30 October 2016 FR:
Hey friends!
Here's another report of a Tantan date I went on in Chengdu, China. We shall call her Stacey.
I met 18 year old Stacey outside a shopping mall a short walk from my hostel. She was wearing black ripped jeans, and a blue denim jacket. Her physique was average and sporting some curves. She had blonde chin length hair with bangs. She was wearing quite similar to the outfit to I was wearing. Stacey hardly knew any English, so the whole interaction was carried out in Chinese. This was definitely a challenge. She was around 20 minutes late into meeting, but I wasn't all that fussed. I sat down at the meeting spot, and suddenly, she poked my arm and said hi. I clasped her hand and cheek-cheek kissed her. Stacey had a quite a talkative and loud personality. We walked to Starbucks and I ordered my hot chocolate. When I went to pay for it, she insisted to pay for it. I was flattered and thought that was very kind of her. I rewarded her with by thanking her and touching her arm. We sat down shortly after receiving our drinks. I sat down on a big couch, but she wanted to sit on a chair, with two chairs facing each other and a big table in between. The distance was definitely too wide and awkward for conversation, but I complied anyway.
After about a minute into talking, I said that my Chinese wasn't good, and it was hard to understand her because she was sitting too far away. I suggested moving to the big couch again, and she complied. I deep dived her about foods she liked, travels, and about her life. It was definitely a difficult endeavour because I could use any English at all, and my spoken Chinese is pretty awful. We relied on using translator apps on our phones, which seemed to frustrate Stacey. She spoke quite loudly, and her personality seemed pretty forthcoming. At one point, she told me that she thought I was cute. I had pretty strong fundamentals and I think my sweet eye contact led to to that statement. It was difficult to physically escalate on her because of the angle at which we were sitting, and it felt a little bit off. The conversation vibe seemed lacking, and perhaps that was because of the language barrier. In any case, after 45 minutes or so of back and forth conversation, I felt it was time to move things forwards. I suggested going for a walk. I followed the exact template as my previous date and suggested walking towards the direction of my hostel. Stacey asked if I wanted her to walk me back to my hostel. I suggested walking around a bit more. I held onto her hand for about 30 seconds, but she let go eventually and put her hands into her pockets because it was cold. She didn't seemed all that thrilled or excited by me. I then suggested we sat down. She complied. I then physically escalated some more and held onto her hands and stroked her thighs. Earlier on during coffee, she said she liked to sing, and so I asked her to sing for me. She had a sweet voice, and after she sung for me, I quickly leaned in and pecked her cheek. This is something I haven't really experimented much with before. Usually I just go in straight for the lips, but this time I figured I'd ease into it a little. Plus, kissing felt natural at that point. "Are you feeling cold?" Stacey asked me at one point. I told her that I wasn't. We chatted a bit more, and the vibe felt intimate. I decided to pull. "Brr, you know what? I'm actually really cold now. We can go to my place where it says warmer. It has a..." I went to my phone to translate 'heater' in Chinese, and showed her. She agreed, and we were arrived at my hostel within 5 minutes.
Something that I did not prepare beforehand, was the lightning in my room. I should've left to the bedside lamps on, for the warm, gently ambience. We walked in and it was pitch black, so I had to turn on the very bright white light. I took off my shoes and told her to take hers off. She refused. So I let it slide. I sat on the bed whilst she played around on her phone, while I stared off into the distance. 30 seconds later, I asked what she was doing. She said that texting her friend to organise a meet up tomorrow. When she was done told her to take off her shoes again, but she didn't want to. I persisted and told her I didn't like having shoes on in my room. She complied. At this point the lighting was very distracting. I'd already turned on the bedside lamps, but I had to switch off the main light. I went to the bathroom and when I returned, I switched off the light. My main focus now was getting her comfortable. She was sitting down with her legs hanging off the bed. The seating position was very awkward to escalate in, so I told her to sit more comfortable with her legs on the bed. She refused. I let it slide, and tried again, pulling her towards me. She uncomfortably complied. I tried to build comfort. I tried my "sweet talk" and cute persona that I was experimenting with in my past dates, but she was not receptive to it at all. I decided to drop it, and continue the seduction with a strong masculine vibe. I lowered my voice greatly. One thing that I found very annoying was that Stacey kept playing with her phone. I didn't know how to get her off it. I tried the 'bored looking off into the distance' thing, but I don't think she caught on that I was bored. At one point, it did frustrate me. I made sure not to show it and playfully told her to silence her phone so that she could give me her full attention. I escalated with kisses on her cheek. I gave her compliments that she was cute, as I kissed her cheeks. I may have over done it, as I was very strongly chasing and she wasn't giving me much back. I eventually leaned to kiss her lips, and she seemed surprised. After attempts to escalate physically even more, I was only met with more resistance and it wasn't getting any easier. At some instances she turned her back coldly on me completely. When I playfully tried to re-engage her. I realised that she didn't seem into it. Coupling that with divided attention and looking at her phone. I felt feelings of annoyance, and defeat. I probably came off as eager as well. I tried my best to hide my feelings of annoyance and defeat. She probably could sense something was amiss though.
