Fashion I Grew Out My Hair and People Won't Stop Hating lol. Any Advice?

[The Emerald Archer]

Context
As the title suggests, I decided to grow my curly hair for the first time.

Long story short, my barber who had been cutting my hair since 2016 found a new job at a tattoo/barbershop combo parlor thingy. I went from having to drive 10 min away for a haircut to a would've been 40 min drive.... so I decided to drop my barber. There were other reasons like him being negative and a drag to talk to, also saying that pretty much the only hairstyle I can do for my hair type is to buzz it short blah blah blah.

I'm somewhat pissed in retrospect tbh because all these years some "expert" had me believing a bunch of bullshit probably just to make his job a little easier but that's neither here nor there.

In the beginning, I didn't intend to grow my hair out, I just got lazy and procrastinated on finding a new barber/hairstylist. However, my good buddy (one who is game-aware and also takes care of his fundamentals/appearance) encouraged me to grow out my hair since he has long hair too.

He's half-Mexican and is sporting long hair that makes him look like a lover straight out of a romance novel haha. His hair looks just like Hector's did years back when he grew it out.

So here I am 6+ months and counting without a haircut. My last haircut was the week or so before Christmas 2023.

The number of approach invitations and warm receptions I get from girls have gone to the STRATOSPHERE (sadly I haven't been capitalizing but that's for another thread ha). One of my female managers was staring at my hair the other day when I walked in and just blurted out "I LOVE your hair like that!" haha. Seems like the females are digging my long hair ha.

Purpose Behind This Post

Funny things are starting to happen though. Some people (mainly other men) have started making those "critique-y" comments. Ya know the kinds people make when somebody STANDS OUT from the pack.

For one, this ignorant coworker of mine who is legit RACIST (constantly uses the n-word to describe black people among other things, always making jokes at others' expense based on racial stereotypes, etc.) keeps on making "jew jokes" because of my curly hair being a straight jew-fro (I'll have to make another thread about him and his "jokes").

Most recently my dad has been trying to get me to get a haircut trying to say I would "look better" blah blah. Hahaha as if he knows anything about men's fashion or hair.

I threw it back at him and asked him why I should get a haircut, so I could look like everybody else? And he replied "yup" to which I laughingly dismissed his comment and went meta saying "Everybody is jealous of my long curly hair."

He shut his yap real quick after that one and was salty for sure lol.

Deep down I kinda know the reason why these peeps keep hating: probably cuz they're jealous but also because I STAND OUT (in a good way).

I started styling my hair too and have been on a kick lately with all sorts of hair products and styling products, especially for curly hair. I'm still getting the hang of it, but man... for the first time in my life I feel like a true lover and I can't believe it!

Especially since I came from a "fighter" background lifting weights, prizing being tough and masculine, etc.

My half-mexican buddy gets it even worse than me and I know it's cuz guys are jealous. When you look at him, his looks/appearance screams "lover." Some ignorant dudes try to troll him calling him "Fabio" and constantly making little jabs about his long hair. But the chicks are intrigued by him cuz of his looks.

I'm grateful for having him as my friend because he's been encouraging me on my long hair journey telling me not to listen to those people, telling me how everyone is gonna be taking "jabs" at me, and making all sorts of little critiques because they're jealous.

I've started paying much more attention to other dudes' hairstyles and I must say I'm unimpressed. Seems like most dudes have the same haircut: buzzed short with minor differences between hairstyles lol. No wonder why most guys have shitty fundamentals.

So yeah that's the gist of it. This is the first time in my life I've grown out my hair and it's interesting, to say the least.

But low-key why do so many people care enough about my long, curly hair that they would take time out of their life to keep pressuring me to cut it short?

Is it cuz they're jealous and insecure because their hair would look bad if they grew it out?

Or maybe because they don't have the confidence in themselves to stand out from the pack, cuz they're scared of dealing with criticism from others?

Is it a "tool the guy who stands out just because he stands out" effect? Kinda like the old proverb "the nail that sticks up gets hammered down" type of thing?

What's a great Law of Least Effort way to deal with people who can't help but voice their (unsolicited) opinions about your hairstyle to show them their "advice" isn't going to influence a damn thing about my long hair?

