- Joined
- Jan 26, 2013
- Messages
- 707
Hey gents,
Straight to it: my escalation was fucking disarmed super easily by the hottest girl that has ever been in my room. I have some theories why is that, stick until the end for them to make sense.
Hint: I lied when I shouldn't. I don't know if it's too late to make things right.
So...
I met this girl at my friend's place two weeks before on Saturday. I went there to watch a game with some friends and after that we still had plenty of beer left and me, the owner and another friend of ours threw a mini-party there.
The third guy had a girlfriend, and we asked him to ask her to bring some friends over. She had one friend available ("hot girl"), which the "owner friend" had hooked up before in the past. Story goes she actually hooked up with him. He had the chance to escalate and botched it, so I thought it was game for me.
Then the owner invited another female friend of his so we were even. They were showing me some pictures of the hot girl and I said "damn, this cuttie is mine" and he said "hey, get on the line!" half-joking. In all reality, it's VERY hard to know when he's joking and when he's not.
They got there and as always I'm veeeeery slow to get warmed up and get talkative with random girls in these group settings. I was talking to the owner friend before they got there, so I just kept chatting with him inside. Eventually we went outside and I grabbed a seat next to the hot girl he had hooked up before and he sat between her and his friend.
No one is really talking that much -- then we put some music on and started playing drinking and then the fun begun.
I started talking to her about her hand size and phone screen - easy way to get to touch her hands and all that shit. Generally I'd get her to put her hand on top of mine so we could measure our hands, but I was so fucking rusty that I didn't. She also didn't appear very willing to talk, kept texting and shit.
Anyways, ignored that and focused on the game for a while, and my friend started drinking a fucking lot and kept bantering with the hot girl and her other friend and I let him do his thing. Midway through the game, I realized she was giving me more attention than necessary.
It was our first time playing that particular game, so there was a heavy us vs the world dynamic going on, I kept touching her legs, her hands, grabbing the phone from her hands and overall having a good time. She was talking a lot just to me and kept siding with me in the game.
All the while, the owner was bantering all over the place with the other girl and they were having lots of fun.
The owner buddy drank a fucking lot and eventually went to his room to sleep and me and hot girl kept there talking. I started deep diving her a little bit and found out her birthday was going to be next Saturday:
We chatted a little bit more then I went to the bathroom. When I got out everyone was getting ready to leave (and I was going to get a ride with them), so I said I was gonna to check on the owner. Hot girl said she was coming with me to check on him.
I went to his bedroom, asked if he was OK and he said everything was OK.
Me and hot girl got back and started talking in a more private place (still on front of everyone, just far enough they couldn't hear us). Started deep diving her, asking about her jewelry and touching her arms and hands all the time. After 5 minutes of talk, her friend came over to say they were leaving so we got up and left with them.
(I really wonder if all that touching yield good results. I do it because I know you're supposed to do it, but I rarely feel more attracted to a girl, save an example I'll give below... Don't know if it is the same for them, but fuck it, I do it anyways.)
We ask the other girl the owner buddy invited over and she says she will sleep there.
They dropped me home first, and I was in the backseat with her. I kissed her goodbye and whispered "text me" and she said "I will."
Fifteen minutes later she texts me, I save her number then go to sleep. Next day we chat a little bit and I ask her out. She's on "exam season" and say it'll be hard for her to go out this week, and I don't want it to be too far away to keep momentum going.
She suggest next week (that would be this current week).
I say I'm busy as hell that time (I wasn't). We decide on Sunday.
On Monday I texted my buddy and asked if he fucked that other friend of his. He says he didn't, because she's actually a very close friend of his that has lots of hot friends. They never even kissed before. She just slept by his side and watched a movie when they woke up and she left.
Now, this left me on the fence and somewhat uncomfortable. I thought he fucked that girl. Now I'm not really sure if it's okay to go out with hot girl, if he was trying to fuck her or something. I think it over and shoot him a text on Wednesday explaining everything:
And eventually we settled on: wait for her to say something about it, and if she didn't, I was going to cancel.
