Intro

[Regal Tiger]

Hello everyone.

I've been reading for a long time and have since started to get about intermediate level but finally decided to join the forums.

To be honest, I'm not sure why. I just kind of did it out of impulse. I'm an absolute wreck right now.

I know nobody really cares to hear it but this is my crappy intro.

Hello.

 

[Richard]

I know nobody really cares

So what's going on in your life that's making you feel like this?

 

[Regal Tiger]

Fresh wounds that haven't had time to heal.

First actual relationship I've ever been in just ended earlier today. I really liked the girl and she was exactly the kind of person that I was looking for, for a serious relationship. But apparently I didn't get to know her well enough before allowing myself to develop feelings -.-

She's scared of being in a relationship which is probably code for 'I don't like you enough'.

I just feel like a dumbass.... and kind of an asshole for making my intro so crappy....

Le sigh.... =.=

Thanks for asking though.

 

[PrettyDecent]

Ey, many of us made our debut on these boards for similar reasons. Don't put yourself down, bud. =)

For now, best to remember that if you had your type of girl in a relationship already, you can absolutely do it again.

And a little later down the line, when you're not so emotional and your logic isn't clouded, try and figure out why things happened the way they did. Troubleshooting leads you to understanding, and that's how you'll flesh out a solution.

Looking forward to seeing you with your head back up again, Regal Tiger!

~Nick

 

[Regal Tiger]

Appreciate that, I really do.

But I already know what went wrong. Selection and availability.

I was too available.

Selection because she's moving in May and moving to the same coast I was thinking about moving too. So my original thought was fuck ya! But she never really gave it any effort and I should have cut off from her way back when. I noticed all of the signs but I thought I could work around them. A rather hard lesson that I couldn't.

 

[Regal Tiger]

Is it stupid of me to think that this could have been the right girl but the wrong time?

To be honest, I thought that about a month after I met her and we started to move into relationship land....

I mean, I know I can't pine after this girl because that would be horrendously stupid. But I really can't shake this feeling that it could have been the right girl but the wrong time.

Our mindsets about what we wanted out of a long term partner were so spot on and about the kind of life each of us wanted were scarily similar. She's the one that actually brought this up but we just clicked so fast and easily, the first day we met it seemed like.

But she got scared and didn't like me enough to try to date me while going through school. I guess I just wasn't worth it...

I know exactly where and why and how I messed up at each point.

Obviously I need to move on, and I understand that logically, but emotionally I'm completely retarded.

Too available, I liked her and put in more effort than her and I should have backed off and let her chase me a little bit. When she started to back off I should have just cut the chord or at the very least backed off as well.... but I thought I could just get her to reinvest in me and I even thought it was starting to work, right before she ended it.

I've got other dates set-up for the weekend and am looking forward to one of them but dammit I just can't shake this other girl. She made me feel like Superman, to be honest... I know it's stupid to say but it was true. I felt like I could do anything when she was actually in it.

A few months ago, she even told me she felt like I was the right guy and that I was so perfect for her, but the timing was off. That was the first alarm bell and I did take notice, but I thought I could work around it...

Am I being stupid, or emotional or is this going to fade or what?

To be honest, I've never dealt with loss very well, despite having a lot of people close to me as a kid die....

I've read all kinds of articles about how to get over a girl and have started to follow them. I deleted all of the pictures that reminded me of her, setting up dates and everything.... but fuck....

A hard lesson to never be the one down in the relationship ever again....

I feel like I failed to create what I really wanted.