Indirect Disrespect

[Sir_CoboTheFirst]

I’m new here and just beginning to understand the ways of social life. I read Hector’s article series about disrespect. Reason I’m saying this is because today a stranger that lives in my building (female) indirectly disrespected me and thought to handle it better than I did. Any advice from anyone would be great to improve myself for next time. So here what happened:

We (female stranger & me) waited for the elevator at the lobby floor with another guy beside us.
When the elevator opened I let everyone come out of the elevator and let myself in FIRST.
I held the door for everyone else to come in (guy, & and female stranger)
She then made a comment to the guy next to her saying “Thanks, there’s some people who aren’t considerate and inpatient. But don’t worry it isn’t you” guy giggles and looks down. Then she looks at me, and I stare at her and give her a “Really bitch?” Face, look away and walk out to my floor. Was there any way to demand some kind of respect in a matter of a few seconds Before getting out? Adive and Critisms are invited thank you

 

[Koneal43]

How did she disrespect you? Because she didnt acknowledge that you held the elevator door and thought it was someone else. What? Because she stared at you? Get out your feelings and stop with the simpish behavior. You are a man, you dont let small insignificant shit ruining your day. What kind shit is this?

 

[Virgin101]

It's only natural that something like that would piss you off, so you can ignore the above poster's "man up" type attitude. Generally, if addressed in the third person, it's best to retort in the third person... to highlight her rudeness. So you could have said "someone's very passive aggressive" directed at the dude. But that wouldn't worked in this case, as that guy seemed like a bit of a chump who'd agree with anything she'd say. She was essentially using him at your expense. For him to giggle like that seems very immature. So you might have said "you guys obviously have a bit of growing up to do?"

And if I were that guy, I might have said "what are you thanking me for? he was the one who held the door!" But aside from that, are you sure there wasn't more going here? Perhaps body language wise?... that'd make you an easy target. It obviously wasn't that u were rude, but maybe u were of perceived low status to her. Or maybe she went to enter the lift at the same time as you, but had to stop when you went ahead?

A lot of our interactions with another humans will either up or down our state of confidence, so your "really bitch?" face, was merely an acknowledgement that she pissed you off. I think it's always best to at least open your mouth in these situations. You can't tell yourself that you don't give a shit about it (as above poster said), when you just got owned.

 

[Marcellus]

Except he didn't get owned tho, virgin101? He literally says that some random bitch made a passive aggressive comment to him. SOME RANDOM BITCH!

Yo just give her the stink face and then move on, who's got time to waste over random losers.

Or you can just laugh cos it's actually really funny too what she said.

 

[Regal Tiger]

Except he didn't get owned tho, virgin101? He literally says that some random bitch made a passive aggressive comment to him. SOME RANDOM BITCH!

Yo just give her the stink face and then move on, who's got time to waste over random losers.

Or you can just laugh cos it's actually really funny too what she said.

Since it was some random person, this is the exact response that I was going to say. Except he did it better with the image, that image is gloriously perfect for what I had in my head.

She tested you because she initially saw you as lower than her, for whatever reason. Could be that she's an entitled princess or it could be because of a fundamental of yours making yourself an easy target. Can't say either way.

But because it was some rando I think you did well enough with your stank face. If you'd wanted to say something sarcastic like some of the people above have mentioned, you could (but you have to be quick on your feet). But, the stank face is really all you needed here.

You're a man of value and so you entered the elevator first, as is your right as a valuable mudstuffin. Stank face for everybody that doesn't understand that.

 

[slazenger]

She's one of billions of complete strangers. You don't even acknowledge the comment or her. The wolf does not concern himself with the opinions of sheep.

 

[Sir_CoboTheFirst]

Great advice here thanks guys!