I'm going to apologize up front for the length of this, and say that the bottom paragraph holds my actual questions.
Let me start by saying that this is my first post. I've never even really been part of a forum before. After reading all of these posts from the community here, I've decided to create an account. I hope to be able to learn and share with all of you.
I came to GC for the first time almost a year ago now. I was looking for advice on how to proceed with a girl who had a boyfriend at the time. I ended up not getting anywhere with her, despite her strong feelings for me. While that didn't work out how I wanted it to, it did lead me here. When I found this site I began absorbing everything. I relate strongly to the advice given here by everyone. I find it to be smart, accurate, written well, and in a way that I think. I view this place as a resource on life, not seduction. The material on seduction is obviously useful, and highly informative. Though, I find the general life advice to be very enlightened, and the reason I've come back to this site day after day. (i.e. overcoming fears, how to master anything, etc.).
Saying that, the point of my post is seduction. I'm now 31 years old, and reading the material on this site has been a lot of duh! moments for me. Duh, as in it makes so much sense that I can't believe I didn't see it before. A lot of what is taught here I do naturally, I've never had a problem with talking to people, meeting people, or anything like that. My problem has been a combination of a couple things.
First being that I was raised by my mother, who was a single parent. She did a terrific job, but she instilled in me a few things that have made getting laid more difficult that it should be. I never knew why it was so hard till I found this site. It's often been said on here not to get advice from women about women, because they don't know what they really want. They know some ideal that our society has made them think they want. Sadly when "nice guys", such as I was raised to be, give them exactly that, 9 out of 10 times it doesn't work. "Why buy the cow if you’re getting the milk for free" is a saying I've heard used to try and make women withhold sex from a man to get him in a relationship. Though, if you take that same saying and apply it to nice guys that give these girls relationship type attention without sex, it hold pretty true as well. This site has really helped me to push aside my white knight/ nice guy mentality, and I've noticed that my interactions with girls have been more flirtatious and to the point that I want them to be, but I'm not quite there yet. I have one other giant obstacle in my brain... Looks...
My mother was poor, so I grew up in cheap clothes. I never got braces, so my teeth are extremely crooked. I'm 6'5" and 160 lbs. (very skinny) Though, I believe I have an attractive face (until I smile/ laugh). Now how I said this might lead some to believe that I have a low self-esteem, and that is not the case at all. I quickly decided that looks didn't matter when I was young, and didn't let my clothes, or teeth, or any awkwardness get in my way. As a result, I was friends with the prettiest girls in school, all the guys liked me. I was an excellent conversationalist, deep-diving and being empathetic have always been second nature to me. So while I've always known that people like me, I've always been afraid in the back of my head that women aren't attracted to me. That, coupled with my mother's teachings of romance and kindness, kept my feet firmly in the center of the friendzone. Hell, I've probably got a statue in the friendzone commending all my years of inhabitance.
The overly long point I'm trying to get to is; while I am working on my fundamentals (I'm working out, gaining weight, standing up straight, walking slower, talking slower, etc.) my teeth are my largest concern, and the hardest to fix. My place of employ has recently got new insurance that is active at the beginning of the year, and it includes dental. I plan on taking full advantage, but that won't magically make them straight. I feel like I'm destined to be single until I get them fixed, because the quality of girl I'm looking for is turned off by my mouth. What should I do? Sleep with a lower quality of woman until I get my mouth fixed, or just try to move forward with woman anyway? Every lay or girlfriend I've had in my life has been a friendzone escape. I feel like I don't have a chance until a girl gets to know me. I know its flawed thinking, but it is how I've always operated. Again sorry for the long read, and I thank you all in advance for your future comments and advice.
Let me start by saying that this is my first post. I've never even really been part of a forum before. After reading all of these posts from the community here, I've decided to create an account. I hope to be able to learn and share with all of you.
I came to GC for the first time almost a year ago now. I was looking for advice on how to proceed with a girl who had a boyfriend at the time. I ended up not getting anywhere with her, despite her strong feelings for me. While that didn't work out how I wanted it to, it did lead me here. When I found this site I began absorbing everything. I relate strongly to the advice given here by everyone. I find it to be smart, accurate, written well, and in a way that I think. I view this place as a resource on life, not seduction. The material on seduction is obviously useful, and highly informative. Though, I find the general life advice to be very enlightened, and the reason I've come back to this site day after day. (i.e. overcoming fears, how to master anything, etc.).
Saying that, the point of my post is seduction. I'm now 31 years old, and reading the material on this site has been a lot of duh! moments for me. Duh, as in it makes so much sense that I can't believe I didn't see it before. A lot of what is taught here I do naturally, I've never had a problem with talking to people, meeting people, or anything like that. My problem has been a combination of a couple things.
First being that I was raised by my mother, who was a single parent. She did a terrific job, but she instilled in me a few things that have made getting laid more difficult that it should be. I never knew why it was so hard till I found this site. It's often been said on here not to get advice from women about women, because they don't know what they really want. They know some ideal that our society has made them think they want. Sadly when "nice guys", such as I was raised to be, give them exactly that, 9 out of 10 times it doesn't work. "Why buy the cow if you’re getting the milk for free" is a saying I've heard used to try and make women withhold sex from a man to get him in a relationship. Though, if you take that same saying and apply it to nice guys that give these girls relationship type attention without sex, it hold pretty true as well. This site has really helped me to push aside my white knight/ nice guy mentality, and I've noticed that my interactions with girls have been more flirtatious and to the point that I want them to be, but I'm not quite there yet. I have one other giant obstacle in my brain... Looks...
My mother was poor, so I grew up in cheap clothes. I never got braces, so my teeth are extremely crooked. I'm 6'5" and 160 lbs. (very skinny) Though, I believe I have an attractive face (until I smile/ laugh). Now how I said this might lead some to believe that I have a low self-esteem, and that is not the case at all. I quickly decided that looks didn't matter when I was young, and didn't let my clothes, or teeth, or any awkwardness get in my way. As a result, I was friends with the prettiest girls in school, all the guys liked me. I was an excellent conversationalist, deep-diving and being empathetic have always been second nature to me. So while I've always known that people like me, I've always been afraid in the back of my head that women aren't attracted to me. That, coupled with my mother's teachings of romance and kindness, kept my feet firmly in the center of the friendzone. Hell, I've probably got a statue in the friendzone commending all my years of inhabitance.
The overly long point I'm trying to get to is; while I am working on my fundamentals (I'm working out, gaining weight, standing up straight, walking slower, talking slower, etc.) my teeth are my largest concern, and the hardest to fix. My place of employ has recently got new insurance that is active at the beginning of the year, and it includes dental. I plan on taking full advantage, but that won't magically make them straight. I feel like I'm destined to be single until I get them fixed, because the quality of girl I'm looking for is turned off by my mouth. What should I do? Sleep with a lower quality of woman until I get my mouth fixed, or just try to move forward with woman anyway? Every lay or girlfriend I've had in my life has been a friendzone escape. I feel like I don't have a chance until a girl gets to know me. I know its flawed thinking, but it is how I've always operated. Again sorry for the long read, and I thank you all in advance for your future comments and advice.
