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Is this good or bad?

shinshteru

Space Monkey
space monkey
Joined
Sep 10, 2015
Messages
11
I got this girls number after talking to her. During the conversation she mentioned she was going overseas for a vacation. The next day she goes overseas. Some time later I text her number and she responds. During the conversation I ask her out for coffee or dinner and a movie when she returns. She responds movie or a coffee? Let's catch up for a coffee when I return. I respond OK see you then. Enjoy your overseas vacation.
Now my question is...............
Is this a good thing that she accepted my invitation or is this a bad thing that I did something wrong and she will lead me to the FRIEND ZONE?
 

lao che

Cro-Magnon Man
Cro-Magnon Man
Joined
Apr 21, 2013
Messages
492
this seems fine. if she's gone for a long time you need to occasionally communicate with her via text. but if it's just for a few days then you can just wait for her to get back, she should re-intitiate but if not you should fire out a quick text.
note that she may have been after a quickie, if she's like "yeah ... so i'm leaving the country soon. this is my last night ....." that's an opportunity to escalate, but not enough detail in your post to know for certain.

you offered "movie or a coffee" which is a bit much - "movie" suggests dates, boyfriends, awkwardness etc you should have kept it simpler, just ask her for a coffee. she responds "movie or coffee? sure let's meet for a coffee" which could be her trying to dodge anything romantic sounding.
anyway the fact that she responded and agreed to a coffee date is a promising sign - presence = interest. if she's responding then she's at least interested. there's nothing friendzoney about it - yet. remember, she can't "lead you" to the friendzone, you can only put yourself there. it's up to you to set the frame, let her know what she can expect
"ok, see you then .... " is not a great response. you need to get used to a little banter, esp chase framing, via text, esp if she's gonna be gone for a few weeks. keep it light and fun


meh, i''m having difficulty organizing my thoughts in a succinct and coherent fashion but that should get you pointing in the right direction
 

shinshteru

Space Monkey
space monkey
Joined
Sep 10, 2015
Messages
11
OK then so after a few weeks of banter she is back from her vacation. I text her for coffee and what's her schedule like this week. She replies "Our coffee catch up! ok I am busy this day and doing some other stuff. How about your schedule?"I reply I am busy this day but that other day is fine for me. We negotiate a time and I suggest a place. Now fast track to today and it's only a few days until our "coffee catch up" and I am starting to feel really sick. FML so I want to reschedule and say "Sorry I can't be there for coffee today as I am sick. Let's reschedule at another time. What's your schedule like for next week?" Is this a good response or does anyone else have a better one to give?
 

lao che

Cro-Magnon Man
Cro-Magnon Man
Joined
Apr 21, 2013
Messages
492
sick? like catching a fever, or like nerves because of the date?

if it's nerves, then just feel the fear and get it done! if it's illness then i imagine drexel's latest article will be of some benefit
 

shinshteru

Space Monkey
space monkey
Joined
Sep 10, 2015
Messages
11
It's illness and it'll take me some time to fully recover. Oh what is the name of drexel's article that you are talking about?
 
a good date brings a smile to your lips... and hers

shinshteru

Space Monkey
space monkey
Joined
Sep 10, 2015
Messages
11
If you are referring to "What to Do When She Wants to Reschedule"? that's a woman half flaking
In this case it would be "What to Do When He Flakes on her and Wants to Reschedule"? where the man is half flaking
So is this a good reply then?
"For personal reasons I can't see you today. Let's reschedule at another time okay?" or does anyone have a better response to this scenario
 

lao che

Cro-Magnon Man
Cro-Magnon Man
Joined
Apr 21, 2013
Messages
492
i guess you're over thinking it a little. the actual wording isn't gonna matter a great deal. and the tone of the message is dependent on you and your previous correspondence.
so it's either direct playful mysterious or whatever.

hi i'm getting kinda sick gonna have to postpone coffee

don't want you getting to close to me and catching this fever i've picked up. postpone our coffee for a few days?

i'm coming down with some nasty illness so i'm gonna be a responsible citizen and stay indoors where i can't spread it

sorry something's come up last minute i'll have to reschedule :(

or whatever you decide. something more personal based on your convo history
 

lux7

Cro-Magnon Man
Cro-Magnon Man
Joined
Apr 10, 2013
Messages
880
Opening topics with an unclear subject is pretty bad, yes, respect other people's time man or if you don't care about our time many of us won't care to open or read your thread.
 

shinshteru

Space Monkey
space monkey
Joined
Sep 10, 2015
Messages
11
@ lux7 my bad next time I will open a topic with a clearer subject.

So on the day we were suppose to meet I respond That I am starting to get sick and we should meet up an another time. She responds sorry you are sick, I hope you get better soon, take care of yourself okay. Let's reschedule later then. A few days have passed now and I reschedule. She responds that she is busy this week and then will travel overseas for another vacation for a while, we should catch up when I return. I respond no worries. Enjoy your vacation again hahaha. Now my question is that "is she worth waiting around for (using banter during this time she is on vacation) and see what happens" or "should I just dismiss her and just find another"?
 

shinshteru

Space Monkey
space monkey
Joined
Sep 10, 2015
Messages
11
bump

so should I...................
1."is she worth waiting around for (using banter during this time she is on vacation) and see what happens?"
or
2. "should I just dismiss her and just find another"?
 
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