Is It Scummy to Go For High School/Immature College Girls Past Mid 20s?

[Ambiance]

Hello gents -

Hope you all are well. I'll get right to it: on two recent separate occasions I was chatting up a hot girl that was very interested, everything was going great, but then I found out one was still in her senior year of high school and the other a freshman in college. In the past, this wouldn't have been a problem, but now that I am in my mid-twenties I felt awkward about taking the interaction any further.

These two events made me realize I don't actually know what my age cutoff should be. There is of course the age of consent, which in my state in most cases is 17 (though 15 and 16 year olds can legally get with up to 25 and 26 year olds ). So I could have legally slept with both of these girls no problem. But do I really want to be that guy getting with a high schooler? And if it is ok now, will it not be when I turn 30 or 40 or beyond?

I feel like the girl's maturity should also be a factor. For instance, the freshman I talked to was just nowhere near my level of maturity, but the high school senior seemed very mature for her age (she was from Sweden which partially explains why).

Should I have gone for either of these girls? Are college girls okay but high school should be off limits? What about if the girl is really mature? And finally, how does a man's own age factor in?

 

[Chase]

@Ambiance,

I think you are talking about appearances, right?

This is pretty individual to the man.

For instance, a really stiff 28-year-old accounting guy with no sense of humor dating a bubbly 21-year-old is going to be pretty weird to most people because the match looks incongruous. We expect the stiff guy to struggle with women and to not be able to relate to people who aren't very much like himself, and can't really explain why he'd be with that girl.

On the other hand, a really cool 54-year-old who dresses well and is sociable and attractive who is dating a well-socialized 19-year-old girl who does her best to seem mature is not usually going to raise many eyebrows at all. We expect the cool, sociable guy to get along with everyone; if he's attractive we expect him to attract younger women too; and hey, powerful guys go for younger women, so it's a pretty natural thing, right?

Chase

 

[Conquistador]

But do I really want to be that guy getting with a high schooler? And if it is ok now, will it not be when I turn 30 or 40 or beyond?

Some of this is about personal choices, but I’d say it’s very context-dependent.

I feel like the girl's maturity should also be a factor.

Absolutely . Some girls by age 18 have slept with multiple older men. Others are just pretty mature.
Consider what girls that age are up to, and as someone was saying in chat earlier, many girls have unpleasant earlier sexual experiences. So if you can leave her better than you found her, then you’ll be doing her a favor.

For instance, the freshman I talked to was just nowhere near my level of maturity

Then next her if you want. But if it’s just about the sex, the issue is if she can handle it emotionally.

but the high school senior seemed very mature for her age (she was from Sweden which partially explains why).

Generally, if they’re legal in your area, Nordic girls can handle things like this.

Should I have gone for either of these girls?

You absolutely should have gone for the mature Swedish girl IMO.

Are college girls okay but high school should be off limits?

Seems arbitrary as hell. Many girls have plenty of experience acting like adults, publicly (seeing the world, extracurriculars etc) or privately (depends on the girl but bro…have you any idea what goes on?)

What about if the girl is really mature?

I think maturity and previous sexual experience both matter, but if she can handle it, and is a young adult psychologically, why the hell not? Better you than a drunk dude her own age. Right?

And finally, how does a man's own age factor in?

That’s up to you. Definitely if you’re under 35 or 40, don’t worry about it too much. Just make sure you leave her better than you found her.

 

[Conquistador]

Edit is buggy so…

Generally, if they’re legal in your area, Nordic girls can handle things like this.

You absolutely should have gone for the mature Swedish girl IMO.

Some of the other stuff in my post might be a tiny bit KJ, but this part is completely based on my own field experience.

 

[Ambiance]

@Ambiance,

I think you are talking about appearances, right?

This is pretty individual to the man.

For instance, a really stiff 28-year-old accounting guy with no sense of humor dating a bubbly 21-year-old is going to be pretty weird to most people because the match looks incongruous. We expect the stiff guy to struggle with women and to not be able to relate to people who aren't very much like himself, and can't really explain why he'd be with that girl.