Something wasn't right. I decided to ask her outright whether she was having a good time. She said no. At first I thought she was joking so I playfully laughed it off. I told her that it looked like something was on her mind and told her to tell me about it. She told me that she didn't like it when I kissed her (any form of kissing) but she didn't say no because she didn't want to offend me. She told me that Western culture doesn't place much of a big deal on kissing, but kissing should only be done by people dating in Chinese culture. It turned out she'd never kissed a guy before. I proceeded to ask her if she liked holding my hand. She said thay holding hands was fine, since she did it with her girlfriends all the time. I then kissed her hand and asked if she liked it. She said firmly no. At that point, I took a huge step back and didn't even touch her. We talked for a little bit and told her I wouldn't kiss her anymore. After 5 minutes or so, she said she needed to leave. We cheek-cheek kissed and left.
-----
Finishing thoughts:
My interaction with Stacey was a fantastic learning experience for me.
Pros:
- I had a good process.
- I persisted strongly, despite resistance.
- The pull was good.
Cons:
- I misread her comfort levels, and escalated without enough comfort.
- My comfort building was not sufficient.
- My physical escalation was not attuned to her comfort levels.
- My emotional control was poor. I allowed myself to feel annoyed, a bit angry and defeated by her lack of attention (looking at her phone) and resistance thay didn't budge.
- I conveyed too much eagerness in my escalation. I think taking breaks in between resistance and pulling back would've been useful.
I've been giving a lot of consideration to Hector's LMR article, and I for the first time, I tried asking a girl about how she was feeling during escalation. This was a good learning experience for me. I also learned that I need to exercise greater emotional control of my feelings during my seductions.
More reports to come!
Jeffrey
Hey friends!
Here's another report of a Tantan date I went on in Chengdu, China. We shall call her Stacey.
I met 18 year old Stacey outside a shopping mall a short walk from my hostel. She was wearing black ripped jeans, and a blue denim jacket. Her physique was average and sporting some curves. She had blonde chin length hair with bangs. She was wearing quite similar to the outfit to I was wearing. Stacey hardly knew any English, so the whole interaction was carried out in Chinese. This was definitely a challenge. She was around 20 minutes late into meeting, but I wasn't all that fussed. I sat down at the meeting spot, and suddenly, she poked my arm and said hi. I clasped her hand and cheek-cheek kissed her. Stacey had a quite a talkative and loud personality. We walked to Starbucks and I ordered my hot chocolate. When I went to pay for it, she insisted to pay for it. I was flattered and thought that was very kind of her. I rewarded her with by thanking her and touching her arm. We sat down shortly after receiving our drinks. I sat down on a big couch, but she wanted to sit on a chair, with two chairs facing each other and a big table in between. The distance was definitely too wide and awkward for conversation, but I complied anyway.
After about a minute into talking, I said that my Chinese wasn't good, and it was hard to understand her because she was sitting too far away. I suggested moving to the big couch again, and she complied. I deep dived her about foods she liked, travels, and about her life. It was definitely a difficult endeavour because I could use any English at all, and my spoken Chinese is pretty awful. We relied on using translator apps on our phones, which seemed to frustrate Stacey. She spoke quite loudly, and her personality seemed pretty forthcoming. At one point, she told me that she thought I was cute. I had pretty strong fundamentals and I think my sweet eye contact led to to that statement. It was difficult to physically escalate on her because of the angle at which we were sitting, and it felt a little bit off. The conversation vibe seemed lacking, and perhaps that was because of the language barrier. In any case, after 45 minutes or so of back and forth conversation, I felt it was time to move things forwards. I suggested going for a walk. I followed the exact template as my previous date and suggested walking towards the direction of my hostel. Stacey asked if I wanted her to walk me back to my hostel. I suggested walking around a bit more. I held onto her hand for about 30 seconds, but she let go eventually and put her hands into her pockets because it was cold. She didn't seemed all that thrilled or excited by me. I then suggested we sat down. She complied. I then physically escalated some more and held onto her hands and stroked her thighs. Earlier on during coffee, she said she liked to sing, and so I asked her to sing for me. She had a sweet voice, and after she sung for me, I quickly leaned in and pecked her cheek. This is something I haven't really experimented much with before. Usually I just go in straight for the lips, but this time I figured I'd ease into it a little. Plus, kissing felt natural at that point. "Are you feeling cold?" Stacey asked me at one point. I told her that I wasn't. We chatted a bit more, and the vibe felt intimate. I decided to pull. "Brr, you know what? I'm actually really cold now. We can go to my place where it says warmer. It has a..." I went to my phone to translate 'heater' in Chinese, and showed her. She agreed, and we were arrived at my hostel within 5 minutes.
