Hey guys, so a lot of the time that I talk to women, especially during cold approaches, I can't keep an interesting conversation going. It's usually very superficial and boring. I end up just taking their number and walking away. How do I livin up my conversations and keep them more exotic and fun?
I have the same issue, particularly with those women who respond rly bad with short answers with nothing to work with. I usually end up ejecting after 1 min. Sometimes it's also myself playing too safe and never getting a connection. Actually when I do get some kind of connection it's when we're both "guessing" each other instead of spilling the beans because you force them to suddenly invest a bit more.
But I'd like to know what the experienced ones here say to this, so BUMP
But I'd like to know what the experienced ones here say to this, so BUMP
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- Sep 14, 2013
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Lower the bar for how 'interesting' it has to be. Setting high standards just puts pressure on yourself and you'll start filtering yourself and end up not being relaxed enough to say the things you want to say, i.e. you start playing safe instead.
If the conversation is superficial, it means you're not talking about her. Make assumptions about her and stay on the topic she brought up.
If the conversation is superficial, it means you're not talking about her. Make assumptions about her and stay on the topic she brought up.
I suppose if they don answer with short sentences then their attraction is very low and you just eject?
I do at times actually talk too much about the area instead of asking into her and I think most of the times happen when I don't feel attraction from them or/and I'm a little nervous.
Definetly not. Even in warm ups I will be a bit longer to see if I can get some spark out because that in itself is also training.Cannon821 said:
A lot of ppl are recommending just to move on but it's detrimental to your lerning progress and you won't get better at scoring girls who got low attraction towards you. I'd say, don't give up right away but don't stay for too long either if it's going no where.
When you say "pauses" how long are these pauses?
Get her talking about herself, most women can talk your ear off if you know how to ask the right questions.
If a girl is giving short answers, I'll usually tease longer responses out of them. "What, you don't like to talk about yourself?" or "That's it huh? Just.... yes? It's that easy to you is it?" Usually the girl will giggle and then try to fix things by answering the question more fully.
If a girl is giving short answers, I'll usually tease longer responses out of them. "What, you don't like to talk about yourself?" or "That's it huh? Just.... yes? It's that easy to you is it?" Usually the girl will giggle and then try to fix things by answering the question more fully.
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Try to start off by being relevant to the situation at hand, with some light deep diving mixed in. Also try to add a little bit of humor if you need to liven things up a bit in the beginning. If you can, or want to, try to use well-placed and well-timed sexual humor because it will either screen out girls who aren't into you or liven things up and let her know what you're about. An alternate option is to just work on your sexy vibe and nonverbals.
Also keep in mind that your vibe and her emotional state will play a role in how she responds to you. If you're nervous, then she'll also feel a bit nervous; if you approach her in a super calm and serious way when she's super excited and jumpy, then she'll write you off because she may want to remain jolly and not have you bring her down.
If she continues to not invest in the interaction after building some rapport, then yes, use some social pressure to get her putting in more effort, but there's a socially graceful way of pressuring her and a socially brash way of doing it. One good way is to just sit silently and gaze into her eyes with a slight smile for a bit, then slowly look off to the side with a slightly bored look. And make sure to reward her when she puts in effort.
If you're cold approaching in a day game setting (basically not parties or bars or clubs), then you shouldn't take their short responses as a lack of attraction. You should at least try to stick it out a little longer and observe her body language for signs of attraction. For example, if you're on the street and you're trying to chat up a girl with plenty of pauses and leisure in your speech, and she's giving you short responses but her eyes are focused on you, her body is open and facing you, and she isn't ejecting herself with something like "I have a boyfriend" or "I need to meet up with my friend", then stick it out even if she isn't smiling. You have to keep in mind that very very few men cold approach, so she might simply just be dazed because you could be the first guy who has ever approached her. There's also a chance that she might be nervous because she's young and/or socially inexperienced, or she could be socially experienced and just feeling you out. In both cases you should stay and let her warm up to you.Man-O said:
Also keep in mind that your vibe and her emotional state will play a role in how she responds to you. If you're nervous, then she'll also feel a bit nervous; if you approach her in a super calm and serious way when she's super excited and jumpy, then she'll write you off because she may want to remain jolly and not have you bring her down.
I personally think that you should try to make things easier for the girls. They're on your team--help them loosen up to you rather than pressuring her, especially in the early stages of interaction.someone said:
If she continues to not invest in the interaction after building some rapport, then yes, use some social pressure to get her putting in more effort, but there's a socially graceful way of pressuring her and a socially brash way of doing it. One good way is to just sit silently and gaze into her eyes with a slight smile for a bit, then slowly look off to the side with a slightly bored look. And make sure to reward her when she puts in effort.