Is it a different game when she's a virgin?

[randy__bobandy]

Hello gents,

I invited a girl from my research group over to my place, just a casual visit though, although I do want to sleep with her. So I chatted her up, kept the conversation about her, and she was really easy to talk to, which is nice. During the conversation, her phone went off several times when she received texts. Up till that point, she hadn't looked at her phone at all, which was nice since I hate people who constantly try to multitask with you and their precious phones. Anway, she said sorry, her friend is being ridiculous. I asked what he's saying. She starts off, "I've known him since high school, and, well, I'm a virgin, and he keeps wanting to get with me, and says every guy I meet sounds like a loser [blah blah blah yadda yadda yadda]"

So two things really,

1) This was definitely a missed escalation opportunity, since I wasn't sure what to say. What would you have said in my position?

2) Does my method have to be switched up to sleep with her if she's a virgin?

-Randy Bobandy

 

[Whizzy]

Your method can remain more or less the same, regardless of whether or not she is a virgin.

Apart from that I would say a nice manhandle kiss (ballsy and may not work) could have done the trick

 

[randy__bobandy]

Nice, I can stick with what I know. So what would you say about the escalation window?

 

[Mr. oblivious]

Your method can remain more or less the same, regardless of whether or not she is a virgin.

This is true
The only difference with virgins you just have to be prepared to overcome a lot of LMR and afterwards maybe a lot of clingeyness and attachment

 

[Richard]

With virgins - their levels of sexuality may vary greatly due to circumstance.

My buddy Josh just slept with a 20 year old virgin who's leaving for the Navy (Coast Guard maybe?) - I can't remember which. Anyway, she wanted to lose her virginity before she left so she was highly sexual, and this is the case for women around this age who have friends who always talk about sex and want to experiment.

Other times, you'll get virgins who are highly religious who are the more stereotypical type - which is what Oblivious was mentioning.

AND! In my experience some girls are virgins because they're saving it for someone they love but in the mean time still want to experiment - and a FWB I had gave me some of the best head I've ever gotten (she's still a virgin): my morals got the best of me and I couldn't shatter her ideological fantasy and take her virginity.

-Richard

 

[Drck]

I'm kind of suspicious that she might not be a virgin. She might be, but what she said is quite open and sincere for virgin. It more sounds like you were too passive while she was expecting more - you invited her to your place (Great job!), she went, and now she expected actions but you didn't do anything. So she is getting pissed because for her to decide to go to your place took lots of guts...

Most likely she was pretty much decided to have sex, she was excited about it (that is why it was so easy to talk to, she was giving you free ticket), but you were pulling away by talking and talking. She's getting disappointed, getting upset because you don't do anything, so she started talking about losers, and also mentioned this other guy who wants her (sleep with her) - perhaps so you finally find your balls and do something about it...

Don't worry about it, it happens to many guys, even guys with lots of experience have to "push" themselves many times. The difference is, that YOU KNOW that you had to push for sex while most of the other guys have no clue...

Either way, you should go out and celebrate that great action inviting her to your place!

 

[randy__bobandy]

Yeah, I know I missed a good opportunity. But what would you have said in my position after the virgin comment?

 

[Drck]

I see it little bit differently. First, you should go to celebrate because this is already a huge victory, you have accomplished those most difficult 95% to get her to your place. Many guys can’t do it, they are too busy with approaching, getting numbers, going for dates and deep diving… yet still can’t get her to his place, they are having problems even after years. They are so busy with seduction that they don’t even try to invite her. You invited her and there she goes, she is in your place. You already won, now it is only up to you if you chose to take the price…

How simple is that? You like her, she likes you, you invite her – and she goes. It is NATURAL, big celebration is needed, all seduction is done.

Now, she is not stupid. If she goes with you to your place alone, she knows that there is the possibility of having sex. She wouldn’t go with you if she didn’t like you, or if she were hesitant about you. She might be very nervous and excited, thus you need to control your emotions, you need to stay calm.

So basically, if she goes with you she already likes you a lot, she trusts you. If she makes the talking easy on you, she is giving you another hint, she is saying that “it is easy”, she is encouraging you to move forward.

So what is there to talk about, what is there to say? Actions are needed, not talking. Forget words. Touch her, give her a hug, gently and slowly. Most likely she will touch back, but expect resistance.

Focus on overall atmosphere (mood, positive emotions, vibes,…) rather than on words. You are a man and she expects you to lead. In other words, 9 out of 10 girls won’t lead no matter what, you have to do it.

As far as words, if you have to say something, it all really depends on the overall atmosphere and your confidence level. You probably didn’t have much confidence to move forward, you are shy. It’s ok, just be truthful about it, she will appreciate it and can actually help you. For example you can say something like: my friend has lots of experience with sex, he always knows what to do; I’m not that experienced, I only wish I could be that comfortable… You actually might be quite surprised by the outcome of being honest. She might jump on you and help you otherwise, because you are not pretending to be this great and confident alpha male with hundreds of experiences –yet who doesn’t do anything that leads to sex… On the other hand, if you have decent experience and good confidence, you should lead, you should pretend to be even more confident and experienced. So it all really depends…