Impossible To Change The Way People View You?

[Inbocca]

Resorting to violence unless directly physically provoked makes you look like you don't know how to handle challenges any other way - that's low value right there, and even if you totally wreck this dude people will probably just see you as psycho and avoid you like the plague. That doesn't help your social life.

One of two things is happening when he's cool one-on-one but a dick in a group:
1) He's testing you one-on-one, seeing you're a pretty cool guy, and exploiting that for his own gain in a group; or 2) he's two-faced as fuck and turns on you in the group again for his own gain.

People can change, but it sounds like this guy hasn't. Bullies are insecure, and both of the situations above are pretty big indicators of insecurity. Dismiss this guy, he's a waste of your time. Rest assured that you can kick his ass if you have to.

 

[Richard]

Slay,

Based on this post and a lot of previous posts I think you need some help and beating the shit out of anybody won't help.

 

[Mr.Rob]

Slay,

Good advice from Richard and Inbocca.

I'm curious as to why you want to hang around with these guys in the first place? Doesn't sound like their the coolest people in the world especially if they haven't grown out of their behavior of bullying and status jockeying to such a high degree.

Back home I had 1 main social circle (street life thug friends) and another periphery social circle (laid back surfers with social value and sex appeal you wouldn't believe).

They all treated me anywhere from good - poor depending on situation (surfers treated me better than my main social circle albeit they teased/tested me).

When I began cultivating myself into a successful man I pretty much went into seclusion and never saw much of either of these social circles. When I returned a new and vastly improved man 3 years later I experienced the following.

1) My thug life social circle respected me tremendously. They could tell I was vastly far ahead of all of them compared to the last time we used to hang out and talked about how they wish they could live my life as I regaled to them stories of picking up women sober (odd to them but cool nonetheless considering they new me as the shy virgin around women). They could tell I was truly changed by the way I acted and understood I surpassed them in all aspects of life so they treated me differently.

2) The periphery social circle on the other hand included more than a few social elites that were at or above my level of improvement and success in life. Thus they could tell I was different but still at or below their level so they treated me the exact same way off the bat and weirdly enough I began acting the same way I used to around them. I couldn't express my new and improved self which proved highly frustrating to me.

Nonetheless, I didn't see the value in working my ass off to prove my surfer friends that I was actually cool and socially valuable so I just went and met new friends (actually I moved cities). They didn't act super respectfully to me so I just let them be. I don't feel like I need to prove myself to them because I can go make new friends who will know me as a cool socially valuable person from the beginning.

I don't have the reference points to say for certain but from this case I can tell to have people view you differently you have to come back to them vastly improved compared to where they currently are in life so they MUST see you differently. If you're at their level or even just a bit above their level then they'll revert back to how they always saw you in the past.


Hope this helps. I wouldn't waste my time on some chumps with low self esteem that don't treat people well. Life is too short brother man.

-Rob

 

[Big Daddy]

Anyways I handled the situation like a damn boss. Won't bother me again

How?

 

[Mr.Rob]

@Slay- Glad to be of service.

Anyways I handled the situation like a damn boss. Won't bother me again

How?

CNN breaking news. This just in! Psycho baseball player goes on a rampage.

LOL

Hope all stays well man. Keep us posted.

-Rob

 

[Smith]

2) The periphery social circle on the other hand included more than a few social elites that were at or above my level of improvement and success in life. Thus they could tell I was different but still at or below their level so they treated me the exact same way off the bat and weirdly enough I began acting the same way I used to around them. I couldn't express my new and improved self which proved highly frustrating to me.

Yo Rob, I definitely experience this too. Not sure the reason why, but I think it has a lot to do with me trying to prove to my ego "I'm there" and that I'm finally "high status", and this ends up blocking my real personality, because the underlying mindset is "i'm not enough, so I need to show I have value over these high status people", hence I need my "new and improved self", an alter ego, to prove that I'm enough. So when i'm interacting with them, the vibe becomes taking value, and I lose my charisma. That's my theory anyway lol. Let me know what u think.