I feel that every girl I date is very good and I know i'll want to stay with them long term and marry

[pazloves]

That's really it, the title of the post I mean.

"I feel that every girl I date is very good and I know i'll want to stay with them long term and marry."

I'm a pretty chill dude, good looking, minimal partying, currently building my own business while traveling around the world. I'd say my business is my main life focus besides fitness (Surf and BJJ). I'm turning 30 in a couple of months. Not into ONS and really right now I feel that I'm looking for potential candidates with which I can marry in 5-10 years. I prefer commited relationships as deep meaningful connections (its the same for friendships, business partners, family, etc.) feel better for me, I think they are a better use of my time.

So yeah the problem is whenever I meet a girl is either the girl is 1) below my standards (say 60-70% girls I meet), and 2) somewhat/up to the standard therefore marriage material I guess.

Problem is this is keeping me very lonely, I meet the girls I want sparsely and they are often not close to where I live. I'm currently holding some sort of long distance relationships talking with the girls I REALLY like and have videocalls with them and keep in touch, I'd be happy to tell one of them to come meet me and travel with me for a while and see if that works (when I'm financially ready).

I can do day game where I live and there are some beautiful girls sometimes since I live in a chill surf spot but they are tourists and not staying in the place so feel like a waste of time to me. On the gym its mostly guys so I've been thinking on going at least 1/week to a normal gym with more women. I also do online game and I do well there but most girls are low quality IMO.

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I'm rambling now. TLDR man on a mission no time to waste, when I meet a girl I really like makes me think I have to go all in or nothing (commited relationship). That's keeping me lonely and sexless. I'm a day game beginner and advanced online game player.

What do guys here think about this? Looking for some outside perspectives in this case.

Best,
Pablo

 

[DaVinciMatrixStyle]

Hey man!

I don't want to comment on what you should do regarding relationships because that's your choice. But I do want to point out that, what worked for me was that if I travel to a new city, I'd stay for a few months.

I would join MMA classes, dancing classes, or whatever classes with some local women. It helps me meet some locals and active while meeting some new girls at the same time.

This helps me with loneliness in a new country while not being needy because it keeps me busy with a social life.

 

[pazloves]

Hey man!

I don't want to comment on what you should do regarding relationships because that's your choice. But I do want to point out that, what worked for me was that if I travel to a new city, I'd stay for a few months.

I would join MMA classes, dancing classes, or whatever classes with some local women. It helps me meet some locals and active while meeting some new girls at the same time.

This helps me with loneliness in a new country while not being needy because it keeps me busy with a social life.

Thanks brother! Solid advice! I aim for the same, I'll look into attending to more social events

 

[pazloves]

bump!

 

[ulrich]

Hi @pazloves, welcome to the forums.

Well, the way you describe it… I’d say meeting 60-70% of girls who you just don’t really like that much it’s pretty normal.
If you have some standards and know what you want physically, you will usually discard the ones you don’t like really quick.

On the other hand, thinking that the remaining 30-40% are directly wife material sounds a little too eager for me.
Like if you don’t have much experience with women and are too much excited for girls you yet don’t know.
Maybe you just are a hopeless romantic but I’m more inclined to say that you lack some experience.

In that sense, I think it would be good for you to date around at least some 6 months or a year.
Get some friends with benefits or girlfriends but definitely don’t jump ship and marry the first girl you date.

As for the kind of girls you can meet in tourist hotspots… yes, most of them will be traveling and would be better fit for a one night stand or a friend with benefits… but if you keep your patience, eventually you should be able to find a local that meets your expectations or a girl who has the funds to travel often to visit you.
It seems like you have money too so it shouldn’t be a problem for you to travel and visit the girl or move to her location when you find the right one.

 

[pazloves]

Hi @pazloves, welcome to the forums.

Well, the way you describe it… I’d say meeting 60-70% of girls who you just don’t really like that much it’s pretty normal.
If you have some standards and know what you want physically, you will usually discard the ones you don’t like really quick.

On the other hand, thinking that the remaining 30-40% are directly wife material sounds a little too eager for me.
Like if you don’t have much experience with women and are too much excited for girls you yet don’t know.
Maybe you just are a hopeless romantic but I’m more inclined to say that you lack some experience.

