i have to see her everyday,she is a colleague at work

[Anonymous]

hey everyone,

i am new to this website and all the information in it, i am 26 and do not want to waste any more years, for most of my life i know i missed a lot of girls because i used to be nice and "picky", i think i have a closing issue, i cannot close the circle i start.

so i met this girl several months ago at work, i liked her since the begining but not enough to make any move as "she works with me", at some point we became somehow close, chemistry and attraction between us was crazy and i could see that it is mutual, i decided i should make a move, so one day i confronted her and told her that obviously there is attraction between us and that i like her and would like to go out with her, she did not respond neither yes nor no, we went out couple of times, she started getting jealous at work and tried to get my attention more and more so at one time i opened the subject again about being attracted to her,she would not say what she think about it, at some point she said it is not going to happen because she had bad experiences and she does not want to date, i accepted it, but naturally my attention to her decreased, so she started getting jealous and tried to make me jealous etc.. when at one time i "snapped", told her that i do not do this , i do not play games, i like real people and am sick of typical girls like her, off course she got upset, would not speak to me but after a day or so after ignoring her, she came to me and said that i made her upset, off course i apologized and told her that i respect her, we went out once or twice, i decided i'd make one more move but before i did it, she opened up the subject and started talking about dating and relationships and that she does not want a relationship, i told her i do not want one neither, but i would date her, she said that she doesn't want casual dating and sex, if she want something she want something solid, i responded that its not casual i would wana date her properly, the she said right but you do not want a relationship!! i could not figure out what this girls wants, i mean i am really into her and could try some kind of relation but cannot try forever, i decided to move on and ignore the whole thing, only problem is that i work with her and see her everyday, and whenever she feels i do not talk to her like i used to or give her attention, she calls me and ask why i changed and bla bla , and i cannot ignore her because i am nice and i see her everyday! so ya

any advice of what i should do?

 

[Franco]

This topic has been moved from the "General" board to the "Beginners" board.

- Franco

 

[Humay]

In my experience, if you have to see her everyday, don't keep your hopes up. It never works out.

There's a time and a place for work, and for romance. The more the line between them begins to grey, the more awkward experiences you'll get. I can't explain why. Just my experiences. But there's no harm in trying.

 

[Good Vibes]

... at some point she said it is not going to happen because she had bad experiences and she does not want to date,

..........whenever she feels i do not talk to her like i used to or give her attention, she calls me and ask why i changed and bla bla,

any advice of what i should do?

It seems from your words that she hasn't auto rejected you yet and wants you to find a solution for her. You need to get her to open up about her bad experiences with dating work mates and be very understanding and considerate and you must give her reasons why you are different and how you will be discreet with her and let her continue being comfortable with wanting you (Chase Framing).