If any of you gents have any experience growing your hair out and the different receptions it brings (good or bad), or what to expect from the people around you, or any other motivational advice/insight about the long hair journey I'd love to hear your thoughts. Please, don't be shy.

- Emerald

 

[Will_V]

Context
As the title suggests, I decided to grow my curly hair for the first time.

Long story short, my barber who had been cutting my hair since 2016 found a new job at a tattoo/barbershop combo parlor thingy. I went from having to drive 10 min away for a haircut to a would've been 40 min drive.... so I decided to drop my barber. There were other reasons like him being negative and a drag to talk to, also saying that pretty much the only hairstyle I can do for my hair type is to buzz it short blah blah blah.

I'm somewhat pissed in retrospect tbh because all these years some "expert" had me believing a bunch of bullshit probably just to make his job a little easier but that's neither here nor there.

In the beginning, I didn't intend to grow my hair out, I just got lazy and procrastinated on finding a new barber/hairstylist. However, my good buddy (one who is game-aware and also takes care of his fundamentals/appearance) encouraged me to grow out my hair since he has long hair too.

He's half-Mexican and is sporting long hair that makes him look like a lover straight out of a romance novel haha. His hair looks just like Hector's did years back when he grew it out.

So here I am 6+ months and counting without a haircut. My last haircut was the week or so before Christmas 2023.

The number of approach invitations and warm receptions I get from girls have gone to the STRATOSPHERE (sadly I haven't been capitalizing but that's for another thread ha). One of my female managers was staring at my hair the other day when I walked in and just blurted out "I LOVE your hair like that!" haha. Seems like the females are digging my long hair ha.

Purpose Behind This Post

Funny things are starting to happen though. Some people (mainly other men) have started making those "critique-y" comments. Ya know the kinds people make when somebody STANDS OUT from the pack.

For one, this ignorant coworker of mine who is legit RACIST (constantly uses the n-word to describe black people among other things, always making jokes at others' expense based on racial stereotypes, etc.) keeps on making "jew jokes" because of my curly hair being a straight jew-fro (I'll have to make another thread about him and his "jokes").

Most recently my dad has been trying to get me to get a haircut trying to say I would "look better" blah blah. Hahaha as if he knows anything about men's fashion or hair.

I threw it back at him and asked him why I should get a haircut, so I could look like everybody else? And he replied "yup" to which I laughingly dismissed his comment and went meta saying "Everybody is jealous of my long curly hair."

He shut his yap real quick after that one and was salty for sure lol.

Deep down I kinda know the reason why these peeps keep hating: probably cuz they're jealous but also because I STAND OUT (in a good way).

I started styling my hair too and have been on a kick lately with all sorts of hair products and styling products, especially for curly hair. I'm still getting the hang of it, but man... for the first time in my life I feel like a true lover and I can't believe it!

Especially since I came from a "fighter" background lifting weights, prizing being tough and masculine, etc.

My half-mexican buddy gets it even worse than me and I know it's cuz guys are jealous. When you look at him, his looks/appearance screams "lover." Some ignorant dudes try to troll him calling him "Fabio" and constantly making little jabs about his long hair. But the chicks are intrigued by him cuz of his looks.

I'm grateful for having him as my friend because he's been encouraging me on my long hair journey telling me not to listen to those people, telling me how everyone is gonna be taking "jabs" at me, and making all sorts of little critiques because they're jealous.

I've started paying much more attention to other dudes' hairstyles and I must say I'm unimpressed. Seems like most dudes have the same haircut: buzzed short with minor differences between hairstyles lol. No wonder why most guys have shitty fundamentals.

So yeah that's the gist of it. This is the first time in my life I've grown out my hair and it's interesting, to say the least.

But low-key why do so many people care enough about my long, curly hair that they would take time out of their life to keep pressuring me to cut it short?

Is it cuz they're jealous and insecure because their hair would look bad if they grew it out?

Or maybe because they don't have the confidence in themselves to stand out from the pack, cuz they're scared of dealing with criticism from others?

Is it a "tool the guy who stands out just because he stands out" effect? Kinda like the old proverb "the nail that sticks up gets hammered down" type of thing?

What's a great Law of Least Effort way to deal with people who can't help but voice their (unsolicited) opinions about your hairstyle to show them their "advice" isn't going to influence a damn thing about my long hair?

