Introducing Yourself

[Reave Krieger]

Hi everyone,

During day game cold approaching I already got me making new women genuine compliments.

I see a woman, pre-open her and tell her the compliment. After that I don't introduce myself because it would feel awkward for me and I don't know (in the situation) how to move the conversation forward. Of course: I have to banter a bit and then build rapport / deep dive etc.

BUT: When I managed to overcome approach anxiety, another form of anxiety comes up. The anxiety of not knowing how to successfully continue the conversation.

How it usually runs down: When delivering a compliment, the woman says "Oh, thank you!" and I keep walking - hitting myself that I didn't introduce myself and kept talking to her. It feels like I then have no chance of leaving the conversation when I proceed...

My General questions:

• - How do I overcome this kind of anxiety?

• - How do I exit the conversation smoothly if she doesn't respond well?

 

[WayOfHand]

Hey Jumok. While delivering the compliment just follow up with your name without even waiting for her answer. You are then a real person in their lives with a name and not just some rando on the streets. Try make it a habit. Example:

Me: Hey, I saw you walking here and wanted to tell you that you have the coolest style I've seen whole day - I'm XYZ (extending hand expectingly)
Girl: Thanks, I'm ZYX

I think the part where you feel you don't know what to say next comes partly down to you overthinking if it is the right thing to say and if she will not like it. I feel this is somewhat of a sticking point. At least was and mayby still is for me. For me the solution has been a mindshift into reallising it isn't that much about the words you say but about how you deliver and your fundamentals. You just have to force yourself at first to STICK. Dont bail if it feels awkward. Just stick with it until you no longer feel awkward. Say whatever pops into your head, dont analyze. You can always calibrate later. Takes practice to get better. No shortcuts.

If you really need to go or feel theres nothing to gain here, just say it was nice meeting you, but you really need to go now. You have business to attend to or whatever, have a nice day.

 

[Reave Krieger]

WayOfHand,

Thanks a lot for your advice

 

[Rusty]

Props to you making the effort and putting yourself out there.

Like WayofHand said, keep it simple.

If you can deliver a real compliment and do it in a way that is very sincere and direct, that's a powerful thing. Most women will respect you for your honesty.

I've never had a negative response to an approach when I was being sincere. It doesn't always click, of course, but 99.9% of women will say thank you and be willing to listen to what you have to say. After all, there aren't many men who have the guile to approach without any false pretenses or a presumptuous vibe.

Usually what happens is this: either she's not interested and will give you a clear, but polite no or try to let you down nicely by saying she has a boyfriend right off the bat. Or she'll blush or smile and she'll be all ears for your next move.

Since you're opening by being honest and direct, keep your agenda open. There's no ulterior motive, no deception here. Ask what she's doing or where she's heading. If she's free, you can invite her to grab a coffee or a nice cold or hot beverage and walk and talk together. If she's not, suggest a meetup. After you build a little bit of rapport with some basic questions and banter, just say something like this:

"You know, I like talking to you. I'm gonna go to XYZ (Insert whatever activity/thing) later, let's grab a drink/coffee/food/etc."

If she says yes, then you go for the number. The contact exchange should not be the goal, but rather the goal is to continue the conversation at another time if she's busy at the moment. Then the contact exchange becomes a natural extension of you two continuing to get to know each other.

 

[Reave Krieger]

Thanks for Encouragement

Rusty,

Thanks a lot for the encouragement.

It is indeed good to know that women like genuineness. My biggest issue at the moment is the "famous" approach anxiety. Once I have banished that one for good, I will have fun trying all this out I guess.