Now, opening my heart to you guys -- part of me didn't want to cancel. I was so focused on my career for the past 4-6 months that I had just one pussy and was eager for a tight, wet new pussy to fuck. Thing is, I have a mindset of abundance and while emotionally I wanted to fuck her, I knew I could DEFINITIVELY find a girl, it's just that this was way easier and almost already done. But I wouldn't ever fuck her if my buddy was going to be pissed... It's just pussy.
But Thursday night I end up going to grab a bite with a female friend of mine and fuck, there were LOTS of sexual tension in the air. This was completely unscripted -- it's just that I managed to for the first time ever touch a girl properly, caressing her hands while making her fantasize about a threesome (note: very conservative girl) and I had a absurd boner doing it and she couldn't stop looking at my mouth.
She was alternating between my eyes and mouth so frenetically that I actually lost track of what I was talking about just paying attention to that. But that's story for another report - thing here is, it made me way, way less needy to go out with hot girl because emotionally my brain realized that yes, I have other options indeed. I have found another girl who I had a shot with after focusing on my career non-stop for so long.
So Friday afternoon I text him saying that hot girl didn't say anything and I was going to cancel. He says he actually talked to her after I talked to him (motherfucker), saying that he didn't sleep his friend and hot girl said "well, okay, I believe you, you got no reason to lie" (he sent me screenshots of the convo). I didn't really know what to think of that... He didn't send everything but it was definitively out of context. Couldn't tell if she cared or not.
I said to him that was unnecessary and I was going to look like a bitch and he probably doomed himself talking to her as well, but I was going to cancel as planned. Just one thing,
Several hours later he texts me:
I text hot girl on Sunday, we reschedule to Wednesday (yesterday).
On the date.
Man.
It was one of the "horriblest" dates of my life. Not because of my friend or the girl - she is a very, very cool girl. Super cute and interesting. But I was SO FUCKING RUSTY that I couldn't do ANYTHING properly.
After a long time I found my way to her place (I lost myself twice) and lots of calling to figure out the way, I got there. She got on the car and we talk for a while about the dozen reference points she gave me to get there, laughing, but the FIRST fucking thing she says after we got over that was:
And soon after that we started talking about something else.
I had to rely on plan B for everything for the night.
I had to forego my go-to restaurant for dates because she had already eaten - suggested we go for ice cream instead. OK, we went to a place where there's a lot of small restaurants purposefully so I get to move her and not be awkward.
I got her to talk about a story when she felt uncomfortable turning on the TV in a hotel in a porn channel and I shared a similar story as well but it never went from there.
(Damn, thinking about this right now there were so many things that I could've done or talked about. I'm so mad at myself as I write this, you have no fucking idea.)
She said she wanted some water at some point, so we got up to get it and finally we managed to sit in a corner after she got herself a bottle. She still did most of the talking and moved to more interesting topics to my objective that night - but still no sex.
We talked about how she hates her college classmates because she feels like in high school and everyone is so immature. "Like, there's this guy that asked me if I'd hook up with someone from our classroom, then I ignored the shit of him and three days after said no, and now he's super mean to me and shit... like, for real? I'm not obligated to date you, you know?"
We talked about the craziest things she did in parties (I was expecting sex), but instead she said she did drugs (LSD, mushrooms) a couple of times. Then asked me
Then she hid her face and said
Then she went on to talk about of her vision while high, but no sex. We talked about all kinds of electronic/trance parties that I loved, but aren't that common around here. We connected very well on this. I said I loved this kind of parties, but parties were somewhat lame (she felt the same way): loud music, I pay lots of $$$ just as entrance fees, $20 per drink, etc.
She talked about an upcoming party two weeks from now,
As I said, we connected well on this topic, she showed me a bunch of pics of parties, but I was un-fucking-able to get we talking explicitly about sex or create a sexual tension via touch or something like that. It was so close but I never steered the conversation that way.
It was getting late, we were there almost by ourselves and I got up and told her we had to get going. I didn't have the balls to just pull her to my place without context so I said I had to go to an ATM right down there to create 3-4 mins of walking and create a excuse of some kind to pull her. Didn't happen.
We were approaching my car, I thought of something to say... Didn't happen.