If any of you gents have any experience growing your hair out and the different receptions it brings (good or bad), or what to expect from the people around you, or any other motivational advice/insight about the long hair journey I'd love to hear your thoughts. Please, don't be shy.

- Emerald

Long hair has to be earned by, well, wearing it. If you want to stick out you have to prove that you can deal with what comes along.

My hair is the longest it's been (around my shoulders). I've gotten a few testing comments recently about it but I simply brush them off with a bit of frame control. I told one person that guys used to all have long hair and it was a sign of virility, all the ancient warriors used to have long hair and be proud of it from the arabs to the vikings, in the bible you could get killed for calling someone a baldy (old testament ofc) and that these days they are trying to make dudes all clean shaven and crewcut so they all look and feel the same in this conformist society. That pretty much closed the thread of that conversation.

Other things I suggest:

- Wear a beard, it makes the long hair look much more masculine
- Take care of the hair and don't walk around with a big mess
- Cultivate a very masculine look in other ways, for example the way you dress, the way you walk, the expression on your face, the way you talk etc

and just enjoy whatever heat comes along, after all what fun is there in hiding in the pack?

 

[Spyce D]

. I told one person that guys used to all have long hair and it was a sign of virility, all the ancient warriors used to have long hair and be proud of it from the arabs to the vikings, in the bible you could get killed for calling someone a baldy (old testament ofc) and that these days they are trying to make dudes all clean shaven and crewcut so they all look and feel the same in this conformist society.

Just curious, how did it became the norm to keep shorter hair and clean shaven compared to our ancestors ?

 

[Skills]

Long is not in style, volume at the top is in style...big hair on top in long length wise not

Op to your specific question:

Socializing - Why do seducers get picked on with amog, fights, disrespect....

So you are wondering why do people are picking on me with fights, sometimes rude comments, some times bad looks, some type people nitpicking on you.... Well is very simple (some times is strangers or even people in your circles women and men alike).... It is an inner frustration with the lack...

www.skilledseducer.com

 

[The Emerald Archer]

@Will_V

Long hair has to be earned by, well, wearing it. If you want to stick out you have to prove that you can deal with what comes along.

My hair is the longest it's been (around my shoulders). I've gotten a few testing comments recently about it but I simply brush them off with a bit of frame control. I told one person that guys used to all have long hair and it was a sign of virility, all the ancient warriors used to have long hair and be proud of it from the arabs to the vikings, in the bible you could get killed for calling someone a baldy (old testament ofc) and that these days they are trying to make dudes all clean shaven and crewcut so they all look and feel the same in this conformist society. That pretty much closed the thread of that conversation.

Other things I suggest:

- Wear a beard, it makes the long hair look much more masculine
- Take care of the hair and don't walk around with a big mess
- Cultivate a very masculine look in other ways, for example the way you dress, the way you walk, the expression on your face, the way you talk etc

and just enjoy whatever heat comes along, after all what fun is there in hiding in the pack?

The "testing comments" and the conformist part like you mentioned are the heart of what I was getting at with this thread.

Similar to when someone starts losing weight and at first they cheer him/her on, but when they start losing so much fat and start to look REALLY GOOD (putting everyone else to shame) the naysayers make comments like "Slow your roll, you don't want to get too lean" or how exercise/fitness is their "personality" now (lol whatever that means).

Good point about earning long hair by proving that you can take the pressure that comes with standing out. I'll have to reference that on my worst days when some of this stuff starts to irk me more than usual.

That's interesting about long hair and ancient warriors. I did not know that. Funny how trends change throughout history. What's considered weird and out of the norm today was once the standard/ideal back then ha. I too am curious like @Spyce D as to how short hair and clean-shaven came to be the norm, if you don't mind sharing Will.

As per your suggestions:

- Wear a beard, it makes the long hair look much more masculine --> CHECK! Currently maintaining my beard between 5-6mm (a 10-day stubble if you will)

- Take care of the hair and don't walk around with a big mess --> I was guilty of this up until 1-2 weeks ago. I started to get this under control by buying specific shampoos + conditioners meant for curly hair, plus curl cream/styling products. I also just started using a silk/satin pillowcase and a microfiber towel to dry my hair to reduce frizz.

