- Joined
- Jul 31, 2023
- Messages
- 418
Yesterday I had one of the most inspiring experiences of my life. One of my general issues regarding game has always been the difficulty to believe that the women I consider the most attractive can be naturally attracted to me. And yesterday, I felt for the first time that I had this confirmed! The only problem? I was probably not ready enough for it...
It hasn't been a very good day for me. I have been going out daygaming during the week without much success ( a.k.a. one-two numbers that barely respond), to the point that I started getting a bit bitter about it. What is more I had some stomachache and headache the last couple days so I wasn't in the best mood. Nevertheless I decide to go out around late afternoon and have a walk in the city, which lately translates to: impossible to not approach beautiful girls that pass by.
I dress casually as usual, a pair of blue snickers with brown/red details, skinny chino in terra cotta color, a long sleeved red T-shirt with a faintly appearing stamp, and a blue light jacket with some red details. After I exit the house, still feeling a bit unwell, I don't manage to walk for a minute and see a very good looking woman walking towards me. I stop her, open her pretty weakly and she discards me equally quickly.
Knowing I have just made a weak impression on another very attractive girl I go to take the train to the city center, wondering when I will even get the chance to meet another girl like that. While trying to bring myself back to the present, I arrive at the city center and start walking along the river towards the lake of the city. I know this area is one of the best spots for tourists and locals alike, so I have it as my main daygame one. Around the time I reach the lake I've done 2-3 approaches that did not hook, and decide to have something to eat for dinner. It's a bit after 7 o'clock, I grab a sausage in one hand, a piece of bread in the other and keep walking while eating. I guess I didn't believe I would happen to meet the most attractive girl I've gone out with, with some sausage in my mouth...
And you better believe it happened. I am walking towards a crossing of a main road with traffic lights. And I see her coming from the other side. I decide I want to talk to her immediately, cannot recognise all the characteristics but she looks exactly my type, even more than the previous girl. I start walking slower, so that she has time to cross the road and I can stop her after and not during the crossing. And then she comes close...
Tall, with me being around 6'0 she is at least 5'10 and with her cute short shandal heels even just a bit taller than me. Blond, with straight hair going up until the end of the neck. Classy, looking like all her clothes are designer brands, her small bag, her lovely pink/white t-shirt and white shorts. And all the rest, from her french nails, her nose and face shape, her slim body and long bare legs, all the way to her toes. I mean I am not that much of a foot fetishist but she even has toes in a way I love, literally she feels like how I would try to describe an ideal woman. So it begins.
"Hey I saw you walking and you look lovely", I say with a fairly ok voice this time. "Oh thank you" she smiles. We exchange names. "Are you from around here?" I ask. "I'm Ukrainian, but I've been working here for some years she says". Of course you are, there is something about Eastern European's and especially Ukrainians that has been pulling me towards them since I remember. Not long after we exchange one two more short questions she says it: "Hey let's go and sit somewhere to talk".
She points towards the other side of the road to the lake. I am startled for a moment, I blurt something like: "Oh yes, sure we can, let's just go from here, oh, we wait for the light first", visibly confused, but I pull myself, shut my blurting mouth and start walking with her. Now the reason I am startled is not that she wants to talk with me. It is that she wants it so fast, and she is also leading the interaction, so she is either crazy for me, or she thinks I am no challenge at all, and I kinda feel it's probably the second.
We cross the road, go towards the lake, I see an open bench area, show it, and say something like:"what about here", she comes with me and we sit, next to each other but with enough distance that you could squeeze another person between as. She seems pretty open though and smiling a lot. .We talk a bunch about our places and studies.
During this period she also fills the void of conversation with a question once and at some point I qualify her saying I like how open and positive she looks always smiling. She tells me she enjoys being like that, she was even giving compliments to random girls walking around before meeting me and says she is very talkative so it's good I am not that much. At some other point when I ask if she is ambitious and she says she were but now no, I jokingly say ok why I am even here, and turn around like I would leave before turning back. The interaction has a good vibe, she seems to be genuinely appreciating things I say to her, so before long I drop it looking straight in her eyes: "Do you have any plans for later?" "Not really" "Let's have a drink" "Yeah sure, you have a favourite place?" "I don't have one favourite place, there are some nice bars next to here, we can pick one that is close, I have some in mind"
Like that, instant date with a girl I consider a ten. Only problem ? You remember the sausage and the bread ? They are still in my hand. During this whole part of the interaction I've managed to only touch her once-twice on her upper arm with my other hand. What I get for being a slow eater... Or basically not eating much being focused on her... After she politely rejects my offer for some sausage ( not the one you are thinking about naughty boys ), I start eating faster, telling her to talk more to fill the conversation gap. She asks if I know where we are going and I tell her yes, I know a great bar, it's pretty famous but a bit hidden, and show her where it is. Before we get very close to the bar I propose to her to sit at another bench for me to finish my food first, she complies and we do.
