Internal debate....Moral responsibility of PICK UP????????

[bitBYbit]

After I found Girlschase about a year ago, I was really excited. Although I didn't apply the tactics right away much practically, I know almost everything about theory there is to know. Because of that, I can tell my vibe has changed a lot, and I can catch girls' attention if I want to quite easily these days.

Recently however, I left my approach anxiety behind, and got a phone number of a girl within about 3 or 4 minutes of talking. By looks, she is a girl who is attractive to me enough to be my gf if I wanted her.

It has been a few days, and I called once, and texted too. Yesterday, I texted the girl to check if we can meet today, and she at first said she'll see, when I persisted, she said she cannot due to her other commitments. However, she texted 'sorry, please don't mind'....again when i sent good night after that, she again asked if i was angry.

The thing is, I'm quite confused whether to actually go picking up girls. I fear breaking hearts. She might have feelings, and even if she does not have, when I'll meet other girls in future and my game will be tight, there will be 100s of girls who will be head over heels with me, only to never get me. I just don't want to be that guy who gives so much unbearable pain to so many people, because love hurts!

Are you guys following what I'm saying? Even though I was pretty excited at first, I'm internally debating now because of the moral implications attached.

I'm here because I think subconsciously I'm afraid of getting my heart broken, although I never had a relationship. But I also want to find a near-perfect girl(s) after evaluating 100s or 1000s of girls. Is there any way to go about it without breaking hearts when I become irresistible in future?

And I'm not from the US, if that makes sense. Girls do not have too many options, and tend to get attached quickly if a guy is attractive, or after getting physical.

 

[Chase]

Bit-

Welcome aboard, and glad to see you've started the motor on applying what you've learned. My comments:

Recently however, I left my approach anxiety behind, and got a phone number of a girl within about 3 or 4 minutes of talking. By looks, she is a girl who is attractive to me enough to be my gf if I wanted her.

It has been a few days, and I called once, and texted too. Yesterday, I texted the girl to check if we can meet today, and she at first said she'll see, when I persisted, she said she cannot due to her other commitments. However, she texted 'sorry, please don't mind'....again when i sent good night after that, she again asked if i was angry.

The thing is, I'm quite confused whether to actually go picking up girls. I fear breaking hearts. She might have feelings, and even if she does not have, when I'll meet other girls in future and my game will be tight, there will be 100s of girls who will be head over heels with me, only to never get me. I just don't want to be that guy who gives so much unbearable pain to so many people, because love hurts!

It's pretty common if you're a high empathy individual to over-imagine the effects you have on other people. I used to think that for girls, losing me was like a death sentence for their lifetime happiness; how could they ever replace someone as wonderful as me?

What you find out once you start having relationships and dating and having things work out is that women are extremely resilient. They'll get upset or heartbroken for a short while... and then they bounce back like rubber bouncing balls, and you'd never even know they'd been lovesick a few weeks ago.

Don't worry about this too much. Be nice to girls; don't hurt their feelings; but, on the other hand, don't assume that a girl's life will turn upside down because the guy she shared a few minutes of conversation with and a text conversation with stopped writing her back. I've yet to meet a girl who gets crushed for more than a few days because of something like this (and most don't get crushed at all). It's a bit longer when it's a girl you've actually been sexual with, but even then, you might be surprised at how often women sleep with men and don't get attached... even women you thought were soft / conservative / would be instantly hooked for life.

And I'm not from the US, if that makes sense. Girls do not have too many options, and tend to get attached quickly if a guy is attractive, or after getting physical.

What part of the world are you from? In Latin America, women get intensely possessive, but get over it fast - and sometimes even are acting possessive even as THEY date a number of different men. In Asia, women seem to take breakups pretty thoughtfully; East Asian women seem to analyze what happened and decide to do things differently in the future, while SE Asian women get angry or upset, but are over it not too much later.

Generally what you see across all cultures is that the men struggle to get over women much more than women do men.

Chase

 

[bitBYbit]

Welcome aboard, and glad to see you've started the motor on applying what you've learned.

Thanks Chase! I was secretly hoping you'd reply, more than any one else. Actually I was talking about a girl getting attached after I get physical with her, like intense makeouts, not simple exchange of texts or calls. Because I'm pretty sure she never met a guy who got her phone number within 3 minutes, only to apologize herself for not being able to meet up just after 4 days of meeting.

Besides, all the while I used commands:

1. When I asked if we could meet again, she was debating, and I said come on say yes, say yes very calmly and slowly.....until she gave in and said 'where?'....
2. When she asked where to meet, I said 'I can just grab your number', and then gave her my phone as she put the number
3. The day I called, she was confused whether Sunday was 9th, she asked me, but I said "Just check..." to get her investing, and she asked one family member and said it was 9th
4. When asking for date, I sent 'I suppose we're meeting tomorrow?', not to appear chasing
5. As she said she couldn't meet because of practice, I sent 'no problem...gud 9t!' for unfazed impression
6. Again she sent "Did you mind?"....I wrote something and then wrote 'don't worry...sleep tight'...as to give her the impression that she was pursuing

So I believe my impression was okay.

What you find out once you start having relationships and dating and having things work out is that women are extremely resilient. They'll get upset or heartbroken for a short while... and then they bounce back like rubber bouncing balls, and you'd never even know they'd been lovesick a few weeks ago.

Having said that, I have no doubt that what you're saying is very much accurate. I'll keep that in mind.

What part of the world are you from?

As of my location, I'm from South Asia, India. I doubt an average women sleeps with more than 2 guys before marriage here, but that may be because of the pressure from the society.

I have 3 confusions Chase:

1. As sex is not exactly too common (for instance, a girl will have sex, and nobody will know except her close friends; sex rarely happens if the guy is not known for a long period of time), should I refrain from having sex, as you say in one of your articles that the primary reason it is a must to have sex is because somebody else may give her better sex meanwhile, and she may not come back. As in this part of the world that is rarely a concern, as she is unlikely to meet someone sexual within a short period of time like a month or so when I'm evaluating whether to get serious, should I just make out and leave at that, in order to get out of the friend zone? Any chance, that will be enough in case I decide to have a girl as gf later?

I like sex, and I won't mind having it. But for most girls, it is a big decision here as majority of women even near 20 tend to be virgin. If I can eliminate the chance of a girl getting stolen just by a bit of intense make out, I will be fine without sex when I see that a girl is acting too soft.

2. Also, how do I set the tone that I'm not going to be forever, should I say something like "HB, you need to understand that I'm like the wind, I come and go, and there are no promises!" after I kiss or make out, casually without making it a big deal? Or should I not say anything at all? How do I make sure that she gets the hint that I'm not too serious?

3. In case, even after months of knowing a girl, I want a girl in my life for periodic makeouts and kisses, none of us getting too emotional or attached in the process; or going to movies and spending time like special friends after months of first meeting, how do I go about it? Is that possible, or a girl will totally close herself from such type of situations or advances?

It'll truly help to get your suggestions regarding the above questions....thanks!