I always have strong arguments with girls I date. For some reason when I say something I don't like or don't agree with, they say it nit pick and they go batshit crazy. I'm not one to bite my tongue, but after seeing how this happens often, I think I might be doing something wrong?
Discussions with girls you've just approached are rarely beneficial for anyone, since it's kind of a 2nd lvl of rapport, which you can only start when you know a lot else about the person. Both parties may end up with a negative view of each from just one single and simple discussion.
It may be a result of you leading your conversations into something that can only end up in a discussion. Think a second time next time you prepare a question in your conversations "will this end up in a discussion?" and remember to have a chill vibe.
But if it happens make sure you recognize her viewpoints and try to relate, even if your viewpoints are the total opposite. Remember recognizing is not the same as accepting. However you can still accept a person even though you don't accept all their viewpoints.
Some people also just like to discuss and some women may have a terrible day with their claws out.
It may be a result of you leading your conversations into something that can only end up in a discussion. Think a second time next time you prepare a question in your conversations "will this end up in a discussion?" and remember to have a chill vibe.
But if it happens make sure you recognize her viewpoints and try to relate, even if your viewpoints are the total opposite. Remember recognizing is not the same as accepting. However you can still accept a person even though you don't accept all their viewpoints.
Some people also just like to discuss and some women may have a terrible day with their claws out.
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Sub-Zero,
Checkout your vibe. Checkout for red flags.
the 'me-culture' can make women batshit crazy.
Zac
Sub-Zero said:
Checkout your vibe. Checkout for red flags.
the 'me-culture' can make women batshit crazy. Zac
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Sub-Zero,
You should never really be attempting to have discussions with women on dates that turn into strong conflicting standpoints about things. This especially goes true for things such as religion, politics, relationships, etc. At the most, you'll want to agree with one aspect of what the girl said and change the subject. But the second you start to "not hold your tongue" and make points that conflict with her views is the second that her attraction begins to drop for you.
Once you've slept with a girl a couple of times, she'll likely view you as a very strong and influential man in her life, and she'll be much more willing to listen to the strong viewpoints you have and take them under heavy consideration. But until then, you're just a guy that she feels like she has little in common with and doesn't turn her on sexually (or turns her off by sharing his viewpoints that come across to her as "negative" aspects).
- Franco
You should never really be attempting to have discussions with women on dates that turn into strong conflicting standpoints about things. This especially goes true for things such as religion, politics, relationships, etc. At the most, you'll want to agree with one aspect of what the girl said and change the subject. But the second you start to "not hold your tongue" and make points that conflict with her views is the second that her attraction begins to drop for you.
Once you've slept with a girl a couple of times, she'll likely view you as a very strong and influential man in her life, and she'll be much more willing to listen to the strong viewpoints you have and take them under heavy consideration. But until then, you're just a guy that she feels like she has little in common with and doesn't turn her on sexually (or turns her off by sharing his viewpoints that come across to her as "negative" aspects).
- Franco
Sorry guys, when I meant date, I meant dating, like girlfriend. When a girl I'm seeing says or does something I don't like, I tell them what they did is something I don't like or I check them, and they get super mad at me and feel they can't make mistakes.
This happens with a lot of girls I have a relationship with.
This happens with a lot of girls I have a relationship with.
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Sub-Zero,
Either red flag or you tell them off when they only answered their phone once/talk only for 1 or 2 mins to a friend on the phone.
Zac
Sub-Zero said:
Either red flag or you tell them off when they only answered their phone once/talk only for 1 or 2 mins to a friend on the phone.
Zac
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Sub-Zero,
I actually have an unorthodox response for this.
If you are very good at debating, can remain calm, and know how to read emotions, you can actually discuss deep topics like politics and religion, and even mildly debate with them, and it can spike your attraction.
I've talked about religion, politics, biological determinism, feminism, and a whole range of subjects with women and still hooked up with them. Just remember to
1. Have a SLIGHTLY condescending attitude of "aww she's so cute, she's trying to argue with me."
2. But still listen to her receptively and watch her emotions; if she gets heated, smile cheekily and calm her down with a "haha, relax, we're just having fun" type of comment and maybe hug her or nudge her jokingly. If she's having fun with it, take that emotion and do something fun like kiss her or take her somewhere private.
