I revisited a certain part of my past that I still haven't been clear about and I'd like clarification on it.

[RDRChaseMember]

Here's my story. I wasn't good with talking to girls back then and I saw people having a certain type of interaction that I wish I had, so that made me depressed during that time. This led to me meeting a couple of guys who said they could help me get better with girls. There were a lot of stuff that did went down during that time, but I'm gonna fast forward to a particular topic.

I overthink on a lot of things, sometimes in a logical way, just so it could help me understand the social stuff even more, but they weren't able to deliver on that, I won't fault them for that though, my thinking was very different at the time. I did want to have an interaction with a woman where it would end up with sex, but how I pictured it going down is her wanting me and me wanting her, unfolding it like that.

What ended up happening is the same guys that tried helping me with this one of them sent me a link to the hooker site and told me to use that to get sex. I was off put by this at the time so I didn't accept it, but the link was still there with facebook. Then on one night, they gave me a lot more to drink so I was drunk for sure. They decided to call a hooker over to my place and get me laid. Even though I wanted sex to unfold in a different way, I nonetheless followed through with it. I wasn't sure if something like this would hurt me or help me (I was socially awkward so I didn't know how certain things would unfold and shit). After fucking the hooker I felt like shit later, and now I regret it. I guess you can say the thought process I had was "I wanted my first time to be special" or a less feely version of that is I just wanted to fuck with a girl that feels for me the way I feel for her and I didn't get that. After the fact, a female friend wanted to speak to me, telling me these guys told her what really went down with me, and basically told me my first time should've been with a real girl which I agreed, still feeling like shit. I felt she thinks guys who fucks hookers are desperate. She also told me that they told everyone we knew in the group that I fucked a hooker, something I definitely was not comfortable doing. He said he "didn't know it was a secret"

This also happened to be the first fact I told my ex girlfriend (she was seeing one of these guys and I had a connection with her when we spoke) and even she had the same view that fucking hookers is just empty and desperate.

The reason I point those two girls out is that these are the same girls that has terrible history and therefore terrible perception of guys, probably to the point of misandry if I have to be honest, as they want relationships and only relationships, that their self-worth is tied to relationships. With all the topics of white knight, simping, female nature coming out, I don't know what to think about this anymore. There were also guys in the group that knew I fucked a hooker and acted like it wasn't a big deal, but girls weren't around that time. This had me thinking if girls like this were against the whole idea of being with a guy who fucked a hooker, does that mean fucking a hooker is actually considered not a big deal?

Where I am at NOW with this is that I thought it could generate negative preselection if other girls knew you fucked a hooker, therefore ruining your social reputation (and have faced this reaction from a girl in their social circle). Those guys that tried helping me with girls, some serious shit went down and now I'm not cool with them at all, but less about that.

What I want to know is what is the general social perception of men who fucked hookers and women knowing this fact? I'm not looking for answers such as "Don't care what they think, fuck hookers to your hearts contents" or "Act like it's not a big deal" or "fucking hookers is bad, you've committed haram" that typa shit. If your response does fall into those lines, then I would like an expanded reason why it is, and share some stories if you have something like that. What I am looking for is how is it viewed generally? Does it actually affect your social standing and generate negative preselection with women, or is it really not a big deal?

 

[DaVinciMatrixStyle]

You have to look at your life from a bird's eye point of view. What that means is that, in a decade or so, if you put in the proper work, this scenario could be used as the beginning chapter of a great life story line ending that fueled you to that, or this could become the very thing that defines who you are on a bigger scale.

Aside from all the specifics of the social nuances such as do girls care if I hooked up with a hooker before or will they think lowly of me, if you had to do that because you couldn't get girls, then it can be a weird thing at that moment.

But, if you were to repeat that story 10 years after with an awesome girl beside you and an awesome life, it becomes a funny story because now you don't have the insecurities associated it and your success is attributed to that embarrassing moment.

It's kind of like GSP (UFC) story. He used to get bullied when he was young. And that probably fucked up any plays he could've gotten from the girls that surrounded him in that moment because girls don't want to be associated with a guy being bullied.

But he took that as a fuel to become the UFC champion, which gave him access to way more quality girls that will override the perceptions of some high school girl crush or middle school crush he had.

The point is, learn the lesson, but don't take the victim route. Take ownership of what happened to you, learn from it, and become better.

Learn the skills. Make space with these people. Delete them if you have to. And look at what led you to this situation.

