Is it best to ignore outsiders?

[Kuro]

By outsiders I mean everyone apart from myself and the girl I'm interested in.

Now I'm definitely not a master at flirting, but often times I'll flirt with a girl in public and, even though she'll say "no" and stuff like that, she'll be laughing and smiling. I figure that if a girl really doesn't like my flirting, she wouldn't be smiling and she probably wouldn't be hanging around me either.

However, I'm noticing other people take this completely differently. It's actually pretty common that an outsider will try to tell me the girl doesn't like my advances. Some outsiders - usually women - even seem almost angry about my flirting.

Since it is both men and women telling me this, I don't know what to make of it. Either they are picking up on something I'm not or I'm better at reading body language than them.

 

[PinotNoir]

These people sound like White Knights (or even cockblockers) to me, so I'd ignore it.

How do you approach and flirt with these women? Do you have an example? Maybe you are being overtly direct or not socially savvy in some way.

If a girl is laughing/smiling, it can be nervousness; it's hard to know without me actually being there. In most cases, if a girl says "no" to me that directly, I usually just leave, but if she just says "not sure" or "maybe" or something like that, I continue talking with her and trying to build attraction.

I've never had an outsider say anything to me (but have had friends say that going out to approach women is wrong -- white knights). I've had people look before, of course. I approached and started flirting with this girl at the mall, and this couple was staring at me with some indifferent looks (not sure if upset with me or not). I've had bad looks and harsh rejections, but no one has ever talked to me directly about it. Either way, it doesn't matter to me. I'm a straight guy talking with a woman that I find attractive. There's nothing wrong with that in any sense. Isn't that how the human species survives?

As for the women outsiders that are angry, they're probably just angry that you chose that woman over her and are jealous

 

[Nova]

as a general rule only take advice from men you know are successful with women, not from your average joe or other woman

 

[Franco]

Kuro,

Since it is both men and women telling me this, I don't know what to make of it. Either they are picking up on something I'm not or I'm better at reading body language than them.

I would completely ignore outsiders' opinions of what you do. If a girl is sticking around and smiling (even if she's refusing to go home with you), then you're still in play with her. A girl can always turn around and walk away if she REALLY feels like you're creeping her out or annoying her (or if she's just not in the mood to talk to men). Now, if she tries to walk away and you attempt to physically restrain her... then you might be in some trouble!

One thing you might want to do is practice throwing in more (sly) smiles on your end if you don't smile very much during your conversations. In louder venues, regular Joes and other women will try to read the body language between you two to determine how the interaction is going. As far as women go, they can be even worse because they might simply just be jealous that you're giving her so much attention and they aren't getting any. So you'll definitely want to ignore girl's attempts to fluster you.

Anyway, I would proceed as normal. If girls are smiling and sticking around (and especially if they're giving you compliance and moving with you), then there's no reason to hit the 'eject' button just because someone else thinks you should.

- Franco