During this period we talk a bit more. I don't really want to get very deep now though, because what I am trying to do is stuff this food deep inside my belly fast.
Shortly I finish and we eventually walk to the bar. We get in and sit at two couches with a 90 degree angle between them. No better place to sit closer.
When they bring the drinks, I offer her a sip of my cocktail, and then I take one of her wine telling her it is strong. She asks if I said that just because she did and I respond that yeah exactly that, I have no opinions of my own, and she laughs.
The vibe here is for sure more intimate, dimmed lighting, no music, but I soon realise having alcohol has been a mistake. In the state I have been since earlier alcohol doesn't make things better at my stomach at all, and i notice I have trouble bringing a good sexual vibe with my nonverbals. I keep eye contact, stay focused on her, but I cannot feel really aroused, partly because of the seating and partly of my literal internal struggles. Due to this I get the feeling that it would very difficult to escalate the vibe in this location leading to something more today.
Now I know that this is no excuse to not push forward, but it does make me think that it can be better to connect more, and not push for a lot today and crash the date. What is more, this woman has been probably the best-looking one I've ever been out with, and also hard working, positive, self growth oriented, in general a woman I could surely see myself doing more with based on the info I have until now. So yeah I do have some subconscious fear of loss that I can't fully control and makes me not want to take huge risks. For example I could ask her to come a bit closer to me in the couch, but I hesitate feeling our vibe is not conducive to that.
I still try to make some progress though. In the bar I decide to probe a little deeper and ask her about how she sees and approaches relationships. She says she doesn't easily make friends, I ask her if she believes she has a bitch face, and that I feel most people would just think she is only a cute blond with no brain, and she laughs saying it is exactly what happens. She also says she has been hurt, she was married, spent a lot of time focused on her family, and now getting out of it. I tell her that I believe that to get into a deep relationship you have to really connect with a person, feel that they are someone special to you, and this can come with time.
In general that is a point that I feel I am being genuine, I really believe that a woman I would like something more with, like a serious monogamous relationship or a family, is someone I'd have to get to know first quite well before deciding on this relationship, but what I don't do is really say anything about sex being a big part of it all which is also true.
After this discussion, I tell her some things about the way she comes off that I like about her and I ask her about myself. She says that I am very calm, which relaxes her and that I am great listener. After a while and talking some more about stuff like her tattoos she suddenly hits it:"I think I've got to slowly go" home"
At this moment I am fully fine with ending the date and continuing some other time. I feel there is a bubble created with good connection, but one that cannot really lead somewhere tonight. Her pupils also look dilated so she seems interested in me and I believe that getting a second meeting with better logistics will be preferable.
Some time passes after I've offered to pay and I ask her if she is ready to go, we leave, and I show her the way for the train station. As we are walking together next to each other. I start feeling more excited about her again. I realise the seating really wasn't good, and walking with fresh air is helping with my stomach/vibe issues. I touch the small of her back leading her more. I start getting harder for her again, which I wasn't for a bunch of time before. And I do feel she senses it. But still we only have some minutes to wait at the train platform and it feels that any overt escalation move now will be too much.
What I try to do is tease a bit more. Then I tell her I enjoy the time with her, and ask to meet again, she says yes and that we should exchange numbers. We do that, talk some more, she tells me I am looking her so intensely in her eyes and wonders what I'm thinking, and I tell her: "I like you so I look at you, you can look at me as well", feeling that it is quite bold, but also not very sure of it.
Then a bit before the train comes I try to seed ideas for next meeting. The whole energy now feels pretty good to me, and I realise that she is standing with her feet and whole body pointing towards me while talking, while I am pointed slightly away from her. And finally the moment of truth, the train comes, and we go for a hug.
I am not planning to kiss, it will feel too forced, so we do just hug, but she literally falls all over me while I remain grounded and straight as I hug her for some seconds. It feels truly incredible, such a girl, hugging me in a way that to me screams she really like me... All these create this illusion in my mind that this connection will continue for sure, and a second date is in my back pocket. An hour later, I send my icebreaker text on whatsapp with a reference to a joke made about how I'd call her earlier: Hey burger girl, it's [name].