You were a virgin. But why were you a virgin? Because you were afraid, lack of social skills, lack of lifestyle, whatever you think it is, observe your own weaknesses that put you in that situation where 'two guys wanted to help you get laid but only to make fun of you'.

And tackle that head on.

 

[Mike Silvertree]

Bad moments in your life that do not kill you, make you stronger.

It sounds to me like you need a new social circle. The one you are in has you locked into the role of the geek who can't get laid. Not a good place to be.

Study the info here, read Chase's stuff on his site, found by clicking Home at the top of the page. Spend an hour a day on improving yourself. Read up on not only seduction, but fashion and grooming. Get some exercise, eat better. Get your own place if you do not live alone. Work on making yourself more attractive to women. Don't expect it to be a week or month long project, make it your new life. Leave your old life, it sucks.

You sound like a man in a deep hole. The first step is to stop digging, the second is to work on getting out. Not giving up is important. The only person who can save you is you.

 

[Derek da man]

Agree with @Mike Silvertree and @DaVinciMatrixStyle . The only person who can change things is you and the starting point is to take responsibility for your actions and accept that you weren't in a good place at the time and by not getting into such a place again you can avoid making the same or similar mistakes.

The people you refer to as "friends" don't actually appear to have your best interests at heart so, in my opinion, aren't really friends. You need to either get them out of your life and get new friends, or if you can't get them out of your life understand they are not friends, they don't have your interests at heart and look at what they do with fresh eyes as they are putting their interests first.

Ok, being more positive, should you choose to reveal your past to future friends , girls or otherwise, you need to reframe it as a positive. Only reveal it to someone you trust and who isn't going to spread it around. You might be surprised at how forgiving people are, no one is perfect, we all make mistakes and have regrets over poor choices. Some are bigger than others but we all have them in some form or other. In my experience it's often those that you don't think will be forgiving who are the most accepting where as those you think will be Okay with it are far more judgemental so it can be hard to work out who to trust. Those that are accepting of your mistakes are the ones who you should consider as "true friends" and not friends because having you in their life suits them.

When you talk about it you need to frame it in a way that shows you've moved on from that place in your life, it was a mistake, and you've no intention in doing it again. You mustn't portray yourself as a victim or hard done by, they were your choices so you need to own them. Be objective, show you've learnt from the experience by talking about the positives you've learnt from it and be humble about it.

In a year's time with new friends around you this will all seem like it's no big deal.

 

[RDRChaseMember]

Okay so looks like I gotta address a few things to make this more clear

@DaVinciMatrixStyle

Aside from all the specifics of the social nuances such as do girls care if I hooked up with a hooker before or will they think lowly of me, if you had to do that because you couldn't get girls, then it can be a weird thing at that moment.

Yes I think this is what got to me. I expected them to actually help me communicate with girls and they just got a hooker, I bet even they think I couldn't get any girls even if they tried to give me specifics. The type of dudes that will say "you just don't get it" when I'm trying to get help.

The point is, learn the lesson, but don't take the victim route. Take ownership of what happened to you, learn from it, and become better.

Learn the skills. Make space with these people. Delete them if you have to. And look at what led you to this situation.

You were a virgin. But why were you a virgin? Because you were afraid, lack of social skills, lack of lifestyle, whatever you think it is, observe your own weaknesses that put you in that situation where 'two guys wanted to help you get laid but only to make fun of you'.

Yes! I have spent the next couple of years after breaking up with my ex working on that. I got started straight out of college and have actually managed to date a few quality girls in my book. It's still a never ending journey for me so I'm still going at it. Now I'm interested in putting together how the dating process really works like first finding out which girls are good leads, using game on them, calibrating your game depending on who she is, get a date, escalate and hope it all leads to sex at the end of the night. Is there also any mental blocks stopping you from meeting girls or doing certain things with them, find out which girls are serious and which ones will waste your time. And at which point of the interaction will you most likely see or do these things.

@Mike Silvertree

It sounds to me like you need a new social circle. The one you are in has you locked into the role of the geek who can't get laid. Not a good place to be.

Study the info here, read Chase's stuff on his site, found by clicking Home at the top of the page. Spend an hour a day on improving yourself. Read up on not only seduction, but fashion and grooming. Get some exercise, eat better. Get your own place if you do not live alone. Work on making yourself more attractive to women. Don;t expect it to be a week or month long project, make it your new life. Leave your old life, it sucks.

You sound like a man in a deep hole. The first step is to stop digging, the second is to work on getting out. Not giving up is important. The only person who can save you is you.