Started to drive and telling about a story of how we renovated my place and I got with a discussion with a friend of whether my wall were painted grey or otherwise and that I invited over other people and they were very 50-50. I made up another story of how I had to get some gas to buy me a little more time while I created the balls to pull her.
(THANK FUCKING GOD, at this I thought there was no way she'd go home with me. Awkward but hey, it fucking worked.)
She asked if we could get some food on the way and I said sure. We got her food and went to my place. I said she'd have to be quiet until we got to my room because my brother might be sleeping. She complied, as she hated when people wake her up as well (I always get a way to frame it like this during the date).
Since I fucking unable do to anything properly, this date was way longer than it should be already, around 1 am. We got to my room and she started eating her food and I patiently waited for to be done and shag her into another dimension. Then she did aaaand... I did absolutely nothing. I got closer to her and we kept chatting.
Eventually I tried to lay on my bed and "force" her by awkwardness to lay by my side (worked the other time I did this). She didn't do anything, kept chatting. I sat and said "hey, give my pillow" (it was on her lap) and she said "nooo, I'm wearing a skirt haha Here, lay on my lap."
I should've insisted on her laying with me on my bed, but I laid on her lap in the end. We kept chatting. I decided it was going nowhere. Sat back again. Tried to get closer to kiss her, and she started complaining about the time.
I pulled her back without that much intention to make her stay. Half-assed last effort to make her stay. She stood up and starting looking at her phone. I decided that FUCK IT, if I was going to fail I was going to risk it all. Got up, pulled her chin up and went for the kiss. She gave me the cheek, I tried again and she gave me the cheek again.
(Geez, reading that now seems a lot worse. I didn't want to convey that I don't fucking care about a very, very good friend of mine. I hope she doesn't talk about to him before I do.)
There you have it. Disarmed in one line. Because at this point I realized that was probably little I could do to save this catastrophe and remembered of a recent article Chase wrote. I quote:
Now I doubt that she left with the second impression, but insisting on in more seemed to be no good in my mind. I maintained my cool and still gracefully talked to her the whole way through, made jokes and shit. We got to her door, she kissed me on the cheek and gave a (very) tight hug, more than I'd expect when I realized she was going to hug me (I wasn't expecting one at all, in fact I just kept my hand on the handbrake.)
I asked her how do I get home, she tried to explain to me and I said "OK OK, I'll figure it out" and she kept insisting on explaining it to me and I said "look, if I get lost I'll call you" "so caaall me if you get lost, really!"
(In the end I did get fucking lost in my way back, ha! But I didn't call her.)
End of report.
Please guys, if you can only spare a few seconds, let it be to answer this: let me know if you think I should've have pushed harder at that point.
I don't have perspective to say if I should've pushed harder at that point or not.
I had the most awkward date of recent times, she was already telling me she had to go home for 5 minutes, just refused the most horrible attempt of kissing ever -- most of the time this doesn't happen. It really throws me off balance when a girl refuses to kiss me -- and was looking at her phone or some shit I didn't really know how to not look like a bitch insisting on it.
Also, please lean on giving me more aggressive advice. My mindset of abundance is solid by this point, and I won't "keep thinking about her" if she rejects me left and right. I just feel it's much faster to learn if I fail miserably than doing nothing because there's only a 2.33% change I'll fuck her. Fail, move on. Plus, I'm moving overseas in a couple of months, so I don't care that much about social repercussions.
I don't intend to stop talking to her for that reasons and because I really couldn't care less if she doesn't sleep with me by the end of all of this. If she invites me to that party, I most certainly will because it seems like a cool party, not because of her necessarily. I certainly won't be the guy from her class that gets all hatin' because girls won't fuck them.
I want to put what Chase said here,
Give me your best shots and I shall test them and report back.
PS: Should I try to talk to my buddy before proposing a second date with her? What would you say?
Straight to it: my escalation was fucking disarmed super easily by the hottest girl that has ever been in my room. I have some theories why is that, stick until the end for them to make sense.
Hint: I lied when I shouldn't. I don't know if it's too late to make things right.
So...
