IF you still bitter with women, I am bitter too. It's whether we can past it :)

[trashKENNUT]

Hi Guys,

Don't be too hard on yourself if you hate girls. I know that most men who bypass this website might still have that girl or girls who left you with problems. I want most men to know that building emotional strength can be a skill. Yes, you can act tough all you want in front of everybody, but drop that when you alone so you can reflect and understand yourself from there.

Chase is very advocate on investments, and this piss women off (but still sleep with him) but here's the serious deal that i learn, "Women simply do not care about you."

Here, you might be saying that I am bitter and that i am a "sad person". But no. I have go beyond it. Now, It is important to separate Chase from this conversation now, because you might think that i learn this from him (and everyone will start assuming and say he's a women hater and all that nonsense when he's more empathetic than me.) For women, it's what's in it for me, and this is more apparent than men. From multiple google searches examples like "How to make a guy to like me", to research showing women do not care about their weight when they get married, the many social underhanded tactics i have seen and that i was victim on so many occasions in the past, selfishness in social circles that kill groups and sometimes destroy workplaces harmony and classes in schools, occasional backbiting so as her name is at the top and have social benefits.

For a normal average guy, i understand why men are bitter especially if he see the ugly side of women, and I probably advice people to not be bitter. It takes time for a man to reach this level called "Benevolent Sexism". I take this label from Chase. I think what he meant here is going beyond what is, "good" and what is "bad" or "evil", in that sense.

Chase noted to me that most men think they know women when they do not, at all. I think there's sides to the world he has not shown, and i think only after you reach a certain point of experience, you start seeing this things.

It's pretty scary. As Michael Jordan said, "Be true to the game, and the game be true to you", and suddenly i am seeing things or life, specifically, as it is, that can perhaps be more uglier or real because it is the way that it is. Ultimately, it's going beyond "good", "bad".... going beyond "forms". Somewhere where people do not want to or most wisest men do not say, or only speak to those who have reach a certain level or see experience that many.

Zac

 

[Chase]

Re: IF you still bitter with women, I am bitter too. It's whether we can past it

Hey Zac-

I think a good (alternate) way of looking at women if you want to think about them in a different way is as little children in adult bodies. I don't mean that from a logical / rational / thinking perspective, because adult women are obviously much more educated, experienced, accomplished, and worldly than little children are. I mean it in a "what they try to pull off" way, rather.

I actually have a lot of respect for children as "pure" beings, and I view women as rather the same. You can view either of them as selfish, greedy, cunning, and manipulative, and perhaps that's one way of looking at it. But another, different way is viewing them as simply trying whatever avenues they can to get the things they want. Children, for one, I find more or less as competent as adults, simply with much less life experience to inform their efforts.

Here's the thing: picture a weak parent with a demanding child. I'm sure you've seen the mothers who are screaming in frustration or brought to the point of tears by "monster children." Who made those children into such monsters? Their weak parents did. Similarly, when you see "monster women" who screw men over and treat them terribly and con and deceive them, these tend to be women who've been catered to by weak men and have never been around men who are MEN.

Now, take any awesome child and put him with a new foster parent who happens to be quite weak, and you will watch even that great child gradually descend into worse and worse behaviors. Same is true for a spectacular woman who ends up with a weak man.

Conversely, take a child who is just a horror and put him with a rigid fair-but-firm parent who's not afraid of discipline in the slightest, and you will watch that child continuously test the bounds and continuously get checked against them, gradually shaping up into a better and better behaved child. Same deal if you put a wild woman with a strong, dominant, experienced, fair-but-firm man.

This is why it's important to get good enough with women that you can replace them if you need to, and manage them properly in relationships without turning into a pushover. You don't have to be a drill sergeant if you don't want to go that far - the wild child / wild woman needs a drill instructor to ever not be 'bad', but the awesome child or woman just needs a parent or man who is fair enough and firm enough that s/he feels taken care of and knows where the limits are.

However, if you don't want to be the drill sergeant, you must also be aware that there ARE those broken children and women out there who've just run rampant after others let them perpetually get their way, and you tend to want to steer clear of them. Don't adopt the wild child; don't date the wild woman. Unless you're dead set on testing yourself against those who will test you hardest, which is worth doing to up your skill set, but most will eventually fail at and come away feeling reamed and defeated.

But the point is - when you're the strong, experienced guy, just like when you're the strong, experienced parent or teacher, you don't get upset about women (or children) constantly trying to find a way to trick their ways into the cookie jar. It's just kind of a "Noooo - I know what you're doing. And the answer is no" sort of deal. And when they DO find a way to trick their way in? "I'm not even mad - that's amazing." Then you make a note of what they did and don't let them pull the same trick twice.

At that point, you're coming at it from a different angle than most men are. Most men try to control women, and fail, because they don't understand women.

When you realize that women are just these cute, free little creatures who are going to try to trick their way into getting their way, you can kind of laugh about it, then be firm and tell them, "No, that's not how we do things," and watch them apologize and behave better. And then they try another way later. And you do it again. And then they try another way, and maybe this time they get it. And you laugh, and give them their credit for pulling it off, and then keep an eye out for that trick again next time. But most of the time, they're awesome, and it's good to have them around.

You're not trying to control them; you're just letting them know what is and isn't acceptable around you, and letting the ones who want to stay stay, and the ones who don't go (but since every woman is looking for a man who can do this to her and give her a TRUE sense of security and leadership, and since so few men can actually pull this off without being a controlling douche or slipping into being a sissy and letting her always get her way, when she finds a man like you she will stick around as long as she possibly can).

Chase

 

[trashKENNUT]

Re: IF you still bitter with women, I am bitter too. It's whether we can past it

Chase,

Just in case, I can't help but to think about what you said. Viewing women as "little children in adult bodies".

Zac

 

[trashKENNUT]

Re: IF you still bitter with women, I am bitter too. It's whether we can past it

But the point is - when you're the strong, experienced guy, just like when you're the strong, experienced parent or teacher, you don't get upset about women (or children) constantly trying to find a way to trick their ways into the cookie jar. It's just kind of a "Noooo - I know what you're doing. And the answer is no" sort of deal. And when they DO find a way to trick their way in? "I'm not even mad - that's amazing." Then you make a note of what they did and don't let them pull the same trick twice.

At that point, you're coming at it from a different angle than most men are. Most men try to control women, and fail, because they don't understand women.

When you realize that women are just these cute, free little creatures who are going to try to trick their way into getting their way, you can kind of laugh about it, then be firm and tell them, "No, that's not how we do things," and watch them apologize and behave better. And then they try another way later. And you do it again. And then they try another way, and maybe this time they get it. And you laugh, and give them their credit for pulling it off, and then keep an eye out for that trick again next time. But most of the time, they're awesome, and it's good to have them around.

Like the gallant and equal thing. I was looking at it wrongly. It's like a principle vs skill thing. I can use my skill like playing soccer on the moon but without respecting the moon, i never get to understand the game.

You never fail to amaze me. i feel humble

Zac

 

[trashKENNUT]

Re: IF you still bitter with women, I am bitter too. It's whether we can past it

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Getting ready for the hypergamy article and so forth. In the mean time, this post.

and Chase, i need to email you. OMG.

Zac

 

[trashKENNUT]

Re: IF you still bitter with women, I am bitter too. It's whether we can past it

BUMP