Inexperienced and don't know how to open

[Anonymous]

Hey all, I'm a 24 year old who has never slept with a girl before cause I have always been struggling with approaching women. Before you judge, I grew up in a society where it is generally considered very inappropriate to talk to or even show interest in a woman for that matter. To make matters worse, I have studied in an all boys school (where meeting girls was out of the question). I have always been very shy at first but once I do break the ice, I am calm and have no problems talking confidently. I feel it is very unfair and demeaning when people brand me as a "loser" just because of the fact that I turned out to be an older virgin.

Although I do feel comfortable with my personality, I always have had this fear that people around me will be quick to judge my actions and call me a pervert for even trying to talk to a girl I don't know (for example, once I was standing in a line at a coffee shop and I thought people standing behind me would go like, "hahaha look at this creepy idiot"). Another situation I usually face is if the girl appears busy and I feel that I would be bothering her.

I also have some questions regarding cold approaches:

1. Do women usually respond well to a cold approach? would an opener like: "hey, how's your day going? my name is bla bla", work well?

2. Where I do exactly approach a woman? are cafes and streets good places to do this?

3. How do women reject you in public? do they usually act mean like in nightclubs and just ignore you?

I would really appreciate your thoughts and any constructive suggestions.

Thanks!

-Ankit

 

[Smith]

Hi, Welcome!

No one's judging u here brother =) we've all been there. It's never too late to take action.

I always have had this fear that people around me will be quick to judge my actions and call me a pervert for even trying to talk to a girl I don't know. Another situation I usually face is if the girl appears busy and I feel that I would be bothering her.

Cut out this negative thought.
As long as you're enjoying yourself and the girl is having fun, most people don't really care (and honestly what can they do about it? It's not like you're hurting anyone)
People only have as much power as you give them.
The reason you have this fear of other people judging you and of bothering the girl is because you don't feel 'worthy' (not entitled) of the girl.
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=X45fQ8_81Q8&list=UUD4xqm6vJ3K4ntppsE1jL4g

1. Do women usually respond well to a cold approach? would an opener like: "hey, how's your day going? my name is bla bla", work well?

2. Where I do exactly approach a woman? are cafes and streets good places to do this?

3. How do women reject you in public? do they usually act mean like in nightclubs and just ignore you?

1. This will depend on your fundamentals and vibe. You won't always have a good respond, especially in the beginning. Some girls will walk away immediately without saying anything, and that is probably the worst reaction I've ever got, and that's OK. Try this opener: "Hey....I just saw you walk past and you're really cute...I had to come introduce myself. I'm XX" Or indirect if you're too nervous.

2. Just about anywhere u can. lol. Push yourself.

3. Some say 'thank you' then walk away. Some just walk away. Some will stay and chat, but not interested. Some will be interested and can't wait for you to take them to bed

If you're worrying about 'rejections', then you're worrying about the wrong thing, because it's the only thing that you can not control and it will make this journey more stressful if you take these 'rejections' personally.

Try the newbie's assignment to get started! It starts out light and gets you gradually pushing your comfort zone.

- Smith