On the other hand, a really cool 54-year-old who dresses well and is sociable and attractive who is dating a well-socialized 19-year-old girl who does her best to seem mature is not usually going to raise many eyebrows at all. We expect the cool, sociable guy to get along with everyone; if he's attractive we expect him to attract younger women too; and hey, powerful guys go for younger women, so it's a pretty natural thing, right?

Chase

I'm not so concerned with appearances... I am quite looking forward to having women in their late teens and early twenties falling in my bed the rest of my life no matter how old I get.

What I am really asking is: when would you consider a girl to be too young to seduce? Should it be whatever the age of consent is (which in my state allows me to go as low as 15 and a half, pretty much a high school sophomore), or should I include other factors like a girl's maturity, whether she is still in high school, etc? And would your answer change at all depending on how old you knew I was (assuming I remain ever sociable, attractive, well-dressed, accomplished, etc)?

 

[Ambiance]

many girls have unpleasant earlier sexual experiences. So if you can leave her better than you found her, then you’ll be doing her a favor.

I totally agree, and have used this rationale with younger women and virgins before, but where do you draw the line? Age of consent, simple as that?

You absolutely should have gone for the mature Swedish girl IMO.

I actually was really liking her. She knew all of these Swedish bands I love, and was an avid skier. Very cute face and hair, and really nice figure too. Was so surprised she was still in high school. Had she been in college, I would have been all over her.

It just felt weird to me. Here I am, a man well out of college with his own apartment and sports car and tons of experience, going after a girl who is still in high school and may not even be 18 yet (I only found out she was a senior, didn't ask her age). Had I still been in college or even freshly out of college, I would have quite enjoyed being the "big bad older guy robbing the cradle" with her, something I have done on multiple occasions.

 

[Conquistador]

I'm not so concerned with appearances... I am quite looking forward to having women in their late teens and early twenties falling in my bed the rest of my life no matter how old I get.

What I am really asking is: when would you consider a girl to be too young to seduce? Should it be whatever the age of consent is, or should I include other factors like a girl's maturity, whether she is still in high school, etc? And would your answer change at all depending on how old you knew I was (assuming I remain ever sociable, attractive, well-dressed, accomplished, etc)?

Age of consent, maturity, normal screens, nothing else unless you want to make it complex. Hs vs college doesn’t matter.

 

[Ambiance]

Age of consent, maturity, normal screens, nothing else unless you want to make it complex. Hs vs college doesn’t matter.

Making things complex is something I am often guilty of doing

This seems reasonable. I definitely agree there isn't much of a difference between a HS senior and college freshman. I just want to avoid my lust overwriting my rationale when assessing maturity in the moment.

Damn, I could have at least screened the two girls more. Nothing really was stopping me...

 

[Will_V]

The idea of what age difference is 'appropriate' for sex is entirely a cultural phenomenon once a girl is physically ready to reproduce. Older cultures never made the kind of politically correct distinctions that are made now, but made them instead more along the lines of natural biology, which at the time paralleled the practical reality of the people. For most of history if you were in your thirties and your bride wasn't around 15 something was abnormal. Still in south america for example you have a special occasion for a girl's 15th birthday (the 'quinceanera') which is basically to tell everyone she's ready.

These days many biological factors are practically irrelevant to society, so it is easy to bury them under whatever pc nonsense the society needs to peddle to keep whatever status quo it wants to keep. Things like the fact that the path of female maturity is much shorter, for example.

So in my view as soon as a girl is physically ready for reproduction, there's nothing weird about being attracted, it's not even a conscious choice.

As far as psychological 'maturity' I think this is a bit of a red herring that can be used to conjure up problems from anything. Sure it is a factor, but it's more of something you decide for yourself since maturity is not really definable or measurable and isn't even always correlated with age. If a girl is completely unworldly I personally wouldn't want to just take her for one night because she'd probably find it hard to deal with. If she's only interested in childish things that would be a turnoff for me. I like to feel that a girl is at least genuinely curious and interested in things at my level (which isn't the same as being there). That way our experience together can be something that gives her growth of some kind, which is something I personally value and enjoy in any relationship with a woman.

