I finally realized why I am still sad over missing out on the college experience

[Indian Race Troll (IRT)]

College for me was total hell, I mean complete and total hell to the point that I wanted to kill myself but after taking days to really think about why I am still depressed over having missed out, I finally understand.

Its this feeling of knowing that when it comes to social life and the fun associated with meeting cool people as well as women, nothing will ever really rival that time of life and I missed it. Even now I feel like as a grown guy, I can meet women and I can get dates but I don't have that opportunity to make friends with cool guys anymore because after the age of 25, most guys fucking suck. A lot of them want to get married, have kids and are over their prime days of partying and drinking while here I am using dating apps and sleeping with randoms.

It is just that feeling of knowing that while I can get as much sex as I want, I will never get to have a lot of friends who are fun, look good and enjoy things like partying and drinking on the weekends. I will never be that guy with cool guy friends he just hang out with, rely on or have as bros to go out to the club with. I will never have that crew to hit parties and events with because there is none of that after college unless you get in with some very sketchy people.

Just dawned on me that I don't envy billionaires that are older nearly as much as an 18 year college kid starting life at a top 5 party school...

Its not that I missed out on it, it is that I have nothing to look forward to socially and in terms of fun anymore because after college, most people your age just fucking suck.

 

[Hue]

Re: I finally realized why I am still sad over missing out on the college experi

Three questions:

1). Why are you shaming yourself like this?

2). Why do you think that college kids (boys) smashing beers on their heads are cooler than more developed and sophisticated men?

3). Why do you put the phrase "I will never" in front of all the things you want?

 

[Sub-Zero]

Re: I finally realized why I am still sad over missing out on the college experi

You would still feel the same way because that would have happened if you had fun in college or not.

Not everyone wants to do pick up like that.

You gotta learn how to be solo and make friends who want to pick up, college wouldn't change that because your friends would most likely want to settle down and you'll be in the same position.

Why not go back to school again and just take some classes and make friends?

You have two options and I think it's best for you to go back and get some classes and try to relive college somewhat. Go somewhere farther than where you're at so you can be the new kids on campus.

If not, u better make some friends on your own.

 

[Mr.Rob]

Re: I finally realized why I am still sad over missing out on the college experi

Edit: My former post was overwinded.

Peach, we've told you over and over again you can get any type of guy friend party crewe you want at your age.

I personally believe you cry all the time because its easier to say you missed out and can never achieve your dreams than putting in the hard work to go create the awesome social life you dream of.

Your posts are all the same. Move forward with your life and go actually create the life you dream of.

Franco can we set up a personal thread for Peach to cry at? Like the giant post we have on race and "I cant get girl because of x?"

 

[razir110]

Re: I finally realized why I am still sad over missing out on the college experi

I think that the cool college life is a bit of a myth. 99% of students don't really have the wild partying that is promoted to us by movies, etc. At least in Europe university parties are pretty normal, no wild stuff and the objective of being in uni is to kinda study, socialize, but it's not all about getting laid, bla bla This is an over-glorified image that US culture portraits.

My uni life was shit and I have to admit I was sad because of it, but now I have other objectives in life aside of getting laid and I think it even makes getting laid easier and when you don't, you just know that sex and being cool is not everything in life, so it doesn't oppress you so much.

 

[Michal]

Re: I finally realized why I am still sad over missing out on the college experi

Peach, this to me speaks like you need your wolf pack really.
And the best, easiest way to get one of those, is to join some sports team. Preferably something that you like, feel like you want to get better at and something that has at least some competition to it.

I played ice hockey most of my life. And the impression I got from sports is that for new age men in this centuary, sport is the place to show your inner warrior. To pursue something physically. Lifting wights is great, individual sports like tennis might be as well, but for me, team sports are the best. Yes, it depends on the team and what guys you have in that team. But I believe you can find your pack. I really recommend that.

 

[The Emerald Archer]

Re: I finally realized why I am still sad over missing out on the college experi

Smh Peach... what are we gonna do with you man? haha

First, I'd like to know where exactly you're getting these ideas about life and college from? You keep on saying how you missed out which means you have 0 experience of what college partying/socializing/getting laid is really like. Again you've said this over and over again not me. This tells me that you're most likely absorbing opinions you hear or read from the internet that's almost always the culprit when someone has no experience with something yet has very set in stone opinions and worldviews.