I met this girl at my friend's place two weeks before on Saturday. I went there to watch a game with some friends and after that we still had plenty of beer left and me, the owner and another friend of ours threw a mini-party there.
The third guy had a girlfriend, and we asked him to ask her to bring some friends over. She had one friend available ("hot girl"), which the "owner friend" had hooked up before in the past. Story goes she actually hooked up with him. He had the chance to escalate and botched it, so I thought it was game for me.
Then the owner invited another female friend of his so we were even. They were showing me some pictures of the hot girl and I said "damn, this cuttie is mine" and he said "hey, get on the line!" half-joking. In all reality, it's VERY hard to know when he's joking and when he's not.
They got there and as always I'm veeeeery slow to get warmed up and get talkative with random girls in these group settings. I was talking to the owner friend before they got there, so I just kept chatting with him inside. Eventually we went outside and I grabbed a seat next to the hot girl he had hooked up before and he sat between her and his friend.
No one is really talking that much -- then we put some music on and started playing drinking and then the fun begun.
I started talking to her about her hand size and phone screen - easy way to get to touch her hands and all that shit. Generally I'd get her to put her hand on top of mine so we could measure our hands, but I was so fucking rusty that I didn't. She also didn't appear very willing to talk, kept texting and shit.
Anyways, ignored that and focused on the game for a while, and my friend started drinking a fucking lot and kept bantering with the hot girl and her other friend and I let him do his thing. Midway through the game, I realized she was giving me more attention than necessary.
It was our first time playing that particular game, so there was a heavy us vs the world dynamic going on, I kept touching her legs, her hands, grabbing the phone from her hands and overall having a good time. She was talking a lot just to me and kept siding with me in the game.
All the while, the owner was bantering all over the place with the other girl and they were having lots of fun.
The owner buddy drank a fucking lot and eventually went to his room to sleep and me and hot girl kept there talking. I started deep diving her a little bit and found out her birthday was going to be next Saturday:
We chatted a little bit more then I went to the bathroom. When I got out everyone was getting ready to leave (and I was going to get a ride with them), so I said I was gonna to check on the owner. Hot girl said she was coming with me to check on him.
I went to his bedroom, asked if he was OK and he said everything was OK.
Me and hot girl got back and started talking in a more private place (still on front of everyone, just far enough they couldn't hear us). Started deep diving her, asking about her jewelry and touching her arms and hands all the time. After 5 minutes of talk, her friend came over to say they were leaving so we got up and left with them.
(I really wonder if all that touching yield good results. I do it because I know you're supposed to do it, but I rarely feel more attracted to a girl, save an example I'll give below... Don't know if it is the same for them, but fuck it, I do it anyways.)
We ask the other girl the owner buddy invited over and she says she will sleep there.
They dropped me home first, and I was in the backseat with her. I kissed her goodbye and whispered "text me" and she said "I will."
Fifteen minutes later she texts me, I save her number then go to sleep. Next day we chat a little bit and I ask her out. She's on "exam season" and say it'll be hard for her to go out this week, and I don't want it to be too far away to keep momentum going.
She suggest next week (that would be this current week).
I say I'm busy as hell that time (I wasn't). We decide on Sunday.
On Monday I texted my buddy and asked if he fucked that other friend of his. He says he didn't, because she's actually a very close friend of his that has lots of hot friends. They never even kissed before. She just slept by his side and watched a movie when they woke up and she left.
Now, this left me on the fence and somewhat uncomfortable. I thought he fucked that girl. Now I'm not really sure if it's okay to go out with hot girl, if he was trying to fuck her or something. I think it over and shoot him a text on Wednesday explaining everything:
And eventually we settled on: wait for her to say something about it, and if she didn't, I was going to cancel.
Now, opening my heart to you guys -- part of me didn't want to cancel. I was so focused on my career for the past 4-6 months that I had just one pussy and was eager for a tight, wet new pussy to fuck. Thing is, I have a mindset of abundance and while emotionally I wanted to fuck her, I knew I could DEFINITIVELY find a girl, it's just that this was way easier and almost already done. But I wouldn't ever fuck her if my buddy was going to be pissed... It's just pussy.