- Cultivate a very masculine look in other ways, for example the way you dress, the way you walk, the expression on your face, the way you talk etc --> CHECK! I have big muscles for my height. I walk and carry myself confidently with my head up and chin parallel to the ground. I move slowly and (mostly) deliberately. I naturally take up space everywhere I go without even trying (again cuz big muscles) and almost everyone moves out of my way without me even trying to be "tough guy" about it. It's even gotten to the point where I might have to tone some of it down and start upping attainability more because of some intimidation issues I've been running into haha.

and just enjoy whatever heat comes along, after all what fun is there in hiding in the pack?

Absolutely! There's no fun in being a normie

Thanks for the feedback Will!

@Skills

Long is not in style, volume at the top is in style...big hair on top in long length wise not

Ah, I see. So volume at the top is in style, just so long as it's not super long correct? Something like medium length on top but short sides?

My hair is super curly but not African-American afro thick and coarse. I still have some a little waviness and texture. The best way I can describe is jewfro. Low-key looks like a curly helmet on top of my head (although a stylish helmet if I do say so myself

For what it's worth I do want to get it cut, just not too short or anything. And definitely not because of other people applying subtle social pressure.

I love my curls! I just want to reduce some of the overall volume while still maintaining all my curls. Maybe get it trimmed an inch or two a couple of times per year or something like that is what I'm thinking.

Do you think that would still be out of style?

I still need to do some research on curly hairstyles for men. That's the last major to-do I need to do for my hairstyle fundamental.

P.S. Thanks for linking that post. I realize you probably get tired of constantly linking to it in every thread related to tooling, status jockeying, etc. but it's always a good read and it's one of those major concepts that you can never ingrain into someone's brain enough.

 

[Will_V]

Just curious, how did it became the norm to keep shorter hair and clean shaven compared to our ancestors ?

I too am curious like @Spyce D as to how short hair and clean-shaven came to be the norm, if you don't mind sharing Will.

That's a good question fellas! I'm not entirely sure.

Short hair is mainly used nowadays in the military to create a sense of conformity among the ranks. Pretty much the first thing that happens to you as a new recruit is you get your head shaved, and it is supposed to communicate to you that you aren't any different from anyone else, and your identity is now part of the collective military identity.

The same thing often happens when you go to prison, for the same reason. It's a way to sort of break you in and make you feel like you have no independence, to create behavioral obedience to the existing order.

In slightly more subtle ways, work culture (at least until recently) strongly encouraged men to have short hair and clean shaven faces, and again this is a way of creating a sense of conformity, this time to the social order and organizational hierarchy.

Going back in history, it seems like the Romans are the ones who first started the culture of short hair for men. It's not surprising - the Romans conquered other civilizations by making them submit and incorporating them into the empire and its own armies. One way to homogenize the ranks when you have a lot of different cultures side by side would be to make them all cut their hair, reducing any apparent sense of difference between them.

It seems to me that the cultures in which long hair was most valued were the ones which were most independent and heterogeneous. That is to say that they were not commonly assimilating new subjects from outside the culture into it, so that they had no need to flatten the identity of diverse people.

Beyond that I'm not really sure if there are other reasons - but now I'm interested to look into it further!

 

[Skills]

@Will_V



The "testing comments" and the conformist part like you mentioned are the heart of what I was getting at with this thread.

Similar to when someone starts losing weight and at first they cheer him/her on, but when they start losing so much fat and start to look REALLY GOOD (putting everyone else to shame) the naysayers make comments like "Slow your roll, you don't want to get too lean" or how exercise/fitness is their "personality" now (lol whatever that means).

Good point about earning long hair by proving that you can take the pressure that comes with standing out. I'll have to reference that on my worst days when some of this stuff starts to irk me more than usual.

That's interesting about long hair and ancient warriors. I did not know that. Funny how trends change throughout history. What's considered weird and out of the norm today was once the standard/ideal back then ha. I too am curious like @Spyce D as to how short hair and clean-shaven came to be the norm, if you don't mind sharing Will.

