Gentlemen,
I’m back!
So if you read my last post (viewtopic.php?f=5&t=9790&p=47641#p47641) you’ll know I slipped into a relationship with a Belgian girl. (DON’T DO THIS! - read this viewtopic.php?f=7&t=192&p=1194#p1194)
Well I ended it yesterday, however it turns out it wasn’t as serious as we both thought. I thought she wanted a relationship, but she didn’t. And she thought I wanted a relationship, which I didn’t. Also thanks to Chase again for your insight to it all. What you said combined with a lot of other things meant it wasn’t working. But it all got cleared up and I could start getting in bed with other girls again.
Which I did, the same night…obviously.
I call this Italiana No.1 because I LOVE Italians, and I just know it’s not going to be my first or last Italian. However, this one I didn’t sleep with, for a number of reasons which I’ll cover later.
Background on her
Let’s call her Susan (very Italian name).
Last semester I cold-approached an Italian girl (not Susan) I liked and got her number. She then invited me out for drinks with a few of her friends. Long story short I didn’t get the girl in the end but I ended up with an entire new social circle of really really good friends, most of them stunning Italian girls.
Unfortunately they all went back to Italy at the end of last semester, apart from two. One of them I met up with last night. Unfortunately, she isn’t one of the most stunning of the group.
The things I may say later about this girl may seem rather negative and rude, but I’m going to say them so you can see my mindset when I was there.
She’s not the skinniest, well, actually, she’s rather busty. She does, however, have a fairly pretty face. Lovely smile and deep brown eyes. I thought the face would compensate for the body and when naked, it wouldn’t be so bad.
So a week or two ago she messaged me out of the blue saying we should catch up. I loved the idea as it would be good to see her again and then organised last weekend. I then got busy and flaked, also didn’t want to do anything as I still had to sort out the Belgian girl situation, who was away at the time. But instead I set up last night, knowing that I could see the Belgian in the morning and be completely sorted.
Her messages were always extremely excited and committing. Via texts, I had managed to work out what her area was like and what there was to do here and that she had a single room in the student dorms.
Meet-up
I go over to her area and we hit a restaurant/bar thing for some food and drinks. The conversation was relaxed. I actually didn’t know her that well. Because she had been at this different University not far away from mine (hence why she stayed but all her friends at my University went home to Italy), she had only now and then popped over to join us for nights out etc, so I never got to know her properly.
We chatted mainly about travelling, our home countries and the Asian country we’re in. A bit of deep diving, but nothing serious.
But she seemed incredibly nervous.
She was constantly fiddling. She would fiddle with the beer bottle. Tap it, very slowly spin it. Fiddle with napkins. Randomly touch, tap or move the plastic standy-up menu thing on the table. And also curl and fiddle with her hair.
The hair, combined with her constant smiling and fairly decent eye contact was an obvious sign of attraction. A blind parrot would know that, but the rest were just signs that she was incredibly nervous.
I was extremely calm. Lately, I’ve become more and more calm and Zen (even though I’ve slacked on the meditation front, which I’ll get to later). So while she was trying to subtly fumble, I was just as chilled as can be.
Well, after about 2 hours I suggest we head back to hers to watch an episode of a show we had previously mentioned, and she instantly said “yeah, sure!” No resistance. At. All.
So we head back to hers and put on the show. The problem was I didn’t make the move within 10 minutes of being inside. Because I was now next to her on the bed, I could hear her breathing, which was also very nervous and erratic. She was also sweating a bit on her forehead and she tried to subtly wipe the sweat off her face with a tissue. Even though I was still chilled and calm on the outside, this made me feel uncomfortable on the inside and made me hesitate for the move.
Well, bad game by me, we got through the entire hour and a half episode without me making a move. It then finished and we just sit and chat. We were starting to get a bit more touch in there and then I made the move and kiss her.
Now this is the problem:
This girl couldn’t kiss FOR SHIT.
If there was a world’s worst kissing competition, she would win hands down. Horrible thing to say, but it’s true.
I’ve been trying to think how to describe it. First of all her hands would be on both my cheeks and GRAB my head and hold me there, much like your nan might do when she wants a big smacker on the lips.
But the kisses themselves were constant small little pecks. When you kiss your dog for example, you don’t give it a long lingering kissing on the head/fur whatever, it’s small little pecks all over.
So this is what she was doing to my lips. Over and Over.
Now and then she would jar her mouth wide open and stick her tongue down my throat.
The rate of these kisses and the amount of saliva being transferred actually made me feel sick.
If you put one hand into a fist now and open your other hand into a palm and hit the palm with your fist repeatedly, it was that kind of frequency…and sound. BAM. BAM. BAM. BAM.
So when you’re meant to give a long lingering kiss or two, then pull back to tease her…I couldn’t. I physically couldn’t pull my head back. The second I had made the first kiss she was on me.
