I want to Take it Slow - 1st Bang vs. 2nd Bang

West_Indian_Archie

Tribal Elder
Tribal Elder
Joined
Feb 6, 2020
Messages
375
Scenario #1 - Typical LMR
You meet a nice female, run your game, your back at your place. She's into it...and then she wants to slow it down the closer you get to the actual P into V.

"I really want to get to know you first"
"I've been hurt before"

You know the drill. Very common, happens with women at all ages.

My Prevention - not enough trust and not enough heat.
My Remedy in the moment

Overall hook up philosophy - For every 2 steps forward, take a step back.
  • Address the concerns in the moment
  • Raise the heat
  • Increase the trust
  • Hook up
  • Nice debrief at the end.

Scenario #2 - LMR of a different Breed

You met a nice female, ran your game, went back to your place, everything was all good, got the hook up.
This time around, you either met the chick out, took her out on a date, had her just come over/you went over.

First time there were no problems, but now she doesn't want to be consistent with your expectations.

What do you differently do in this situation versus the first situation?

WIA
 

topcat

Modern Human
Modern Human
Joined
Dec 20, 2012
Messages
699
So for clarification, girl in second scenario you’ve already hooked up with, but on second meet she’s holding back on fucking?

In that case the issue is also comfort. She’s testing to see if you care about “her”. Easily remedied by asking her about her day, and connecting slightly before you get going. Pacing her as you do so.

Strategically though, it’s not a bad thing to move fast intentionally though, trigger her reservations and address them right there. You’re very unlikely to run into the issue again going forward.
 

West_Indian_Archie

Tribal Elder
Tribal Elder
Joined
Feb 6, 2020
Messages
375
So for clarification, girl in second scenario you’ve already hooked up with, but on second meet she’s holding back on fucking?

Yes, banged once, but now she wants to "slow things down".

Something that happens fairly often at the rookie - intermediate level, and when you get rusty and out of practice.

I think there are a lot of takes on the scenario, depending on the goals.

The rookie looks at the question and thinks
  • What do I need to say or do to get the chick to bang right now?
  • How can I prevent this problem in the future?
Personally, If you can hold off on banging her, I think there's fertile ground for something deeper in terms of your game. There's a lot of ways to get into her head, which once done, makes a lot of the physical stuff more trivial.

A common reaction to this common behavior, "This chick wants to play games". (which may or may not be the case). So the refusal can also mess with your sense of entitlement/expectations.

WIA
 

DoWhatWorks

Tribal Elder
Tribal Elder
Joined
Nov 7, 2019
Messages
567
What do you differently do in this situation versus the first situation?

This literally happened to me a few weeks ago.

I focused on comfort 2nd time round vs arousal & comfort first time round

The girl likes you so it’s just making her feel at ease so basic conversation, call back humour to what you spoke about before is enough.


Personally, If you can hold off on banging her, I think there's fertile ground for something deeper in terms of your game.

Personally I think there’s a lot more nuance here. Not sleeping with her 2nd time after only sleeping with her once falls into her frame of “be a good boy now, that was a 1 off”

It’s just a girl’s knee jerk reaction to gain control & we have to show them she can trust us to have it as we know what her needs are and how to meet them (often better than she does).

Now where I agree with the “hold of on banging” approach is if you’re post x3 lock in lays.

Because then you show that you can’t be controlled by sex which makes girls go crazy as it works on 99.99% of guys.

I’ve only had to do it once. Made chit chat then sent her home without coming across bitter.

I went radio silent,she hit me up a few days later, we slept together & she apologised for “being silly”.
 
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