As per your suggestions:

- Wear a beard, it makes the long hair look much more masculine --> CHECK! Currently maintaining my beard between 5-6mm (a 10-day stubble if you will)

- Take care of the hair and don't walk around with a big mess --> I was guilty of this up until 1-2 weeks ago. I started to get this under control by buying specific shampoos + conditioners meant for curly hair, plus curl cream/styling products. I also just started using a silk/satin pillowcase and a microfiber towel to dry my hair to reduce frizz.

- Cultivate a very masculine look in other ways, for example the way you dress, the way you walk, the expression on your face, the way you talk etc --> CHECK! I have big muscles for my height. I walk and carry myself confidently with my head up and chin parallel to the ground. I move slowly and (mostly) deliberately. I naturally take up space everywhere I go without even trying (again cuz big muscles) and almost everyone moves out of my way without me even trying to be "tough guy" about it. It's even gotten to the point where I might have to tone some of it down and start upping attainability more because of some intimidation issues I've been running into haha.



Absolutely! There's no fun in being a normie





Ah, I see. So volume at the top is in style, just so long as it's not super long correct? Something like medium length on top but short sides?

brah! didn't i link a video, nooo volume on top thickness, not LONG, get it... Here is a pic:

I don't see cool guys in or out of clubs with long hair, is out of style...^ that is what is in style... thick on top.... Just like super skinny jeans out, same shit...

 

[Warped Mindless]

The number of approach invitations and warm receptions I get from girls have gone to the STRATOSPHERE (sadly I haven't been capitalizing but that's for another thread ha). One of my female managers was staring at my hair the other day when I walked in and just blurted out "I LOVE your hair like that!" haha. Seems like the females are digging my long hair ha.

Skills is right that long hair isn’t what’s “trendy” right now but what’s trendy is not always what’s attractive to women. And some things never stop looking good as long as it’s done right.

Skinny jeans are no longer trendy but women compliment my style all the time. If women like it, keep your long hair and just make sure to take care of it.

 

[Gorili]

- Take care of the hair and don't walk around with a big mess --> I was guilty of this up until 1-2 weeks ago. I started to get this under control by buying specific shampoos + conditioners meant for curly hair, plus curl cream/styling products.

For shampoo and conditioners, I personally recommend SheaMoisture for both. This brand is specifically designed for people with curly hair.

For styling, I recommend TRESemme, as this is the brand used at a lot of hair salons.

My hair is super curly but not African-American afro thick and coarse. I still have some a little waviness and texture. The best way I can describe is jewfro. Low-key looks like a curly helmet on top of my head (although a stylish helmet if I do say so myself

There's actually a scale to describe curly hair. From your description, you're probably in the 3 range.

I love my curls! I just want to reduce some of the overall volume while still maintaining all my curls.

I would strongly recommend mousse if you're not afraid of its drying effects. It reduces frizz (which you're describing as volume), while enhancing the effects of the curls.

 

[ulrich]

Going back in history, it seems like the Romans are the ones who first started the culture of short hair for men. It's not surprising - the Romans conquered other civilizations by making them submit and incorporating them into the empire and its own armies. One way to homogenize the ranks when you have a lot of different cultures side by side would be to make them all cut their hair, reducing any apparent sense of difference between them.

I’m pretty sure the Roman soldiers (and the Greek before them) shaved and had short hair because in a fight you can be grabbed by the hair and beard.


Also the nobles would use it as a way to appear clean and refined.

I won’t object the depersonalization tactics that you mention… I think both can be true… just adding more context.
A beard provides no tactical advantage in an actual fight.

 

[Will_V]

I’m pretty sure the Roman soldiers (and the Greek before them) shaved and had short hair because in a fight you can be grabbed by the hair and beard.


Also the nobles would use it as a way to appear clean and refined.

It seems like those were additional aspects, or perhaps a rationale for something brought about for other reasons. I don't know enough about the history of it to know for sure. But my understanding is that the Roman empire represented a sort of world order, as opposed to a naturally-developed long-standing culture, and because of this - much like more modern world orders - it seeks to create a sense of unity through a flattening of the collective identity, rather than having a unique identity of its own that is developed and shared amongst its members.

So for example being clean shaven and with short cut hair might represent 'non-barbarian', the same way that wearing a suit and tie today represents 'high class' - it's not actually a cultural identity but an aesthetic conformity to a kind of social class.