Going off of that I hope you realize that the internet can give you a lopsided worldview and inaccuracy of what's really going on out in the world. The only people that have incentive to post opinions on a reddit forum or such about how life is miserable after college or "what's life like after college?" are the ones that never figured it out for themselves and therefore tell everyone else that that's the way things are simply because that's just been their experience.

The dudes that are having a blast meeting new friends, partying, banging a bunch of girls, etc. you'll never hear of on the internet because THEY HAVE NO REASON TO POST ON THE INTERNET. When people post or search for advice on the internet it's usually because that area is a weakness for that person which is why they're seeking advice in the first place see?

Guy's life sucks socially after college --> thinks life sucks after college socially in general --> searches internet about if life after college sucks socially for people --> sees other people whose lives suck socially after college posting "yes it does" --> guy walks away convinced that life sucks socially after college and curses the Gods for making college the one time in a man's life where they can meet friends, party, and get laid in a "fun" environment.

Confirmation bias at its finest eh? As if people suddenly stop partying and meeting new friends as soon as they get their diploma lol.

One last thing this:

Peach, we've told you over and over again you can get any type of guy friend party crewe you want at your age.

I personally believe you cry all the time because its easier to say you missed out and can never achieve your dreams than putting in the hard work to go create the awesome social life you dream of.

Your posts are all the same. Move forward with your life and go actually create the life you dream of.

This is the elephant in the room man. I really think you make posts like these because it's easier to tell yourself some story about how life is a certain way after college because of [xyz] super rare/unique reasons than it is to discipline yourself to find the courage to conquer your social fears and insecurities. Putting in the work would mean you would have to hold yourself accountable and take responsibility for your social life God forbid.

So seriously man I hope this all resonates. I know this all might sound harsh but it looks like you need a serious jolt at this point to wake you up. Here's hoping you succeed going forward.

 

[Space]

Re: I finally realized why I am still sad over missing out on the college experi

Peach, in what country or countries the experience you are describing is relevant? Don't get me wrong, I get it that you are talking about the US and in the US college is supposed to be this special time craved out of your life. OK. What % of people in the US go to college? I also get most people find this site or at least this forum via Google by search terms most relevant to US college students. Chase claims most readers are not the target market for things like international travel, either. As far as I know in the US colleges are these special social circle bubbles, taking place in something that is called a college town, or separate campuses on the outskirts of major cities well separated from big city life. Maybe some other countries have a similar system to the US system as well. Which countries? I'm curious. In Europe, for comparison, universities (or colleges; hundreds of years ago these institutions here were called universities) are more integrated into big city life and culture. So more open minded college girls don't have to resort to 20-year old frat boys knowing nothing of life, but they are free to mingle with men of a little more experience and outside of their immediate circles while dutifully attending their classes during the day. Just to give you another perspective on life.

I've also heard that in US culture sexuality (like the whole of the culture, really) is like a performance tournament, that at certain age you have to have to achieve certain milestones, as it was depicted to us outsiders in movies like American Pie, and... which other movies? It goes beyond the topic, but the commonly held view of your country in the peripheries is that in the US this performance-mentality permeates not only in the sexual realm, but your whole life and culture. If you think about it deep down, what's the point of it, really? While in most of the rest of the world, we are a little more relaxed about everything. My 2 cents. (Old Mark Mason article when he was still good?)

 

[Indian Race Troll (IRT)]

Re: I finally realized why I am still sad over missing out on the college experi

I do need my wolfpack but it has been hard forming one. The only place I have seen the opportunity for it has been through a church group but all I get there are goody two shoes who think sex before marriage is a sin so I can't spend too much time around them.

As for sports teams, I joined a couple intramural leagues. One was a football league and it sucked hardcore, all we had on the team were selfish egos where everyone wanted to play the quarterback position and no one was on the team to really be friends or make friends with anyone. Needless to say that all of the teams lost and got wrecked because of that selfish ego.

It is like I am trying which is why I am even more frustrated because it has not been panning out into anything. I met one dude at a bar that seemed to be a cool guy at first but then I realized that guy is a freaking weirdo and had to run from that. The one friend I did have who I would go out with, well he just distanced himself from me recently when I got my new job.

I am in a tough spot because on one hand I want to live that player life of partying and meeting women, it involves drinking. On the other hand I cannot find any friends that want to come along in that journey, everyone seems to have a fucking beef with it and it irritates me.