But Thursday night I end up going to grab a bite with a female friend of mine and fuck, there were LOTS of sexual tension in the air. This was completely unscripted -- it's just that I managed to for the first time ever touch a girl properly, caressing her hands while making her fantasize about a threesome (note: very conservative girl) and I had a absurd boner doing it and she couldn't stop looking at my mouth.
She was alternating between my eyes and mouth so frenetically that I actually lost track of what I was talking about just paying attention to that. But that's story for another report - thing here is, it made me way, way less needy to go out with hot girl because emotionally my brain realized that yes, I have other options indeed. I have found another girl who I had a shot with after focusing on my career non-stop for so long.
So Friday afternoon I text him saying that hot girl didn't say anything and I was going to cancel. He says he actually talked to her after I talked to him (motherfucker), saying that he didn't sleep his friend and hot girl said "well, okay, I believe you, you got no reason to lie" (he sent me screenshots of the convo). I didn't really know what to think of that... He didn't send everything but it was definitively out of context. Couldn't tell if she cared or not.
I said to him that was unnecessary and I was going to look like a bitch and he probably doomed himself talking to her as well, but I was going to cancel as planned. Just one thing,
Several hours later he texts me:
Then I visualize it but say nothing. Knowing him, he really meant it. Or just wanted for this to be over. He is a semi-natural that has the balls and put the hours to talk to lots of girls, but lack mindset. His lay count is double or triple of mine. We kept texting on the following days about totally unrelated stuff that we normally do like nothing happened and everything seems OK.
I text hot girl on Sunday, we reschedule to Wednesday (yesterday).
On the date.
Man.
It was one of the "horriblest" dates of my life. Not because of my friend or the girl - she is a very, very cool girl. Super cute and interesting. But I was SO FUCKING RUSTY that I couldn't do ANYTHING properly.
After a long time I found my way to her place (I lost myself twice) and lots of calling to figure out the way, I got there. She got on the car and we talk for a while about the dozen reference points she gave me to get there, laughing, but the FIRST fucking thing she says after we got over that was:
And soon after that we started talking about something else.
I had to rely on plan B for everything for the night.
I had to forego my go-to restaurant for dates because she had already eaten - suggested we go for ice cream instead. OK, we went to a place where there's a lot of small restaurants purposefully so I get to move her and not be awkward.
Thing is, I deep dived her a lot, made her talk about her parents, brothers, little hookups with her brother's friends that made them furious, but I couldn't zero in sex. I couldn't talk about the juicy stuff I normally do. I couldn't get her talking about what she thought about sex and shit. We were standing and sitting very awkwardly, side-by-side and there was a time she was actually facing the other way.
I got her to talk about a story when she felt uncomfortable turning on the TV in a hotel in a porn channel and I shared a similar story as well but it never went from there.
(Damn, thinking about this right now there were so many things that I could've done or talked about. I'm so mad at myself as I write this, you have no fucking idea.)
She said she wanted some water at some point, so we got up to get it and finally we managed to sit in a corner after she got herself a bottle. She still did most of the talking and moved to more interesting topics to my objective that night - but still no sex.
We talked about how she hates her college classmates because she feels like in high school and everyone is so immature. "Like, there's this guy that asked me if I'd hook up with someone from our classroom, then I ignored the shit of him and three days after said no, and now he's super mean to me and shit... like, for real? I'm not obligated to date you, you know?"
We talked about the craziest things she did in parties (I was expecting sex), but instead she said she did drugs (LSD, mushrooms) a couple of times. Then asked me
Then she hid her face and said
Then she went on to talk about of her vision while high, but no sex. We talked about all kinds of electronic/trance parties that I loved, but aren't that common around here. We connected very well on this. I said I loved this kind of parties, but parties were somewhat lame (she felt the same way): loud music, I pay lots of $$$ just as entrance fees, $20 per drink, etc.
She talked about an upcoming party two weeks from now,
As I said, we connected well on this topic, she showed me a bunch of pics of parties, but I was un-fucking-able to get we talking explicitly about sex or create a sexual tension via touch or something like that. It was so close but I never steered the conversation that way.