A bit more than a day later this message remains unseen...
And now some of you may be asking ( or well, probably not you in the forum, but pretty surely most average guys out there ): How is that really inspiring man, shouldn't you get even more depressed by losing another stunning girl like that?
The thing is after this experience I have a number of positive realisations:
First of all, no matter what kind of attractive girl rejects you, it will always be possible to find an ever more attractive one, as long as you keep putting yourself out there. The second one is that very attractive girls that are exactly my type is possible to feel attraction towards me. Now this one was not fully proved since I didn't do something with the girl here, but I still believe this is mostly because of me not capitalizing on any existing attraction compared to no attraction existing at all. It has also been a very inspiring experience for this reason. It is possible to eventually get and be with the women I fully desire if I improve my presentation and execution. That's enough for me to keep me going out there looking for them and not settling for less.
Of course, there are a number of these things I can improve coming out of this experience as well. One is to find ways to be around women like that more, in order to feel naturally abundant when it comes to interacting with them. The other is to find the right balance between connecting and getting sexual. In general my pattern is that with girls I don't like that much I come off as too much of a fuckboy and with girls I like a lot more as too much of a nice guy. And although I don't care a lot about changing for the first group, I do care about the second group. So clearly I have to find ways to sexualise more the interactions I have with the girls I desire the most. It's not even that I give a friendly vibe, I don't think this girl in the report would think of me as a nice guy friend really, I had her talk way more, and I don't think she even knows any of my hobbies. I feel that a lot of times I get girls talking a lot and sharing things, and the vibe is intimate, but there is simply no move made to really take it a step further. And my rationalisation until now has been that I want some signs to go for closer touching, or kissing, or inviting home, because just pushing these things to girls that were not ready didn't help in the past. I feel I have to find ways to make girls ready for the next steps, then recognize the moment, and finally act on it.
I am pretty newbie anyway, and until now the few women I've slept with were very excited about me, so it was very clear how to proceed. With higher caliber women that may show you some interest but it's not so obvious and they don't just fall over you, I yet haven't had success, but they are my goal, so I have to learn how to escalate with them.
PS. I have been following the website for a while learning numerous things, so I want to thank all the contributors. This is my first post here, it was such an intense experience for me that I really wanted to come and share. Never written a field report before so every suggestion regarding it is welcome, as well as of course all comments about the game part. There is nothing I love more than learning and improving
It hasn't been a very good day for me. I have been going out daygaming during the week without much success ( a.k.a. one-two numbers that barely respond), to the point that I started getting a bit bitter about it. What is more I had some stomachache and headache the last couple days so I wasn't in the best mood. Nevertheless I decide to go out around late afternoon and have a walk in the city, which lately translates to: impossible to not approach beautiful girls that pass by.
I dress casually as usual, a pair of blue snickers with brown/red details, skinny chino in terra cotta color, a long sleeved red T-shirt with a faintly appearing stamp, and a blue light jacket with some red details. After I exit the house, still feeling a bit unwell, I don't manage to walk for a minute and see a very good looking woman walking towards me. I stop her, open her pretty weakly and she discards me equally quickly.
Knowing I have just made a weak impression on another very attractive girl I go to take the train to the city center, wondering when I will even get the chance to meet another girl like that. While trying to bring myself back to the present, I arrive at the city center and start walking along the river towards the lake of the city. I know this area is one of the best spots for tourists and locals alike, so I have it as my main daygame one. Around the time I reach the lake I've done 2-3 approaches that did not hook, and decide to have something to eat for dinner. It's a bit after 7 o'clock, I grab a sausage in one hand, a piece of bread in the other and keep walking while eating. I guess I didn't believe I would happen to meet the most attractive girl I've gone out with, with some sausage in my mouth...
And you better believe it happened. I am walking towards a crossing of a main road with traffic lights. And I see her coming from the other side. I decide I want to talk to her immediately, cannot recognise all the characteristics but she looks exactly my type, even more than the previous girl. I start walking slower, so that she has time to cross the road and I can stop her after and not during the crossing. And then she comes close...
Tall, with me being around 6'0 she is at least 5'10 and with her cute short shandal heels even just a bit taller than me. Blond, with straight hair going up until the end of the neck. Classy, looking like all her clothes are designer brands, her small bag, her lovely pink/white t-shirt and white shorts. And all the rest, from her french nails, her nose and face shape, her slim body and long bare legs, all the way to her toes. I mean I am not that much of a foot fetishist but she even has toes in a way I love, literally she feels like how I would try to describe an ideal woman. So it begins.