My face was being molested.
Bye bye, JP, it was nice knowing you…
What made it worse was the fact she had that really red kind of lipstick on. I actually don’t find this attractive at all. But the problem was because of all this kissing my lips and chin was COVERED in this red lipstick. And when she got even more excited she would kiss and bite my neck which meant she got the lipstick STAINED on my clothes…Mamma mia!!!
I then had another problem. I had a choice of being home by midnight (shitty curfew) or spending the night there. So I made a split second decision to spend the night there as it was far less effort and I wanted to see how far it could go.
She said I could stay but “I don’t want sex”.
In an effort to stop the kissing molestation I suggested we get into bed and go to sleep. She went to take off her make-up (the bits that weren’t all over me) and changed into pyjamas. Here, cuddled up, I could hear her breathing, which was now more of a tremble.
Extremely nervous.
We very lightly started body grabbing each other. Sometimes light, other times building it up. It was getting stupidly hot so I ended up in underwear and my vest, whilst she was still in her pyjamas.
Long story short after about 2 hours I finally managed to start getting her clothes off. First of all her trousers and then her underwear. She had shaved, which was good and I then went down on her and fingered her. She was VERY tight. That, combined with her nervousness gave me a few suspicions.
However, I was in no way aroused. A bad thing to say, but at that moment, I was not attracted to her. Not her body or her face (now without make-up). I then got her top off and her boobs weren’t the greatest either. They were big, but not firm and she had what we call in England ‘burger nipples/nips.’
I was now on top of her, both completely naked. However, I wasn’t hard. At. All.
Giving off a face and expression like “I didn’t then, but I do now.”
LMR conquered.
AND proof that with a bit of persuading girls really do want it.
Well, okay. But the thing is…I now didn’t.
I was psychologically not in the right place to shag her.
I think she was quite happy because she knew me quite well. I'm a kind, humble guy and fairly attractive. Also the fact that as her friends were much more attractive, she previously hadn't received much attention. But now here I was, showing interest in her and she was clearly happy to lose it to me, but I just couldn't do it.
I then get up and go to the toilet to have a think. I come back and she says she needs to go.
I then put on my underwear as it was clear I wasn’t going to get hard and we both then just cuddle and she goes to sleep.
I didn't get hard once at all after that...all night.
For some reason I’m bad at sleeping in the same bed as someone. I don’t have a lot of experience in this so psychologically I can’t fall asleep. So I got absolutely no sleep. It didn’t help that she kept taking all the covers and I was absolutely freezing.
So, after all that, why didn’t I want to sleep with her?!
1. As I said, I literally just wasn’t attracted to her. I wasn’t there in the moment thinking, “oh yes, I want her so bad.” I was dreading every time she went to kiss me and spent most my time with my face buried in her neck.
2. She was a virgin. For some reason this bothered me and for some reason my conscience didn’t like the fact that I would be taking her virginity. I was also worried she would then get clingy and would want to do this more and more. And getting clingy would tie in with #3.
3. It would decrease my chances with her friends.
The last one sounds silly, but at the end of the day if I’ve slept with Susan, who, compared to the others, isn’t the most attractive, this would decrease my chances of sleeping with her friends.
She seems like the sort of girl who would go and tell them all, especially as they know me SO well. And even though they are in Italy, when I do next visit/see them, I reckon they would be less inclined because I’ve slept with Susan.
Thoughts on that?
Now, I know this all sounds very negative. So I thought I would quickly skim over some positives from this experience.
1. I was calm and collected the entire time. On the outside, it looked like nothing phased me and, during the meal, I looked completely comfortable. I think it is this, combined with my fundamentals and my general appearance which made her nervous.
2. I conquered LMR. It took a while, but instead of me jumping all over her and escalating hard, simply being chilled and slowly vamping it up resulted in her taking her own clothes off and asking me for sex.
3. Law of Least Effort. I literally did nothing. Which in a way almost worked against me as I didn’t make the move within 10 minutes. This would have then made me determine that she was an inexperienced girl (and an awful kisser) and would have affected my judgement on whether I should stay the night there or not. But apart from that, I barely did anything and I ended up in a place where I could have shagged her. Law of Least Effort is a wonderful thing.
So that’s that. Best thing to take away from this is make a move sooner. Not only will you get laid faster (obviously) but you can determine what kind of girl she is and whether you think you want to follow it through. You can work out her experience just from how she acts after the move. And to be honest, she was giving me a lot of signs showing she was a virgin. I picked up on all of them and my suspicions turned out correct.
Did I miss out on an easy lay? YES.
Would I have enjoyed it? NO.
Tough one.
I also need to start getting right mentally. Trying to make the meditation a bit more regular, anything else anyone can suggest on top of that?
By the way, I’m thinking of sending a text within the next day or two like:
Well, ciao for now,
- JP
I’m back!
