Are my chances of getting her out on a coffee date or something simple already in peril by not asking her out before getting those digits?
Of course not.
Being said that, if she goes out with you, she might do it just for the sake of doing it, not necessarily because he sees you as a potential lover/boyfriend. When asking for a number is more important the impression you leave on her what will make her want to see you again (and lets say that the way she sees you should always be as a very interesting sexy guy).
Look, if you fuck it up, whatever. Really, you shouldn't care. I don't know why people have a such hard time having and abundance mentality: There are way to many good-looking girls out there to care if you fail with one.
Let me tell you some of my experience in just a short time. I hope I inspire you.
I'm not expert at this yet. I am a guy who is good looking so I have some edge (although, like everyone, I have things I don't like about myself, like being to thin for my height. Despite those things just love who you are).
I was thinking about this stuff (being good with girls) way before Girlschase (I discovered some things I found here by my own, but I only practice fundamentals and almost never approached) and, when I found this community at the end of January, I thought it was great because it relied in a natural way.
At first I read a lot of the theory, I almost didn't do any approaches (I've always been a theory-guy). Luckily, the concept of abundance mentality came really easy for me: I just know there are too many girls and it doesn't matter. I will fucked up and I will get better.
I've been approaching for about 1 month (some girls on the street and parties, but consistently, just a week ago -yesterday was my first party I approached more consistently). In that month I have almost beaten my AA (approach anxiety). When I'm in the street I'm always alert, really, looking to the horizon to find a girl I want to approach. I don't always do it but I do it more and more. Yesterday I went to a party and I got 3 numbers. One girl lives near and I think i could have pushed for sex but I was with the mind set of getting numbers so I thought I would continue doing that and find her later to leave with her. She saw me talking to other girls and I think she has blocked me on whatsapp (can't see the message when she was last seen and my last message never arrived) and I don't care. I wish she hadn't, but, fuck it (I will call her anyway, jaja, to see what happens. Like I don't know about whatsapp).
There was other girl that I was sure I was gonna be able to talk to and she just blew me. Really, she turned her head and ignore me completely. I just stand there. I told her friend "How rude of her, is she always like this?". The friend was laughing. She gave me a gesture like "no no" and I told her "So, you name is [I did the hand gesture]". Ignoring me. I started telling her "You are making me ache, it hurts... is like a you have shot an arrow through my heart" (really mocking the situation). Ignored me. I continue with a little more bantering. Ignored me. I kneeled and say "Why you do this? You are hurting me…" (I was just messing around, really, I was having a great time). All the people around saw me. Some guys laughed and I told them "She is rude, she is hurting me". Nothing. She just went a little afar from me. I kept dancing and eventually the group were at my side. Maybe it was a sign to talk to them, don't know for sure. I didn't do it. What did I take from here? Well, maybe I should approach before to avoid her being so dismissive. Persistance is great always. You have to have good personality to do things without caring what people think (not many guys would kneel for joking). I know she ignored me but she was kind of happy. Good for her if she felt great.
The last girls I talk to at the end of the party (when they were kicking people out) was really hot and I didn't approach because I waited for the right moment (I know, "the right moment", stupid of me, jeje. She was dancing, I don't like so much approaching in this situations, she was with many friends, etc). I was pretty sure she had noticed me before, for sure, while I was dancing solo (I'm a good dancer too). When I was leaving I pre-opened her and she was not very receptive. I didn't care. I just banter a little and pretty soon I was completely honest with her. "I wanted to talked to you but you were with these guys and I didn't know if one was your boyfriend"...
Their friend wanted to smoke so it gave long time to interact with her. Man, you can't imagine everything she told me (it would have crashed a lot of guys if you are not confident about yourself) She was like: "Just leave", "I don't find you attractive", "I don't like your face". I was the most unfazed guy in the earth. I just said to her: "I don't believe you". Really fucking cocky. I continue telling her "You don't even know me". She still said: "Just leave", "Take the stairs". Her friends were like "Just leave her… she doesn't like you". I knew I could persist because she was not saying a no with the attitude-tone when you really know it's no. I was like: "It's the way it has played out, if I had gone when I saw you it would have been different than waiting till the end of the party and talking to you, it's my fault for not doing it. I'm pretty forward when I like someone but I thought one of the guys was his boyfriend" (lie, i knew she was alone).
She then told me something that I really believed, "The thing is, there is no feeling, I don't find some chemistry, I can't find there is a spark". I believed this because it's true... I have yet to improve that about myself A LOT. The interaction, especially with girls that are harder (because they just have more guys after them, whether they are hot or, at least, think of themselves highly). Eventually I told her "I want to grab a coffee with you in other scenario and it will be differently". She started to turned around… Because she said my face was not nice she said how was my body. She raised my shirt and like it. Started touching and she loved it (I'm pretty skinny but really fit, six packs, you know). She was about to leave and I just put my face close to her and told her "I should have approached way before and told you I loved your eyes. I want to see you again, have a coffee and know each other". She told me I had earned it. Didn't give me her number because she said she never does it. She gave me her facebook.
As a matter of fact, when I looked for her on facebook I noticed she was a model and some kind of tv girl (she has also appeared on a tv show here) so I get why she doesn't give her number. You know, girls like that are on the clouds. I don't think I will see her again. She might have like my attitude but I don't think she will accept my request (how many she might get, really). If she does accept it, I really doubt she will respond my message with all the guys she might have after her, especially when I got her info not in the best way. But it was a great lesson for me. I was being unfazed to really harsh comments (I really didn't care for them, I didn't believe almost none) "Your face is the problem", "I don't find you attractive", "Maybe is your clothing" (I believed her on this. My jacket was an armless nike hood. Awful. I'm kinda broke but I have a really good fashion sense. I've been even approach once when I was really well dressed -my brothers clothing- by an actress of my country who is really good looking)
What I'm trying to tell you is that you should aim for this. Embrace an abundance mentality, embrace that you
will fail. It's just the way it is. You'll have fun, a lot!
Cheers!