It was getting late, we were there almost by ourselves and I got up and told her we had to get going. I didn't have the balls to just pull her to my place without context so I said I had to go to an ATM right down there to create 3-4 mins of walking and create a excuse of some kind to pull her. Didn't happen.
We were approaching my car, I thought of something to say... Didn't happen.
Started to drive and telling about a story of how we renovated my place and I got with a discussion with a friend of whether my wall were painted grey or otherwise and that I invited over other people and they were very 50-50. I made up another story of how I had to get some gas to buy me a little more time while I created the balls to pull her.
(THANK FUCKING GOD, at this I thought there was no way she'd go home with me. Awkward but hey, it fucking worked.)
She asked if we could get some food on the way and I said sure. We got her food and went to my place. I said she'd have to be quiet until we got to my room because my brother might be sleeping. She complied, as she hated when people wake her up as well (I always get a way to frame it like this during the date).
Since I fucking unable do to anything properly, this date was way longer than it should be already, around 1 am. We got to my room and she started eating her food and I patiently waited for to be done and shag her into another dimension. Then she did aaaand... I did absolutely nothing. I got closer to her and we kept chatting.
Eventually I tried to lay on my bed and "force" her by awkwardness to lay by my side (worked the other time I did this). She didn't do anything, kept chatting. I sat and said "hey, give my pillow" (it was on her lap) and she said "nooo, I'm wearing a skirt haha Here, lay on my lap."
I should've insisted on her laying with me on my bed, but I laid on her lap in the end. We kept chatting. I decided it was going nowhere. Sat back again. Tried to get closer to kiss her, and she started complaining about the time.
I pulled her back without that much intention to make her stay. Half-assed last effort to make her stay. She stood up and starting looking at her phone. I decided that FUCK IT, if I was going to fail I was going to risk it all. Got up, pulled her chin up and went for the kiss. She gave me the cheek, I tried again and she gave me the cheek again.
(Geez, reading that now seems a lot worse. I didn't want to convey that I don't fucking care about a very, very good friend of mine. I hope she doesn't talk about to him before I do.)
There you have it. Disarmed in one line. Because at this point I realized that was probably little I could do to save this catastrophe and remembered of a recent article Chase wrote. I quote:
Now I doubt that she left with the second impression, but insisting on in more seemed to be no good in my mind. I maintained my cool and still gracefully talked to her the whole way through, made jokes and shit. We got to her door, she kissed me on the cheek and gave a (very) tight hug, more than I'd expect when I realized she was going to hug me (I wasn't expecting one at all, in fact I just kept my hand on the handbrake.)
I asked her how do I get home, she tried to explain to me and I said "OK OK, I'll figure it out" and she kept insisting on explaining it to me and I said "look, if I get lost I'll call you" "so caaall me if you get lost, really!"
(In the end I did get fucking lost in my way back, ha! But I didn't call her.)
End of report.
Please guys, if you can only spare a few seconds, let it be to answer this: let me know if you think I should've have pushed harder at that point.
I don't have perspective to say if I should've pushed harder at that point or not.
I had the most awkward date of recent times, she was already telling me she had to go home for 5 minutes, just refused the most horrible attempt of kissing ever -- most of the time this doesn't happen. It really throws me off balance when a girl refuses to kiss me -- and was looking at her phone or some shit I didn't really know how to not look like a bitch insisting on it.
Also, please lean on giving me more aggressive advice. My mindset of abundance is solid by this point, and I won't "keep thinking about her" if she rejects me left and right. I just feel it's much faster to learn if I fail miserably than doing nothing because there's only a 2.33% change I'll fuck her. Fail, move on. Plus, I'm moving overseas in a couple of months, so I don't care that much about social repercussions.
I don't intend to stop talking to her for that reasons and because I really couldn't care less if she doesn't sleep with me by the end of all of this. If she invites me to that party, I most certainly will because it seems like a cool party, not because of her necessarily. I certainly won't be the guy from her class that gets all hatin' because girls won't fuck them.
I want to put what Chase said here,
Give me your best shots and I shall test them and report back.
PS: Should I try to talk to my buddy before proposing a second date with her? What would you say?
