FR I think I should have reopened

[weekendwarrior]

Hi Guys,

I went to a nightclub at the weekend, and I see two chicks that I half met a few months back. I posted about meeting them where the chick I was interested in got talking to me and gave my hand a squeeze, I squeezed back but she quickly ejected from the set. I danced with her and her friend later that night, they complied but ejected quickly at the end of the song to stand at the side.
Meeting these chicks post (edit)

I didn't really know how to go about approaching them the second time, I was in my own head, I got dancing near them body rocking and they soon left and went to the bar. They didn't return as near so I took it as a sign of disinterest, my friend noticed them come back and got me to go near them again and pressured me into opening them. I'm grateful for the push or else I wouldn't have even tried.

Being stuck in my own head gave me bad AA, I couldn't think of a smooth way to open and impulsively decided to just go for it. I turned round now facing them, gently took the chicks friends arm on the inside of her forearm, running my hand down to take her hand, held my other hand out and signalled to my target and took her hand, started dancing with them and making them spin. Honestly, I couldn't believe it worked that they complied with that.

After dancing for the song, they done the dance with each other thing, I think I could have done with a wing to be with my targets friend. I slipped of back to my friends, both my friends and I see my target checking me out towards the end of the night, but the chicks disappeared before I knew it.

I figured that was that the night ended, I couldn't see the chicks outside, I said my goodbyes to my friends and walked off with my main wing. I walked round the corner and the chicks were sitting there. In the split second I seen them we exchanged eye contact, I was caught off guard not expecting to see them and stupidly just wished them both a good night as I walked off with my main wing. They both said bye back to which I feel there was a bit of disappointment I didn't talk to them more, I debated with him about turning round and going back to talk to them, I'm kicking myself that I didn't.

I'm rather convinced I'll see them again this weekend. They're regulars and occasionally go to the quiet pre bar. Should I open them in the quiet pre bar while they're still warming up or just meeting them in the main club again? I'm carrying a lot more confidence that they complied with me just taking their hands "caveman" style this past week.

Warrior

 

[StrayDog]

I am not sure about how to go about your next encounter. Where do you feel you could have done better with this first encounter though?

It sounds like to be you maybe could have done better at building a bit more rapport, as well as asking logistical questions, seeding the pull. I bet if you had implemented those elements a bit more it would have been easier to gain more momentum with these gals, and by the time you danced with them a second time (or even when you ran into them sittong on the curb) moved the the interaction to another venue/ your home. Sometimes it doesnt even take much. Just a few questions about their plans for the evening, how they met, drop mention that you and your homie were thinking bout hitting up this other club. These small elements can go a long way

 

[Will_V]

Hi Guys,

I went to a nightclub at the weekend, and I see two chicks that I half met a few months back. I posted about meeting them where the chick I was interested in got talking to me and gave my hand a squeeze, I squeezed back but she quickly ejected from the set. I danced with her and her friend later that night, they complied but ejected quickly at the end of the song to stand at the side.
Meeting these chicks post (edit)

I didn't really know how to go about approaching them the second time, I was in my own head, I got dancing near them body rocking and they soon left and went to the bar. They didn't return as near so I took it as a sign of disinterest, my friend noticed them come back and got me to go near them again and pressured me into opening them. I'm grateful for the push or else I wouldn't have even tried.

Being stuck in my own head gave me bad AA, I couldn't think of a smooth way to open and impulsively decided to just go for it. I turned round now facing them, gently took the chicks friends arm on the inside of her forearm, running my hand down to take her hand, held my other hand out and signalled to my target and took her hand, started dancing with them and making them spin. Honestly, I couldn't believe it worked that they complied with that.

After dancing for the song, they done the dance with each other thing, I think I could have done with a wing to be with my targets friend. I slipped of back to my friends, both my friends and I see my target checking me out towards the end of the night, but the chicks disappeared before I knew it.

I figured that was that the night ended, I couldn't see the chicks outside, I said my goodbyes to my friends and walked off with my main wing. I walked round the corner and the chicks were sitting there. In the split second I seen them we exchanged eye contact, I was caught off guard not expecting to see them and stupidly just wished them both a good night as I walked off with my main wing. They both said bye back to which I feel there was a bit of disappointment I didn't talk to them more, I debated with him about turning round and going back to talk to them, I'm kicking myself that I didn't.

I'm rather convinced I'll see them again this weekend. They're regulars and occasionally go to the quiet pre bar. Should I open them in the quiet pre bar while they're still warming up or just meeting them in the main club again? I'm carrying a lot more confidence that they complied with me just taking their hands "caveman" style this past week.

