At one point I was thinking to myself "How can I expect to date a Hot girl if I am not Hot myself?" or "How can I expect to date an attractive girl if i am not attractive myself?" I think its simple logic, but some other PUA's sell that shit that "looks dont matter" and I think thats gabbage. Isnt it bullshit, most men want to date hot women but never take the time to make themselves attractive to women. Looking back 2 years ago, i used to wear baggy jeans, big shoe, and had no sense of fashion. One of my ex girlfriends even told me to change the way I dress but i was too egolistic I thought she needed to love me for who I am and not the clothes I wear, she dumped me and dated someone else. I feel like slapping my face for not improving my looks 2 years ago. When am with my friends I hear them talk a lot of about how they want to bang and date really hot attractive girls, but these guys dont even workout, they wear cruppy clothes, they look really average and not interesting. And when hot attractive girls reject them all they say is "hot girls just want guys with lots of money".
Yes, a lot of hot girls just date some guys for their money and fuck other guys for fun.
Hot is the wrong word to use. I wouldn't expect to date an attractive girl without great fundamentals too.
https://www.girlschase.com/content/great ... ntangibles
Hot is the wrong word to use. I wouldn't expect to date an attractive girl without great fundamentals too.
https://www.girlschase.com/content/great ... ntangibles
- Joined
- Mar 1, 2013
- Messages
- 1,819
Yup, this topic is touched on a lot here on GC and Chase, Franco, and other writers such as myself don't believe that looks are unimportant. That being said, a guy doesn't need a six-pack with washboard abs to be attractive either - only a flat stomach, little rolls, etc.
So, be wary of switching out one extreme for another. Don't go from "Looks don't matter" to "Six pack abs matter the most!"
-Richard
So, be wary of switching out one extreme for another. Don't go from "Looks don't matter" to "Six pack abs matter the most!"
-Richard
- Joined
- Aug 5, 2015
- Messages
- 430
I really don't want to get deep into this but there are two basic types of attractive women who react totally different to men. Yes they both want attractive men. But a different kind of attractive. There is the party girl and the non-party girl. The party girl is the just want to have fun girl. She want to have sex with "hot" guys. She only cares about money if the guy is buying her drinks and making her night fun. She is superficial and mostly goes on looks.
The non-party girl is looking for a different kind of attractive guy. She want someone who shows he cares about his looks and social status. He can be a bad boy or sophisticated. He is an Alpha male. Does he have to have Brad Pitt looks? No. But he does have to have his shit together. She wants someone worthy of her attention. If you want to fuck hot girls and are not hot yourself this is the type of girl to approach. If you have your fundamentals high you have a shot.
SGent
The non-party girl is looking for a different kind of attractive guy. She want someone who shows he cares about his looks and social status. He can be a bad boy or sophisticated. He is an Alpha male. Does he have to have Brad Pitt looks? No. But he does have to have his shit together. She wants someone worthy of her attention. If you want to fuck hot girls and are not hot yourself this is the type of girl to approach. If you have your fundamentals high you have a shot.
SGent
Great looks - including decent clothes, grooming and facial hair, the way you stand and take space around you and so forth - will give you good initial spike in attraction. There is a big difference if she perceives you as attractive guy vs unattractive guy. If you have good looks the initial spike in attraction can be quite huge.
However, good looks are far away from being enough. The initial attraction spike can go away very fast, then what becomes more important is your personality, resp. behavior - the way you talk to her, the way you express yourself, the way you show her whether you are dominant enough... So this second wave of attraction is much more important than good looks. If a guy doesn't have good looks but has personality, he is much more succesful than good looking guy without personality...
So, most guys are most likely thinking that they should look hot first, and then they should have great personality. That is however somehow incorrect logic. The problem with great looks is, once you look hot (or too hot, too sexy,...) you have to PROVE yourself to the girl with personality.
Say that she sees a hot guy, so she expect hot personality. If he doesn't meet her expectations she will fall into autorejection very fast... I'm talking seconds, you can even see it in her face.... So the spike of attraction goes sharply up - say from 0 to 90% in couple of seconds (when average is 50%). But then if you don't prove yourself as a hot guy that meets those 80-90% of attraction, and the spike goes sharply down, from 90% easily to 20%... Dumping ground occurs, she will not go for a date with you, she may even get disappointed... You will be perceived as great looking guy - who has no personality...
Much better way is to look good, just little bit better than average. This way you will still project good initial attraction, say from 0 to 60%, but at the same time you don't have to prove yourself necessary as a "hot guy". At this time you are just a good looking guy, but she has no clue about your personality, she is curious to find out... So once there is good intitial attraction and she shows interest, you then incorporate your personality, your behavior... Now you can go easily to 70-80% and stay at this level of attraction much longer... You will be perceived as good looking guy with quite interesting personality...
That is why so many newbies have such a hard time. They put on great looks, all the sexy smiles, dominant looks and walks - and then they start talking to the girl with average attitude... She then realizes that most of the appearance is just sort of fake, he simply doesn't meet his appearance with his behavior, there is no congruence... Dumping ground, no return texts, more flaking, more excuses, more headaches from rejections...
However, good looks are far away from being enough. The initial attraction spike can go away very fast, then what becomes more important is your personality, resp. behavior - the way you talk to her, the way you express yourself, the way you show her whether you are dominant enough... So this second wave of attraction is much more important than good looks. If a guy doesn't have good looks but has personality, he is much more succesful than good looking guy without personality...
So, most guys are most likely thinking that they should look hot first, and then they should have great personality. That is however somehow incorrect logic. The problem with great looks is, once you look hot (or too hot, too sexy,...) you have to PROVE yourself to the girl with personality.
Say that she sees a hot guy, so she expect hot personality. If he doesn't meet her expectations she will fall into autorejection very fast... I'm talking seconds, you can even see it in her face.... So the spike of attraction goes sharply up - say from 0 to 90% in couple of seconds (when average is 50%). But then if you don't prove yourself as a hot guy that meets those 80-90% of attraction, and the spike goes sharply down, from 90% easily to 20%... Dumping ground occurs, she will not go for a date with you, she may even get disappointed... You will be perceived as great looking guy - who has no personality...
Much better way is to look good, just little bit better than average. This way you will still project good initial attraction, say from 0 to 60%, but at the same time you don't have to prove yourself necessary as a "hot guy". At this time you are just a good looking guy, but she has no clue about your personality, she is curious to find out... So once there is good intitial attraction and she shows interest, you then incorporate your personality, your behavior... Now you can go easily to 70-80% and stay at this level of attraction much longer... You will be perceived as good looking guy with quite interesting personality...
That is why so many newbies have such a hard time. They put on great looks, all the sexy smiles, dominant looks and walks - and then they start talking to the girl with average attitude... She then realizes that most of the appearance is just sort of fake, he simply doesn't meet his appearance with his behavior, there is no congruence... Dumping ground, no return texts, more flaking, more excuses, more headaches from rejections...