For years, my entire way of flirting was based on arguing and dominating women in conversation...and then dominating them in bed
It's tricky and leads to auto-rejection more than you'd like, but it's a great screening tool and conversion tool. The women you'll autoreject were probably just "meh" about you anyways and the women who love you will get even HORNIER for you. Occasionally, though, you'll convert some girl who wasn't about you AT ALL and attract her with your intelligence/dominance combination. One might argue that my University-atmosphere allowed such an approach, since these women were more intellectually open, but I've done this with women from all backgrounds.
As for girls who you've already slept with and are seeing regularly, I think it can really spice up the relationship. Of course when you're doing any spiking with emotions, it can go sour, so just be careful and make sure you don't ever genuinely hurt their feelings.
I'm not sure if debate-drama counts as legitimate drama. It might be an exception where you can argue and have hot sex afterwards and it may condition her to do it some more, but it's not like you guys are fighting about the relationship, but about topics that extend farther than yourselves, even if one of you holds to them dearly. But I'm not as sure about this aspect as I am about the rest of my post.
- Hector
I actually have an unorthodox response for this.
If you are very good at debating, can remain calm, and know how to read emotions, you can actually discuss deep topics like politics and religion, and even mildly debate with them, and it can spike your attraction.
I've talked about religion, politics, biological determinism, feminism, and a whole range of subjects with women and still hooked up with them. Just remember to
1. Have a SLIGHTLY condescending attitude of "aww she's so cute, she's trying to argue with me."
2. But still listen to her receptively and watch her emotions; if she gets heated, smile cheekily and calm her down with a "haha, relax, we're just having fun" type of comment and maybe hug her or nudge her jokingly. If she's having fun with it, take that emotion and do something fun like kiss her or take her somewhere private.
For years, my entire way of flirting was based on arguing and dominating women in conversation...and then dominating them in bed
It's tricky and leads to auto-rejection more than you'd like, but it's a great screening tool and conversion tool. The women you'll autoreject were probably just "meh" about you anyways and the women who love you will get even HORNIER for you. Occasionally, though, you'll convert some girl who wasn't about you AT ALL and attract her with your intelligence/dominance combination. One might argue that my University-atmosphere allowed such an approach, since these women were more intellectually open, but I've done this with women from all backgrounds.
As for girls who you've already slept with and are seeing regularly, I think it can really spice up the relationship. Of course when you're doing any spiking with emotions, it can go sour, so just be careful and make sure you don't ever genuinely hurt their feelings.
I'm not sure if debate-drama counts as legitimate drama. It might be an exception where you can argue and have hot sex afterwards and it may condition her to do it some more, but it's not like you guys are fighting about the relationship, but about topics that extend farther than yourselves, even if one of you holds to them dearly. But I'm not as sure about this aspect as I am about the rest of my post.
- Hector
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The manner in which you display your disapproval is of utmost importance. Make sure you are maintaining your composure.
One of the things I have tried to take to heart recently is the concept that, "you can't change people, they are the only ones that can change themselves." What I mean is you can express your disapproval and hope she changes her behavior but you cannot force her to change. Depending on how you presented the issue she will choose whether she wants to stop the behavior or not.
If you have established a strong dominant frame with your girl all you have to do is nonchalantly suggest you are unhappy with something she did and she is going to want to change her behavior to seek your approval. Then when she complies give her affection. If she doesn't then she has failed the test and may not be that into you.
When you raise your voice at someone their automatically going to defend themselves by raising their voice back at you. The fact that these girls tend to get angry back at you suggests that you are raising your voice and losing your cool.
-Lotus
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All,
Second this but do check your tone and also see for red flags.
Zac
Anatman said:
Second this but do check your tone and also see for red flags.
Zac
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- 1,982
Another thing to keep in mind is you might be seeking her validation and approval for your opinions. I know I did this a lot while married. Seems a lifetime ago now. Basically I now hold my tongue, as I don't really care what my girl thinks of my views or vice versa, she's quite free to hold her own views on stuff. An example would be religion, it really is a matter of indifference to me, although since we're having a baby I've had to think carefully. But my overall view still remains the same, she is free to educate our baby in her cultural traditions and I will not interfere. I will endeavour to teach my baby to think for itself, however. I also hold quite strong views on things like, for example, the decline of manufacturing and minimum wage and social justice etc... but I wouldn't discuss with her. Doing this while married was enough of a lesson for me, I just want to keep things fun and sexy with my girl. I can always discuss those things with my buddies, but in fact I usually wouldn't. For some reason, the closer the relationship, the more likely I was to want the other person's approval and validation. A bad thing.
Ray
Ray