Intro and Help! Been Away 14 YEARS! Online Dating Etc

[Knightofnachos]

Ok men, and whatever ladies that could possibly lurking about, I'm a 33 year-old guy that has recently re-entered the game and is need of SERIOUS HELP. I'm talking DIRE STRAITS here lads, lol! I've been married and the last 10 years with the same lady for 14. We have 2 children together-2 girls ages 3 & 5. I've started dipping my toe into the online dating scene with things like PlentyofFish, and OkCupid Apps on the iphone and have gone on a few dates with 3 different ladies. The 1st one-Jenny was a pretty nice dime piece in the body department, 8th grade math teacher that seems like a headcase. Started with texts. She sent provocative pics of her nice bum, panty pics with string bikini panties pulled into an intentional camel-toe, see through panty pics, etc. You get the picture here..She "guaranteed"(ha ha ha) to like me via text after exchanging pics and texts for about a week before pulling the trigger on drinks. We met up and things kicked off in high gear..Until the Jack and Coke started flowing in high supply and then shit got weird with her. She ends up leaving in a huff claiming "I'm not ready to date". Later that night she texts me back asking if "I was okay?". I didn't reply for 2 days, even though she blew up my phone with texts, voicemail. Finally get back at her and she says she want to be friends. YAWN! So I cut her off and shut it down hard, bye-bye. 1.5 weeks later she texts out of the blue wanting dinner. I cave in and we go out. Eat, drink, and end up talking about personal shit. The whole while she keeps telling me that I need to get laid, and talks about masturbating herself, etc and that she has slept with girls in college and give me the juicy bits. Yet she seems cool to me still despite all of the "signs". Is this a classic "Hard to Get" routine? Am I too conservative? Should I be knocking the bottom out of this or am I way off base? I ask because on Friday I went out with a new potential mate. Jenny texts me out of the blue again. So I tell Jenny all about it to try and create a little scarcity and to feel out how deep I am in the friend zone, if at all. She seems a little pissed off, but insists we meet up for dinner anyways that night. I decline and tell her I'm busy, lol! So now I've got this new girl I'm playing games with and we sexted once already before we actually went on our first date, and she got really hot and bothered. It was good. So we went out, and then she went cold on me too..it's been one text yesterday. So with her I waited to text back until 10pm last night. As of now, no response..What gives? Anyone want help an old guy out and decipher some madness? I'm out of touch as you see. Thanks guys! Sorry this is so long as my 1st post and intro.

 

[Mr. oblivious]

If you dont mind me asking are you and your wife still together ?

 

[Knightofnachos]

If you dont mind me asking are you and your wife still together ?

No we're not. I could never do this to her even though she cheated on me 4 times. i just could'n't handle it again after this last time she admitted to cheating because she made it physical as the last 3 times were all emotional with an Ex. This time was with a co-worker. I tried to make it work. No dice. It burns me alive inside so I ended it. Who knows if I can ever feel the same about her again? Most painful decision of my adult life though.

 

[Mr. oblivious]

No we're not. I could never do this to her even though she cheated on me 4 times. i just could'n't handle it again after this last time she admitted to cheating because she made it physical as the last 3 times were all emotional with an Ex. This time was with a co-worker. I tried to make it work. No dice. It burns me alive inside so I ended it. Who knows if I can ever feel the same about her again? Most painful decision of my adult life though.

Sorry to hear that man (stay strong)

anyways onto the pick up side other than tinder have you tried going to bars and other locations to try pick up ?

 

[Knightofnachos]

Thanks, my brother. Yeah things are weird and maybe I'm putting out a "not over her" vibe but dammit I try like hell to not talk about her, "US", or the kids. Some women just want to press the hell out of you on it. Which I wouldn't care about IF they were truthful about it. This last girl I dated swore up and down that she would "embrace my situation" and said that she knows I'm messy yet likes it, and feels I offer value that would allow her to deal with my mess. Yeah, that was until she pressed me for every detail of my failed relationship, and decided that I wasn't over her and probably never would be. And that I still speak so "warmly" about her. When I made it a point not to talk about her AT ALL..Unless this broad wanted an out and just hung her escape on the aforementioned reasons.