In that sense, I think it would be good for you to date around at least some 6 months or a year.
Get some friends with benefits or girlfriends but definitely don’t jump ship and marry the first girl you date.

As for the kind of girls you can meet in tourist hotspots… yes, most of them will be traveling and would be better fit for a one night stand or a friend with benefits… but if you keep your patience, eventually you should be able to find a local that meets your expectations or a girl who has the funds to travel often to visit you.
It seems like you have money too so it shouldn’t be a problem for you to travel and visit the girl or move to her location when you find the right one.

Thanks, yeah I'm eager. Tired of being alone I'd say. I have some experience with women from when I was younger but I'm very rusty right now spending most of my last 3-4 years building my career. And I'm still far from my goal. I'll find balance.

I'm taking your advice try to relax and not think so much long term

 

[trashKENNUT]

What do guys here think about this? Looking for some outside perspectives in this case.

The problem with finding quality girls and settling down now is that you are used to girls who are not your standards and then suddenly, she is something special.

As for finding girls who suits you, it's more of value systems aligning with you, and then which phase of her life is she at compared to yours.

That's more of finding and socializing.
Changing the places that you hang out with.
Tweaking the way you come across with this girls, yet still retains that sexy best version of you.

SIdenote:

A lot of divorces is due to a female who is in her experiment phase, meeting a guy who is in his harvesting phase.

It's a clash.
Similarly, many PUA guys here who become married/enlightened/woke, will have a lot of clashes with guys here because both sides cannot see their past self/dark side.

Something which All Men must faced because the internet will expose him. His future children will remind him. Allah Taala/Jesus Christ/Universe... will keep poking him, until he completes his full story arc.

Woke-ism is a reflection of Men.

z@c+

 

[pazloves]

The problem with finding quality girls and settling down now is that you are used to girls who are not your standards and then suddenly, she is something special.

I find this true, it's not they're that amazing, just better than average.

That's more of finding and socializing.
Changing the places that you hang out with.
Tweaking the way you come across with this girls, yet still retains that sexy best version of you.

This is good, sounds like finding more places to socialize, places where I can have fun and find the one I want. Solid advice it always come to stop being a lazy bastard and go search for what I want.

Allah Taala/Jesus Christ/Universe... will keep poking him, until he completes his full story arc.

Woke-ism is a reflection of Men.

I didn't get this part. I understand the story arc, I believe you mean here "The Hero's Journey"? https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Hero's_journey

What do you mean wokeism is a reflection of men? Do I come across as a woke person to you?

 

[trashKENNUT]

I didn't get this part. I understand the story arc, I believe you mean here "The Hero's Journey"? https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Hero's_journey

I like to go on a rant on the forums.
Let's just keep it at that. I feel like I'm an old man at times.

but I do believe in a hero's journey.

A hero's journey, in my limited knowledge. Given an example. If I were to believe in religion today, I'm stronger and more powerful than a lot of the believers out there.

In fact, i can choose Islam or Christianity today, as an example, and give a powerful evidence based thinking on not only experience but also the traditional way of thinking as well as the modern way of thinking, along with my blueprint.

And communicate with humans with empathy, kindness, that God send vibe, that nonjudgmental light.

My conviction about the belief is operating from the source of a meaning, not third party.

To make it in dating terms, you accumulate your feel of knowing because you have experienced failure, and you have experienced success, and you have also experience multitude of the same scenarios.

Thus, you know.

 

[trashKENNUT]

What do you mean wokeism is a reflection of men? Do I come across as a woke person to you?

Nah nah. I like to rant, like an old men.

Woke-ism is a reflection of men, is an analogy made by me. That when I start showing the guys here, what they don't see, they kinda start to be curious that they might not see a lot of things that they think they know.

And of course, this is just me getting the vibes from them. They still need to recognize it first.

z@c+

 

[pazloves]

Sounds good @ZacAdam

We're all on a hero's journey, even if we don't want to or don't recognize it. Being conscious is a lifelong effort. You do write like an old man. Best of wishes brother!

 

[CassieDon]

I always feel that when I get to know them. Then I know them more, I think "hell no, I don't want to live with you". XD