So if you read my last post (viewtopic.php?f=5&t=9790&p=47641#p47641) you’ll know I slipped into a relationship with a Belgian girl. (DON’T DO THIS! - read this viewtopic.php?f=7&t=192&p=1194#p1194)
Well I ended it yesterday, however it turns out it wasn’t as serious as we both thought. I thought she wanted a relationship, but she didn’t. And she thought I wanted a relationship, which I didn’t. Also thanks to Chase again for your insight to it all. What you said combined with a lot of other things meant it wasn’t working. But it all got cleared up and I could start getting in bed with other girls again.
Which I did, the same night…obviously.
I call this Italiana No.1 because I LOVE Italians, and I just know it’s not going to be my first or last Italian. However, this one I didn’t sleep with, for a number of reasons which I’ll cover later.
Background on her
Let’s call her Susan (very Italian name).
Last semester I cold-approached an Italian girl (not Susan) I liked and got her number. She then invited me out for drinks with a few of her friends. Long story short I didn’t get the girl in the end but I ended up with an entire new social circle of really really good friends, most of them stunning Italian girls.
Unfortunately they all went back to Italy at the end of last semester, apart from two. One of them I met up with last night. Unfortunately, she isn’t one of the most stunning of the group.
The things I may say later about this girl may seem rather negative and rude, but I’m going to say them so you can see my mindset when I was there.
She’s not the skinniest, well, actually, she’s rather busty. She does, however, have a fairly pretty face. Lovely smile and deep brown eyes. I thought the face would compensate for the body and when naked, it wouldn’t be so bad.
So a week or two ago she messaged me out of the blue saying we should catch up. I loved the idea as it would be good to see her again and then organised last weekend. I then got busy and flaked, also didn’t want to do anything as I still had to sort out the Belgian girl situation, who was away at the time. But instead I set up last night, knowing that I could see the Belgian in the morning and be completely sorted.
Her messages were always extremely excited and committing. Via texts, I had managed to work out what her area was like and what there was to do here and that she had a single room in the student dorms.
Meet-up
I go over to her area and we hit a restaurant/bar thing for some food and drinks. The conversation was relaxed. I actually didn’t know her that well. Because she had been at this different University not far away from mine (hence why she stayed but all her friends at my University went home to Italy), she had only now and then popped over to join us for nights out etc, so I never got to know her properly.
We chatted mainly about travelling, our home countries and the Asian country we’re in. A bit of deep diving, but nothing serious.
But she seemed incredibly nervous.
She was constantly fiddling. She would fiddle with the beer bottle. Tap it, very slowly spin it. Fiddle with napkins. Randomly touch, tap or move the plastic standy-up menu thing on the table. And also curl and fiddle with her hair.
The hair, combined with her constant smiling and fairly decent eye contact was an obvious sign of attraction. A blind parrot would know that, but the rest were just signs that she was incredibly nervous.
I was extremely calm. Lately, I’ve become more and more calm and Zen (even though I’ve slacked on the meditation front, which I’ll get to later). So while she was trying to subtly fumble, I was just as chilled as can be.
Well, after about 2 hours I suggest we head back to hers to watch an episode of a show we had previously mentioned, and she instantly said “yeah, sure!” No resistance. At. All.
So we head back to hers and put on the show. The problem was I didn’t make the move within 10 minutes of being inside. Because I was now next to her on the bed, I could hear her breathing, which was also very nervous and erratic. She was also sweating a bit on her forehead and she tried to subtly wipe the sweat off her face with a tissue. Even though I was still chilled and calm on the outside, this made me feel uncomfortable on the inside and made me hesitate for the move.
Well, bad game by me, we got through the entire hour and a half episode without me making a move. It then finished and we just sit and chat. We were starting to get a bit more touch in there and then I made the move and kiss her.
Now this is the problem:
This girl couldn’t kiss FOR SHIT.
If there was a world’s worst kissing competition, she would win hands down. Horrible thing to say, but it’s true.
I’ve been trying to think how to describe it. First of all her hands would be on both my cheeks and GRAB my head and hold me there, much like your nan might do when she wants a big smacker on the lips.
But the kisses themselves were constant small little pecks. When you kiss your dog for example, you don’t give it a long lingering kissing on the head/fur whatever, it’s small little pecks all over.
So this is what she was doing to my lips. Over and Over.
Now and then she would jar her mouth wide open and stick her tongue down my throat.
The rate of these kisses and the amount of saliva being transferred actually made me feel sick.
If you put one hand into a fist now and open your other hand into a palm and hit the palm with your fist repeatedly, it was that kind of frequency…and sound. BAM. BAM. BAM. BAM.
So when you’re meant to give a long lingering kiss or two, then pull back to tease her…I couldn’t. I physically couldn’t pull my head back. The second I had made the first kiss she was on me.