On a side note, I haven't tried Tinder. How does that work? I know very little about it. I know..I'm old and out of touch. Also I don't have many friends from being totally involved in the marriage for so long i.e I never went out, EVER because it didn't feel right and as a consequence my circle of friends is like nil.

 

[Mr. oblivious]

i personally haven't tried tinder yet but i heard from friends and read a field report with tinder being mentioned seems like a good app to use especially if you don't have the time to be constantly going out and conversing face to face.

With not mentioning your wife business i reckon thats a good idea cause its likely once you talk about her it will just bring memories back of the hurt and may ruin the atmosphere and probably your chances.

if they ladies ask you about past relationships etc try deflect it or give a vague response and then change the focus back to them.


Although you may be able to use (your situation with your ex wife) it to your advantage in the right situation e.g. if you are talking to a women who was in a similar situations you could use it to make a connection but only do this if she mentions her situation first. (i forget the term for this )

 

[Knightofnachos]

I've grabbed the Tinder app a few times and I keep trying to remember why it is that I keep deleting it from my device. So I just got it again and remembered exactly why: the MANDATORY Facebook Sign-up, Sign-In, and Info sharing. That sucks. maybe just create a dummy profile to link to I suppose. i don't really do FB lately and my FB account would look like a shrine to my old life. No thanks.

There are a few girlies around my local area that are definitely cuties, and chase-able. For instance, the front desk girl Meghan at my gym. I see her when i work out at the club near my place of employment and we always chat. And then sometimes I see her at the sister club near my house that I workout at and she's there working out because she actually works out there and not at the club she works the desk at. So whenever I see her at my "home" club and I'm always sure to chat her up. I get a good vibe from her. She's really smiley and cheeks get read easily when I joke and fool around with her while we're next to each other on the stair machines. And then i see her glancing at me when she's on the treadmill and I'm using the Iso-Lateral row machine or whatever. When I lock eyes with her(catch her looking) she blushes and looks away quickly. And then there's "Giraffe Girl", a barista at my Starbucks. Hmm..Very cute too. Any advice on hooking up with your barista? Lol!

 

[Mr. oblivious]

Any advice on hooking up with your barista? Lol!

Invite her over to make you coffe

Not sure man but you seem like your getting back into the game just fine

 

[Knightofnachos]

Any advice on hooking up with your barista? Lol!

Invite her over to make you coffe

Not sure man but you seem like your getting back into the game just fine

Lol, thanks man. I can always get them to loosen way up during texting and get them so far as to say the ever crazy "I know we haven't even met yet but I feel like I'm falling in love with you" and those types things. It's just when we meet i must give off an aura of weakness. It's been so long that I've had to act the Alpha. A lot of these girls claim to want to take things really slowly, as do I, but i tell them that there's no reason and no way that they're in love with anyone so soon.
Brings this little nugget of truth to the forefront of my mind:
You know what they say..love is like a fart. If you have to force it, it's probably shit

 

[Mr. oblivious]

You know what they say..love is like a fart. If you have to force it, it's probably shit

hahaha

im like the opposite of you im good in person then i lose it at texting :O

 

[Knightofnachos]

im like the opposite of you im good in person then i lose it at texting :O

Damn, man maybe we need to get together and compare notes eh? LOL

 

[Mr. oblivious]

i actually started using snap chat as a way of communicating as well.

I never knew that to pat your dog you had to take your shirt off as well

 

[Marty]

KnightOfNachos:

A lot of these girls claim to want to take things really slowly, as do I

Bad idea. Read this and search for the words "wait for sex". Then draw your own conclusions.

-Marty