"Hey I saw you walking and you look lovely", I say with a fairly ok voice this time. "Oh thank you" she smiles. We exchange names. "Are you from around here?" I ask. "I'm Ukrainian, but I've been working here for some years she says". Of course you are, there is something about Eastern European's and especially Ukrainians that has been pulling me towards them since I remember. Not long after we exchange one two more short questions she says it: "Hey let's go and sit somewhere to talk".
She points towards the other side of the road to the lake. I am startled for a moment, I blurt something like: "Oh yes, sure we can, let's just go from here, oh, we wait for the light first", visibly confused, but I pull myself, shut my blurting mouth and start walking with her. Now the reason I am startled is not that she wants to talk with me. It is that she wants it so fast, and she is also leading the interaction, so she is either crazy for me, or she thinks I am no challenge at all, and I kinda feel it's probably the second.
We cross the road, go towards the lake, I see an open bench area, show it, and say something like:"what about here", she comes with me and we sit, next to each other but with enough distance that you could squeeze another person between as. She seems pretty open though and smiling a lot. .We talk a bunch about our places and studies.
During this period she also fills the void of conversation with a question once and at some point I qualify her saying I like how open and positive she looks always smiling. She tells me she enjoys being like that, she was even giving compliments to random girls walking around before meeting me and says she is very talkative so it's good I am not that much. At some other point when I ask if she is ambitious and she says she were but now no, I jokingly say ok why I am even here, and turn around like I would leave before turning back. The interaction has a good vibe, she seems to be genuinely appreciating things I say to her, so before long I drop it looking straight in her eyes: "Do you have any plans for later?" "Not really" "Let's have a drink" "Yeah sure, you have a favourite place?" "I don't have one favourite place, there are some nice bars next to here, we can pick one that is close, I have some in mind"
Like that, instant date with a girl I consider a ten. Only problem ? You remember the sausage and the bread ? They are still in my hand. During this whole part of the interaction I've managed to only touch her once-twice on her upper arm with my other hand. What I get for being a slow eater... Or basically not eating much being focused on her... After she politely rejects my offer for some sausage ( not the one you are thinking about naughty boys ), I start eating faster, telling her to talk more to fill the conversation gap. She asks if I know where we are going and I tell her yes, I know a great bar, it's pretty famous but a bit hidden, and show her where it is. Before we get very close to the bar I propose to her to sit at another bench for me to finish my food first, she complies and we do.
During this period we talk a bit more. I don't really want to get very deep now though, because what I am trying to do is stuff this food deep inside my belly fast.
Shortly I finish and we eventually walk to the bar. We get in and sit at two couches with a 90 degree angle between them. No better place to sit closer.
When they bring the drinks, I offer her a sip of my cocktail, and then I take one of her wine telling her it is strong. She asks if I said that just because she did and I respond that yeah exactly that, I have no opinions of my own, and she laughs.
The vibe here is for sure more intimate, dimmed lighting, no music, but I soon realise having alcohol has been a mistake. In the state I have been since earlier alcohol doesn't make things better at my stomach at all, and i notice I have trouble bringing a good sexual vibe with my nonverbals. I keep eye contact, stay focused on her, but I cannot feel really aroused, partly because of the seating and partly of my literal internal struggles. Due to this I get the feeling that it would very difficult to escalate the vibe in this location leading to something more today.
Now I know that this is no excuse to not push forward, but it does make me think that it can be better to connect more, and not push for a lot today and crash the date. What is more, this woman has been probably the best-looking one I've ever been out with, and also hard working, positive, self growth oriented, in general a woman I could surely see myself doing more with based on the info I have until now. So yeah I do have some subconscious fear of loss that I can't fully control and makes me not want to take huge risks. For example I could ask her to come a bit closer to me in the couch, but I hesitate feeling our vibe is not conducive to that.
I still try to make some progress though. In the bar I decide to probe a little deeper and ask her about how she sees and approaches relationships. She says she doesn't easily make friends, I ask her if she believes she has a bitch face, and that I feel most people would just think she is only a cute blond with no brain, and she laughs saying it is exactly what happens. She also says she has been hurt, she was married, spent a lot of time focused on her family, and now getting out of it. I tell her that I believe that to get into a deep relationship you have to really connect with a person, feel that they are someone special to you, and this can come with time.