It's interesting that the Spartans, who lived and breathed war from the moment they were born, saw no risk in keeping both the hair and the beard.

I won’t object the depersonalization tactics that you mention… I think both can be true… just adding more context.
A beard provides no tactical advantage in an actual fight.

No, it doesn't. But a beard is instinctively something a man is proud of, because it signifies something that a boy or a woman cannot achieve. And both hair and beard can be styled, which offers plenty of opportunity for creating both a cultural and individual identity through one's appearance - like the Vikings did for example. I think both these reasons are why many cultures always venerated them.

But if they are both gone, it's very easy to bring all kinds of different people into a group and make them look and feel like they are all the same.

Which is what you want if you are an empire.

 

[Chase]

@The Emerald Archer,

Men comment on it because it makes them uncomfortable. Long hair creates cognitive dissonance in men from societies where men typically do not wear their hair long. Beyond that:

• To people who want you to be respectable and professional (e.g., your Dad, bosses if you work in the corporate world, etc.), long hair on a man is unsettling because it brands you as becoming a looser cannon who is not as concerned with respectability and professionalism as other (more conformist) men are.
  
  
• To random single guys, long hair is intimidating because it says, all at once, "I don't need to conform to survive like you do," plus, if you look GOOD (and based on the reactions from girls, you probably look good), "I have better game than you and your girl probably wants me to fuck her."

As far as responding to it... a lot of the times you can just shrug it off. You can have fun with it... e.g., if I wear my reddish-brown hair down and have let my stubble grow out a bit too far, I have had guys go, "It's Jesus!" ... I just give them the priest blessing and tell them "Go in peace, my son":

If I have family suggest I cut it, I just say, "As soon as I get another corporate job, that'll be the first thing I do." (I'm never getting another corporate job)

If friends/etc. say I should cut my hair, I ask them why, do they think I can get a lot (of money) for my locks? (i.e., a "you mean I should sell my hair" joke)

Girlfriends will try to get you to cut your hair for similar reasons family wants you to cut it: to make you more 'respectable' and less of a bad boy / sexual threat. (women will often encourage their guys to grow large beards and dress in less stylish clothes for the same reasons)

Skills is right that long hair isn’t what’s “trendy” right now but what’s trendy is not always what’s attractive to women. And some things never stop looking good as long as it’s done right.

Skinny jeans are no longer trendy but women compliment my style all the time. If women like it, keep your long hair and just make sure to take care of it.

Yeah.

Long hair hasn't been 'in' for men since the 1980s. It still signals what it signals and makes you look how it makes you look regardless. Girls were still swooning for long-haired Brad Pitt in the 90s, Legolas in LOTR in the early 2000s, Chris Hemsworth's Thor in the 2010s. None of these guys were trendy with their hairstyles (though ironically the website is called "The Trend Spotter"):

https://www.thetrendspotter.net/guys-with-long-hair/

Trendy stuff can definitely be sexy. But a sexy guy with long hair vs. a sexy guy with trendy hair are competing in different categories:

15 Dudes That Prove Guys With Long Hair Are Absolute Dreamboats

You'll never question if long hair is hot ever again.

www.sofeminine.co.uk

Chase

P.S.

I’m pretty sure the Roman soldiers (and the Greek before them) shaved and had short hair because in a fight you can be grabbed by the hair and beard.

Soldiers going clean-shaven in the Greco-Roman world started with Alexander the Great! It was not for practical reasons; it was because he just had peach fuzz and couldn't grow a beard, but was so badass he kicked off a trend that led to soldiers shaving their beards, and that trend endured for centuries.

 

[Skills]

When i write i try not to project, but instead go on what i am experiencing in clubs in the target pua demo...

16 to 24 depending on geographical location, i already made a post addressing what is optimal:

The fallacy of seduction success part 3 - What is optimal??

First definition: "best; most likely to bring success or advantage: Several treatment sessions are required in order to obtain optimal results. Conditions in the chamber are optimal for diffusion, reaching very high temperatures. Synonym the best or most effective possible in a particular...

www.skilledseducer.com

The lumber jack long hair looked rocked by pure evil and other seducers involved long hair and was popular in 2014 till i believe 2018...

