is this a shit test from co-worker?

[astroglide]

Background story: I started working at my new job about a month ago, while she had been there for about a year or so. Because her and I work til close, sometimes I would give her a ride home. I started talking to her more and more and one day at work I was surprised when she brought me a drink from her other work place (a restaurant) for me because I had mentioned that I had never tried that particular drink before. It that was that point where I thought she might having feelings for me. We talk more and I'm getting to know her more. Last week, I asked if she wanted to go see a parade that was in town in 2 weeks (she had never seen this parade and looked excited), but she said she had other plans. Ok. Then another day I stated that we should hang out sometime, but she said she works all week except for one day (which is true) but said on the day she is not working, she said she is doing stuff for herself. Ok. We are still talking and enjoying each others company. Yesterday, as I drop her off home, I asked for her number. She said "there are other ways that you can get it". Which is true. All the employees phone numbers are posted on the wall. I knew that. But I wanted to get it from her...because getting it from the wall seemed kinda creeper status.

So when she told me that, it really hit me by surprise. I mean, it isn't like I'm asking you to be my girlfriend or anything. I'm not even a stranger. As a matter of fact, I'm the only guy at work who she is actually talking with and having fun conversations with. It was fun. I don't get it. When she said "there are other ways you can get it" I'm sure she meant by looking at the wall, but why wouldn't she just give me it there? So I took that as a rejection. Today at work, I kept it cool, said hi to her but didn't talk to her or look at her. I think she knows whatsup.

 

[astroglide]

should I forget about her and stop trying to chase her?

 

[astroglide]

I was thinking about saying this.. Next time she ask for a ride, I'll say "there are other ways you can get a ride" which is true. But I don't know if I want to go there and look like a total asshole.

 

[Doctor]

If you are giving her a ride on a regular basis then you probably don't need her number right now; you will have plenty of face time which is much better. I would persist for arranging a date in person as much as you can but remember as you are a colleague she is likely to put up a lot more resistance because of the consequences of it going badly are much higher. So try to be ready for that and don't let it bother you. Remember reputation management is massively important to women and this may be why she didn't give you her number straight off; "there are other ways to get it" sounds like a deflection to buy time to me. She may not be completely sold on the fact that you are worth the risk yet.

Also, she may be trying to get you to chase. If you get her number off the wall and text her this is chasing, do not do this! If you just keep asking in person, in a relaxed way with outcome independence, this is persistence, do this!

Of course if she does agree to a date then you grab her number, if she doesn't give it to you at that point then she is probably crazy or something!

If she keeps resisting then she may not be interested for whatever reason. I would slowly stop giving her lifts after that. If she asks why just say something like "I am not going the usual way today" or "I need to go somewhere else after work this time". The intrigue may just re-engage her.

P.S. Forgot to say

I was thinking about saying this.. Next time she ask for a ride, I'll say "there are other ways you can get a ride" which is true. But I don't know if I want to go there and look like a total asshole.

Definitely don't do that. If you do then she knows what she said has gotten to you and you are reacting to it. If she sees you doing that then your goose is cooked so to speak! I know we all want to call women out on their bullshit sometimes but just remember doing so is usually a death sentence for any attraction she has for you. Also remember comments like this usually come from her insecurity, she isn't sure moving forward with you is the right thing to do yet, she just needs a bit more convincing. She most likely isn't trying to be malicious.

Good luck with it all!

-Doctor