In general that is a point that I feel I am being genuine, I really believe that a woman I would like something more with, like a serious monogamous relationship or a family, is someone I'd have to get to know first quite well before deciding on this relationship, but what I don't do is really say anything about sex being a big part of it all which is also true.
After this discussion, I tell her some things about the way she comes off that I like about her and I ask her about myself. She says that I am very calm, which relaxes her and that I am great listener. After a while and talking some more about stuff like her tattoos she suddenly hits it:"I think I've got to slowly go" home"
At this moment I am fully fine with ending the date and continuing some other time. I feel there is a bubble created with good connection, but one that cannot really lead somewhere tonight. Her pupils also look dilated so she seems interested in me and I believe that getting a second meeting with better logistics will be preferable.
Some time passes after I've offered to pay and I ask her if she is ready to go, we leave, and I show her the way for the train station. As we are walking together next to each other. I start feeling more excited about her again. I realise the seating really wasn't good, and walking with fresh air is helping with my stomach/vibe issues. I touch the small of her back leading her more. I start getting harder for her again, which I wasn't for a bunch of time before. And I do feel she senses it. But still we only have some minutes to wait at the train platform and it feels that any overt escalation move now will be too much.
What I try to do is tease a bit more. Then I tell her I enjoy the time with her, and ask to meet again, she says yes and that we should exchange numbers. We do that, talk some more, she tells me I am looking her so intensely in her eyes and wonders what I'm thinking, and I tell her: "I like you so I look at you, you can look at me as well", feeling that it is quite bold, but also not very sure of it.
Then a bit before the train comes I try to seed ideas for next meeting. The whole energy now feels pretty good to me, and I realise that she is standing with her feet and whole body pointing towards me while talking, while I am pointed slightly away from her. And finally the moment of truth, the train comes, and we go for a hug.
I am not planning to kiss, it will feel too forced, so we do just hug, but she literally falls all over me while I remain grounded and straight as I hug her for some seconds. It feels truly incredible, such a girl, hugging me in a way that to me screams she really like me... All these create this illusion in my mind that this connection will continue for sure, and a second date is in my back pocket. An hour later, I send my icebreaker text on whatsapp with a reference to a joke made about how I'd call her earlier: Hey burger girl, it's [name].
A bit more than a day later this message remains unseen...
And now some of you may be asking ( or well, probably not you in the forum, but pretty surely most average guys out there ): How is that really inspiring man, shouldn't you get even more depressed by losing another stunning girl like that?
The thing is after this experience I have a number of positive realisations:
First of all, no matter what kind of attractive girl rejects you, it will always be possible to find an ever more attractive one, as long as you keep putting yourself out there. The second one is that very attractive girls that are exactly my type is possible to feel attraction towards me. Now this one was not fully proved since I didn't do something with the girl here, but I still believe this is mostly because of me not capitalizing on any existing attraction compared to no attraction existing at all. It has also been a very inspiring experience for this reason. It is possible to eventually get and be with the women I fully desire if I improve my presentation and execution. That's enough for me to keep me going out there looking for them and not settling for less.
Of course, there are a number of these things I can improve coming out of this experience as well. One is to find ways to be around women like that more, in order to feel naturally abundant when it comes to interacting with them. The other is to find the right balance between connecting and getting sexual. In general my pattern is that with girls I don't like that much I come off as too much of a fuckboy and with girls I like a lot more as too much of a nice guy. And although I don't care a lot about changing for the first group, I do care about the second group. So clearly I have to find ways to sexualise more the interactions I have with the girls I desire the most. It's not even that I give a friendly vibe, I don't think this girl in the report would think of me as a nice guy friend really, I had her talk way more, and I don't think she even knows any of my hobbies. I feel that a lot of times I get girls talking a lot and sharing things, and the vibe is intimate, but there is simply no move made to really take it a step further. And my rationalisation until now has been that I want some signs to go for closer touching, or kissing, or inviting home, because just pushing these things to girls that were not ready didn't help in the past. I feel I have to find ways to make girls ready for the next steps, then recognize the moment, and finally act on it.
I am pretty newbie anyway, and until now the few women I've slept with were very excited about me, so it was very clear how to proceed. With higher caliber women that may show you some interest but it's not so obvious and they don't just fall over you, I yet haven't had success, but they are my goal, so I have to learn how to escalate with them.
PS. I have been following the website for a while learning numerous things, so I want to thank all the contributors. This is my first post here, it was such an intense experience for me that I really wanted to come and share. Never written a field report before so every suggestion regarding it is welcome, as well as of course all comments about the game part. There is nothing I love more than learning and improving
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