Something that I did not prepare beforehand, was the lightning in my room. I should've left to the bedside lamps on, for the warm, gently ambience. We walked in and it was pitch black, so I had to turn on the very bright white light. I took off my shoes and told her to take hers off. She refused. So I let it slide. I sat on the bed whilst she played around on her phone, while I stared off into the distance. 30 seconds later, I asked what she was doing. She said that texting her friend to organise a meet up tomorrow. When she was done told her to take off her shoes again, but she didn't want to. I persisted and told her I didn't like having shoes on in my room. She complied. At this point the lighting was very distracting. I'd already turned on the bedside lamps, but I had to switch off the main light. I went to the bathroom and when I returned, I switched off the light. My main focus now was getting her comfortable. She was sitting down with her legs hanging off the bed. The seating position was very awkward to escalate in, so I told her to sit more comfortable with her legs on the bed. She refused. I let it slide, and tried again, pulling her towards me. She uncomfortably complied. I tried to build comfort. I tried my "sweet talk" and cute persona that I was experimenting with in my past dates, but she was not receptive to it at all. I decided to drop it, and continue the seduction with a strong masculine vibe. I lowered my voice greatly. One thing that I found very annoying was that Stacey kept playing with her phone. I didn't know how to get her off it. I tried the 'bored looking off into the distance' thing, but I don't think she caught on that I was bored. At one point, it did frustrate me. I made sure not to show it and playfully told her to silence her phone so that she could give me her full attention. I escalated with kisses on her cheek. I gave her compliments that she was cute, as I kissed her cheeks. I may have over done it, as I was very strongly chasing and she wasn't giving me much back. I eventually leaned to kiss her lips, and she seemed surprised. After attempts to escalate physically even more, I was only met with more resistance and it wasn't getting any easier. At some instances she turned her back coldly on me completely. When I playfully tried to re-engage her. I realised that she didn't seem into it. Coupling that with divided attention and looking at her phone. I felt feelings of annoyance, and defeat. I probably came off as eager as well. I tried my best to hide my feelings of annoyance and defeat. She probably could sense something was amiss though.
Something wasn't right. I decided to ask her outright whether she was having a good time. She said no. At first I thought she was joking so I playfully laughed it off. I told her that it looked like something was on her mind and told her to tell me about it. She told me that she didn't like it when I kissed her (any form of kissing) but she didn't say no because she didn't want to offend me. She told me that Western culture doesn't place much of a big deal on kissing, but kissing should only be done by people dating in Chinese culture. It turned out she'd never kissed a guy before. I proceeded to ask her if she liked holding my hand. She said thay holding hands was fine, since she did it with her girlfriends all the time. I then kissed her hand and asked if she liked it. She said firmly no. At that point, I took a huge step back and didn't even touch her. We talked for a little bit and told her I wouldn't kiss her anymore. After 5 minutes or so, she said she needed to leave. We cheek-cheek kissed and left.
-----
Finishing thoughts:
My interaction with Stacey was a fantastic learning experience for me.
Pros:
- I had a good process.
- I persisted strongly, despite resistance.
- The pull was good.
Cons:
- I misread her comfort levels, and escalated without enough comfort.
- My comfort building was not sufficient.
- My physical escalation was not attuned to her comfort levels.
- My emotional control was poor. I allowed myself to feel annoyed, a bit angry and defeated by her lack of attention (looking at her phone) and resistance thay didn't budge.
- I conveyed too much eagerness in my escalation. I think taking breaks in between resistance and pulling back would've been useful.
I've been giving a lot of consideration to Hector's LMR article, and I for the first time, I tried asking a girl about how she was feeling during escalation. This was a good learning experience for me. I also learned that I need to exercise greater emotional control of my feelings during my seductions.
More reports to come!
Jeffrey