be very true. A lot of the girls I end up hooking up with/sleeping with have boyfriends. I actually like hooking up with girls in relationships (assuming I don't know the guy). What I hadn't thought about are the times I don't know if she has a boyfriend (I don't ask) and she probably does and is just looking for a fling with me.
So if I want to be finding a girl that will stick around, should I not sleep with her right off the bat? This site shows you how to bring a girl wherever and escalate quickly to sex - a useful tool in all types of relationships. But what if I want a more in-depth relationship, not just sex?
So if I want to be finding a girl that will stick around, should I not sleep with her right off the bat? This site shows you how to bring a girl wherever and escalate quickly to sex - a useful tool in all types of relationships. But what if I want a more in-depth relationship, not just sex?