Fashion and grooming has been a game changer for me, including learning everything I can about body language. Right now I have a strain on my back and I'm getting physiotherapy to heal that first. Once it's fully healed I can get back into working out.

I appreciate your concern man, I really do. I'm also happy to say I've gotten out of that situation a few years ago and found a new social circle, one my good buddy introduced me to. I mostly tell him about my seduction adventures but not his group as they're his friends and not mines. He also knows about the hooker situation tho I think he didn't tell anyone in my new social circle. Even if he did I would have no problems cuz I already know he was good friends with these guys before I came into the picture, I'm just an addition to the group but I'm happy either way cuz I get to have fun with these guys

I also made a good decision following girlschase as the first source of information. There was a lot of sub communication and subtext I missed out on. I had to be deliberately told every small detail in order to get the big picture, reading between the lines was not my strong suit. I developed that ability over the years so if I have to I'll use it, but I much rather be told every detail about it so I can get a better picture. I think this was something I was expecting out of those 2 and didn't get it whereas I did with girlschase. I don't think I could take it out on them tho, for them it's probably "just something that happens" so they don't think about seduction like that, that doesn't take away from the fact they weren't good friends in the end tho.

I have read girlschase article on fucking hookers and prostitutes, there were the cons there. But the cons there basically stated that if you go for hookers mostly cuz you can't get real girls in real life, then you're more likely to go back to getting hookers, stds, or something of this sort, but it didn't mention anything about social reputation. I wanted to know what the general consensus was and if it was something I could recover from even if it is out there, would I still have a chance?

@Derek da man

Ok, being more positive, should you choose to reveal your past to future friends , girls or otherwise, you need to reframe it as a positive. Only reveal it to someone you trust and who isn't going to spread it around. You might be surprised at how forgiving people are, no one is perfect, we all make mistakes and have regrets over poor choices. Some are bigger than others but we all have them in some form or other. In my experience it's often those that you don't think will be forgiving who are the most accepting where as those you think will be Okay with it are far more judgemental so it can be hard to work out who to trust. Those that are accepting of your mistakes are the ones who you should consider as "true friends" and not friends because having you in their life suits them.

When you talk about it you need to frame it in a way that shows you've moved on from that place in your life, it was a mistake, and you've no intention in doing it again. You mustn't portray yourself as a victim or hard done by, they were your choices so you need to own them. Be objective, show you've learnt from the experience by talking about the positives you've learnt from it and be humble about it.

Only reveal it to friends and girls that I trust and isn't going to spread it around. If I had to go off by what you've said there, then I'll assume the general consensus of people knowing you fucked a hooker is actually negative (if we're talking about people who aren't your friends yet and what not).

Out of all the girls I've dated, the only one who knew about it was my ex girlfriend, and she knew it even before she became my girlfriend. I found out later she was a very insecure and immature girl who just wants to tie a man down and I managed to escape from all that negativity. She knew cuz I thought cuz I connected with her I felt safe being vulnerable with her, boy was I wrong on that. She didn't tell anyone about the hooker or any other secret, but she did use them against me when she felt she was losing me (we had our happy moments but overall it wasn't a happy relationship to begin with). Ever since then the other girls I've dated don't know about it and kept it that way. My intention was I'm not looking for a relationship, just some casual sex, so they don't need to know that. If a girl were to become my girlfriend then I think it would be best someone in that position should know about it.

I'm not saying I don't accept my responsibility in this. Yes they did set up a hooker to come over while I was drunk, yes I didn't want my first sex experience to go down like that. But at the end of the day I did end up fucking a hooker. I could've chosen not to fuck on at that moment but it is what it is now. Good or bad I can't change from this fact. I just want to know the general consensus of men fucking hookers and women who know this fact so I can work much better with this. Tho realistically if I'm going to be seeing more women, then I still have a choice to not indulge that information whatsoever. I just want to know the general consensus of this topic so I could better understand what really happened to me in the past, and how I could use this information to help strengthen my resolve in the near future. Like if them knowing I fucked a hooker generates negative preselection in women's eyes, then this would turn her off and she'll treat me very differently from this fact. I would have to reframe that in a positive way and show I have moved on from that. However, women are emotional creatures, so lets say me fucking a hooker is not really a big deal, then I could just treat it as me fucking a hooker is nothing and normal for me and she would also feel it's normal and would still feel attracted to me, whereas if I acted like I was really ashamed I fucked a hooker, then she would feel it too and act accordingly. But that's just a possibility at the end of the day. However if you fucking a hooker is just something that women do not care about and it doesn't really affect how she sees you then I'll definitely be at peace with that.