Inner Game: slowing down your internal speed

[Prehistoric]

One issue I am still facing (one that has its roots in my personality and needs therefore more time to be addressed) is that I am still "too fast". This means that when I am interacting socially I still tend to let my emotions flow out like a river which can sometimes put some pressure on the girl and, more importantly, doesn't allow me to completely exhibit my masculine traits (the calm, pulled back, effortless man who's in control of himself and directs the interactions at will).

I know perfectly well that my current situation is still much butter than censoring myself and being rigid (like I used to do some time ago). Not only I approach on a regular basis (unlike before) but recently I have managed to let my emotions flow in a way that is engaging, warm and interesting. Still, I see attraction from women spike to a brand new level in those moments when I manage to just pull back and go in "law of the least effort" mode.

I noticed that yesterday in a club. I had been approaching women all night, collected some numbers, danced a bit with some, made out with one, but I was still finding it very difficult to attract the really hot ones. At one point I decided to rest a bit, so I sat on one of those stools clubs have, with my legs opened, back straight and chilled out a bit (the way bouncers sit in clubs) and suddenly even the hot women came dancing close to me. What I then noticed is that once you are in that state of mind and you want to approach one of those smoking hot girls who were rejecting all the guys and now magically are all dancing around you, you cannot do that by switching to your usual hyper-social hyper-enthusiastic self or you will destroy all the attraction you have built in the pre-opening. You'll become like all those guys they are rejecting. Maybe a bit more charming if you worked on your outer game, but still "one of them". You need a whole new way to open and interact. You really need to "transform" yourself.

I was wondering if some of you had similar issues in the past and, if so, how did you train yourself to slow down (internally), take your time, don't rush things, so that your interactions started to naturally become more relaxed and conducive to seduction. Is there some specific exercise you used?

 

[Dude909]

Try meditation? Also try to enjoy yourself... Especially if you're out in bars, listening to the music can be very useful to get out of your head and be "in the moment".

Re: hot girls. Don't treat them differently. That would be putting them on a pedestal => fail.

 

[Prehistoric]

Re: hot girls. Don't treat them differently. That would be putting them on a pedestal => fail.

you’re totally right. what I meant is that, as far as my experience in clubs is concerned, hot girls are the ones getting approached all the time (we are talking twice a minute sometimes) and that they tend to be very close from the beginning to guys who don’t project high value or aren't very original in the way they open (and even the original ones don't last very long if they don't have tight fundamentals). There are exceptions of course (she simply likes you chemically) but most of the time a guy that doesn’t stand out doesn’t even get the chance to talk to them. I have become better at starting conversations, moving things forwards etc.. but from my observation in clubs everything is much much much easier for those super-confident masculine guys who project power and self-control. Some of them can just grab them, start dancing and make out without saying a word. I manage to do that sometimes with average-looking women, but with the hot ones I still don't see the same reaction.

Obviously you also need interacting skills, but when you're that kind of guy you start from a position of strong advantage.

 

[Lotus]

I was wondering if some of you had similar issues in the past and, if so, how did you train yourself to slow down (internally), take your time, don't rush things, so that your interactions started to naturally become more relaxed and conducive to seduction. Is there some specific exercise you used?

Like you, I'm pretty high energy..... What worked for me was internalizing, " I am the prize." Girls have to earn my attention(which is exactly what those girls are thinking). You flip the script on them. The affect is what Dude909 said... no more pedestal.

Differentiating between "hot" and "average girls" is the problem. Somewhere internally you have given yourself a value.

The average girls are below that value and the hot girls are above it, because of that your going to act slightly different around the two types of girls based on your internal scale.

Which obviously is not what you want.... with " I am the prize" your value is the highest and everyone else is below you and now your fundamentals are the same for everyone.

The effect.....I feel like I look like:

super-confident masculine guys who project power and self-control

You can't differentiate yourself from those guys and expect to get results with the girls they do.

That's what works for me at least

 

[Prehistoric]

Like you, I'm pretty high energy..... What worked for me was internalizing, " I am the prize."

Great advice man. I used your suggestion yesterday in a club with this group of girls a friend and I knew from a couple of nights before. As they were dancing, instead of continuously engaging them the all time, I pulled back a bit, even sit on a stool close to where the were dancing thinking "I am the prize here". Reactions were definitely positive.

It's a bit difficult to then regain sociality after that, but at one point I started to see there's a way for that too.

So thanks.

 

[Lotus]

Awesome. Glad it helped