My face was being molested.
Bye bye, JP, it was nice knowing you…
What made it worse was the fact she had that really red kind of lipstick on. I actually don’t find this attractive at all. But the problem was because of all this kissing my lips and chin was COVERED in this red lipstick. And when she got even more excited she would kiss and bite my neck which meant she got the lipstick STAINED on my clothes…Mamma mia!!!
I then had another problem. I had a choice of being home by midnight (shitty curfew) or spending the night there. So I made a split second decision to spend the night there as it was far less effort and I wanted to see how far it could go.
She said I could stay but “I don’t want sex”.
In an effort to stop the kissing molestation I suggested we get into bed and go to sleep. She went to take off her make-up (the bits that weren’t all over me) and changed into pyjamas. Here, cuddled up, I could hear her breathing, which was now more of a tremble.
Extremely nervous.
We very lightly started body grabbing each other. Sometimes light, other times building it up. It was getting stupidly hot so I ended up in underwear and my vest, whilst she was still in her pyjamas.
Long story short after about 2 hours I finally managed to start getting her clothes off. First of all her trousers and then her underwear. She had shaved, which was good and I then went down on her and fingered her. She was VERY tight. That, combined with her nervousness gave me a few suspicions.
However, I was in no way aroused. A bad thing to say, but at that moment, I was not attracted to her. Not her body or her face (now without make-up). I then got her top off and her boobs weren’t the greatest either. They were big, but not firm and she had what we call in England ‘burger nipples/nips.’
I was now on top of her, both completely naked. However, I wasn’t hard. At. All.
Giving off a face and expression like “I didn’t then, but I do now.”
LMR conquered.
AND proof that with a bit of persuading girls really do want it.
Well, okay. But the thing is…I now didn’t.
I was psychologically not in the right place to shag her.
I think she was quite happy because she knew me quite well. I'm a kind, humble guy and fairly attractive. Also the fact that as her friends were much more attractive, she previously hadn't received much attention. But now here I was, showing interest in her and she was clearly happy to lose it to me, but I just couldn't do it.
I then get up and go to the toilet to have a think. I come back and she says she needs to go.
I then put on my underwear as it was clear I wasn’t going to get hard and we both then just cuddle and she goes to sleep.
I didn't get hard once at all after that...all night.
For some reason I’m bad at sleeping in the same bed as someone. I don’t have a lot of experience in this so psychologically I can’t fall asleep. So I got absolutely no sleep. It didn’t help that she kept taking all the covers and I was absolutely freezing.
So, after all that, why didn’t I want to sleep with her?!
1. As I said, I literally just wasn’t attracted to her. I wasn’t there in the moment thinking, “oh yes, I want her so bad.” I was dreading every time she went to kiss me and spent most my time with my face buried in her neck.
2. She was a virgin. For some reason this bothered me and for some reason my conscience didn’t like the fact that I would be taking her virginity. I was also worried she would then get clingy and would want to do this more and more. And getting clingy would tie in with #3.
3. It would decrease my chances with her friends.
The last one sounds silly, but at the end of the day if I’ve slept with Susan, who, compared to the others, isn’t the most attractive, this would decrease my chances of sleeping with her friends.
She seems like the sort of girl who would go and tell them all, especially as they know me SO well. And even though they are in Italy, when I do next visit/see them, I reckon they would be less inclined because I’ve slept with Susan.
Thoughts on that?
Now, I know this all sounds very negative. So I thought I would quickly skim over some positives from this experience.
1. I was calm and collected the entire time. On the outside, it looked like nothing phased me and, during the meal, I looked completely comfortable. I think it is this, combined with my fundamentals and my general appearance which made her nervous.
2. I conquered LMR. It took a while, but instead of me jumping all over her and escalating hard, simply being chilled and slowly vamping it up resulted in her taking her own clothes off and asking me for sex.
3. Law of Least Effort. I literally did nothing. Which in a way almost worked against me as I didn’t make the move within 10 minutes. This would have then made me determine that she was an inexperienced girl (and an awful kisser) and would have affected my judgement on whether I should stay the night there or not. But apart from that, I barely did anything and I ended up in a place where I could have shagged her. Law of Least Effort is a wonderful thing.
So that’s that. Best thing to take away from this is make a move sooner. Not only will you get laid faster (obviously) but you can determine what kind of girl she is and whether you think you want to follow it through. You can work out her experience just from how she acts after the move. And to be honest, she was giving me a lot of signs showing she was a virgin. I picked up on all of them and my suspicions turned out correct.
Did I miss out on an easy lay? YES.
Would I have enjoyed it? NO.
Tough one.
I also need to start getting right mentally. Trying to make the meditation a bit more regular, anything else anyone can suggest on top of that?
By the way, I’m thinking of sending a text within the next day or two like:
Well, ciao for now,
- JP