 

[Chase]

@Ambiance,

What I am really asking is: when would you consider a girl to be too young to seduce?

There are only four considerations:

1. How does this appear to society / others?
2. Can it get me in trouble legally or in some other way?
3. Is it morally correct for me to do?
4. is it anything I consider taboo?

You've said you don't care about #1. The girls you're going for are of age, so #2 is not an issue, unless you have a job at some culturally revolutionary place where if they find out you've got a young girlfriend they'll sack you (unlikely).

So what you're really asking about is morals and taboos.

Morals are culturally determined to some degree, but also much more individually variable.

Taboos are culturally-determined. This is really what @Will_V is talking about. There's this sort of growing consensus in the US that an adult man engaging in sexual relations with a girl under 18, even if it is legal, is taboo. That's not even really about morals or anything... the girl might be the aggressive party for all anyone's concerned. But it's a bit like shagging your cousin; even if it's not illegal or immoral, it is still taboo, and people will self-police themselves to prevent themselves doing things that are taboo.

In your case:

I actually was really liking her. She knew all of these Swedish bands I love, and was an avid skier. Very cute face and hair, and really nice figure too. Was so surprised she was still in high school. Had she been in college, I would have been all over her.

It just felt weird to me. Here I am, a man well out of college with his own apartment and sports car and tons of experience, going after a girl who is still in high school and may not even be 18 yet (I only found out she was a senior, didn't ask her age). Had I still been in college or even freshly out of college, I would have quite enjoyed being the "big bad older guy robbing the cradle" with her, something I have done on multiple occasions.

That doesn't sound like a moral question; it sounds like you felt like you'd be violating a taboo.

In this case, it is the fairly entrenched 21st Century American taboo of "adult man with under-18 girl is violation of taboo."

So, it felt weird. It didn't feel morally wrong, it just felt like a weird thing to do.

That's taboos.

If you ask a forum about whether the guys on the forum consider it taboo, you are going to get different responses based on the cultural backgrounds of the participants.

Men who share your culture are going to say yes, it's taboo. Men from your culture who have unplugged from your shared cultural milieu may think it less taboo. Men from completely different cultures may find it odd that you find it taboo.

Perhaps the more interesting question might be, "WHY is this taboo in my society, while in others it is not?"

And no facile answers like, "It's the patriarchy!" or "We've made progress!"

You've got to dig to the nuts and bolts of it. Typically it's due to the way people live and progress through different phases of life changing as a society changes.

Chase

 

[Police dog]

A lot of great points by replies above. Just to add my 2c - when I turned 23-24 I realized that 18 yo girls look too young and I feel like a pedo if I hit on them, probably it’s just me, lol

 

[DarkKnight]

when I turned 23-24 I realized that 18 yo girls look too young and I feel like a pedo if I hit on them, probably it’s just me, lol

Come on man .. this is obvious fear of social shaming.

 

[Skills]

Hello gents -

Hope you all are well. I'll get right to it: on two recent separate occasions I was chatting up a hot girl that was very interested, everything was going great, but then I found out one was still in her senior year of high school and the other a freshman in college. In the past, this wouldn't have been a problem, but now that I am in my mid-twenties I felt awkward about taking the interaction any further.

These two events made me realize I don't actually know what my age cutoff should be. There is of course the age of consent, which in my state in most cases is 17 (though 15 and 16 year olds can legally get with up to 25 and 26 year olds ). So I could have legally slept with both of these girls no problem. But do I really want to be that guy getting with a high schooler? And if it is ok now, will it not be when I turn 30 or 40 or beyond?

I feel like the girl's maturity should also be a factor. For instance, the freshman I talked to was just nowhere near my level of maturity, but the high school senior seemed very mature for her age (she was from Sweden which partially explains why).

Should I have gone for either of these girls? Are college girls okay but high school should be off limits? What about if the girl is really mature? And finally, how does a man's own age factor in?

What matters is your sexual attraction, if they turn you on go for it, i did...as long as is legal...