Op you can rock your long hair if is getting you laid and you are happy awesome....if you want to be optimal and field test like Guys from my crew that are getting laid constantly with target demo and matches what i am seeing in clubs in South Florida...then you are more than welcome to field test.... however if you are wearing super skinny jeans, tight shirts and chelsea while rocking your long hair, with a full beard.... The ladder things i mention all outdated...then be my guest i personally can't afford at my age in demo clubs not to be as optimal as possible... specially on this environment...

 

[The Emerald Archer]

Hey Gents! Sorry for leaving you all hanging the past couple of weeks. Anyways, getting back to responding now!

@Chase

Men comment on it because it makes them uncomfortable. Long hair creates cognitive dissonance in men from societies where men typically do not wear their hair long. Beyond that:

• To people who want you to be respectable and professional (e.g., your Dad, bosses if you work in the corporate world, etc.), long hair on a man is unsettling because it brands you as becoming a looser cannon who is not as concerned with respectability and professionalism as other (more conformist) men are.
  
  
• To random single guys, long hair is intimidating because it says, all at once, "I don't need to conform to survive like you do," plus, if you look GOOD (and based on the reactions from girls, you probably look good), "I have better game than you and your girl probably wants me to fuck her."

Yes! This is what I was getting at with my thread. The "why" behind those reactions from other men.

I can sympathize with folks like my dad or other authority figures who want me to be respectable and professional. That makes sense. Although I've always been a rebel and nonconformist at heart. It's just now my externals match my internals ha.

As for random single guys, they should be intimidated haha. But again the "why" behind that is interesting. Especially how long hair signals that you don't need to conform to survive like other men do. It all makes sense now why girls are attracted to men who stand out like bad boys, rebels, etc,

Seems like most men need to conform because they need that social safety net and can't survive without it. Meanwhile, if a man isn't afraid of not conforming it must say good things about his strength of character and strength of frame.

As far as responding to it... a lot of the times you can just shrug it off. You can have fun with it... e.g., if I wear my reddish-brown hair down and have let my stubble grow out a bit too far, I have had guys go, "It's Jesus!" ... I just give them the priest blessing and tell them "Go in peace, my son":

If I have family suggest I cut it, I just say, "As soon as I get another corporate job, that'll be the first thing I do." (I'm never getting another corporate job)

If friends/etc. say I should cut my hair, I ask them why, do they think I can get a lot (of money) for my locks? (i.e., a "you mean I should sell my hair" joke)

Girlfriends will try to get you to cut your hair for similar reasons family wants you to cut it: to make you more 'respectable' and less of a bad boy / sexual threat. (women will often encourage their guys to grow large beards and dress in less stylish clothes for the same reasons)

Haha that priest blessing is gold! I could benefit from being more playful and less serious about stuff like that.

I'll keep those recommendations for responses in mind and will be coming back to those for sure in the future.

@Skills

brah! didn't i link a video, nooo volume on top thickness, not LONG, get it... Here is a pic:

I don't see cool guys in or out of clubs with long hair, is out of style...^ that is what is in style... thick on top.... Just like super skinny jeans out, same shit...

Ah ok I gotcha now. Yeah my main style was short sides and slightly longer hair on top before I started growing out my hair. I was thinking of going back to those proportions, kind of like an undercut, just with longer hair overall.

I'm just concerned that I'll have to keep getting haircuts every 3-6 weeks which is what I'm trying to avoid.

Op you can rock your long hair if is getting you laid and you are happy awesome....if you want to be optimal and field test like Guys from my crew that are getting laid constantly with target demo and matches what i am seeing in clubs in South Florida...then you are more than welcome to field test.... however if you are wearing super skinny jeans, tight shirts and chelsea while rocking your long hair, with a full beard.... The ladder things i mention all outdated...then be my guest i personally can't afford at my age in demo clubs not to be as optimal as possible... specially on this environment...

Fair enough bro, I appreciate your feedback. I want to get at least a trim and take some volume off my entire hair. Just not sure how I want to go about it.

I definitely need to spend some more time researching different curly hair styles to see which one aligns with where I'm looking to take my hairstyle.

