I'm too picky

[tvktvk]

What's up GC,

I believe that the one essential factor to why I'm still a virgin to this date, is that I have too high standards for girls I'd like to get intimate with.
In other words, I'm too motherfucking picky and I need to change this mentality because it is a huge problem. Through 4 years of socializing before GC, I vivdly remember having rejected 5 girls (I've maybe rejected even more) that explicitly told me they wanted sex from me right there in that moment. The girls and my reasons were as follows:

1. Butterface with a hot body at a festival. I couldn't mentally convince myself to have sex with her.
2. Overweight, obnoxious british girl I met one holiday, don't need to elaborate on this one.
3. One of my best female friends at an after party, she's a 6 and I basically friend-zoned her, sex with her wasn't worth the relationship we had. She understood and we're still friends.
4. Girl I met at a bar 2 years ago that wanted to take me home with her, she was a 5 and we had no chemistry at all.
5. Sexually liberated girl (I know this because she slept with several of my friends) in my high school years tried to drag me into a bathroom with her during a house party, but I refused because I was too much in love with this other girl sitting in the other room.

In retrospect 1 and 5, maybe even 3 should have been lays. I developed this very bad habit of only getting attracted to one hot girl at the time growing up, totally ignoring other girls attraction wise (which is perfectly illustrated in girl no. 5). Now after GC that will never happen again, but the habit has become more of a "no she's not attractive enough to hook up with" thing, which is still a problem because I should rather just forge through in many situations. I also feel I do relatively few approaches because of this.

Friday last night me and friends went to this bar with a more mature crowd. I felt like a fucking kid and not in a good way. I ignored a couple of girls on the dancefloor who were flipping their fucking hair in my face and bumping into me over and over (there was no fucking way I was going to talk on them). However, there was this one milf with her friends that started chatting me up, but I got intimidated by the age difference and excused myself...

On Thursday when I got the bar owner's phone number (check out my post on https://boards.girlschase.com/viewtopic.php?f=5&t=4897&start=50), there was this girl on the dancefloor giving me MASSIVE IOI's while I was sitting down. She stared at me 3 times with durations of approximately 10-15 seconds with each stare within a span of 2 minutes. The reason why I hesitated to approach her was that she was wearing this baggy baseball t-shirt and it made her look fat.
Her face looked kinda cute, but the bar was very dark and I wasn't completely sober so I really couldn't make up my mind. I knew if I didn't approach she would go into auto-rejection mode, but inaction reared its ugly head. When I saw her later in better lighting I realized she was actually very hot, the shirt was just very misleading. I tried approaching her later, but her friend cock blocked me. Later I would see her grinding with this tall black dude on the dancefloor. FUCK ME. Rather than sitting their like a little bitch earlier I should have forged ahead, approached her and complimented her for having a different style from all the other basic bithces. Anyways..

I'm asking for help with getting rid of this toxic mentality. Not only has it prevented me from having sex, but it also makes me sound like an arrogant douchebag... Any sort of help would be greatly appreciated!

Stay sexy my friends

TVKTVK

 

[sneaky_charm]

All I can say is you're hurting yourself by being too picky. As long as a girl is not repulsively ugly, I'd encourage you to go ahead, just for experience's sake if nothing else.

Read this:

https://www.girlschase.com/content/lower ... tter-girls

 

[tvktvk]

Soo, I kinda found my answer to my mentality problem after some research on the boards: https://boards.girlschase.com/viewtopic.php?f=6&t=1293
I guess I gotta let my sexual imagination run wild when I go out! I remember reading the "supercharge your game" article a while back, but I guess I kinda forgot about it. Anyways, anybody else have any excercises or techniques to help me forge ahead when I'm not really feeling the attraction?

 

[Adam101]

As a fellow picky man here's some of my advice / suggestions.

For starters I would ditch the 1-10 scale you have in your head. It sounds to me like this is an extra qualification hoop you jump through that's causing you to pass up opportunities just because the girl doesn't hit an arbitrary number. "That girl's a 7.5 and making eyes at me but since she's not an 8 I won't bother." Instead I think the question should simply be "Do I find her attractive or not?" If the answer is yes then go for it. Also a 10 scale is not universal and absolute bullshit so when you say "she was a 5" another guy could look at the same girl and see an 8. Just as an example Scarlet Johansen is considered one of the most beautiful women in the world, and yet I've had guys tell me they think she's an unattractive butterface.