Warrior

Whatever you do, don't hover around again at all, that can be fine with the initial approach nerves but now that you've met her you have to assume the initial familiarity.

'Re-meeting' a girl, i.e. after you've said hi or danced but then semi-ejected or not taken opportunities, is always a bit daunting. But it really doesn't have to be. Personally I'd begin by greeting them briefly in a very warm, smiling, playful way and then go off as if I had someone to meet (preferably with lingering eye contact with the one I liked as I turned away). Then mentally put them aside and spend time enjoying yourself with your friends and other girls. This puts you in a non-needy mental space by not being that guy that latches on or is chasing her down trying to fix some 'mistake'. If she goes she goes.

Ideally their attention is stuck on you for a long time wondering when/if you'll come back, and they see you having fun, being with your friends, dancing with other girls etc.

Then later at some point re-engage with the girl you like, talk, try to move/isolate, etc.

 

[weekendwarrior]

I am not sure about how to go about your next encounter. Where do you feel you could have done better with this first encounter though?

It sounds like to be you maybe could have done better at building a bit more rapport, as well as asking logistical questions, seeding the pull. I bet if you had implemented those elements a bit more it would have been easier to gain more momentum with these gals, and by the time you danced with them a second time (or even when you ran into them sittong on the curb) moved the the interaction to another venue/ your home. Sometimes it doesnt even take much. Just a few questions about their plans for the evening, how they met, drop mention that you and your homie were thinking bout hitting up this other club. These small elements can go a long way

Hi @StrayDog I don't know if you mean the very first time I half met these chicks when my target squeezed my hand or if you mean the night I wrote this FR about. The very first time I feel I could have done a lot better, but I don't know how or what I could have done, she ejected as quickly as she came over to talk to me. I had a hand on her waist, she had her hand on my chest and holding hands with our free hands down by our sides, it felt very much like it was on and then she ejected before I could do anything. It seemed very skittish.

The night I wrote this FR about I barely said a word to them and only danced with them once, it was in a very loud club where it's difficult to talk. I took their hands and started dancing with them, I teased them that they couldn't spin in time and twirled them again, this time they were in time, so I took that as a good sign of compliance. A little later the song ends, and they let go of my hands and grab hold of each other, so I'd have looked like a spare part which is why I slipped back to my friends to not be the creepy guy standing near them (chasing). This would have been about 3:10am, the venue closes at 3:30am and is the only venue open after 3am.

I feel reengaging them outside on the curb would have given me a chance to talk to them to build some rapport and hopefully number close. I think everything you mentioned would have helped, I just feel when they were doing the dance together thing, they've blocked me out of their little group. They've done this on the two nights I've danced with them which seems like a little bit of disinterest ending the interaction, but then my target has checked me out after. I seem to get this reaction a lot.

Warrior

 

[weekendwarrior]

Whatever you do, don't hover around again at all, that can be fine with the initial approach nerves but now that you've met her you have to assume the initial familiarity.

'Re-meeting' a girl, i.e. after you've said hi or danced but then semi-ejected or not taken opportunities, is always a bit daunting. But it really doesn't have to be. Personally I'd begin by greeting them briefly in a very warm, smiling, playful way and then go off as if I had someone to meet (preferably with lingering eye contact with the one I liked as I turned away). Then mentally put them aside and spend time enjoying yourself with your friends and other girls. This puts you in a non-needy mental space by not being that guy that latches on or is chasing her down trying to fix some 'mistake'. If she goes she goes.

Ideally their attention is stuck on you for a long time wondering when/if you'll come back, and they see you having fun, being with your friends, dancing with other girls etc.

Then later at some point re-engage with the girl you like, talk, try to move/isolate, etc.

Thanks @Will_V I'll assume the initial familiarity when I next see them. They weren't out the last two weeks but your approach advice sounds great. I'll make a point to say hi to them in the quiet pre bar if they're there next time so I can mentally put it to the side before getting in my own head about approaching them again in the club.

Warrior

 

[Fuck This]

Knowing their names will help a lot. Giving them nicknames from stories they have told you will up the familiarity too.

But absent that, sometimes just recognizing each other absent the names is enough to spark a connection.

 

[weekendwarrior]

Thanks @Fuck This I don't know these chicks names and I've not talked to them enough to give them a nick name other than using their hair colour, hopefully recognising them is enough, I've not seen these chicks since this post. They're not regulars since the club changed the club night.

Warrior