I'm Too Young for You!

[Nuncle]

I got this response a couple of times last night (I'm 39 the girls were mid-20s).

This was only my 3rd time out in the field so obviously my vibe is still all types of wrong, age barrier or not (I did get a lucky lay on my 2nd trip though!)

Would like to get members' views on whether this response is generally:

a) a test
b) a rationalisation of the fact that they were not attracted to me in general
c) I am too old and should give up on young clubbers (which would be my target of choice, tbh!)

Obviously one should expect a lot of unpleasant rebuffs anyway when starting out, but do you think the age thing is just like any other objection that can be demolished or is it something more problematic than that? Will I find that as I get better and better this objection will fall away as others do or will it always be a big obstacle?

Thanks

 

[Nova]

i think the problems for you regarding the age gap are most probably related to fundamentals & isolation.

when there is a fairly large age gap 12 years + isolation is even more important that ever as you don't want that whole 'older man' stigma to be increased by a whole group forcing it upon the girl and manipulating her mind, its a social issue nothing else. you need to learn how to target efficiently and get the lucky lady alone with yourself asap so that she can choose for herself whether she wants to do anything with you or not.

but honesty most of your problems here will come down to fundamentals i would think. the age thing isn't a problem that i've experienced myself yet as i am in my mid-late twenties and feel as though any girl 18-45 is perfectly within my reach age wise.

but i have a couple of friends who are older than me, and they have seemingly no problems what so ever taking home young girls 18-25 despite them being in their late thirties. the thing they both have in common? perfect fundamentals and vibe, conditioned through years of experience. just keep working on it, and improving yourself, and your successes among women of any age will increase.

 

[trashKENNUT]

HI Guys,

I thought this might help.

viewtopic.php?f=3&t=2732&p=12283&hilit=teacher#p12283

viewtopic.php?f=27&t=4359&p=20438&hilit=universal#p20438 (Plus the added article, linked by Chase.)

Zac

 

[Marty]

Nuncle:

I am going to throw in my 2¢, though due to my relatively novice status, I suggest you take them with a pinch of salt (if you don't mind mixed metaphors!). I am the same age as you.

Here's how I'd address this: Go younger, not older.

You say mid-twenties? That's not much of an age gap, to be honest. Try opening a few girls around 19, 20, 21 or so.

In my view, this does three things for you:

• It gets you accustomed to speaking with younger women, so that once you encounter the mid-twenties group again, it's a piece of cake
  
• The (much) younger age-group can be flattered to receive attention and interest from an older man. This is especially true when they have a (presumably young) boyfriend; I can't count the times when I've received an approach invitation from a sub-22 girl, acted upon it, received a delighted reaction and then when I ask her out, you can actually see her visibly struggling with the question, debating with herself whether to tell me about her attachment, and actually verbalizing how flattered she is, before collapsing under the strain and admitting she is not free to accept my offer. This process is very validating for the participants of both sexes.
  
• Girls around 23-26 or so often seem go through a "princess mentality" stage that they then grow out of again in their late twenties. This group includes women like postgraduate students and very early career women, and is often among the rudest in terms of blunt rejections. If you get a year or two underneath that age-group, they haven't yet become so cosseted by constant male attention and can be quite excitable... I have often had to ignore significant looks and approach invitations from girls under 21 because they are with their parents at the time and I just can't deal with that at my age.

-Marty

PS... oh, one other thing. If a girl looks very young, I always ask her age very early into the interaction, ideally right at the beginning. Apart from (obviously) verifying that she is legal, this also works to position you as the dominant party and seems to preempt the age objection you were speaking of.

 

[gijas04]

Nuncle,
I'm 39 as well and a month in I have not heard this response- yet. I target younger women in the 20-30ish range though some may have been 30+. I don't ask their age and personally don't want to know. One response I just thought of to through back at them is when they say your too old say, "I don't think the question here is if I'm too old for you but rather are you old enough for me?" Or replace old enough with mature enough. I know it sounds arrogant but by saying this you communicate that I can handle your age if you can handle my age. Or say why should age have anything to do with me being attracted toward you?

Like Marty though, I ran into a similar age-awkward situation at a bookstore. I saw this tall young women alone and jumped at the opportunity by giving her a compliment on her eyes. She gave me her full attention afterwards however, when her dad in the aisle next to us asked if she was OK I felt weird as if I was this older man stalking young girls. So I ended the conversation prematurely just out of respect for her and the dad. But I know for certain that she was extremely flattered by me approaching her. It was probably the first time she had been approached by a older man and I could tell that she liked it a lot.

But for men our age that have been with women that are relative to our age or older I think it can be daunting at times to approach women much younger. The thing I keep in mind is women are women no matter what their age is. Marty pointed out some great points about age groups and clichés. But I think it's all about how you come off to her. I try not to approach young women in large groups and have a personal limit of no more than two. Groups of two are more manageable as they are probably best friends with low social pressure from their peers not being present. My ultimate long-term goal is to get not one but both in bed. If I can pull that off I can approach any young women with ease whether alone or in a group.

I have yet to visit the club scene. I know like you just experienced that women in clubs tend to be in larger social groups. I focus on more traditional settings in day or night game like grocery stores, retail stores, malls and bookstores. My most recent new venue to visit are coffee shops where I find more young women alone usually sitting by themselves or with a friend a far better situation to approach. I might try lounges and bars in the future but as of right now I think these types of venues drawl larger groups of young women like clubs and if your fundamentals are weak and haven't matured yet it will be harder to fake it or in other words pull off without coming accross as a creepy older guy out stalking. Don't give up though. The way I see it is you know what you want but like me you need to work smarter at getting results.

 

[Nuncle]

Thanks very much everyone for the contributions and useful insights.

Nova, good that's what I was hoping.

Marty, I don't see you as a novice at all. In fact reading about your exploits over the last few months are partly what inspired me to get off the keyboard.

Gijas, very thoughtful reply. Yes I did think of a load of text book responses the next day (Who said I was interested?/We can just talk then/Good, because I only like mature women etc) but at the time my subconscious just took them at their word.

With regard to club game my main motive in going down that route was really to break myself in gently - approaching in a club is far less daunting than approaching in the day (particularly in the UK where chatting to strangers raises eyebrows in any context). I definitely plan to graduate to day approaches though.

Incidentally I did see a big improvement in my vibe on this trip compared against my first one. Still literally about 90% beneath acceptable but definitely starting to tentatively lift itself off the ground.