I would also question what your expectations are. Will nothing short of a supermodel do? I ask because media and society give us very unrealistic expectations of beauty. Most guys when we think of "hot women" we think of female celebrities or swimsuit models or even porn stars. Thing is those girls are airbrushed, have pros do their make-up, and have a crew of lighting people to make them look as great as humanly possible. But most of us don't have that...and even they don't have it 24/7. Granted, there are a lot of women who have knock out hourglass figures and don't need all that extra to show off, but even they might not hit every single mark of your physical ideal. The question here is what are you using as your baseline for hot VS what you actually see is available? There are media women and then there are real women.

You also may want to consider taking a personal inventory of yourself and see if you would match your own standard. I find a lot of guys expect a Miss Perfect when they are from it themselves. Can you really say you're Mr. GQ to match Maxim's cover girl of the month?

Something else you may want to do is pick 2-3 physical female traits that are must haves, and then be open to everything else outside of that. For example, I love big tits. So I go for women who are naturally gifted in that area. However, knowing that I also know that more often than not girls who are naturally that well endowed in the chest are also a bit thicker everywhere else. And I'm totally cool with that. Conversely have friends who are all about ass and don't care if a girl's an A cup as long as the rear's in shape. Now, are there girls who have big tits + washboard stomachs? Certainly but having one and not the other is not a deal breaker. Picky usually has an all or nothing mentality that goes with it and you have to learn where to compromise.

Also have you read this article?

https://www.girlschase.com/content/youre ... lest-girls

I think this explains the situation you described. Just to give you the gist from it beautiful women dress down and average and not-so average women dress up. Don't know about you but I'd rather have a consistent 7 rather than a nightclub 8 that drops to 5 once all the assistance comes off in the bedroom.

It sounds like you're being very strict on looks but just as we have to win women over with our personalities a woman's personality can make her hotter than she first seems. I'll take a decent girl who's fun and wild in bed over the 10 who just lays there and does nothing.

Do you watch porn regularly? Masturbate often? If the answer is even semi-regularly then I'd suggest cutting back if not stopping all together. This will increase your sex drive and inner need to mate which will widen your window of acceptability.

These are all things to consider when it comes to being picky...especially if getting laid is your goal. Now am I saying you should drop your standards like a rock and go for cows? Absolutely not. But to combat your pickiness it comes down to tempering expectations and being more open. And as someone who recently lost his V card thanks to this site I can say that what / who you find beautiful pre and post sex is wildly different at least in my experience. And remember too you're not necessarily looking for a girlfriend so she doesn't have to be a complete package. Anyway just try to open yourself up a bit and you may be surprised at the new opportunities and experiences you find.

 

[tvktvk]

Hey Adam101,

Thank you so much for your reply! I read your "thank you Chase" post and that stuff was truly inspirational. I hope you write that LR soon!
To answer your questions (and to comment on the article you linked), when I'm out in a bar or some other scene approaching girls, I never use the 1-10 scale. It's more of a tool I use in retrospect. I'll try to cut this out though if it's detrimental.

Like most of the highly intelligent people on this forum, I'm not on cloud 9 and do not expect supermodels (yet, haha) from the get go. As for my own looks I have asked a sample of girls from tinder and female friends that put me in the 7-8 category (I know, 1-10 scale). However, something I pride myself with is that I get a constant stream of compliments when it comes to fashion sense, physique, voice and smell. Fundamentals are something I have worked on loong before GC and it is my biggest asset when it comes to seduction.

You do have a great point though with the article. Not only the girl with the baseball shirt, but from that one time I actually approached a model here in North America https://boards.girlschase.com/viewtopic.php?f=5&t=8271) I did not really think she was that hot, just very cute. Her images on facebook on the other hand were stunning. I will look deeper into finding diamonds in the rough next time I go out! I will also cut off porn completely and cut down on masturbation. Thank you Adam.

tvktvk

 

[Rhaegar]

If your picky then that means you need to stop watching porn and stop masterbaiting.

Do that for 30 days and trust me, you won't be picky anymore. You might start even finding cats and dogs attractive now, you've been warned.