Thanks for pointing out modern trends, it's an area I haven't been the strongest at so I envy anyone who possesses those skills (no pun intended

Skills is right that long hair isn’t what’s “trendy” right now but what’s trendy is not always what’s attractive to women. And some things never stop looking good as long as it’s done right.

Skinny jeans are no longer trendy but women compliment my style all the time. If women like it, keep your long hair and just make sure to take care of it.

Yup sounds good. If I decide to keep my hair long I will make sure that I take care of it. Thanks!

@Gorili

For shampoo and conditioners, I personally recommend SheaMoisture for both. This brand is specifically designed for people with curly hair.

For styling, I recommend TRESemme, as this is the brand used at a lot of hair salons.

Ha nice! Both my conditioner and leave-in conditioner are from SheaMoisture. Great brand!

I don't think I've heard of TRESemme, but I'll look into. Thanks for the recommendations.

I would strongly recommend mousse if you're not afraid of its drying effects. It reduces frizz (which you're describing as volume), while enhancing the effects of the curls.

Believe it or not I just bought some mousse a few weeks ago. It's olive oil with coconut oil hold and shine mousse. I love it! Smells great and enhances my curls as you mentioned.

Good stuff Gorili!

 

[James Cruse]

I had a similar experience:

I got a metric TONNE of hate from guys I work with and a few of my friends when I grew a beard for the first time.

I have a thick, consistantly beard and it’s well coloured.

I didn’t really understand why I was getting shit for simply having a beard, it made no sense.

I was getting ALOT more attention from women and comments on how much better it looked.

I found out later from other guys telling me the guys that were hating were jealous because they couldn’t grow full stubble beards because there’s was so inconsistant, patchy &/or grey.

Apparently being able to grow a beard inspires significant jealousy in other men.

 

[Francis]

“In America then, if you had long hair, you were a faggot as well as a freak,” Richards wrote in his 2010 memoir Life. “Dean Martin introduced us as something like, ‘these long-haired wonders from England, the Rolling Stones…They’re backstage picking fleas off one another.’ A lot of sarcasm and eye rolling.”

Fisherian runaway - Wikipedia

en.m.wikipedia.org

Fisherian runaway or runaway selection is a sexual selection mechanism proposed by the mathematical biologist Ronald Fisher in the early 20th century, to account for the evolution of ostentatious male ornamentation by persistent, directional female choice.[1][2][3] An example is the colourful and elaborate peacock plumage compared to the relatively subdued peahen plumage; the costly ornaments, notably the bird's extremely long tail, appear to be incompatible with natural selection.

I think getting clowned by other guys and not letting it phase you in front of girls would be indicator of preselection, and perhaps better than not getting clowned at all.

I.e. "peacocking"

Doesn't Alek wear sequined jackets?

 

[Francis]

I am still not sold on baggy style. I definitely believe being on-trend beats being on-old-trends. But unless you are the one setting the trends, being led around by trends sounds like follower behavior.

I cannot argue with Skills' field tested optimizations. However, men's suiting went from old man baggy style to super slim with hovering hems. Proper tailoring cuts through all of that.

Personally I am seeing every single fashionable girl wearing the same shit. Fairly faded straight cut, often with chunkier sneakers like air force ones. Or alternatively lightweight black super flowy pants. The more fashionable ones may wear medium-dark grey denim instead of faded light blue. Often carpenter-pant stitching just short of a hammer loop. They're all the same. It becomes basic bitch fashion.

 

[Francis]

I derailed, so back to hair... I've heard Alaffia is better than Shea Moisture since they got bought out by Unilever and changed ingredient quality

 

[Rakehell]

OP I had long hair for nearly all of my life, up through all of grade school. Grown adults asking if I was a girl as a little boy. Guys finding a way to tease me about it etc. Girls always liked it.

It got brought up so much unsolicited that I got tired of the attention in general.

You gotta look at who’s making the comments, if they don’t look or seem like someone you’d want to replicate what they say shouldn’t even register.

How you look isn’t for guy’s to care about unless you or they are gay. Men aren’t the target audience. Men are not the target audience.

If men aren’t hating on you then you’re doing something wrong.

As long as women find whatever you’re doing as sexy, the opinion of other men don’t count. Unless the guy is sufficiently cool, is attractive to women, and has your best interest in mind.